Aoi to Niji
(Blue and Rainbow)
A Recca no Honoo fanfic
By Tenshi no Ai
Don't own characters. Don't sue, please.
Since this is the epilogue of the series, I must stick with tradition and give a quick thanks to all the reviewers for the prior chapter, as well as all the people who're just reading this...I hope you've liked reading this series as much as I've liked writing it!
Rhiannon (I'm glad you've enjoyed this story!)
Sarri-chan (thank you for your constant detailed reviews! Well, more Aoi is always a good thing, if you're still thinking about going ahead with that...)
Foggy (so, you are still around? Great to see you again!)
Chibigreen Tanuki (yeah, I'm a bit sad I'm ending this myself, but I am planning more with this series as a base. Well, this was only supposed to be a one-shot...anyway, thank you for your kind reviews!)
Summary: On this late July day, Aoi leaves behind his comfortable present to meet a friend of his tumultuous past, hoping they can walk together toward an uncertain future...
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--beep-beep-beep--
Sluggishly, Kagura Aoi opened his eyes. Strands of his glossy purple hair hung over most of his face, which he lazily swiped out of his eyes as he sat up on his futon. Undaunted, his messy bangs fell back over his right eye, a more common look for the teenager.
--beep-beep-beep--
Okay, I understand, I'm awake, he said to his alarm clock, which innocently sat upon his dresser and continued to squawk unabated. Wishing for a moment that he had a remote control to the annoying device, Aoi threw off his thin blanket, revealing an oversized, plain white shirt and dark blue boxers, and made his way over to the digital alarm. Its bright red numbers displayed the time impersonally: 4:32.
--beep-beep-beep--
Aoi smacked the top of the clock dispassionately. Time to change... he said to himself as he walked over to his closet, where's that outfit I wanted to wear...
---------
It's weird.
This life I live now...it's weird.
To wake up', to change', to get ready for my day'...these words mean something so mundanely wonderful that at first it overwhelmed me. Of course I had done all these things before, as Shishiten Aoi, but I never had to think about it before.
I was just going through the motions before.
Now, it's much harder. I think to myself, Do I really want to wake up at seven in the morning to get some breakfast downstairs, or should I sleep in until it's nearly eight and walk with Domon-kun?'
I've forgotten...is today the day we switch from winter to summer uniforms?'
Since today is my day off from work, should I ask Yanagi-chan if she wants to go to the ice cream parlor with me?'
Superficial.
I absolutely love it.
But somehow...I still feel outside' of this life. I don't fit. I'm an outsider.
That's fine, though. Recca-kun told me as much, that everyone feels this way.
Although he acts like an idiot most of the time, I've never met someone as learned in life' as he.
Isn't that weird?
----------
It was nearly five now, as the subdued clock now showed. Its owner sat on the floor, lower back supported by his suitcase as he impatiently laced up his favorite pair of boots in a manner that was quasi-messy--a deliberate bad job. He tied the top lace haphazardly although there were still three more loops until the top of the boot and stood, shaking about one foot, then the other, making sure they weren't as loose as they appeared. Satisfied at his superficial laziness, he daintily walked out of his tiny room and into the corridor, walking over to the phone table.
He picked up the receiver, tilting his head in such a way that would indicate the act of remembering--the very act he had once denied in others--then punched in a long set of numbers. The dial tone rang into his left ear, unadorned of even the prerequisite earring that everyone seemed to bear these days, and then there was a click. Hello, Nagogiri Taxi Line, how may I help you?
Hello, I need a cab to take me over to Narita...
---------
Never once have I stepped outside the boundaries that others put onto me.
Mori Kouran told me, You are a failure.'
Alright, I'll act the part of the failure, the person who could never be redeemed. I'll try my hardest to renege that status, but deep down I will always consider myself a failure.
Yanagi-chan told me, You are my friend.'
I'm honored. I will do everything I can to help you, but as you have not countered what the first person has said, I cannot do anything more. However, I still like you. I like you for liking me.
Recca-san told me, You aren't just a deep-water fish! You can rise to the top! You can be more...you can be anything you want to be!
I...can?
...Fine then. Because you said so, I'll try my best to rise, to see the light of the sun!
Now, maybe I have the strength to truly become Yanagi-chan's friend.
And maybe...maybe I can give myself a direction in life.
Maybe I can surpass all boundaries.
I can become the person I want to be.
