Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the movie Zootopia are all owned by Disney the great and powerful. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

'Otto the Bear', performed by the group Bombadil. The melody for 'The Teddy Bears Picnic' was composed in 1907, with lyrics written in 1932. I provided background for 'Wedding of the Painted Doll' and 'The Wreck of the Nancy Lee' in When the Ship Comes in. Beethoven's Fourth Symphony is my favorite, I can't figure out why the Third and Fifth receive all the attention. I found a rumor or two, but no trustworthy information for the origin of [My Uncle Walter] 'Waltzes with Bears'. I suspect it predates (and inspired) 'My Uncle Terwilliger Waltzes With Bears' by Dr. Seuss, but without reliable information I may have that bass-ackwards. The 1942 Hepburn-Tracy movie Woman of the Year inspired the Broadway musical of the same name, which won numerous Tony awards in 1981. I can't swear that Billy Cotton recorded 'Ballin' the Jack', but would be moderately surprised if he didn't. I think that covers most songs mentioned by name, and an OC.

In his 1697 play The Mourning Bride, William Congreve penned the line "Music hath charms to soothe the savage breast," – oft misquoted as beast. Sometimes the charms work. Sometimes they don't

Sharla appeared briefly in Who Do You Trust? starting at chapter 15. She has grown into an attractive female who teaches music in the Wheaton school district.

Music Hath Charms

"I've got news," Sharla told Judy over the phone. "I'm coming into Zootopia on the ninth. Well, three busloads of students from Wheaton are coming into Zootopia and I'm one of the chaperones."

"Any chance of us getting together?"

"I hope so. I hear that a police officer or two is usually assigned to groups visiting the natural history museum. I know you and Nick are important detectives, but is there any–"

Judy laughed, "I don't know that Nick and I are important detectives, but I'll ask. Dinner? Staying the night in Zootopia or heading back?"

"Spending the night, but Museum in afternoon and concert in evening. Maybe we can go out after the concert?"

Jezebel Jaloux glanced out the kitchen window as she made her husband's breakfast. That shameless hussy of music teacher was out for her morning jog. She wondered if her husband was looking out of the upstairs window at the ewe. And, of course, it meant the phone was about to–

"Jez? She's out again. I'm sure she'd claim to be jogging. She's just flaunting her body."

"It's terrible, isn't it?"

"It certainly is. I have no idea why they hired her. She should get a husband... A husband of her own, and... Did I tell you Danny says all the children in school love her?"

"I'm not surprised. That Miss Lanol smiles too much. Children fall for that. When I was in school our music teacher must have been a hundred years old. She never smiled."

"You've heard she's one of the chaperones on the Zootopia field trip?"

"Yes."

"And you heard she claims to know those detectives... Hoops and Milde? The two who solved that big mess a year or two ago?"

"And..."

"Well, this will certainly be a chance to show her up as a fraud. You're a chaperone too, aren't you."

"Yes."

"Let's just see if her 'friends' really know her."

The Wheaton school buses pulled into the area reserved for bus parking at the Zootopia Museum of Natural History lot. Sharla looked around as she got off the bus, hoping to see Judy and Nick. She didn't see the detectives. But an overweight cheetah in a police uniform headed toward her.

"Excuse me, are you Sharla Lanol?"

"Yes..."

"Clawhauser," the desk sergeant stammered, "Ben Clawhauser." Judy had not told him her old friend was attractive, very attractive, and also very clearly in good shape. The cheetah wished he weighed ten kilos less. "Bank robbery... Three bank robberies... All the detectives are... They couldn't... And Judy had said you... This was my day off, but Judy had told me she really... So, here I am."

The black sheep gave him a radiant smile and Ben wished he weighed fifteen kilos less. "Thank you. You said your name was Ben Clawhauser? Judy has mentioned you, she says you're a very good friend. How long will you be with us today?"

Judy had asked Clawhauser to stay while the youngsters toured the museum. "Can I stay for the concert?"

Sharla seemed puzzled, "You need my permission?"

"No, I... I mean, I can stay that long, if you want me to," he answered. However long she wanted him to stay, he would stay. He assumed that it was too early to answer the question of how long he could stay with, "Forever." Ben tried to calculate the chances were for a bus breaking down and Sharla needing to stay in Zootopia an extra day or two. He could invite her to... She didn't look like she ate a lot of doughnuts.

