Someone requested that I write a story where Deeks' father comes back into the picture and I thought that it would be the perfect way to finish my 'Deeks Backstory' series. If you've read the other two (Learning the Nightmare and Roundabout) then you know this is not a happy topic so please

READ THE WARNINGS! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!

Warning: Child Abuse, Sexual abuse of a child, Sexual abuse of an adult, mental abuse of a child, Mental abuse of an adult, Physical abuse of a child, Physical abuse of an adult, victim blaming, Stockholm Syndrome. Happy/hopeful ending! More might be added as the story progresses.

If you want to be kept up to date with any upcoming stories or want to ask me to write a story for you please follow me on Facebook or on Tumblr under SilverMidnight52! I own nothing.

A tired sigh fell from Deeks lips as he dropped onto the couch feeling more exhausted than he had in awhile. Nate had put him through the wringer during their session that day. Something he wasn't sure he hated or was grateful for.

It had been a little over a month since he had told the psychologist about the abuse he had dealt with as a child. It felt as if that should be a long time and things should have changed, but he still felt the same way he had before.

For the longest time he had just dealt with everything that was going on around him. He didn't really have a say in the matter. In his mind there was nothing he could do to stop the nightmares or his feelings. So he pushed them away as best he could.

Yes, he knew that doing so had not been one of his best plans, but it was the only thing that he could think of. It wasn't as if there were people around that would willingly help him try to figure out the mess that was his brain.

Ray had done a lot when he was around. He talked Deeks through more nightmares than he cared to think about, both when he was awake and when he was asleep. Still, every time he opened his mouth to try to tell his best friend about things that happened he could just see the look of horror in his eyes. He never wanted to be the cause of that look again. Especially when he was doing it to someone he cared about.

So he never told the man everything in full. It wasn't as if he would understand what happened anyway. His father was an asshole that beat him so badly that he was sent to the hospital more than once.

Deeks Daddy was- No, not his Daddy, his father. He had to remember to start calling the man his father. Nate thought it might help him move on a little more if he was able to put that little name away for good.

It was a lot harder than he thought it would be to let go. All of this was a lot harder than he thought it would be. The man had been dead for twenty years there was nothing left for him to hold on to anymore.

Yet that was exactly what he was doing. He was holding onto this highly perverted image of a man that he was never going to see again. Nate had explained to him why he was doing that, but he hadn't been able to bring himself to care about the reasoning. All he wanted to do was let go of it all and move on with his life.

A life that was actually going pretty well at the moment. It was a little shocking. When he had told Callen about his past and then had to do it all over again with Nate he had thought that he was about to reach the end of his rope.

Between the two of them though he felt okay. It was as if he had a safety net between him and his past. That was not something that he'd ever thought he'd get, but it was a nice feeling that he never wanted to lose.

With Nate it was easy to say that unless the man ended up being killed he was going to be there for Deeks. Alright, so that was something that the older man had repeated to him more than a few times during their discussions. Apparently Deeks had abandonment issues.

It was harder with Callen though. The man had quickly become someone that Deeks was extremely close to. It was actually safe to say that the agent had become a little protective of him since he found everything out.

They had become closer than Deeks had ever thought they'd be and for that he was glad. He liked having the other man in his life and as long as he could that was exactly what he wanted. At least that's what he wanted to tell himself.

For the first time in a long time he was actually starting to feel something for someone else. For the longest time he had thought that he'd only ever have eyes for… No, he had to move on from those thoughts and forget about the man that had abused him. Gordon John Brandel couldn't mean anything to him anymore. He had to move on and forget.

It was a good thing that he had a small crush on Callen. Right? He was finally moving on from everything that had happened and was ready to start having a normal relationship. Okay, that might be a little too far.

Yes, he was attracted to Callen, but the idea of being with the man was one that made his stomach twist. It was such an odd thought. It wasn't as if he was a virgin. He had plenty of sex with both men and women. He wasn't opposed to it.

