It really is amazing, what kind of ideas you can come up with when you're at your lowest low, struggling to pull yourself up from the weight of your problems. I never thought I'd be writing about this, yet here I am. I hope that whatever you guys are going through, whatever problems you have, you'll remember that you're not alone. There is always someone out there who's going through the same thing you are, who's wishing that they weren't alone either. Whenever you're feeling down, remember that, and give yourself that reason to get back up.
You are not alone.
Disclaimer: These characters all belong to Rick Riordan, as does the location and practically everything else except the words in this story.
Sometimes he wondered if there was something wrong with him.
Every time something happened - a monster attacked, a god interfered, a ship part broke - his fellow Argo II members were on the job. They patched it up in no time, hours before Percy finally stumbled up on deck, wondering what the heck had just happened. And that was a problem.
Percy was used to people looking to him for help. For people to come to him so they could stay safe. And that was the way it should be, Percy thought. Better he get hurt than those others. Better that he suffer than anybody else. Especially when it came to his loved ones.
But now, Percy felt more useless than an appendix. They were all better than him. They could handle much more than him. They were putting themselves in harm's way because Percy wasn't enough to protect them from it - from anything, actually. It didn't feel good at all.
Even sitting in the stables, where Annabeth and Percy once had a splendid night together (no, not in that way! Get your mind out of the gutter!), failed to cheer him up. There was honestly no point to his being on that ship. What made him a hero? What made him worthy of standing among the demigods of the generation, claiming to be a savior of Olympus when all he did was let others save his sorry butt?
Nothing. Nothing made him worthy. He was nothing. A speck of dust on a diamond. Even that seemed like a generous metaphor for the way he deserved to be treated.
When the first tear fell, he stiffened in surprise. Look at him. Crying like a stupid baby because he didn't get what he wanted. What an asshole he was.
He wiped furiously at his face with his sleeve, praying that his eyes wouldn't get puffy. The last thing he needed was for people to question him.
"Hello?"
Percy jumped. He looked frantically around. He was in the middle of the set of glass doors, no hiding place nearby. Unless, of course, he stampeded across the room and hid behind one of the large pieces of machinery. But by that time, the person would have already seen him.
"Percy?" Leo peeked his head out from behind some scaffolding.
"Yeah?" He tried his hardest to sound casual, but his voice had easily risen an octave.
Leo grinned, a crescent of white glistening in the dark room. "Is Annabeth hiding somewhere here?"
As much as he knew it was good-natured, it struck something hard in his heart. Nice to know his reputation had been reduced to rebelliously making out with his girlfriend in the belly of a ship.
"No," he stated. "Just me."
"Cool," Leo shrugged. "Any reason why you're here?"
"I could ask the same of you."
"You really couldn't." Leo crossed his arms. "I'm always here. At least, I'm always next-door, in the engine room. I sleep there."
Percy lifted his head. "Why?"
Leo shrugged, seating himself on the glass doors beside him. "I don't know. Maybe it's the machinery, making me feel like I'm home. Maybe it's just because I'm a lonely old soul who sucks at making friends."
Percy snorted. "That's funny."
Leo raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"
He blinked another tear away, hoping that Leo wouldn't notice. "Well, you're hilarious. You're friendly. You're great with building stuff. We wouldn't last a day without you here, and everybody knows that. You're actually needed here."
Leo sounded incredulous. "You're talking to the guy who accidentally started a full-on war with the Romans."
"As much as I'm mad at you for that, it wasn't your fault," Percy admitted.
Leo turned around to face Percy. Flames flickered around his elbows. "Look. Every single one of you is part of a pair. You and Annabeth, Piper and Jason, Hazel and Frank. That leaves one alone. Me. I'm basically the most useless person on this ship. The seventh wheel."
Percy's eyes flashed. "Are you kidding? We would be a splotch of blood on Gaea's skin if it weren't for you. You've saved us countless times, you've used your ingeniousness to basically screw over every single monster that even bothered coming close to us, and literally nobody else could replace you!"
Too late, he realized he had been yelling. Leo was in a recoiled position, leaning backwards so that Percy wouldn't strike him or get up in his face. Percy immediately pulled away, slouching his shoulders. "Sorry," he murmured.
Ignoring his apology, Leo shook his head and straightened up. "What does that mean, though? It means nothing. You, Frank, Jason, you all look the part of a hero, you've all been heroes, and you have power. You're legendary. Annabeth, her smarts. Piper, her charmspeak. Hazel, her metally-thingy and her control of the Mist. The Mist! All I'm known for is building a gods-damned ship. And one that keeps breaking every five miles too, for gods' sakes."
"That isn't your fault either," Percy grumbled.
"All I'm saying, Percy, is that I'm not a hero. You guys are."
That upset him. He couldn't believe that Leo, of all people, was saying that. It was almost insulting.
"Tell me, Leo. What have I done on this trip that's so spectacular?" Percy asked pointedly.
"Well…" Leo started counting on his fingers. "You finessed the heck out of Chrysaor, you saved Frank and Coach Hedge from Kate and Porky, you went to freaking Tartarus, and you probably defeated, like, millions of monsters there for you to come out alive, and…"
"But how much more did the others do, compared to me?"
"Is that what this is about, Percy?" Leo spat. "You want the glory of having been the important one on this quest?"
Percy couldn't help but feel affronted. He didn't want glory. He despised glory. Anyone who knew him would know that. "Glory can go up my ass. Every single one of you has risked your life to protect us all, while I've just been sitting here like a pointless piece of garbage, leeching off of your selflessness like gods-damned mosquito! You guys can't do that for me! I don't deserve to be here!"
His chest felt tight. Tears collected in his eyes again, threatening to spill with even one tilt of his head. Percy buried his head in his arms to hide the waterworks, and maybe wipe them off.
A gentle touch against his elbow. "What if I told you I felt the exact same way?"
Percy sniffled. "The only difference is that I'm actually useless."
"No," Leo mused. "There is no difference." He fiddled with his fingers for a second, before blurting, "What if we be lonely together?"
"What?"
"We both feel like pieces of schists. If we're pieces of schists together, it'll feel a lot better than being pieces of schists alone."
Percy lifted his eyebrows. He didn't realize Leo knew about the schist joke. "Um… okay?"
Leo grinned again. "Great!"
They stared at each other for a second, simply registering what had happened. They weren't alone. There was someone else, on the very same ship as them, who felt the exact same way. And whether it was true or not, they both felt like there was something to go off of. A little bit of light at the end of the tunnel.
"Well," Percy drawled. "Are you going to go to sleep or not?"
Leo sprung to his feet. "Oh. Yeah. I should do that. You should too."
Percy got up as well. "I will."
He started walking away.
"Good night!" Leo exclaimed.
Percy turned. "Leo?"
"Yeah?"
"Come with me," he offered. "Sleep in your own bed for once."
"I- " Leo hesitated. "I, uh…"
Percy waved his fingers at Leo, urging him to hurry. He didn't want the kid be holed up in the engine room all night, isolating himself from the rest of the team. If they were going to be lonely together, might as well capitalize on the together part.
"Okay." Leo smiled, and Percy smiled back.
And for once, both of them were able to sleep through the entire night.