Things are going to get a little weird in this chapter. Kenny is going to attempt to play match maker and he's going to recruit Henrietta to help him. How is it going to work out? Will love bloom between Kyle's brother and the youngest goth? Let's see.

Chapter 10 – Stalking People on a Date

Besides Cartman being a dick, I felt like my little gathering went pretty well. Perhaps Henrietta's friends didn't hate me as much as before. Especially when compared to fatass.

The day after I had work at the thrift store again. I was literally buried in a pile of clothes when I heard someone come in. "I'll be right with you!" I called from under the pile. I managed to fight my way to the top and was quite surprised when I found Ike standing in front of me.

"Ike! What are you doing here?" I asked. A blush formed on the boy's face.

"Um, you're friends with the goths, right?" he wondered.

"Well, sort of," I replied, "Henrietta is my girlfriend, so I think they barely tolerate me."

"Oh. C-Cool," he said and fell silent. After a moment, I sighed.

"All right Ike, let me make this easy on you. I know you have a crush on Firkle," I told him. Ike looked up at me, bewildered.

"H-How did you find out?" he questioned.

"Come on, I'm not an idiot," I pointed out, "You keep asking about the goths. And I've noticed all the looks you've been giving him. Yesterday you kept trying to talk to him. It's really obvious." Ike's blush deepened.

"Is it really?" he asked, "I don't want the others at school to tease him just because I'm in lo- er, I have a crush on him. And believe me, Filmore is just the sort of asshole who would do that."

I smiled warmly at him fumbling over his words. "Don't worry, I think it's more obvious to older people than younger people," I told him. He let out a breath of air.

"That's a relief," he sighed, "I think Filmore is onto me already after I got into that fight with him. I guess I'm going to have to start defending everyone to hide it."

"What if you didn't have to hide it?" I said. Ike gave me a confused look.

"Huh? What do you mean?" he asked.

"Why don't you ask Firkle out on a date?" I suggested. Ike's eyes immediately widened in fear and he backed away.

"Oh, no, no, I could never do that," he mumbled, "I'm way too shy and besides, Firkle would never want to go out with someone like me." I cocked my head at him.

"What makes you think that?" I wondered.

Ike fiddled with his thumbs. "Well, you know," he muttered, "He's a goth. They don't like to be around anyone who's not like them. I'm cheerful and optimistic all the time. No goth would ever want to date someone like that."

I coughed loudly. "You sure about that?" I asked, cocking an eyebrow. Ike stared at me for a few moments before his eyes widened in realization.

"Oh! Yeah! You're dating a- Oh my God, I'm sorry!" he exclaimed, "I totally forgot!"

I couldn't help but smile at the distressed boy. "Don't worry about it," I said, "But anyway, you should give it some serious consideration. At least ask to be his friend. What have you got to lose?"

Ike looked down at the floor, still uncertain. "I don't know, Kenny," he mumbled, "I'm so scared. What if he's not even gay? What if he hates me for even trying to get near him?"

"You'll never know unless you try," I pointed out, "And if you don't try you'll regret it for the rest of your life."

Ike was silent as he stared at the ground. Then he looked up at me with a scared little look. "Will you help me?" he asked. I gave him a smile.

"Of course I will," I replied, "And I'm sure Kyle and Henrietta will help as well. Henrietta said that she thinks that Firkle has been looking a bit lonely lately."

"Yeah, I thought that as well," Ike said, "Whenever I see him at lunch he always looks so defeated and alone."

"So, why don't you ever go over and sit with him?" I wondered. Ike gave me a surprised and fearful look.

"I can't do that!" he exclaimed, "Don't you know how middle school works? You don't just suddenly switch tables in the middle of the year! That's social suicide!"

"Well, what's more important to you? Your social status or the boy you care most about?" I asked seriously. Ike looked down at the floor and sighed.

"You're right," he murmured, "If any of my friends abandon me because of it, well they weren't really my friends, were they?"

"Exactly," I replied, "And don't worry, I'll make sure Karen at least doesn't tease you. If she does she'll get a stern talking to."

After that I promised him I would talk to Henrietta about throwing around ideas on how to get him and Firkle together. When he left I thought I could finally get some work done, but no one likes to make my life easy.

Because a few minutes later Cartman came waddling in with a bucket of KFC. I don't know how he figured out where I work, because I never told him. I was putting clothes up on a rack when he came in.