With Callen though it was different. The man knew who he was. He even knew his darkest secret. That was something that he had never had with another person. Maybe… Maybe it was time. Maybe he could be happy.

Not that he was anywhere near ready to say it out loud. He wasn't anywhere near being okay and he knew it. Being attracted to one person that knew him might be a good sign, but that didn't mean everything was fine.

Still, that didn't stop him from feeling it. It could take awhile before he was willing to say anything, but he was perfectly content waiting for the right time. Or not saying it at all. As long as he was finally moving on he was okay.

"Well, don't you look so happy," a low voice teased from behind him causing him to jump to his feet while pulling his gun out.

Narrowing his eyes at the man leaning against the wall Deeks felt his heart start to pound in his chest. He looked so familiar, but he couldn't figure out where he knew him from. Even without that though he knew that it was a good idea to be wary of the man. Maybe even afraid.

"Who are you?" Deeks demanded aiming his gun at the man's chest.

"Really, Martin?" the man sighed shaking his head before pushing off of the wall and starting towards him, "Have you really forgotten how much I hate when you're disrespectful?"

"I… Daddy?"

"Hello, baby."

Deeks felt as if he couldn't breathe as he watched the man he thought was dead walk. For a moment he was a child once more. All he could do was stand there and wait for the man to do whatever it was that he wanted to do.

A twisted smirk played over the Gordon's lips as he stopped in front of the detective. Deeks felt himself shaking as his father reached out and took the gun from his hands. Once it was down a hand came up to strike his cheek causing him to stumble backwards at the force.

"I know it's been awhile," Gordon offered with a dark chuckle, "But you really should know better than to be such a disappointment."

"You're supposed to be dead," Deeks muttered his eyes darting around unseeingly as his mind attempted to catch up.

"No, not dead. Just biding my time until I can get back what's mine."

"Yours? What's yours?"

A growl echoing from the man was the only warning Deeks got before he was being rammed into a wall. Gordon was right in his face looking so angry. Every instinct in Deeks was yelling at him to drop to his knees and beg for forgiveness.

"I don't care how long it's been," Gordon gritted out his hand coming up to wrap around his throat, "You better not have forgotten where you place is. Or is this one of your games? Did you miss me too, Martin? Do I need to remind you of your place?"

Deeks eyes went wide when he heard that. He should have known exactly what the man was after, but he wasn't thinking. All he could hear was Hetty saying that the man was dead and both Callen and Nate telling him that he was safe now. How could they have been so wrong?

A voice, sounding so much like Callen, told him that he was a cop now. He was the one that was in control. All he had to do was stand up and fight. But he couldn't bring himself to move even as the hand tightened making it harder and harder to breathe.

"You do remember how I used to do that," Gordon smirked moving closer so he was completely pinned to the wall, "Right, Martin?"

"S-Stop," Deeks tried to say the words getting caught in his throat.

"That didn't work when you were a kid and it sure as hell won't work now. Especially after everything you did to me. No, you don't get to tell me what to do."

Gordon let go of his neck a moment later causing him to crumble to the floor. Coughing harshly he looked up at the older man trying to figure out what he was supposed to be feeling seeing him again after everything that happened.

He had been spending so much time with Nate trying to get his mind back on track. The psychologist said that he was making great progress and that one day he'd finally be free from the hold Gordon had over him.

Looking up at the man though that was the last thing he felt. His head was screaming at him to fight back and take him down for good even has his heart told him that his Daddy was home and everything was going to be okay.

No, that wasn't his heart. That was the conditioning that he had been raised with. There was only one option for him. He had to end the whole thing before it got any further. He was a detective for LAPD for heaven's sake. It was time for him to act like it.

"Oh look at that," his father laughed before kneeling in front of him, "There's some fight in you. That's new."

"I'm not him anymore," Deeks denied finally finding his voice though it sounded weak, "I'm not a child. You don't scare me anymore."

