Prologue

Previously on "Balanced":

The nightmare began with hallucinations of dark and bright spots in the corner of his eye, but things quickly escalated for Dean. Soon he was having violent headaches and his friends thought he was going crazy; that he was losing his mind. It all seemed to be a lost cause and Seth with Roman didn't know what to do.

The arrival of Matt Hardy however explained everything. He explained that Dean is the guardian of the Balance, a cosmic force between two worlds, of magic and science; a force that holds everything in place, glued together and without it both worlds would be destroyed. There is one catch however.

A guardian must remain in place for one thousand years, lost to both worlds, lost to everyone he has even known.

And there was one more little problem.

Bray Wyatt.

Separated from his love, Abigail, some 12 thousand years ago, his soul jumping from body to body, with the last traces of magic, he wanted to capture, kill Dean, and hopefully assume his place as guardian, destroy the world of technology and be reunited with her.

But he failed.

Matt Hardy sacrificed himself to give them time to reach the Tower of the Balance and with the valuable help of Roman and Seth, Dean became the guardian but not before Roman confessed his long buried love for him. And it is with this heavy feeling of unfulfilled love, they were separated. Dean climbed to the Tower and Roman was left behind empty and heartbroken, with no one but Seth knowing the truth about what happened.

. . .

Welcome back to this pitch black, vast place I call my mind.

There was something that bothered me; the way things were left in the "Balance" story. All characters simply hurt too much by the end. And I couldn't get that out of my head. I didn't like the thought of them suffering for eternity. So I tried to think of a way to atone myself and bring some closure. Write a story that has a happy ending…

Maybe. We'll see as it unfolds.

So here it is.

As always.

Close the door behind you and turn off the lights.

Are you ready?

Let's begin.

. . .

3 YEARS LATER

There were not many things that gave him hope or made him smile these last few years. He felt empty and alone. And it was all his fault. Everything he did felt mechanical; wake up, go to the gym, go to work, eat, sleep…

And he felt completely alone.

Roman Reigns lived alone. It hadn't taken him long to get a divorce after losing Dean to the balance. The separation was amicable. Of course he hadn't told his wife the truth, the reason behind it but she could see he was a different man; that he was unhappy. After Dean's 'disappearance', there was no turning back for him. He could no longer lie to himself and to his family. They deserved better.

Disappearance…

That is what they had told the police. That day, when they had left the arena, all three Shield members together, they said that they had slept at a motel; that they had woken up the next day with Dean missing… gone, without a trace. They had told the police that they had spent a full day looking for him and that's why they hadn't called the police sooner.

The investigation was long and the case had gone very public. The company really wanted to find him and had gone to great lengths, even hiring a private investigator but to no end. Despite the endless hours of him and Seth being interrogated, the case had gone cold.

And it was so hard coming to terms with it. Roman had no one to turn to but Seth. But after a while, he had stopped talking to him about Dean. This was his burden to bear. And so he had built a wall around him, becoming a shadow of his former self. And it took everything he had to keep pretending; to keep fooling the fans, the company and his friends; that he was fine; that he, like everyone else, believed that Dean would someday come home.

But Seth knew better. He could see his friend withdrawing, building those huge, impenetrable walls around him and there was nothing he could do about it. At first he had thought that Roman needed some time alone and gave him the space he wanted.

And that had been a terrible mistake.

Now Roman might as well be a million miles away. Seth was the only one not fooled by his pretending. Sometimes their eyes would meet in the locker rooms or in the gym or the arenas and he would instanlty feel his broken heart; see the hurt in his eyes.

Seth hurt too. He had lost a dear friend; a brother. But Roman… he had lost much more. No one had spoken about his feelings since that night with Matt Hardy.

Matt Hardy.

That was another thing.

They were not part of that investigation because no one else knew he had been with them when he had died.

And they were not involved with the case surrounding the disappearance of Bray Wyatt.

The whole thing was a mess. Three wrestlers had gone missing, vanished at the same time! It was unheard of. The police had figured that all three cases might be connected by they couldn't prove anything. There was no evidence, substantial or circumstantial. The lack of clues had sparked many speculations and wild theories but none came close to the truth.

That Matt Hardy and Bray Wyatt were dead.

That Dean might as well be dead; that he was the guardian of the balance between two worlds; that would stay like this for one thousand years.

One thousand years!

Until everything and everyone he had ever known would be long gone and forgotten; until the world was such a different place…a different planet almost.

No wonder every descending guardian ended up crazy or dead!

That train of thought always led to sorrow and guilt. And those were sickly and morbid feelings.

. . .

Roman was finishing packing his bag in the arena's locker room when Seth entered. He stopped by the door and looked at him. They were alone. He rested his shoulder on a locker door and kept looking at his friend.

"What?" Roman asked not really aggressively.

"How long?"

"Excuse me?" the aggression raising.

"I'm asking you how long are you going to keep this up? It's been three years"

"What's your point?" he asked stuffing his duffel bag faster.

