"I really am terribly sorry that it's come to this. Normally we would never engage in this kind of action, bad form, terribly rude. I'm sure I speak not only for myself, but for all the minds of the culture when I say this really is out of the ordinary. We'll just get this sorted out and leave you to your ways as soon as we have done our best to resolve this situation!"

The Kaildriath was a sovereign-class capital ship belonging to the species known by organics as 'reapers'. It had lived for many cycles now, more than most reapers anyway. It had seen destruction, war rampage, the entire breadth of depravity of organics, but it had never been surprised in its many years. The harvest was meant to be predictable, that was the point of the mass relays, every few thousand years they came and progressed predictably.

Mass relays either accelerated a civilization's understanding of element zero or gave them the necessary push to base their tech off of it. While it would normally take them much longer to fully realize the potential of mass effect technology, the reapers left enough clues for the organics to skip the normal requisite technologies and immediately begin abusing the power of element zero. This meant they developed along a consistent path. A path worn again and again by previous civilizations. Always stopping just short of creating their own true AI's and never developing the tech to truly end the cycle. That was why the Kaildriath found being interrupted not only surprising, but was surprised that it could be surprised at all.

Interrupted of course was an understatement. One moment it was entering the atmosphere of Thessia, as directed by Harbinger, the next it found itself completely immobilized and unable to access it's primary weapons. While an artificial mind couldn't really feel panic in the same sense as organics, it certainly had experienced a convincing approximation. It wasn't an internal failure, an immediate diagnostics test had confirmed that, rather it felt as though it had been locked in cement by external forces. Floating awkwardly in Thessia's atmosphere like a whale beached in the sky.

It had immediately reached out to the greater network of reaper minds. Fortunately it could still contact all of them. Unfortunately all the reapers on or near Thessia were experiencing the same problem, yet none had an explanation.

Then that damned voice had been transmitted to the fleet. Some infuriatingly polite, organic sounding voice had introduced itself as the 'Need a resupply of Gravitas' and explained that it was something called an 'Abominator class general offensive unit'. Not that this meant anything to the collected reapers. It was certainly artificial, communication occurred with amazingly quick speeds, even by the standards of AI. That it was also managing to transmit this information at such speeds at a distance was even more impressive.

The reapers assumed it was at a distance anyway, they could find no visual, radiological, or mass effect confirmation of the ship's presence. Just their complete inability to move or use their weapons.

Another transmission was incoming. The Kaildriath listened in.

"Look I really do feel bad, we normally try to be bit more subtle about this kind of thing but seeing as you were about to do something truly awful we thought it best to step in. Here, I'll loosen up my fields and let move around if you promise to stop massacring those funny blue creatures on the planet below. Could you agree to that for me? Please?"

It sounded like an organic adult negotiating with children.

Anger wasn't something reapers normally felt, atleast not the same way an organic did, but the Kaildriath's internal routines and subroutines were doing there best impression of the emotion. It reached out to the network of reaper minds. The reaper network was normally well organized and efficient, communication was expedient and clear, they hadn't conquered the galaxy multiple times by failing to communicate. Now however, it was chaos. Opinions raged back and forth as they desperately sought some form of consensus. The reapers weren't used to being weak. While the message they had received was phrased as a request they were very much at the mercy of the 'Need a resupply of Gravitas' whatever that was.

"You know you can talk to me. I understand this situation is a bit difficult, falling outside the normal moral constraints and what-not, but we really can be civil about this. Just come on up outside the planet and let's talk about this like reasonable, civilised minds. Okay?"

It sounded almost amused now. The Kaildriath signaled back.

"WHAT ARE YOU?"

Trying to sound as imposing as one could be given the circumstances.

The response came instantly.

"I am an Abominator class general offensive unit representing the special circumstances division of contact, the branch of the Culture oriented towards working with other cultures. Pleased to meet you! Now if you could just come up outside the planet's atmosphere I'm sure we can all work this out!"