Chapter 6: Shock

The Fourth of July party was a lot of fun, especially if you weren't Maya. Many of the Matthews' friends and families came over, making it more than extremely difficult for Maya to catch Josh alone. Riley kept giving Maya the side eye every time they caught each other's gaze and Maya would shoot back her 'I'm trying here!' look.

People started trickling out around 9, and Maya thought maybe now she could grab Josh alone for a bit without everyone wondering where they had gone.

"Okay Josh, think we should head out?" Alan Matthews said to his youngest son as he patted him on the back. Maya's eyes went wide, she was going into a panic, she hadn't had the chance to grab Josh alone yet, he couldn't leave. What happened to staying?!

"Josh," Maya said trying to make her voice sound as calm as possible, but inside she was not sure what she was going to do if he left. She didn't want to tell him this news over the phone. "I thought you were staying."

He gave her a look that calmed her down, and then turned to his dad, "Hey Dad, if it's all right with Cory, can I stay here for a few weeks until they come down for Morgan's birthday?" He asked, squeezing Maya's hand.

"Really? I thought you and I when going to go on our annual fishing trip next week," his father replied, a disappointed glaze over his eyes.

"Can we go after Morgan's birthday?" Josh negotiated, he didn't want to miss their father-son bonding trip, but he didn't see why it couldn't wait a couple of weeks. He hadn't seen his girlfriend in over a month and he really missed spending quality time with her.

"Well, I guess, I suppose so," Alan replied though anyone could tell he was less than pleased.

"Hey Cor, is it okay if I crash on the couch for a few weeks?" Josh called over to his brother who was on the other side of the rooftop talking to Shawn.

"Sure?" Cory replied, though he didn't quite know what he was agreeing to, he usually didn't.

Maya breathed a sigh of relief, she would have time to tell him and then extra time with him to figure it all out.

"Thanks!" Josh called out and then turned to his dad. "Thanks for postponing our trip Dad, I wouldn't want to miss it entirely." He gave Alan a hug, and then his mom.

"Bye sweetie, I guess we'll see you in a few weeks." Amy said. Then the eldest Matthews couple left, leaving only Cory, Topanga Shawn, Katy, Jooh, Maya, Riley, Lucas, Auggie and Ava.

An hour later it was only Maya, Josh, Riley, and Lucas left on the roof. Riley saw this as chance to leave Maya and Josh alone. "Hey Lucas, can you come inside with me? I want to change out of these party clothes, and then maybe we can go to a movie or something," and before he could answer Riley grabbed Lucas' hand and they disappeared down the stairwell.

"Finally we are alone," Josh moved closer to Maya on the bench when they were seated. He placed a soft kiss on her lips. Maya could feel the tears starting to form on her eyes, but held it together as best she could.

"I've missed you so much," Maya said, kissing him again, taking in every moment of his happiness before she destroyed it with her news. But maybe he wouldn't take it so bad, it wasn't like they had one night stand or anything—they were in love. Yes, Maya told herself, everything would be okay. They could figure this out together.

"I've missed you too. All I've been thinking about the past month was your smile and the look you had on your face when I touched you in a certain way." Josh winked, Maya blushed, she couldn't stop thinking about the way he had touched her either.

"Josh," Maya said, trying to get his full attention, but that was difficult because he kept kissing her everywhere, on the lips, forehead, neck. It was taking all of Maya's energy to stay focused and not give into the temptation to put this off any longer.

"Josh," she said again, louder, stronger. He stopped kissing her neck and looked into her eyes.

"What is it Maya?" he looked at her in deep concern.

"Well—" Maya began, but she lost the courage in that moment. "Just kiss me some more."

"Okay?" He was slightly confused with how she was acting but he went back to kissing her. He ran his hands down her body, slipping his hand under her skirt. Maya inhaled sharply when his hand rested against her panties, her desire for him already pooling.

No, she thought, she couldn't do this when she was harboring this big secret from him. "Wait," she said.

He removed his hand from under her skirt, "what's going on Maya, you seem distracted."

"I just, this is hard to, I mean," she was stammering, looking for the right words to say. "Josh I'm—" but she was interrupted by the loud noise of the door to the stairwell slamming open.

Cory came rushing through. As he moved closer to the bench Maya could see that he was crying.

"Cory, what's wrong?" Josh got up from the bench and approached his brother.

"Mom, Dad, they—" he let out a choked sob.

"What about them— they— Cory, they just left a little while ago," Josh said.

"They've been in a car accident." Maya covered her mouth in shock. No, this couldn't be happening. They had just been here, they had been fine.

"Are they okay?" Josh asked, panic laced in his words.

"They think Dad had a heart attack while he was driving, the car flipped. Both mom and dad are alive, but in critical condition. We have to go," Cory hugged his brother.