The sheep addressed the students. "I had hoped to introduce you to my friend Judy Hopps, but she is on a case. Officer Clawhauser will be with us today, and you need to listen to what he tells you."

Delilah Potins nudged Mrs. Jaloux with an elbow. "Told you," she whispered. "She's never met that detective rabbit. How convenient she can claim her 'friend' is working."

"I can't believe that's a real police officer. A fat cheetah?"

"Zootopia is a cesspool. I'm so glad we live in Wheaton. And did you see the way that... that Sharla flirted with the cheetah? Disgraceful."

The natural history museum was a moderate success. Some of the dioramas depicting the time before the Great Peace were judged wonderfully gross and disgusting. And, if the old bones and artifacts weren't really all that interesting, the students could move around and talk with each other, which they knew would be impossible at the concert that evening. Students engaged in whispered debates over which would be the more boring, Mr. Novak, the science teacher, enthusing over every exhibit at the museum or listening to classical music at the concert that evening.

In the break between museum and concert the students piled back onto the buses. Meals had been ordered in advance and were ready when they reached the Panorama Bread Company. Ben had to place an order and felt nervous. If he ordered too little it might look like he was trying to lose weight – and losing the fight. There was also a chance his stomach might growl during the concert. Ordering too much could look bad too. "I'm just big-boned," he reminded himself as he ordered a sandwich.

Perhaps twenty percent of the students enjoyed the concert. Perhaps twenty percent of the students hated the concert with a deep, fiery, and totally unjustified loathing that can only be experienced by those under sixteen. And sixty percent of the students endured.

Clawhauser generously accompanied the school group back to the hotel where they were staying, and worked on getting his nerve up to ask the ewe out for a drink after the students' curfew.

As Sharla rode one of the buses she noticed a message had come in from Judy while she had the ringer off at the concert. "Call me when you can."

When she could was after the students were asked to go to their rooms for the night.

"Uh, would, ah, you want to go out for a cup of coffee or something?" Ben stammered when they reached the hotel.

"That sounds lovely, but I need to monitor the halls for an hour to make sure students are in their assigned rooms, and stay in their rooms."

He wondered if she meant she could go later, or if she was telling him to get lost. "I can wait."

"And I need to call Judy."

Ten minutes later an auto-call went out from the hotel switchboard to all of the rooms with Wheaton guests. "If you would like to meet a surprise guest please come to Ballroom B on the third floor in ten minutes."

For the students it was a chance to stay up a little later. Adult chaperones wondered what was happening.

As the students entered the ballroom they found Ms Lanol standing with a rabbit and fox. "I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Judy Hopps."

"Do you think that's really Judy Hoops?" Mrs. Jaloux whispered to her friend.

"I doubt it. Probably some actress. She doesn't look like a real detective." (Not that Delilah Potins knew any real detectives. But she watched a lot of television.) "Miss Lanol is afraid of being exposed as a liar, so she hired some rabbit." She managed a haughty sniff. "And, even if it were that detective, it is still terribly rude of her to drag us from our rooms to meet some friend. She has no consideration for others."

"None at all," Mrs. Jaloux nodded in agreement.

"I heard Sharla promise you a surprise guest," Judy announced. "But Nick and I aren't it. I heard someone I know would attend the concert tonight, and begged her to come by and–"

A door to the left of the students opened and in walked Gazelle. Assembled students, faculty, and chaperones gasped. "You didn't beg me," Gazelle corrected Judy. She looked to the students and smiled, "I happen to love Bearthoven's Fourth Symphony, and wouldn't miss a performance. And when Judy said a friend was bringing some students to the concert I wanted to ask how many of you loved it also?"

Wild cheers and applause answered the question as the students realized the concert they had just attended had been wonderful. And they had attended the concert with Gazelle! Well, sort of attended with Gazelle. She had been in the same auditorium even if none of them had seen her during the concert.

"I'm glad you liked it." Gazelle turned to Nick and Judy, "I hope you don't mind, but I brought a surprise for the two of you."

"For us?"

"Yes. I told a friend I would see you after the concert, and he asked for an introduction – and he brought along another friend." She called to someone standing outside the door through which she had entered. "You can come in now."