"My point is he wouldn't have wanted you to be like this; sulking, sad and guilty. He even told you so"

Roman sat down. He didn't have the strength to argue anymore. He felt so tired all the time, like all life had been sucked out of him.

"I can't help it. At first I felt angry with him… for making me have all these feelings; for making me care and then disappearing. It has taken me a while but I finally realized I was angry with myself. I was the one in denial during all those years. I was the one who destroyed my life and my family… not Dean"

"No one is to blame. What happened wasn't our fault. It wasn't anybody's fault. As far as your family goes, I think it's better late than never. It would have been worse if you'd kept lying"

Seth sat beside him.

"Listen… I came to tell you… I'm sorry"

"For what?"

"I'm sorry for being distant. I thought you needed space and that's why I stopped talking to you, but I was wrong and I am truly sorry"

Roman kept his eyes ahead.

"There is nothing to be sorry about. We both needed the space to deal with it all. You didn't do anything wrong."

"Neither did you. There was nothing you could have done… and the truth is that by being there you probably saved his life"

"That's not the problem"

"Then what?"

"I just wish… we had more time; I wish I had been more honest with him and myself… so many regrets… I feel so alone and so lost… and I don't know what to do. I don't know how to keep going… keep living like this."

There were no tears. He had cried all of them a long time ago.

"You don't have to feel alone. I'm your friend and I'm here. It has taken me a while, but I'm here… and I hope I'm not too late"

Roman looked at him with a sad smile.

"No… I don't think you are too late."

Seth smiled bitterly.

"I miss him too"

Their conversation was cut short as a few other wrestlers entered the locker room. Both friends stayed in silence for a while and after having gathered their gear, exited the arena together.

"Wanna grab a beer? It's been a while" Seth offered.

"Sure… you drive"

. . .

The bar they found was a few miles away from the arena. They didn't want to be close to where the fans might be because they needed their privacy. They needed to be alone with each other.

They found two seats at the bar, at the farthest, darkest corner, unseen by prying eyes. They ordered two beers and sat in silence, looking at some football game that was being broadcasted on the TV.

They talked about their past and upcoming matches, storylines and pay per views and had a few laughs, but after a while they fell silent again.

It was Seth that broke that silence.

"Did the police call you?"

"No…did they call you?" Roman was genuinely surprised.

"Yeah…about a month ago"

"About what?"

"Matt Hardy"

"Are you're telling me now?" Roman raised his eyebrow, genuinely surprised.

"It was nothing important. They said they were verifying and cross referencing some facts from the case and that I was one of the last people to have seen him alive"

"Really?"

"Yeah. Oddly enough his last match was with me. I might have been the last man to see him alive in the locker room."

Roman raised an eyebrow.

"And?"

"And nothing. They asked me if he had been acting strangely; if he'd been, you know, weird or strange"

"What did you tell them?"

"If they could see my face, they would have known I was lying… I felt everything crashing down on me; I felt lightheaded, my knees were weak… but I got it together and told them the same lie I had told them three years ago"

Roman looked ahead at the TV and the large wide mirror below that reflected the negative of the street behind them.

"It's weird" he said. "Why now?"

"I don't know…maybe a new detective?" Seth suggested.

"I don't know either. It feels strange. Dean has been missing for three years now and after the initial investigation and the interrogations, nobody has talked to us since… my point being, something is wrong. And why talk to you over the phone?"

He took a sip from his beer and looked at the mirror again.

It felt weird too.

"Maybe because I'm not home often"

"Maybe" he said thoughtfully. "Has anyone talked to you about Bray?"

"No… never… that's a good thing, right?"

"Yeah… as far as I know, nobody has talked to the police about him. Come to think of it, it seems as if no one is taking his disappearance seriously. You'd think the fans would react… more. Three favorite wrestlers missing and the police don't care about Bray?"

Seth simply nodded and Roman continued his thought.

"They were talking to us about Dean for hours! They investigated everything, even processed our stuff… all I'm saying is that this underwhelming Bray investigation is strange."

"Maybe Dean had something to do with it" He looked at the Samoan. "Well, think about it… if Dean is the guardian, and this guardian means he is some sort of conduit for the balance, then maybe this is his way of balancing things, equaling them out. I mean, what do we really know about Wyatt? We know nothing of his past. If the police dug deeper, who knows what they would have found? Maybe that would have led them to us and Matt. Maybe, this is the balance's way of protecting us, the guardian and itself"

"Even if it is so… we should keep our eyes open… be careful"

"You feel it too, don't you?"

Roman nodded.

"Something is shifting…" Seth added "Changing… what do you think it is?"

"I don't know… all I know is the last few days, all I can think of is Dean… but I feel different… I still feel alone and sad and guilty, but I also feel like I am changing… like I'm about to take the leap from a really tall ladder or a cage and I don't know how I will land… if I'll survive"

"I know…"

"And it's a new feeling… one I didn't have before."