"Hey, Kinny!" he greeted obnoxiously, "So this where you work, eh? Pretty fitting, actually."

I glared at him. "What do you want, Cartman?" I growled, "I'm a little busy right now."

"What? I can't just randomly stop by and check up on my best bud?" he asked as innocently as his slimy voice would allow. I rolled my eyes.

"We are definitely not 'best buds,'" I informed him, "I barely even like you." Cartman scoffed, as if he thought I was joking.

"Come on, Kenny," he said, taking a bite of chicken, "Don't be so serious all the time. Jeez, lighten up."

I sighed. "Seriously, Cartman, I'm working," I told him, "Unless you're buying something, get out."

"Yeah right," Cartman chuckled, "Like I would be caught dead in used clothes. I'm not poor like you."

I was about to make a biting retort when the little bell over the door jingled and someone else entered the store. I was going to be annoyed until I saw that it was Henrietta striding in with her small purse and a brown bag. I smiled brightly at her as Cartman scowled.

"What the hell are you doing here?" he hissed. Henrietta narrowed her eyes at him.

"I'm here to see my boyfriend, asshole," she growled, "I don't know what you're doing here, though. No one likes you."

Cartman pulled back his upper lip and snarled at her, bits of chicken still sticking in his teeth. Before he could say anything, though, I intervened. "Cartman, please leave! I'm busy!"

The fatass glared at both of us. "Fine," he grumbled, "But only because I want to. You need to keep that bitch in line, Kenny." Then he thankfully turned around and left the store before Henrietta could break his bones.

"I don't know why you hang out with him," Henrietta muttered once he was gone.

"Honestly, I don't know why I do either," I replied. But then I smiled at her. "But I'm glad you're here. Work is so dull without you here." She rolled her eyes at me.

"Cheese," she said, "By the way, I brought you lunch." My face lightened with joy.

"You're the best girlfriend ever!" I told her. She smirked at me.

"I know I am," she humbly said. I took the bag from her and opened it to observe its contents. There was a turkey and ham and cheese sandwich with mayo, along with an apple and a fresh carrot and celery stalk, a small packet of salted nuts, and a chocolate milk carton. I grinned at her.

"You know, if I didn't know any better, I'd say you were trying to get me to eat healthy!" I smirked, "You really are wonderful!"

"Aren't I though?"

"By the way," I started as I took out the sandwich from the plastic, "I figured out who Ike has a crush on."

"Oh yeah that was a thing," Henrietta mused, "Well, who is it?"

"Firkle." I paused for a moment to let that sink in. Her eyes widened with surprise but she said nothing. "I had my suspicions but I figured it out at the get together. Also Ike was in here a little while ago and I asked him."

"Well, there's that," Henrietta said.

"Yeah. I, uh, sort of promised we would help him get together with Firkle," I told her. She raised her eyebrow at me.

"You promised your friend's little brother that we would help him get a date with my friend?" she clarified, "Without running it by me first?"

"Sorry? But come on, don't you think they would make a cute couple? And you said that Firkle looked lonely. If nothing else they could become friends," I argued.

Henrietta sighed. "Yeah, I guess," she admitted, "At least I know Ike is a good kid. I wouldn't want some jerk trying to pull a prank on Firkle and leaving him heartbroken." She turned away and I could've sworn I heard her say "like me."

Trying to ignore that and the reminder of my own horrible guilt, I cleared my throat. "So, what's that plan?" I asked. She shrugged.

"I dunno. It was your idea. You think of something," she pointed out.

"That's fair." I put a hand to my chin and thought. "Ok, how about this? We get them to hang out at say Stark's Pond. We tell Ike it's a date but we tell Firkle that Ike just wanted to hang out and we spy on them and make sure everything goes well! What do you think?"

Henrietta stared at me with a blank "are you some sort of idiot?" kind of expression. "That's a horrible idea," she replied, "What if Ike acts all lovey-dovey or says 'date' at some point? Firkle will figure it out."

"Do you have a better idea?" I wondered. She stared at me for a very long moment.

…

"This is such a bad idea," Kyle muttered as he, Henrietta, and I carefully crouched behind some bushes, "I feel so bad about spying on my little brother while he's on his first date."

"You didn't have to come along you know, Kyle," I pointed out.

"And let you guys spy on my brother alone? Yeah right!" Kyle scoffed.

