I Am Woman

Laura grumbled sleepily when a persistent tapping woke her from her slumber. Her left hand reached out, hoping to come into contact with her husband. She sighed when she didn't find him and blinked open her eyes. His side of the bed was empty and not even the slightest bit warm. She glanced at the clock. 1:03 PM.

Her head was deliciously clear, but that made it hard for her to remember what day it was. She stretched and tilted her body in the direction of her nightstand where her calendar lay sprawled open. Friday. Anita was supposed to come by to examine her.

She climbed out of bed and pulled on her robe as quickly as she could before she went to answer the door. "Hi," she said sheepishly. "Sorry. Come on in."

Anita looked at her through the eyes of a midwife and not a friend. "Are you really so exhausted? You're into your second trimester. You should be having loads of energy," she fussed.

"Well I-I had loads of energy last night, but I'm paying for it today," she blushed. "We stayed up all night."

"So you've made up?" She smiled.

"Mhm."

"Well that's good. I'm relieved to hear that because stress isn't good for Mom or baby." She set down her bag.

"Can I get you anything? Coffee? Orange juice?" Laura asked.

"How about some lunch? You're my only appointment today, and you need to eat," she said knowingly as she led the way into the kitchen.

"Sounds good to me," she laughed a little and followed after her.

"What sounds good to Mom to eat today?" Anita asked her as Laura opened up the refrigerator.

"You have to stop calling me Mom," she rolled her eyes. "And I know you're expecting me to say a big salad with leafy greens and lean chicken, but all I want is french toast," she pouted.

"Well, I think you can have the French toast if you have the salad too," she winked.

"I guess I can agree to that," she said as she poured herself a glass of orange juice. She reached into a cabinet to the right of the sink and pulled out two bottles. One bottle contained her prenatal vitamins and the other stored her iron pills. She put one of each pill into her hand before she took a gulp of orange juice and popped them into her mouth. She swallowed hard and put the pill bottles back into the cabinet before she went to work preparing lunch.

"Oh, uh hi," Ritchie said when he came into the kitchen through the sliding glass door. "I didn't realize you'd have company."

"It's okay, sweetie," Laura smiled. "Are you hungry?"

"Starved, but I'm gonna have lunch with Ellie when she gets off work. I was just coming home to shower," he explained. "Hi," he waved to Anita.

"Hi, Ritchie," she smiled. "You're more grown up every time I see you."

"Yup," he blushed. "I'm not that little kid who hides behind my mom's leg anymore."

"You sure aren't," she agreed. "She'll have another one of those though soon enough."

"Yeah." He cleared his throat. "Well, see you ladies later." He ducked out of the room.

"I'm not sure Rich is too thrilled about the idea of becoming a big brother at his age," Laura explained as she chopped up vegetables for the salad. "I don't blame him. It's been a shock for all of us."

"This is going to be so good for you all," Anita smiled. "Babies are so…precious." It was the only word she could think of. Her heart ached every day for the child she had lost.

Laura picked up on Anita's emotions and tried to be more positive. "They are. I have missed having a little baby to tote around. It'll be nice," she said. "Now are you gonna help me make this french toast or what?" She teased.

"Yes ma'am," she laughed and reached into the cabinet for the cinnamon.

"Have you felt any movement yet?" Anita asked Laura after lunch. She had taken her blood pressure and measurements and was getting ready to conduct a pelvic examination.

"I think so," Laura nodded. "Unless it's all in my head. It's kind of early, isn't it?"

"Not necessarily. Sometimes you feel it a little earlier with a second pregnancy but not always," she smiled.

"It's like little butterflies floating around in there," she laughed and lay back and trained her eyes on the ceiling.

"Ouch," Laura winced as Anita poked and prodded.

"Sorry," she apologized. "Have you been having any bleeding?" She asked her.

"Some," she nodded. "That's normal though, isn't it?"

"It can be," she nodded and then continued to examine her in silence for a few minutes. "I think maybe you better make an appointment with a doctor and have them look you over."

The color drained from Laura's face. This is exactly what she had been trying to avoid. Here she was allowing herself to get attached to a baby that might not even make it. "So...so what are you saying?" She swallowed hard.

