Now was one of those times where Liv wished they were still in New York. They had no real support system here which meant she had to get Jesse, Noah, and Asher up in the middle of the night and get them ready to see Amanda in the hospital. Something she was really dreading since Asher had just settled about a half an hour before. Still, there was no way she was waiting until the morning to see her wife.

The kids were cranky. All three of them. While Jesse and Noah were happy that Amanda was ok, they were mad that they weren't going to be able to see her right away. Because Olivia didn't know the extent of the other woman's injuries, she didn't want the kids to see her until the blonde gave her ok. The only exception would be Asher. Amanda hadn't nursed or pumped in hours which meant she was probably uncomfortable. And frankly, Olivia was also hoping that Amanda would be able to get the baby to calm down. He'd been screaming off and on since the blonde was taken and Liv hadn't been able to stop him.

The 30-minute drive to the hospital was just long enough for Jesse and Noah to fall asleep again which meant Olivia had to repeat the process of getting them up all over again. They find the floor the blonde is on where a police officer and a social worker are waiting to watch Jesse and Noah while Liv speaks to the doctors and sees the younger woman.

Olivia tears up the first time she sees Amanda in her hospital bed. She looks so small. There are stitches near her temple, and bruises on her face. Her wrists are bandaged from where the duct tape was wrapped around her skin too tight for too long. Under the gown she's wearing, Olivia knows there's a bruised rib. The blonde suffered a minor concussion, but none of her physical injuries were life threatening and they would all heal. The older woman knew all too well what kind of emotional scars something like this would cause and it would be something they had to take one day at a time.

"Hey." Amanda says from the bed. Voice raspy and accent stronger than usual. Turning to see Liv's face covered in tears. "I'm ok, I'm ok."

The brunette walks over and they embrace. The younger woman wrapping her arms around Liv and Asher. The women kiss. Long and deep only stopping when the baby starts babbling for attention.

Amanda takes the baby into her arms and holds him tight, nuzzling his cheek. "He's probably hungry and tired. The bottle wasn't good enough for him earlier. Jesse and Noah are in the waiting room. I wanted to make sure you were up to see them because I know they want to see you."

"I don't want to scare them. I look worse than I feel." Amanda replies, getting Asher situated so he can nurse.

"I'll explain it to them the best I can. Do you want me to go get them?"

"Please."

Liv goes back out to the waiting room, kneeling down in front of Jesse and Noah. "Mama's going to okay, but she got hurt and we need to very careful with her okay. She has some bruises that might look a little scary, but she's going to be fine. Do you guys want to go see her?"

They nod their heads and Olivia holds hands with them both and takes them to Amanda's hospital room. Reminding them right before they enter the room that they needed to be careful because Mama has a hurt side. The kids are cautious as they walk into the room. The blonde tries to smile, to reassure them that she's okay even though she looks like she isn't. She reaches out the arm that isn't cradling the baby towards the kids. Thought, they are both hesitant to move closer.

"C'mon guys. Mama's okay. In fact, I think she needs a big hug from both of you." Olivia says bending down to talk to the children. They take turns giving Amanda hugs and that seems to put them at ease.

Their visit is short. The kids are tired and cranky and need to go home and get some sleep. Amanda has to stay in the hospital until the morning. They want to keep her for observation because of the concussion. They'd be back in the morning to pick her up and take her home.

With Al being gone for good, one would think it would make the women feel better, more secure. And it did. But at the same time this made everything so uncertain and they would have a lot of decisions to make in the next couple of weeks. There was nothing holding them in Colorado. There would be no trial because Al was dead. At this point, the local police were attempting to figure out what involvement the marshals who were supposed to protect them had in Al finding them. Agent Perez may have tipped off Al to their location for a large sum of money. This made them feel violated. The person who was supposed to be protecting them was the one who put their family, their children at risk.

Now, Liv and Amanda needed to figure out several things. Like where they were going to live and what they were going to do for a living. Amanda had been getting ready to go back to work before this all happened. Only part time for now, but she felt ready to leave Asher for part of the day. That changed once Al came back into the picture. Olivia is pretty sure it's going to take months before Amanda isn't so worried that someone is going to take Asher in the middle of the night or the second, she takes her eyes off of him. And SVU might not be the best environment for her to be working in right now with her current headspace. Olivia herself didn't miss the job as much as she thought she would. They both liked the space they had in Colorado. The kids and Frannie had a nice big yard to run around in and they weren't all crammed into an apartment together.

But, living here had its drawbacks. Amanda and Olivia missed Fin and Carisi so much. The squad was their family. It upset the blonde every time she thought about the fact that her son would never get to meet his Uncle Sonny or Uncle Fin. They were both so important to her and she wanted them to have a role in the lives of her children.

No matter what they decided to do, they were in Colorado for the next couple of months. Noah only had 2 months of school and his baseball season left and it would be unfair to have him switch again in the middle of the school year.

Liv gets home with the kids and they all eat a small breakfast and then head to bed for a few hours of sleep. All piled into Olivia's bed because she wanted them as close as possible.

They pick up Amanda from the hospital that afternoon. And the rest of the day is quiet. Everyone is tired and drained from the events of the past couple of weeks. Liv and Amanda don't really get the chance to really talk until the kids are in bed that night.

They're sitting on the couch in their usual position. Amanda's head resting on her wife's chest. Liv breaks the silence. "You don't have to tell me what happened if you don't want to, but you should talk to someone. I know therapy isn't your thing, but I'd really like you to at least try it out. If it really doesn't work for you than I won't push the issue."