Only a quarter of the students, and none of the chaperones, recognized the feline with the open silk shirt and gold chains around his neck. The few started to applaud, which caused the others to applaud also, or risk appearing ignorant.

"Who's he?" a young raccoon whispered to the rabbit beside him.

"Jag. He's gonna be real hot. He already... People are starting to notice him."

And everyone recognized the old bear who ambled behind the rapper, a banjo on his back. Otto the Bear's albums of folk songs and children's music had been in everyone's homes – when everyone had albums. Now they were on many MP3 players.

"Really wanted to say thanks to these two," Jag said. "You've probably all heard of the Night Howler crisis. Some of us pred entertainers nearly starved. No one wanted to hire a pred act. I'm really grateful Gazelle here asked me to open for her. And I'm grateful to these two for solving things."

"I'll echo Jag," agreed the bear, "but I don't think it was just musicians. A lot of predator species had trouble getting jobs for awhile, and these two..." He gestured toward Nick and Judy then paused. The bear's brow furrowed and he peered closely at Nick. After a moment of concentration the old bear said in an accusatory tone, "You're that damn fox!"

Jag looked back and forth between the two, "You know each other?"

Nick looked puzzled, "I've never..." then stared at the performer, "You're the homeless bear?"

"He's not–" began Gazelle.

"It was a disguise, so animals wouldn't run up the bidding on me!"

Jag looked at Gazelle, "I got no clue."

"And this fox stole a record from me!"

"I didn't steal anything from you!" retorted Nick. "I'm a record collector," the fox explained. "There's this shabby bear who shows up at auctions and outbids me all the time, even though he looks like a homeless bum. Some new auctioneer called the cops on him once, figuring he must have robbed someone for the wad of cash in his pocket."

"And, while the cops were questioning me, this damn fox got a copy of Billy Cottontail's 'Ballin' the Jack' for nothing! That was what I was there for!"

"It's not my fault you weren't there! I didn't call the police when some vagrant flashed a big roll of cash!"

"Well, I–"

"You didn't recognize him when he was running for Mayor?"

"I voted for Lionheart! I never–"

Gazelle coughed gently, "We're here for the students, remember?"

The 'discussion' ended for the moment.

Gazelle sang a song, a cappella, and took some questions from the students. "Yes. I did enjoy the symphony. I enjoy many kinds of music. There is a lot of good music out there, and it's all there to be enjoyed. Don't limit yourself to carrot sticks, even if you really love carrot sticks, when there is a whole Harvest End feast spread out on the table in front of you. Try different things, and maybe you'll love them too."

Jag didn't have any songs in his performance repertoire that he felt comfortable singing in front of the younger students.

Otto played a couple songs, 'Teddy Bear's Picnic' and 'Waltzing with Bears'. He managed to get all the animals singing on the chorus of 'Waltzing with Bears'.

Sharla said something that Nick and Judy regretted, "Back in Bunnyburrow I was with Judy in chorus. And she says that when Nick was assigned to Sahel duty they sang some duets–"

"I was just in the chorus!" protested Judy. "You were the one who got solos!"

"You said you and Nick performed together."

Nick tried to come to Judy, and his own defense. "They didn't have very high expectations. There were never three professional musicians in the audience. There was never a single professional there."

"C'mon," urged Jag, "give us some titles. If it's anything I know I'll sing with you."

"W-well," Judy admitted, "Two I remember were something about the 'Wreck of the Nancy Lee' and 'Wedding of the Painted Doll'." She crossed her claws and made a wish the rapper had never heard of the songs.

Nick cursed inwardly. While he felt confident Jag didn't know the songs he felt certain that–

"Fun stuff," Otto smiled, "Let's do them."

Nick and Judy had never felt so embarrassed in their lives. It was one thing to perform for complete strangers who've been drinking, and none of whom have any musical talent. It is another thing entirely to sing in front of friends and professional musicians. Having Otto sing with them helped tremendously. And the children were a very forgiving audience.

Jag offered a word of advice to the couple, "Don't quit your day jobs."

"Quiet," the old bear growled. "You two aren't bad. You need to relax."

Nick rolled his eyes in disbelief, "We're up here singing in front of you and Gazelle, and we should relax?"