"Oh goodness, Laura!" She exclaimed when she saw her patient's face. "This is nothing to be concerned about. I just think maybe it would be better for you to be monitored by a doctor for this pregnancy, given your history. You didn't exactly have an easy time of it before. It would put my mind more at ease. They have better means of helping you and your baby in a hospital. I love you, my friend, but I don't think I can keep on being your midwife."

"Well why didn't you say something sooner?!" She snapped. "You saw something, didn't you? My baby's going to die, isn't it?"

"Laura, please. Calm down. Everything is fine. Full disclosure: I am a little concerned that you're measuring a little bigger than I would like and your blood pressure's up. Like I said, it's probably nothing to be concerned about, but it is my medical opinion that a doctor is what's best for you at this point. I'll call Doctor Reynolds."

"No," she shook her head. "Not him. I want somebody different."

"Laura, come on. He delivered Ritchie. He knows your history."

"I know he does, but I want someone else."

Anita saw how adamant Laura seemed and realized that trying to change her mind would be a lost cause."Well, there is a female obstetrician I can recommend," she said after thinking for a few minutes. 'I'll just go find her in the book, okay?"

"Okay," Laura sighed and looked up at the ceiling again as she pulled her robe back around her. She let her hands rest on her belly, but she couldn't bring herself to look down at it. As she lay there, she felt the familiar faint flutter of the life inside her. Tears filled her eyes. Despite how upset she had been when she found out that she was pregnant, she would now do anything for her baby to be healthy. Part of her knew that she was being irrational, that Anita was just looking out for her and that likely nothing was wrong, but she couldn't help it.

"Laura? The doctor's name is Howell, Georgia Howell. I told her that you're very upset, and she said that she can fit you in for an appointment today, okay? Do you want me to drive you?" Anita squeezed her hand.

"I can drive myself. Just tell me where to go," Laura said as she pushed herself up into a sitting position.

Anita explained to her how to get to the private practice where Doctor Howell worked.

"Are you sure you don't want me to come?" She asked from outside Laura's bedroom door.

"I'm positive. I'm going to shower first before I go." She was staring at herself in the mirror again. She found herself doing it all the time now. "There's a check for you on the table by the front door," she told her. "I'll call you after I see the doctor."

"Okay, Laura. I really am sorry. I should've said something sooner. I just want you to get the best care."

"I know you do, and I love you for it. I'm just worried," she sighed.

After Laura was through the shower and changed into a tight-fitting dress, she set off for the doctor's office. It was a beautiful summer day, and she tried to enjoy the warmth of the sun on her skin, but she just couldn't stop worrying. She had always been a worrier, and she found that it only seemed to get worse with age.

She intentionally pulled into a spot far away from the entrance and tried to relax as she walked the distance.

"Hi uh my name's Laura Petrie. Anita Davis was supposed to have called Doctor Howell about me?" Laura told the receptionist.

"Oh yes, Mrs. Petrie," the woman smiled at her. "I just need you to fill out this paperwork," she said as she handed her a clipboard and a pen. "Then Dr. Howell will be ready for you."

Laura sat down in a chair and started to fill out the paperwork to the best of her ability. She signed her name at the bottom of the last page and brought it back up to the receptionist.

"Wonderful. Thank you, Mrs. Petrie."

As the young receptionist was speaking, an older woman came up behind her and looked over her shoulder.

"Hi, Laura," she smiled and extended her hand. "I'm Georgia Howell. Anita told me that she recommended you have a doctor look at you?"

"Uh yes. That's right," Laura nodded and shook her hand.

"Well then come on back and we'll take a look," she smiled and led her to an exam room.

Laura sat down on the table and crossed her legs as she picked at her nails.

"Anita told me that you're nervous. That's completely normal and understandable. I hear it's been a little while since you've done this."

"Eighteen years," Laura nodded. "I'm just so worried that something's gone wrong."

"Well, let's see if we can't squelch those fears a little, huh?" Doctor Howell smiled. "Let's start with some measurements. I'll take your blood pressure at the end. Maybe it won't be quite so rapid by then," she explained as she pulled out a tape measure.

Laura pulled up her dress. "I just keep getting bigger every day," she shook her head as the tape was wrapped around her belly.

Doctor Howell marked down the measurement and then asked Laura to lay back so she could record the fundal height. "Anita's right. You are measuring a little ahead of schedule. She told me you're about sixteen weeks?"