"I think I need to. It's something I should have done a long time ago. All of this as taught me that all the things that happened to me. During my childhood, in Atlanta, with Patton." She pauses. "With Esther. Everything that I thought I worked through. I haven't really worked through any of it. I've spent years burying it and hoping it would go away. But I guess I can't ignore if forever."

"I'm proud of you Amanda." Liv says leaning down and pressing a kiss to the crown of the younger woman's head.

Then, suddenly the blonde pops her head up to look Olivia in the eyes. "He didn't rape me. He didn't even try. I don't know what his plan was, but he didn't get that far. I know they probably already told you that, but if I was you, I would still be worried about it if I was you."

"I believe you."

The next few days are rough. Amanda barely sleeps. She wakes up several times a night from nightmares. Not all about Al. Liv can hear her mutter things like dad or Patton while tossing and turning. Olivia also isn't sleeping. She feels the need to watch her wife sleep to protect from the demons that grip her during the night.

Frannie hadn't left her owner's side since Amanda came home. Licking her face to wake her from nightmares, doing her best to comfort her during the panic attacks, and laying by her feet whenever possible.

They're back in the first house they were in when they moved. The one that they made their home. Liv's out leaving Amanda alone in the house for the first time. Of course, Asher and Jesse are there, but still the older woman helped to provide her a feeling of safety. But Noah had a therapy appointment and that was more important. The little boy was very nervous and clingy the past several days so they arranged an appointment for him as soon as possible.

Amanda is sitting on the floor in the living room playing with Asher and Jesse. Doing her best to stay busy. There's a knock on the door something that the blonde wasn't expecting. She picks up Asher and walks to the door and looks through the peephole to find Fin and Carisi standing on the other side.

"Hey. What are you guys going doing here?" The blonde says pulling open the door.

"Once they told us where you were, we had to come see you." Fin says hugging her. Carisi doing the same.

"Come on in. Jesse's in the living room." Jesse is very excited to see her uncles. Clamoring for attention from both. She grabs their hands trying to pull them down to the floor to play with her. Frannie is also wagging her tail and dancing around them trying to get some attention "Hey, Jesse. Mama needs to talk to Uncle Fin and Uncle Sonny for a little bit. Can you go into your room or the playroom for a little bit? I promise they'll play whatever you want in a little bit."

Jesse's reluctant, but agrees.

They sit on the couches in the living room and Fin nods to the baby Amanda is still holding. "Aren't you going to introduce us?"

Amanda smiles. "This is my son. Asher Oliver. He's just about 5 months old. Came a little early, but was completely healthy."

"You named him after Liv. Did you hear what happened? Some freak infection. They told us that you offered to take Noah." Carisi says shaking his head.

"Liv's not dead." Amanda says shocked that was the story the marshals decided to use. "We've been living here together."

The younger woman gets up and points out the pictures they have on the mantle. Evidence of the life they've lived together over the past several months. Pictures of them playing with the kids in the snow, on Christmas morning, Jesse and Noah holding Asher for the first time. But what she forgets about are the several pictures that show just how close they've gotten. Some are from their impromptu wedding Amanda kissing Olivia on the cheek with Jesse and Noah on either side. Others are from the day Asher was born. Liv cradling both Amanda and the baby who are sitting in between her legs. The one front in center is their favorite. It was taken at Olivia's company's Christmas party right before Asher was born. Liv had her arms wrapped around Amanda from behind, arms resting on her pregnant belly, chin on the other woman's shoulder. They're both beaming looking so incredibly happy.

Amanda didn't really care that the boys were going to know about her relationship with Liv. She was however planning to tell them directly rather than letting them find out on their own.

She was expecting them to be surprised not angry, but they both are. Carisi speaks first. "You mean all those months where we thought Liv was dead and we had no idea where you were or if you were even okay. You guys were here playing house."

"We weren't allowed to tell you guys anything. They snuck us out early one morning. We had no idea that you guys thought Olivia was dead."

"Were you guys together before you left New York?" Fin asks.

"No, they wanted as to pretend to be a couple while we were here and that lead to us admitting how we really felt I guess."

"Where's Liv?"

"Noah had an appointment with his therapist and Liv took him. They should be on their way back now. I'm sorry they told you that Liv died. If we knew that was the plan, we wouldn't have let that happen."

Carisi keeps looking over at the baby. "Do you want to hold him?"

"Yeah, of course. You sit I'll come to you." Carisi gets up, and grabs Asher. Sitting down and holding him so he can get a good look at the baby's face. He talks to him softly, bonding. It's a sight that warms Amanda's heart. Jesse is so close to Sonny and she wants her son to have the same bond.

"We heard what happened with Al. Are you feeling okay?" Fin asks.

"Physically, I'm okay. Emotionally, I've got a lot of work to do, but I'm getting help and I've got Liv."

"You guys aren't going to get all sappy on us or anything right?"

"No promises."

The front door opens and Olivia and Noah walk in. Stopping to take off their jackets before walking to the living room. Liv's in front and she's so focused on making sure that Amanda's okay she doesn't even know Fin and Carisi are there.

"Hey, baby. Everything okay while I was gone?" Olivia says while sitting down and leaning in to give Amanda a hello kiss. Fin clears his throat and she notices the guys sitting across from them.

They all spend some time catching up. That is until the kids start demanding the attention of their Uncles. The next several hours they're made to play every game Jesse and Noah can come up with, basically being pulled around the house. The kids talk their ears off. Having to tell them every little thing that happened since they saw them last.

Olivia loved Colorado, but their family was in New York and after seeing their kids with Fin and Carisi and they didn't want to deprive them from that any longer than they had to.