Author's Blah-Blah: Hi! Um, another 'funny' fic for you AxI fans ^_^ I am still considering if I should continue my "Me Gustas Cuando Callas", so I took a break from that fic and decided to make another one. I actually wasn't supposed to make this but a recent summer thing inspired me to do so. Don't worry this is just a two to three part humor fic and I might able to finish it in a week or two weeks time since I still have a few weeks left before my summer class. The update of this fic also depends if you guys demand it or not *wink-wink*
Hace Calor (Part One)
Integra for the nth time fidgeted on the bed as she tried to sit as comfortable as possible.
She couldn't.
She stood up and tried helpless to gain control over her dilemma. The blonde let out a hiss as she pulled the tight leather skirt further down into her knees, but the stubborn material shortened once again to its original length that was 3 inches above her knee. It showed how lovely and long her legs were.
She was sweating from the effort of tugging that stupid skirt that she just had to tie her hair up and when she lifted her arms to gather her long silken strands the tight blue t-shirt she wore rode up high on the mid-section of her tummy to once again reveal more of that creamy skin of hers.
Gritting her teeth, she dropped her hands back to her sides and faced a very amused Alucard sitting on a chair opposite of her bed. She had tried her very best to ignore him but the sounds that he had been emitting pushed her to finally acknowledge his unwelcome presence.
"I take you are enjoying yourself?" She asked in a clipped tone.
Red eyes shone with delight, "Of course I am. Then with a wink he added, "Especially now that I am seeing more than what I used to."
The vampire was having the time of his life seeing Integra in very close-fitting and short garments that practically exuded her femininity. He was also very entertained to see her battle out with herself as she tried to sit and walk around wearing Ceras' normal daywear clothes.
Integra felt her anger reigning over her but through the Anger Management Book she read out of boredom, she just sighed and massaged her aching temples. If it wasn't so hot in this country and if she was wearing her normal clothes then maybe she would probably be out just to be rid of Alucard and his minions even for some measly minutes.
She tried to assess her situation logically: Out of the country for a mission to eliminate some damn FREAKS. Out here in a foreign, tropical and obviously hot country with nothing to wear save for Ceras ill-fitting clothes. Out here in a foreign country, hot and irritated with the gruesome trio born to make a living hell out of my life. Out of the country and I am aching to go back home. Oh yeah, this surely is an interesting trip.
Deciding that evaluating her situation wasn't helping her at all she just glared the other way so as just not to meet Alucard's intimidating gaze she caught her own reflection on a dressing table and winced. Right then and there, her very own image doubled up the persistent ache throbbing on her head.
"I look stupid. I look like an over-grown Ceras. I look like an Amazon woman wearing modern skimpy clothes," She hissed under her breath as she tried uselessly to once again lengthen Ceras' 'shrunken clothes'.
Walter who was busy loading more of Integra's things in her hotel room stifled laughter. Integra looked fiercely at him and warned, "Walter, keep your amusement to yourself or else you'll be sorry you ever met me."
The Hellsing Steward tried to reason with her, "But Integra-sama, I don't see why you look so shattered just wearing some normal clothes for a change."
Integra in rage threw a pillow straight into Walter's dignified expression, "You planned this didn't you? You deliberately left my suitcase so that I having no other choice would borrow from Ceras."
Alucard guffawed clutching his stomach obviously finding this utterly entertaining. Integra shot him a venomous gaze and continued to berate the man for his schemes.
She stood up and cruelly pointed a finger on Walter's well-puffed chest. "Walter, shame on you! Just look at the mess that I am in right now. Look at me I look like a … like a…transvestite! These clothes aren't for me. I stopped wearing skirts a long time ago. I don't wear skimpy tops that constrict my chest from breathing properly and most of all I don't wear skirts meant for panty peeks! And! Maybe it wasn't even an accident when Ceras by mistake spilled a whole pitcher of orange juice on my suit!!! " And with that said she sat back on the bed pulling her knees close together with her arms crossed over her chest.
Walter patiently went to her and bowed, "I am sorry Integra-sama for being irresponsible. It wasn't really my intention to forget your luggage. Perhaps we can accompany you to a shop to buy some new clothes."
Blue eyes widened, "With me wearing this? You must be kidding."
Alucard snickered once more earning himself a bedroom slipper thrown in his direction. He caught in mid-air and gave his master a nasty wink but not before letting his hungry eyes roam on her exposed flesh.
The Hellsing leader felt heat crept up to her cheeks. She was on the verge of loosing control over her emotions but still she tried to be rational and calm. Swallowing heaps of curses she wanted to throw to the gruesome trio (Alucard, Ceras and Walter) she just spoke, "The suit that Ceras ruined, is it already washed? I do want t change my clothes now."
A wave of gloom passed over Walter's face. "Stained, Integra-sama. Your suit is beyond repair or any strong detergent."
Liar, Integra thought.
Walter still bowed added, "But then, it's a blessing after all. Your clothes, the ones we left aren't meant for a tropical country such as the place that we are in right now."
Integra now with a killer headache decided it was wise not to argue with any of them at all. For now, she'll let them have their way but tomorrow when her headache's gone she'll have the three of them lined up all for the heavenly experience of having living targets for her shooting practice.
"Walter, thanks for taking care of my things, you are dismissed now."
The old man smiled up to her and before he could utter one more degrading comments about how she ladylike she was wearing Ceras clothes she hushed him with the hazardous sound of her gun clicking.
Walter went out of her room in a flash.
Integra sighed hearing the door closed behind him. She was ready to order herself some ice cream to somehow relieve her from the heat she wasn't accustomed to when-
"Now, what do we now?" Alucard asked all of a sudden.
Integra visibly groaned, she realized that there's one more problem other than her lack of clothes and annoying summer heat and its Alucard. From the look in his eyes, Integra could tell that Alucard planned on staying with her alone in her hotel room and would probably make up some stupid and lame excuses so as nor to leave her side.
Oh, please someone save me from him, were Integra's last thoughts before Alucard's figure loomed over her.
TBC
Author's Blah2: My nose is running while I am typing this. I want coffee but if I drink one more cup I swear I'll be a walking zombie once again and mom would probably berate me nonstop for that.
Oh, about that summer thing that inspired me to write this, the story is about my crush and me and it was something like this:
One day my crush and I were just sitting by the pool when he invited me to swim but me afraid of getting sun-burned declined.
My Crush: Come on, you really look like a vampire now. Have some color on your skin. Be normal and swim like normal people do during summertime.
Me: No, I refuse.
My Crush: Ok *strips in front of my very eyes starting with his shirt*
Me: *hyperventilates*
My Crush: *takes off his long short pants to reveal well another short pants but skimpier and tighter*
Me: *nosebleeds*
My Crush: *plunges into the water come out for air and waves for me to join him*
Me: No, I won't give in to temptation. Weak-willed people hurt God.
My Crush: Come on, if you drown I'll mouth to mouth you or something.
Me: *passes out from sheer ecstasy*
Haha! Stupid story. Ok, so I am going now. I am off to kill some vermin for supper but before that, please review and please let me know if you want me to update some forgotten fic. I only have half a brain and two hands I tend to forget things. Yeah, I do. ^_^