"And Sharla," added Judy. She turned to her friend, "You threw Nick and me under the bus. How about you sing something with Gazelle?" She realized, "Oh, I should ask Gazelle if–"

"Sure," Gazelle assured them.

"She has a terribly high opinion of herself if she thinks she can perform with Gazelle," Mrs. Potins whispered to Mrs. Jaloux.

"Vanity is a great sin."

"Well, she's certainly vain. And she'll make a fool of herself in front of everyone if she tries to sing with Gazelle."

Except that Sharla didn't.

"I'll give you the same advice Jag gave, but for a different reason. Don't quit your day job 'cause I don't need to competition."

"Thanks," Sharla laughed. "I... I think you toured with Female of the Year, didn't you?"

"Yes," answered Gazelle. "A revival! I wasn't born when it first came out."

"I did it at university, could we sing 'The Grass Is Greener'?"

"Sounds like fun. Did you play Tess?"

"Yes, but that's your role, I know the Jan–"

"No," insisted Gazelle. "Let me take Jan. You be Tess. I really wanted to try Jan, but the director said I was the star and Jan is a supporting role." She turned to the children. "In the musical Tess is beautiful and famous, but feels like her life is falling apart. She envies Jan. Jan is a housewife who feels like she has never done anything, and she envies Tess and would give anything to be like her. It is a very funny duet."

"Or at least it should be," seconded Sharla.

It was. Gazelle and Sharla had the ballroom in hysterics. Jag was literally rolling on the floor with laughter. It took him a minute to regain control after the two ended the duet. "Please," he begged, "Please, tell me someone got that on their cell phone."

Three students waved cell phones in the air.

"Uploaded to–"

"You might ask Gazelle if she wants it on the web," warned Otto.

"Uh... too late," a young raccoon apologized.

"That's all right," Gazelle told him. "Who knows, maybe I'll get an offer for a comedy role."

Sharla complimented her, "You were wonderful."

"So were you. If you get any recording offers let me know, I can recommend a good agent."

Sharla and Gazelle performed two other songs: another old standard and one of Gazelle's hits.

Students asked the musicians and Nick and Judy a few more questions, as several individuals glanced at watches.

"It's great being here," Jag announced. "But I go on in like forty minutes, and they want me at the club. I gotta split."

"The students need to get a good night's sleep," Sharla told him. "Thank you for coming." She turned to the children, "Back to your rooms." There were grumbles, some from chaperones and teachers. But Sharla answered the pleas stay with, "No. Rooms now. Time for bed."

"I'm going to the club and listen to Jag," Gazelle told Nick and Judy. She turned to Sharla, "Would you care to come with me?" She looked back at Nick and Judy, "And, of course, the invitation is for you too."

Sharla tried to beg off, "I need to make sure the students are–"

Mr. Novak, the science teacher interrupted, "Of course you'll go. I'll monitor the halls. Enjoy yourself."

It had been a long day for Nick and Judy. The fox might have been willing to simply crash for the night, but he knew Judy wanted to talk with Sharla.

The old bear caught Nick's attention as the students filed out of the ballroom, "Any chance you'd sell that copy of 'Ballin' the Jack'?"

"No... But I might consider some kind of trade. You outbid me on... You overbid a lot, you know that?"

"It's not an overbid if a record's worth it to me. But I really want that recording." The bear reached into a pocket and pulled out a business card. "That's my agent's phone number. Got a pen? I can give you mine. Or call my agent and tell him I want to set up time for us to meet and talk records." The old folk singer left by the door he had entered.

Sharla noticed Ben standing to one side, looking awestruck and forlorn at the same time, "I don't want to impose," she whispered to Gazelle, "but Judy's friend, Officer Clawhauser, was a big help today and–"

"Any friend of Nick and Judy's is welcome."

Ben considered pinching himself to make sure he wasn't dreaming. At a table with Gazelle? But if he was dreaming he didn't want to wake up.

"Disgraceful," sniffed Mrs. Potins, "deserting her post to run off to some club with those entertainers. And that Jag creature?"

"Yes?"

"I've never heard him, but I'm sure his music is absolutely filthy and disgusting. I'm just glad he had the decency not to sing anything."

–The End–