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--klacklacklack...bompf--
Aoi winced as both of the wheels of his suitcase slammed into the pavement after he had tried to carefully navigate it down the small steps in front of the Ishijima no Hana. He rolled it in front of him and leaned forward onto the extendible handle, gazing into the eastern sky. Violet-pink hues of light were starting to rise above the horizon.
All Aoi could do was watch.
As he stared into the morning light, it seemed as if there was nothing but him and the first true wonder of the world. The light from the dawn, everything from mauve to coral, apricot to faded gold, some colors he had only heard about or found in an art supply store, they were all slowly but surely pushing into the blue-black skies that dominated most of the sky.
The sound of an approaching car attracted his attention, and he turned just as the cab approached the curb. The driver, a cheerful middle-aged man, opened the door and got out, leaving his car running. Well now ojousan, let me just pop open the trunk and put your suitcase in so we can get going! Hope we can get a head start on traffic, it'll take a while to get to Narita from here anyway...
Aoi smiled reflexively and tuned out the man, instead continuing to watch the the colors in action.
----------
The white cross on my face is not from makeup.
After I was removed from the tube--my womb--I was laid out onto a table. I remember how it felt cold against my still-wet flesh, but I didn't shiver. I merely laid there, unblinking and unfeeling.
I wonder...in that state, did I exist'?
As I laid there, the man I would later know as Genjuurou was bustling about my frame, checking this and that on my vital signs. I felt everyone's eyes on me, but I didn't react. Finally, Genjuurou put something on my face--I believe it was a discoloration gel of some sort. I remember that cold cream and the slick feeling as it was rubbed onto my cheek. Later, when I was fully clothed, I noticed that bold white cross on my lightly golden skin. I asked what it was for to one of Genjuurou's assistants, and he bluntly told me it was the mark for sacrifice.
I was the first child of a man who wanted to be greater than God.
And as that saint had died on the cross for mankind's sins, so would I one day sacrifice myself in order to atone for Mori Kouran's sins.
At least, that would've been so had I been the embodiment of the raging flames of the Hokage.
All the same, I was marked to die.
Yet Renge, the so-called perfect' one, died instead.
I hide the cross with a small illusion spell. If you don't know where and what to look for, you can't see the cross. Even Yanagi-chan and Recca-san don't seem to be able to see that mark on my face anymore.
But I see it every single day.
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Checking in was tedious, as Aoi found out. The line was outrageously long, full of natives and foreigners alike. Both of these groups talked loudly and in so many different languages that Aoi began to feel strange as he stood in his place quietly.
For the first time in months, he felt lonely.
Even as he reached into his messenger bag to take out the ticket Hiruko had sent him and hand it over to the smiling associate for his boarding pass, he felt oddly discomforted.
Why was it different to listen to all these unknown people talk around him when his own group of friends did the same?
He took his boarding pass from the airline worker and passed over his suitcase, watching it as it slowly went around and out of sight. After a moment, he began to do the same, trudging over to the line that led to the metal detector. With the way he was holding onto his dark messenger bag, with one hand forever adjusting the strap, he looked absolutely and incomparably lost.
Always alone.
Aoi looked around, curious. Out of the corner of his eye he saw a girl with wheat-colored hair, a white tank top and baggy jean shorts running in his direction. He couldn't believe it, he couldn't--- he called out incredulously.
Yanagi waved, her smile almost impossibly wide. She stopped in front of her bewildered friend, bent over and panting slightly but her eyes flashing with happiness. I'm glad we made it in time!
Are you okay? Aoi said in a concerned tone at Yanagi's apparent inability to catch her breath. The golden-haired girl nodded and stood up straighter. And, what do you mean,
She means us!
Aoi stared as Recca, Domon and Fuuko appeared from behind a throng of people waiting for their boarding passes. They were all dressed in casual summer clothes. Hey, Aoi, Recca said, coming up and standing close to Yanagi.
How did you get here? Aoi couldn't help but inquire.
Oyaji's van. Yanagi asked him if he could drive us over here to see you off, and strangely enough he agreed, Recca's teeth shone as he gave the still bemused boy one of his famous grins, glad we made it in time.
Are you okay, Aoi-chan? Yanagi tilted her head, an expression of curiosity on her face. Aoi smiled.
I'm just a bit surprised. I mean, if I had known you were going to come here anyway, I would've just gotten a ride here with all of you.
It's your own fault for not asking, y'know, Fuuko teasingly countered, anyway, when you get back, we're having a rematch! I'll be practicing to beat you this time!
Like last time? Aoi said innocently. Fuuko pouted, then grinned.