"Scare you? I never scared you. No, I loved you, baby boy."

"I'm your son. You were never supposed to..."

"But I did. Oh, Martin, you were made by me for me."

"Stop it! I'm not going to fall back to that. I'm not going to believe the lies. You molested me, you raped me, and you are going back to jail where you belong!"

Another laugh rang out through his house making him tense. Gordon didn't sound like he was afraid at all. It was as if he was expecting the detective to act the way he was. It was almost as if he had a plan.

"Martin," Gordon shook his head, "So naive to think you have any control. No, you're going to do exactly as I say and do you know why?"

"I won't..." Deeks tried to start only for the older man to level a glare at him.

"You'll listen to me because I'm your Daddy and I know what's best for my baby boy. And what's best is for him not to see that man again. What's his name? Oh, that's right. Nate Getz."

Horror filled Deeks when he heard his father say Nate's name. The man was an agent that worked undercover. It made absolutely no sense for him to even know who the man was. He could only know if…

"You've been watching me," Deeks muttered eyes dropping to the ground.

"For a very long time," Gordon cooed amusement clear in his voice, "Ever since I got out really. It took me awhile to find you, but once I did I never let you out of my sight. I did promise the men that helped me get out that I'd do that. You'd be surprised how many people want to put Detective Martin Deeks in his place. They might have different definitions of where your place is though. I think they just want you dead. I want you to be mine and mine alone. Just like old times."

For a moment Deeks didn't say anything. His mind was working a mile a minute and none of it made any sense. What was he supposed to be feeling? Was he supposed to know? Or… There had to be some answer. Right?

Before too much time passed a hand shot out to grip his jaw before directing his face so he was staring into blue eyes that mirrored his own. He hated how much he looked like his father while at the same time knowing that the man loved it.

The grip softened slightly while Gordon's thumb ran over his cheek. He took a shaky breath as the man smiled in what was supposed to be a comforting way though all it did was make him squirm not knowing if he was trying to get away or get closer.

For a moment they two of them sat there in silence. Without realizing it tears began to drip down his cheeks as his father smiled. His eyes fell shut a moment later as Gordon leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his lips.

"That's right, my love," Gordon muttered pulling away, "Such a good boy for me. Always a good boy for Daddy, right?"

"N-No," Deeks stuttered hating the all too familiar shame and helplessness fill him even as he leaned closer.

"No what?"

"No, Daddy."

"There's my good boy. Now, what was I saying? Oh yes. I was explaining how I got out. You've angered a lot of people in jail. Once I told them a few things that might not have been truthful they were more than willing to help me fake my death. They seemed to think that I would hurt my baby boy. I would never hurt you, Martin."

Clenching his hands into fists Deeks let his head drop once more. The voice in his head once again screamed at him to fight back and end it for good. They were all alone and he was an escaped prisoner. No one would question him if the man ended up dead.

He couldn't though. Not when he wasn't sure exactly what the man had planned. If he had waited this long between getting out and coming to find him then there was something going on. There had to be something.

No, he wasn't stalling in taking his Daddy down. The man wasn't a good person. He deserved to be in jail for hurting him. Just like Deeks deserved to be free and able to move on with a normal, happy life.

Still, he couldn't move. He wasn't ready for any of this. He thought that he could do it when the man was dead, but having him in front of him the way he was. It was just too much and all he wanted was to be able to talk to Nate or Callen.

"Look at me, Martin," Gordon demanded softly.

Without a second thought Deeks lifted his head and stared into his father's eyes. They looked so calm and full of want. It was a look he had grown up seeing. One that used to promise a long night and he found himself scared of what was happening though he still didn't fight.

"There's my good boy," Gordon praised pulling both of them to their feet, "You like being my good boy, right, Martin?"

"Yes, Daddy," Deeks answered before he could think better.

"Good. Then you'll do exactly what I say. Right?"

"Yes, Daddy."

"Wonderful. Now, show me where your room is. I think it's time for bed."