"You feel anxious… stressed… like your heart is about to burst" he looked at the Samoan with understanding. And Roman looked back nodding. He took a sip from his beer and looked at the mirror.

Why did this mirror bother him so much?

What was it about it?

The rest of the bar was empty since it was getting late and tomorrow was a working day. The bartender was at the other side of the bench, cleaning up and getting ready for closing time. Roman looked at the TV and then back at the mirror.

He didn't realize all sound had vanished; that he couldn't hear Seth talking right next to him anymore… all he could do is look in that mirror and it felt like it was pulling him in.

Then he saw it… in the corner, a small ripple formed, one that looked like he had just thrown a pebble in a lake. That single, circular ripple started to grow and gradually travel from one corner to the other. The mirror glass looked like mercury, distorting everything he could see in it.

He felt his breath stop in his throat and he clenched his beer bottle tighter. He could feel Seth's eyes on him and he knew he was talking to him, but he couldn't hear any of the words. It was as if all sound was gone and he was living in a void. He had a vague sensation of Seth's hand on his shoulder shaking him, but he was numb. He didn't know if he was shaking or if he was sitting still… he knew however that the mirror was trying to show him something.

That ripple had started from the left corner and had ended up on the right one. And there, that ripple became smaller and smaller. But before it vanished, it zoomed on a face staring at them from outside.

A familiar face. One he didn't think he would ever see again.

"Dean" was all his breath allowed his to say.

"What?" Seth asked surprised, having heard the name and turned around.

Roman snapped out of his trance as soon as the rippled vanished and immediately he felt like he could breathe again. He turned around and looked outside, to the street.

But it was empty.

Breathing fast, anxious and afraid, he left Seth and ran outside.

"Wait! Where are you going?"

Hurriedly Seth left some money on the bar and followed his friend outside. He caught up with Roman a few feet away from the bar's entrance, frantically looking around, his face white like he had just seen a ghost.

"What is it? Who did you see?" he asked just to make sure he had heard Roman say Dean's name.

Roman kept looking around but there was no one there. It was late and they were alone on the city street. A few lights cast a yellow glow on everything, making the scene feel like a dream… or a nightmare.

"It was him… I saw him… through the mirror…. He was looking at me…"

"Who? Dean?"

"Yes!" Roman took a few steps down the street.

"That is not possible and you know that" Seth tried to snap him out of it. He was worried about his friend; afraid that his mind had finally snapped, not able to cope with this ongoing situation.

"I swear I saw him" he said and looked at Seth. "I swear"

"That is not possible and you know it"

"He was looking at me. I saw him through the mirror… it rippled… and then I saw him… he was… lost and afraid…but he was right there… looking right into my eyes…"

Seth looked around. They were hopelessly alone.

"There is no one here… come on man… let's go" He grabbed Roman's arm and pulled it slightly just to wake him from this irrational trance he was in but he just kept looking around.

"I swear…" he mumbled but the street was empty.

"Come on, let's go… you are tired… Dean is not here… he is gone"

"Don't say that" Roman snapped at him and looked into his eyes almost angry "I know what I saw… I'm not crazy…"

"I didn't say you were… but you know what happened and you know we're not going to see him again…"

Roman's eyes softened and he finally was able to put his breathing under control. He passed his fingers through his hair and exhaled.

"You… you're right…"

"Let's go. We are both exhausted. We'll figure it out in the morning" and pulled his arm gently a second time.

This time Roman didn't resist. He followed his friend to the car. Before making the turn and letting the street behind them, he took one last look.

Still empty.

Like his heart.

Empty, sad and lonely.

How he wished it were true. Maybe he was finally losing his mind and maybe it was for the best.

But he had seen him and he looks so real. He just couldn't help thinking how scared and lost he looked. Maybe it was his heart finally breaking; making him see things he had wished were true for so long. He bowed his head and followed Seth feeling sadder and lonelier than ever before.

. . .

So hear me now
This weakened voicing
Listen one last time
It is dying
Here at the end I am
Watching closely
Afraid to see you
Afraid to be

So here it is again
This loneliness of mine
I can't seem to find you
I don't believe you're there
Is this your hand?
Is this the turning?
I need to say I lost you
I need to say goodbye

And save me from this blinding night
Of nothing
Save me from the dying
Save me from my god
Choose to find salvation in the sorrow
I hope to see you laughing
Laughing at the end

So here it is again
This loneliness of mine
I can't seem to find you
I don't believe you're there
Is this your hand?
Is this the turning?
I need to say I lost you
I need to say goodbye

I'm standing here in line
Hoping to see
My dreams are intertwined
I'm here by your side
So here it is with me
This old friend of mine
I'm trying to break free
I'm here by your side

So here it is again
This loneliness of mine
I can't seem to find you
I don't believe you're there
Is this your hand?
Is this the turning?
I need to say I lost you
I need to say goodbye

-Mercenary: Isolation (The Loneliness in December)-