Domon looked at Aoi's seemingly innocent expression and smiled. Hey, Aoi, when you get back, you're taking over all my shifts for two weeks! Because of you, I won't be able to go out on dates with my girlfriend--
Fuuko smacked him on the arm. Who's your girlfriend?!
I thought you were...
I never agreed to anything like that!
But Fuuko-chan...
The other three stared at this fairly common exchange before looking at each other. So, like...have fun in England, and buy me a souvenir! The spiky-haired of them exclaimed.
Buy me one too!
Idiot! You're in no position to be making demands!
Ah...of course I will, Recca-san, Aoi smiled, keeping a wary eye on his bickering friends. His best friend saw this and shook her head, moving up and giving him a hug.
Have fun in England, Aoi-chan, she said aloud, moving her head up to his uncovered left ear to whisper, I hope things go well between you and Hiruko-san. I hope you can bring him back so that...so that you'll always be happy, she moved away from Aoi's tentative embrace and smiled cutely,
Aoi closed his eyes and nodded, a peaceful expression smoothing out his delicate features. I will, Yanagi-chan.
-----------
There are so many feelings in this world.
Before I went to school, before I met everybody, I had only the vaguest idea what positive' feelings were like.
Happiness is completing a job that Mori Kouran gave me.
Happiness is knowing that I exist', but the person I targeted does not.
No, that's not happiness at all. Satisfaction, most likely, but happiness shouldn't lie with destroying another's happiness. That's empty, horrible.
That is what Shishiten Aoi is like to me.
I don't deny that I'm still Shishiten Aoi. In a way, if I was never that person, I could've never been the person that I am now.
How does one know the light, if they've never seen darkness?
I think that some people, more naive and/or judgmental sorts, would say that's just simple justification to possibly clear myself of the crimes I've committed in my short life.
But not even Mori Kouran's verbal abuse was as harsh as the abuse I heaped onto myself.
I was not born innocent. Renge was.
I will not die innocent. Renge did.
I understand, more than anyone else, that I've done horrible things in my life just to get a prized morsel--a compliment. I'm very sorry for that.
I won't deny that I'm still Shishiten Aoi.
I just don't want anyone to deny that I'm Kagura Aoi as well.
-----------
Aoi sat in his window seat, watching as the plane steadily climbed into the wondrous blue sky. The wing of the plane was in his way, but it didn't hamper his high spirits.
He felt as if he could soar into the sun and not plummet towards the earth like Icarus, but rather dive into the heart of the sun itself and be reborn.
His lips curved into a smile. Wasn't that what he was doing already?
Because of his friends, he was able to be reborn.
My dear friends, he mumbled, sweet Yanagi-chan, brash Recca-san, hotheaded Kirisawa, and bumbling Domon-kun...you all make me feel like I'm someone...special.
An airline attendant was coming by, asking if anyone wanted breakfast and what drink they would like? Aoi sat up straighter in his seat, waiting expectantly for her to approach him. Hello there, ojousan. Would you like some breakfast?
Yes, please.
And your drink?
Water, please.
As the attendant passed him a container and a cup of ice water, marveling all the while at ojousan's' lovely manners, Aoi reached for his black-and-navy messenger's bag, pulling out a prescription bottle. Oh, do you get airsick? the attendant inquired. Aoi paused, then looked at the attendant.
A bit.
Aoi looked at the container of food--a basic bento--and his plastic cup with bobbing cubes of ice, then placed his prescription next to the cup. It was the basic bottle that most prescriptions come in, down to the too-small size and the nearly fluorescent orange coloring, as well as the unintelligible writing on the label. However, there was a word on it that Aoi could easily decipher. He'd heard the word from the doctor's mouth one too many times to his liking.
Lithium.
-------------
I'm taking care of myself.
I know I'm not normal by any standards. I've been imbued with extra strength--more than what should be in this small body--and extra intelligence. Genjuurou would say that it was because of his genetic engineering that made it possible. That man was too pompous for his own good.
My genes do come from Kurei, after all.
Of course, he must've tweaked something, because sometimes I would fall into these horrible rages or become excruciatingly depressed. I don't really anymore, because I take pills and I have such wonderful friends and I really like my life...but sometimes...you know?
Thank you very much, mad doctor Genjuurou.
But that's fine. It's another part of living, of facing the challenges that come your way. Yanagi-chan says I'm very tolerable, that I could face anything with my attitude. That all she would do was cry because she felt worthless'.
Yanagi-chan...you don't really know yourself, do you?