Josh was in shock. He wasn't crying, he wasn't speaking, he was just standing there next to his brother in complete silence.

"Josh?" Maya said quietly, tears running down her face. She touched his shoulder gently, and this seemed to wake him from his reverie. Wordlessly he shrugged away Maya's hand on his shoulder, took her hand and they followed his brother down the stairs.

The Matthews were all piling into the car when they made it outside. Riley was standing just outside the car with Lucas locked in an embrace. Riley was obviously crying her whole body was shaking.

Josh turned, kissed her on the lips, and gave her a hug, but it still didn't seem like he was all there. He released her and got into the passenger seat of the car, staring off into the distance.

Maya went over to Riley and Lucas and tapped her friend on the shoulder. Riley switched from hugging Lucas to hugging Maya,

"Oh Peaches," she cried into her shoulder.

"Shhh," Maya held her tightly, unable to think of anything comforting to say.

Riley pulled away wiping tears from her cheeks. "Did you tell him?" she whispered.

Maya almost didn't remember what she was talking about, oh right, she was pregnant. "No," she replied.

Riley nodded in understanding. She gave her friend one last hug and got in the car squishing in the back seat with her dad and Auggie. Maya went back over to the front passenger window and knocked lightly. Josh rolled the window down.

"I'm sorry Josh," Maya said, her tears beginning to flow again.

Josh reached out and grabbed her hand. "I love you. I'll call you when we know anything."

"I love you too." Maya squeezed Josh's hand and Topanga gave her a sad look as they started driving away. Maya was shocked that Josh wasn't more of a mess, but maybe what happened hadn't sunk in yet. Maybe she was more of a mess because of hormones or something, who knew. But what Maya did know was that she didn't tell him what she had meant to and now she didn't know when the next time she was going to have the chance. It didn't seem like a great phone conversation to have while both of his parents were in the hospital.

Lucas approached Maya and put his arm around her, and that's all it took for Maya to completely breakdown sobbing.

A few worrying hours later Maya's phone rang. She looked over to Lucas who encouraged her to answer the phone. She put down her carton of ice cream and spoon and answered the call, "Josh?" she answered it expecting to hear her boyfriend's voice on the other end of the line.

"Hey Maya," it was Riley.

"How's your grandpa?" Maya asked.

"He's stable, but unconscious."

"Your grandma?"

"Awake, a few broken bones, but she's okay."

Maya let out a sigh of relief, no one was dead or dying it seemed, "How's Josh?"

"Not great. I think he's feeling guilty." Riley hesitated.

"Why would he feel guilty?" suddenly there was a pit in her stomach.

"Because he wasn't driving," Riley answered quietly, "because he would have been if he had gone home with them like they wanted."

"But its not his fault, he has to know that," Maya's tears were free flowing again.

"I know, he'll know, but for now he's beating himself up over it," Riley paused.

"Can I talk to him?" Maya asked.

"Yeah, I'll go get him, but Maya," Riley hesitated again.

"What Riley?"

"Maybe you shouldn't tell him just yet?"

"I mean I wasn't going to tell him on the phone. But I was thinking if I can get off work I can come down and I—"

"Maya. I don't think you should tell him until things settle down. He's pretty overwhelmed already. He had a panic attack in the waiting room earlier. Maybe just wait a while."

Maya bit her lip, couldn't believe what she was hearing. Her always honest, to the point of being hurtfully truthfull friend was telling her to lie to her boyfriend about something so life changing. But maybe Riley knew what was best for her family. "You really think that would be best?" she choked out the words catching in her throat.

"For now, I'm sorry."

"Okay."

"Oh here's Josh," Riley said. Maya heard the phone change hands.

"Maya," Josh said. Even over the phone Maya could tell he was hurting and she wanted so badly to be there for him in the best way she possibly could, so maybe Riley was right. Maybe sheltering him from this life changing news would be what's best for the time being, however much it hurt her.

"Josh," she replied, "what can I do?"

"Just sit on the phone with me. Sing me a song, I just need to hear your voice." He sounded so broken, and it hurt Maya's heart to hear him this way. She would de anything for him.

"What song?" She wiped the tears from her cheeks and tried to sound normal.

"Just...something. Your voice always makes me feel better."

"Okay..." then she started to sing the first song she could think of, "Blackbird singing in the dead of night... take these broken wings and learn to fly..."

And the whole time she was singing she could hear home crying softly and all Maya wished she could do was hold him to make him feel better.

A / N: I am so so so so sorry it this took so long to update, life got in the way.br /

Please don't hate me too much with this chapter, next chapter will take place over a larger amount of time... Every story needs a little drama, right?br /

JOSHAYA moments in this story are not over though—there will be more. This chapter was really difficult for me to write, which is part of the reason it took so long.

Oh, and the song is Blackbird by The Beatles.