"Relax," Henrietta said, "Ike knows we're here, so we're technically only spying on Firkle. Kenny told him we'd be here to make sure everything went all right. Right, Kenny?"

I froze in my spot. Oh shit. I knew I had forgotten something. In addition to telling Ike that Firkle had accepted the "date," I was supposed to tell him we would be following them around in case he needed anything and also not make it actually seem like a date. I had done the first thing, but I hadn't done the second two things.

"Uh… sure I did," I said slowly. Kyle let out a hard sigh.

"You're such an idiot," he muttered.

Henrietta shushed us as we saw Ike and Firkle enter the park. We quickly ducked behind the bushes to watch them. Luckily today there were a few vendors in the park, like ice cream and snacks and other confectionaries so hopefully the two of them wouldn't be bored.

We watched as the two gradually made their way around the park, talking and occasionally laughing. They seemed to be getting along well! Maybe this plan could actually work! Ike didn't seem to be screwing up at least.

"You know, I thought this plan was crazy, but they might pull it off," Henrietta murmured as we moved to the next bush to get a better look, "Firkle actually kind of looks happy."

"See? I told you my plan was genius!" I bragged. My girlfriend rolled her eyes at me.

"Don't get on your high horse yet. This may still go wrong," she pointed out.

We continued to watch as the two shared a bag of popcorn together. Ike apparently told Firkle something really funny because he nearly choked with laughter. I smiled to myself. Something told me nothing was going to go wrong.

The sun was starting to set, bathing Stark's Pond in a brilliant wave of orange and red. We followed Ike and Firkle down a path towards the exit of the park. I noticed Ike's hand gently brushing against Firkle's, like he wanted to take it but was too nervous. The three of us carefully snuck closer so we could hear them.

"I had a really nice time today," Ike said, "I, um, wouldn't mind doing this again sometime." He was blushing.

"Yeah, I had a lot more fun than I thought I would," Firkle admitted, "I'm glad we did this. Especially since all of my friends were busy with something else today."

Ike smiled and I thought all was well. But then he screwed it all up. He leaned over and kissed Firkle on the cheek who's eyes widened and he turned to stone on the spot. I heard Kyle facepalm beside me. When Ike pulled away, Firkle was frozen for a moment more before he smacked Ike across the face, turned, and walked away.

"Damn it," I muttered.

"I knew this was going to happen," Henrietta sighed.

The three of us stood up from our hiding place. "Ike! Are you all right?" Kyle called to him. Ike didn't respond and simply stared after the goth, holding his face where he had been struck.

"I'm sorry, Ike, this is my fault," I explained, "I forgot to tell you that Firkle wouldn't know that it was a date and well… you know."

Ike looked at me with wide eyes. Then, without any warning, he took off running after the goth, shouting to him. We all watched him go.

…

"You know, I could've told you that it would go badly," Pete said the next day, "Firkle doesn't take lightly to changes or sudden actions. You have to approach him slowly."

Our two groups were sitting together at a picnic table near the school. Kyle, Henrietta, and I had just gotten done telling our friends what had happened with Ike and Firkle. I rolled my eyes at him.

"Yes, yes, Kenny is an idiot. Let's all make fun of his failure," I said sarcastically.

"Well, I make fun of you all the time, so this will be no different," Cartman pointed out. Stan nudged him hard in the side.

"I didn't even know Ike had a crush on Firkle," he said, "Poor kid. Probably ruined his chances forever."

"Hey guys!" greeted a peppy voice behind us. Startled, we all spun around and I nearly fell out of my seat in surprise.

Ike and Firkle were walking towards us holding hands. Ike had a wide grin on his face, while Firkle was as expressionless as ever. I had no idea what was going on here.

Apparently Kyle was just as baffled as I was. "Um, Ike? Are you guys… uh, ok?" he asked. Ike gave him a confused look.

"Of course. Why wouldn't I be?" he wondered. He gently squeezed Firkle's hand who squeezed it back.

"Come on, Ike," Firkle said, "I want to show you my pet tarantula."

"Oh boy!" Ike exclaimed happily, "See you later, Kyle!"

All of us watched, amazed, as the two of them walked off together. Then Henrietta smirked. "Well, I guess things went better than we thought," she mused.

It's been too long since I updated any of my South Park stories. I need to get back into it so I'm going to update this. I'm not quite sure what the next chapter is going to be about, but I am working on my other South Park fics. Don't worry about that. Writer's block can be a real bitch.