"/I am not actually your zanpakuto./" - Zanpakuto talking outside.

:But I'm still a better father than Isshin.: - Zanpakuto talking inside.

It was still dark when Ichigo returned home, his sisters in his arms. He said brief goodbyes to his friends, told them to go home and sleep. We'll catch up tomorrow, he said. Ichigo goes through all the motions automatically. Wake the girls briefly to change into pajamas, soothe their confused and panicked reactions and tuck them all beneath the covers. He brushes a kiss over their foreheads and heads to his own room.

The moon is shining through his window. The world lives again. His vision grays out and sounds fades until all he hears is the faint ringing of bells.

Ichigo is sitting on his bedroom floor, shaking uncontrollably at the familiar soothing voice of Old Man Zangetsu echoing in the no longer empty abyss of his soul. His eyes were wet and with a flare of reiatsu he had given up hope would ever be returned (it was though, it was) the Old Man manifested by his side in a rustle of constantly shifting fabric. The noise he made wasn't quite a sob, more of a sound of overwhelming relief as thin arms wrapped about his shoulders and drew him into Zangetsu's darkly red cloak.

"/ Ichigo./"

His hands were fisted in the flowing material, his face buried in the hollow of the Old Man's shoulder and he could do nothing but tremble and gasp for breath, unable to even voice the complicated surges of emotion he felt.

After a moment or two, of Zangetsu holding onto him just as tightly as he was, Ichigo managed to speak around the lump in his throat.

"I'm sorry. Zangetsu, I'm so sorry. " His voice was hoarse and faint, but apparently loud enough for his zanpakuto to hear.

The arms around him clenched briefly, before a hand slid into his hair and lightly tugged. Ichigo resisted for a moment, drawing a deep breath, before lifting his gaze to meet the equally wet eyes of Zangetsu.

"/ All I wanted, Ichigo, was to protect you,/" the old man says like it hurts , as amber eyes slide shut and the zanpakuto leans forward to rest his forehead against his wielder. "/I failed you, Ichigo, I failed to protect you. /".

Ichigo tries to say something, anything along the lines of ' my choice, my decision' but the words won't come even as more tears slip over his cheeks. Zangetsu is crying, silently and with barely a hitch in his breath, but he's crying all the same. Emotion bleeds into the air, saturated by his newly restored reiatsu. He can feel-

It's too much. It's all too much. It's as if someone is exerting an enormous amount of reiatsu around him because it's getting harder to breath. All of this- it's too much.

Zangetsu pulls him as close as he physically can get, half crouched over him as if to physically shield his wielder from anything that would threaten him, even as the sounds of wheezing breaths fill the room. Ichigo is pressed farther into the warmth that is provided, into the comfort that the old man provides without hesitation. His thoughts run in circles, the crimson of blood, the blue of the blade that skewered his chest, the green of a Fullbringer's power- memories front and center in his mind.

Seventeen months in which goat-face ignored every hint of something other than their normal lives, normal routine. Seventeen months in which his friends altered between sticking close, making sure he wasn't alone, and disappearing for weeks on end only to slowly return to his side. Seventeen months in which not a single Shinigami could find a simple gigai to drop by for a visit. Not Urahara-san, not Rukia, Renji- no one.

Then suddenly, there's Ginjo and Xcution and things were happening again and Ishida- Uryuu was cut down and Ichigo couldn't do anything. He should have seen it. He should have known . It was all a trap, for someone else to take one more thing from him and then-

And then-

Tsukishima.

The manipulation of almost everyone's memories. Chad. Tatsuki. Orihime, Yuzu, Karin. And then the sword in his chest and goat-face and Urahara-san standing by. Getaboushi wouldn't meet his eyes. He recognized the guilt on his face, in the way he stood and how his hat cast shadows over his eyes.

Goat-face had stared at him, expression as serious as it had been that fateful day. He was clad in a shihakusho, Shinigami , like he had any right to be there, like he belonged there . Another betrayal, more lies, omissions and secrets no one thinks necessary to share.

That's when something within him breaks, quietly and so easily it barely registers as something else that hurts among all the other betrayals. At that point he might not have even cared.

But then the air shimmered, from nothingness into familiar violet eyes, a mess of dark hair framing a pale, gently smiling face. His heart stuttered in his chest even as Rukia speaks and the world lights up around him. Colors had bled back into his world and already Zangetsu was as he was- a strong, steady thrum of presence, whispering of pride, relief , joy, Ichigo, Ichigo filling the corners of his soul once more.

It ended as it always did. Some came, all left, and even Urahara only lingered momentarily before he vanished into the darkness. It's easily to remind himself, in the midst of everything, to see Urahara-san as soon as he can. Getaboushi might play the fool well enough, but Ichigo knows exactly how that man wears guilt. There was familiarity between them- Isshin and Urahara-san. More of goat-face's secrets that he hasn't bothered to tell.