Laura nodded and played with her rings.

"And you've felt the first movements?"

Laura nodded again and didn't make eye contact.

"Please don't worry, Laura," she said as she reached for her stethoscope. "I'm going to see if I can hear your baby's heartbeat, but I don't want you to panic if I can't, okay? It's still awfully early."

"Okay," Laura pushed herself back up into a sitting position. She shivered slightly feeling the cold disc against her warm skin.

After a few minutes of pushing down on Laura's stomach and moving the disc around, Doctor Howell grinned at her. "A steady heartbeat. You have yourself a strong, healthy, big baby, Laura."

Laura felt tears prick her eyes. "Really?"

"Really. Do you want to listen?" She cleaned off the earpieces of her stethoscope before she readjusted the disc and handed the earpieces to Laura.

She shut her eyes and listened. At first, she didn't hear anything, but then, she heard a soft whooshing sound. "Oh wow," she whispered.

"Amazing, isn't it?"

Laura found herself at ease with Doctor Howell. She didn't feel rushed or dismissed. Her mind was still racing, but Doctor Howell just had a way of handling her that made her feel that her fears were understandable.

She ended up talking to her for an hour about her last pregnancy and all of her worries and fears for her current pregnancy.

"I see no reason at all for you to worry," Doctor Howell said at the end of her visit. "I would recommend cutting back on the dancing though, at least the extremely physically demanding kind. Exercise is very beneficial for you and you don't need to be on bed rest, but I would recommend dialing it back," she explained. "I also think you and your husband would really benefit from a Lamaze class," she said as she handed her a few pamphlets. "I assume you want him present for the birth? It's all so much different now than it was eighteen years ago. I think it's a lot better for everyone involved now," she smiled.

"Oh yes, I am wise

But it's wisdom born of pain

Yes, I've paid the price

But look how much I gained

If I have to, I can do anything

I am strong

(Strong)

I am invincible

(Invincible)

I am woman."

Laura was in the kitchen preparing dinner with a record blaring when Rob came home from work. He stood in the doorway just watching her.

"I am woman watch me grow

See me standing toe to toe

As I spread my lovin' arms across the land

But I'm still an embryo

With a long, long way to go…"

She put her hands on her belly as she danced around the room and sang along to the record.

Rob was smiling so wide that he thought his face might break in half when his wife finally noticed him.

"Oh hi," she blushed and moved to turn off the record. "H-how long have you been standing there?"

"Long enough," he grinned even wider and wrapped his arms around her. "You're so adorable, you know that?"

"Well, I do try, darling," she batted her eyelashes.

"I have a surprise for you," he murmured.

"I have a surprise for you too," she gazed into his eyes and moved his hands to her belly.

"I swear you're showing more than you were last night," he laughed a little.

"We have a big, strong, healthy baby. I heard her heartbeat," she beamed.

"Yeah?" He gave her a goofy grin.

"Yeah." She started to tear up again before she heard a tiny mewling sound coming from the living room. "Oh Rob!" She exclaimed in disbelief before she ran into the other room.

Sitting on the floor was a tiny orange tabby kitten. "Oh my goodness! Hi, sweetie pie," she cooed as she picked up the little ball of fur.

Rob sneezed into his handkerchief and smiled over at his wife.

"Where did you find it?"

"Her," he smiled. "And I was telling the gang that you wanted a cat and Buddy's sister's cousin-in-law's cat just had kittens so I drove to Pennsylvania this afternoon and picked her up."

"Oh darling, she's absolutely precious. Thank you." She carried the kitten over to him and gave him a big kiss.

"I figured we could have two little girls in the house at the same time," he whispered before he kissed her forehead. He still wasn't convinced that they were having a girl, but he didn't want to let Laura know that.

"I grew up with a kitten too," she said with a far-off look in her eyes. "I'm so happy, honey."

"Me too, Laurie. I feel like my heart could just burst."

The kitten made another little noise and Laura kissed her nose. "Let's get you some milk, sweetheart," she cooed and carried her into the kitchen.

Rob let out a contented sigh. It felt like all of the anger and arguing were behind them now, and he couldn't be more grateful. He was so in love with his wife and the life they had created. He was so proud of his son and thrilled about being a father again. He couldn't wait to see what the future had in store for them.