Sometimes I feel worthless, like I don't understand what's going on. Like there's nothing I can do. And sometimes I cry, because these feelings build up until l just can't help it. Even with my friends, sometimes I can't help but give in to these emotions. But I could never show them that I'm capable of crying. I wouldn't want to worry them.
The only person I've ever felt comfortable crying in front of is Hiruko.
Only him.
------------
The people poured into the baggage claim of Heathrow Airport, their flight from Tokyo to England taking just a little over four hours. Most of these people were Japanese tourists, teenagers and the elderly, small groupings of friends and families alike.
One lone tourist, quiet and unassuming, caught the eye of nearly everyone.
This person was of average height and slim; the exposed arms were well toned and the entire body moving with an enviable sort of grace. Thick, shiny purple hair densely covered half of a delicately-built face, and was cropped in a matter that suggested that this person was a casual tomboy. The exposed left eye, the color of mahogany that had been treated to a polish finish, showed no exterior feelings about the airport or the mass of people around.
A short-sleeved black buttoned shirt was a nice contrast to the light coloring this person had. The top two buttons had been undone, plunging straight down to what appeared to be a modestly-sized chest...at least, if it weren't for the slate blue dress worn over the shirt. It was spaghetti-strapped and svelte until the hips, where it bloomed outward in a mass of pleats with the hem hanging two inches above the knees. That didn't mean the legs were bare; black socks reached upward until about a half inch above the knees. Barely tied shin-length black boots--Doc Martens--balanced out the almost schoolgirl-like ensemble. The medium-sized bag slung over his shoulder was boldly casual, the boots quietly dangerous, and everything else cheerfully feminine.
To Aoi, it felt right.
Right now, though, the feelings he held inside contrasted with the confident look of his clothes. Happy, yet with tinges of fear; anticipation mixed with anxiety with some impatience tossed in for flavor, Aoi knew that much.
They were about the same mixture of emotions he had that April day Hiruko had called him.
Shaking his head to clear out some of the more hyperactive thoughts and emotions--fear and anxiety being chief among them--he moved a bit to the left and scanned the room that made up the baggage claim, nervously holding onto the strap of his messenger bag. No, there weren't any smirking, bleached-blond assassins there.
He moved over to the right, the tinges of impatience darkening to annoyance while that fear began to raise its ugly head again. No trenchcoat-wearing half-English, half-Japanese man with fox-like electric blue eyes lurked there, either.
Nowhere.
He wasn't here.
-------
I've always trusted Hiruko.
I was the one who picked him up from that so-called life he was living in Tokyo. I understood who he was before he even knew it in himself. I made sure he could make it to my level, that he could become a shiten.
I told him that I would give him a new life, and I delivered.
There has been no one but him. He was the only one I could work with, the only one I could talk to. He knew who I was, my inadequacies, my dreams, everything.
He is my partner.
He is my friend.
He is my...
-------------
There you are.
Aoi turned at the mellow baritone spoken at his back. The words spoken were in English, but Aoi understood perfectly. There you are, I should say, he lightly returned, a faint accent curling over his own English. He adjusted the strap of his messenger bag slung over his shoulder and took a closer look at the man who had invited him here.
Hiruko stood directly in front of Aoi, completely and utterly unchanged from the last time Aoi had seen him. The thick spikes that jutted downward around his head were still given the peroxide treatment, although Aoi detected black roots through the formidable spikes. His eyes were still pointed in a manner that looked vicious, although there was a hint of gentleness in those deep blue eyes. That smirk which seemed to be a constant expression for him was as smug as ever. He still had his strong facial features, he was still a bit more than several inches taller, he still wore a lot of black--even a trenchcoat--even though it was still daylight outside. Outwardly, he was the same Hiruko.
That hint of gentleness, of kindness, though...
Something wrong? Hiruko lowered his head slightly so that he could look more closely at his partner's dark eyes, his eyes now showing a bit of concern.
That was more than he had ever shown before they had went their separate ways.
A small upturn of the lips decorated Aoi's small face. It's good to see you again, na-ka-ma, the tiny smile bloomed into a full-fledged grin, I need to get my bag.
Hiruko watched Aoi gracefully flit away, the grayish-blue skirt of the dress swaying back and forth in an almost hypnotic manner. It's good to see you again too, he said to the retreating figure, dropping the cocky smirk in exchange for the beginnings of a relaxed smile.
Really good.
-Owari to Aoi to...-
Notes lite:-Lithium is a drug prescribed for the treatment of bipolar (manic-depressive) disorder.
-In my own mind, Aoi and Fuuko tied during their race.
Once again, I hope you enjoyed this fic!