Ichigo knows damn well most of those secrets, if not all , are about him , concerning him . But then, he doesn't expect much. Goat-face was the type to pretend nothing was wrong rather than admit danger was coming and information needed to be shared so his children didn't all die.

( Like Mom, like Orihime's brother, like the Hollow that began all of this, like everything that almost killed Yuzu and Karin-)

He's never asked if the reasons why his friends oscillate between there and not there is because goat-face tells them to stay away. He knows they don't know what to do, knows that when Uryuu lost his powers, the Quincy basically vanished until he regained them. But Ichigo doesn't vanish. He stays. The desk stays his, he doesn't move. Chad is behind him, Orihime to his right and Uryuu sits in front. But some days, it's as if there's something that stands in between all of them.

It hurts, but he endures it because he knows that Ishida goes out of his way just to pass by his house for absolutely no reason other than to see all is well. Chad will move into his shadow and stay , sometimes carefully discussing the recent Hollows that appear and how Soul Society is keeping their distance. Orihime will blow into his personal space, Tatsuki on her steps, a cheerful whirlwind, shoving a bento in his hands and chatting a mile a minute. Keigo is much the same, Mizuiro a calming presence and ever present smile.

It's the little things that he holds on to, these bits of Uryuu, of Chad, Orihime and Tatsuki, of Mizuiro and Keigo that show that they still care. If he needs them, he knows they'll be there. He's never doubted that. If he really needed it, if he asked , he knew there would be a lot of people lining up to do anything.

The Old Man came without being asked. He always did.

( -he didn't know where his Hollow was. There was no answer to his calls.)

Eventually, the tension seeps out of his frame and Ichigo's eyes began to flutter. He's exhausted. Zangetsu is a warm and steady presence and he can feel his sister's in their rooms just across the hall. Goat-face isn't in the house and Ichigo doesn't care to exert the effort it would take to search for him. It's not like he familiar with the man's reiatsu anyway.

A deep breath, a slow exhale and as the Old Man's arms loosen their grip, Ichigo looks up into eyes that, for once, aren't obscured by sunglasses. His mouth opens, but once again the words stick in his throat. Zangetsu shifts, and he cannot help the instinctual tightening of his grap on his spirit's body. But then, the comforter is tugged off his bed and tucked around their bodies and his zanpakuto is leaning back to settle into a more sleep friendly position.

"/Do not worry, Ichigo. I will stay. Sleep./"

He stares for a moment longer. Slowly, he tucks his head in the hollow of Zangetsu's shoulder and the Old Man spreads and layers his reiatsu into the space they occupy. A breath, two, three-

Sleeps comes far more easily that it has in a long, long time.

When Ichigo wakes, Zangetsu was still there and goat-face's reiatsu is still absent. But his sisters are up and moving, so he uncurls from Zangetsu's embrace and gets to his feet. His body shifts and stretches, working out the kinks from sore muscles as Zangetsu gathers himself and stands. There's a moment of silence before the Old Man's lips quirk.

" /You've grown taller, Ichigo./"

The very visible pride and affection in the Old Man's gaze made his cheeks burn and a flare of pleasure curl in his chest. Still, he smiles and lets his own feelings color his tone.

"Do you think I'll be as tall as you someday, Old Man?"

" /Perhaps./"

In a swirl of reds and blacks, Zangetsu returned to Ichigo's inner world and he left his room to greet his sisters. Goat-face would probably be out for some time yet, hopefully. Then, he could go visit his friends. He could feel their reiatsu, excitement and happiness fluttering on his senses and that in turn brought an easy smile to his face.

He had no idea how much emotion, meaning and depth he projected and gleaned from other's reiatsu until he faded away bit by bit. Judging by the odd expressions his friends made during their hovering phases, they were just unaware of such a thing before it smacked them in their faces. Kami-sama knows all of them were basically self taught. What few things they learned from others, didn't go into depth about their powers.

Ichigo had only trained with Getaboushi for ten days after all. There was very little talking during that, mostly it consisted of Ichigo fighting for his life. His time with Yoruichi was even shorter, at only three days.

Regardless, as he sat down to eat breakfast with his sisters, he couldn't help the small but genuine smile that lifted his lips. Karin and Yuzu definitely noticed his lightened mood as the latter beamed back and even the former smirked in satisfaction at how much better their Ichi-nii looked. The events of yesterday were more like a bad dream than anything else.

When he finished, there was a swirl of familiar Hollow-tinged reiatsu just outside the front door. He hurried to put his dishes away, pausing long enough to drop a hand on both Yuzu and Karin's heads and was quickly out the door, calling out behind him, " Itterasshai!"

Chad stood on the street, a smile on his face as Ichigo came out to meet him, his own reiatsu rising to acknowledge the way Sado's curled brushes against his own presence. They set out towards Karakura High.

Everyone was waiting for him.

Beyond the walk to school, in which both Ichigo and Chad were perfectly fine communicating only through reiatsu, there wasn't any time to spent with anyone. They all sat through class, somehow managing to keep most of their attention on the teacher. Even if Orihime turned to randomly beam at everyone every time she felt a spike or a flutter in Ichigo's reiatsu.

When lunch rolled around, everyone in their in-the-know group headed straight for the roof. There was a tense silence hanging over them. The events of last night were still fresh in their minds and everyone seemed reluctant to break the tension. The past seventeen months were hard on all of them. Tsukishima screwing with all their memories and the apparent betrayal of his friends and family had stressed and almost broken the bonds between them, but even though things weren't quite back to normal, Ichigo still revealed in the presence of Uryuu, of Orihime, Chad, Tatsuki and of Keigo and Mizuiro.

He heaved a sigh and and reach a hand up to the back of his head.

"Honestly, you guys, if you have a problem, you can at least say it- "

" No!"

Ichigo stumbled back, eyes wide at the shout from everyone. He glanced at his side. Chad hadn't spoken, but there was something like shame on his face. He switched his gaze back. Uryuu was pushing up his glasses and drawing back into himself while Orihime's eyes dropped to the ground. Tatsuki was wavering between anger and some other emotion Ichigo didn't want to even touch.

There was something like shame and regret in all their faces.

Ichigo's face softened and his tone was quiet.

"You guys, it's not your fault-"

"How can you say that? "

Ishida burst out, frustration and anger in his voice. He took a sharp step forward, gesturing violently towards nothing in particular.

"Ishida-kun," Orihime stepped forward, hand lifting, before she dropped it. There was a terrible, solemn understanding in her expression that said she shared his feelings.

"They manipulated you to fight for them! Then and now! They were monitoring you, making sure you were kept in line and when you did your best and solving their problems and fixed their messes and gave up your reiatsu , they threw you away!"

Chad raised his arm, speaking loudly enough to be hear clearly, even if it was only a quick warning.

"Ishida-"

The Quincy slashed his hand through the air.

" No , it was all of us! Kurosaki-sensei told us to stay away, to give Kurosaki space and we did and whenever we decided that enough was enough, we tried to fix back in and he always came back to tell us again, to stay away from Ichigo. All of us saw he was miserable! Yet, why did we listen to him?!"

Ichigo grit his teeth. He suspected goat-face had something to do with his friend's weird behavior. He didn't have any proof, just a suspicion and to hear it confirmed. What right did goat-face even have to insert himself into situations where he was neither wanted nor needed?

Ishida was still speaking though.

"Urahara-san, the Visored, Shinigami! Everyone stayed away! You-"

"Ishida, enough."

Uryuu's breath stuttered, at Ichigo's calm interruption. He made a distinctly irritated noise and pushed up his glasses.

"He's right, Kurosaki-kun," Orihime interjected, her troubled gaze rising to meet Ichigo's eyes. "I ran into Kurosaki-sensei at the grocery store a couple days before your reitastu completely disappeared. He told me not to bother you with Hollows, or Shinigami or the like after- after. He insisted that you needed space to come to terms and let things go so I shouldn't…"

Her voice trailed off as Ichigo's face grew dark. Brown eyes slid over to Sado, Tatsuki, Keigo and Mizuiro.

"Did all of you mysteriously run into goat-face and get the same speech?"

There were affirmations from all those gathered and Ichigo scowled.

"That bastard had no right to interfere," he bit out viciously, "Honestly, who does he think he is?"

"To be honest, we all saw him as a Shinigami so we figured he was like you. That he lost his powers and that he really did know best and he was trying to help," Tatsuki explained, before she brought up her fists. "If I had known differently, I would have broken his jaw. Sorry."

Chad made a sound of agreement, the noise rumbling in his chest.

Ichigo sighed, his posture loosening.

"It doesn't matter now. It's in the past. Remember to ask me things concerning me, next time."

"I'm sorry, Kurosaki-kun."

"It's as Inoue-san says. We made a mistake we won't be repeating, Kurosaki."

Ichigo huffed, an amused smirk chasing away the last of the darkness on his features.

"Can we sit down and eat lunch now? I forgot how much more you had to eat when you used reiatsu."

The atmosphere settled into something light and happy with such a discussion now over and done with. Conversation shifted into areas they were more comfortable with, such as their past adventures, any interesting Hollows and how Ichigo's reiatsu was still leaking all over the place. Orihime proudly proclaimed her abilities had greatly improved, as both Ishida and Chad confirmed the same. There was an ease in their interactions that had been missing for the past seventeen months. In the middle of coaxing a smile out of Uryuu, Ichigo paused as a familiar presence brushed up against the edges of his senses. Noticing the stutter in his motions, Chad tilted his head over in curiosity.

"Ichigo?"

"Ah. Nothing."

Ichigo gazed out into the distance, as the wind ruffled his hair.

"I just remembered I needed to talk with Getaboushi about something."

And jii-san too.