Pumpkine!

Part 4

Yukine shivered on his way home. By mid-October, the evenings were getting chilly. He'd need to pull his coat out of storage when he got back. That, or the chill up his spine was in reflex to the talking eyeball that told him how good he smelled.

He tightened up. A few more squeaks in the shadows echoes the compliment. Small-fry ayakashi didn't usually bother him. Maybe since the sun was down, they were bubbling over with confidence. Yukine ignored it and kept walking. Home was just a few blocks away, and although Kofuku's place didn't qualify as the holy ground of a shrine, Daikoku's borderlines shooed off the little ones, and with Yato around, nothing big survived.

And then came a serpentine giant, tearing through the air- fast- directly towards Yukine. He threw up a borderline. The snake didn't stop, instead, flung its body upwards 90 degrees, shooting up like a rocket into the sky. Two shots followed, and the creature dissolved into purified rings.

Yukine spotted Bishamon, jumping between roof tops and trees after another ayakashi, and an open vent spilling even more monsters into the city. All in the direction of Kofuku's house. He took off running.

Yukine had an idea, but he still wasn't prepared for the infestation. The vent was right beside the house, and the ayakashi, a swarm of flies from hell the size of cats, covered the house, yard, and pumpkins. Yukine couldn't handle this many. Ten of them, he wouldn't have an issue, but so many that the house lit up with evil, glowing eyes? Where were Kofuku, Daikoku, and Yato? Yato didn't have his shinki to defend himself, and Kofuku would just open another vent. Surely, they had gotten out.

"AaaaAAAaAAAAAaHH! AAaaHH!"

A voice called out from inside the house. Yukine's stomach sunk. He desperately wanted it to be an ayakashi's, but it called out again. The swarm of ayakashi buzzed, their thousand glowing eyes jumped erratically in their sockets - up, left, down, to Yukine.

Now or never, he charged. The swarm split at the first borderline and was almost reformed by the second. All around him, eyes, chirps, smell!, and orange gourds ready to trip anyone stupid enough to run. Something landed on Yukine's back and sunk in its teeth. He reached over his shoulder, grabbed something that crunched and covered his hand in blight. Yukine tossed the ayakashi, followed by a line to slice it in half. Even with the house right up ahead, the swarm was furious.

He stumbled up to the porch, shaking off yet another. There was the voice again. He drew borderline behind him and hoped it would hold up.

"Yato!"

Through the living room, down the hall, Yukine ran. Was it coming from upstairs or the bedroom? No- the bath! Yukine flung open the door. Yato screamed. He whirled around with the showerhead, water on full blast, colder than ice.

Yukine sputtered, "it's me!"

The water stopped. "Yukine! Is it really you?! You came back?"

Wiping water out of his eyes, Yukine gaped at Yato. He stood in the tub with one leg stuck through the plastic tub cover, the other left up on top. The resulting pose evoked charades for mounting an invisible horse.

"What in the world happened?"

Like the much-welcomed 'we're here!' after a twelve-hour drive, morning arrived. Whatever ayakashi hadn't been slashed, stabbed, or shot went looking for rocks to hide under when the sun came out.

Kofuku's yard was more crowded than usual. Yukine sat on the front porch, ready to crash after an all-nighter. Kazuma was making rounds looking for whatever got away, and Kuniha, Akiha, and Kuraha were at work sealing up the vent. Being released from gun duty, Kazuha and Karuha had taken an interest in the yard full of pumpkins, which somehow survived unscratched. Bishamon was engaged in conversation with Yato out front, in which she issued sincere threats of violence, and Yato had a jolly good time.

For better or worse, Kofuku and Daikoku were nowhere to be found.

Maybe it was Yukine's lack of sleep, but all this felt too familiar to be real. By a delicate balance of fate and luck, Yato was still here. Yukine was still here. And Yukine wanted himself and Yato and everything else to just… stay. Except for the pumpkins.

They still needed to sell these. Well, if it wasn't pumpkins, the it would have only been a matter of time before Yato came up with something else stupid. Yato was laughing. He looked pretty dumb with one pant leg ripped to shreds.

Yukine let his head hang and eyelids droop. He almost jumped when he heard his name. The porch creaked as Kazuma sat down beside Yukine.

"What is it this time?" Kazuma asked. "Something Yato came up with, I'd guess?"

"You mean the pumpkins?" So Yukine explained Yato's sudden eagerness to take advantage of Halloween, take on the business of sell pumpkins, their utter failure at sales, and the fact that Yato had dug himself (and Yukine by connection) into debt.

"Who in their right mind would sell Yato anything on credit."

"A desperate farmer with four kids on the way."

"I see." Kazuma frowned as he took in the abundant supply of orange. "If it's any consolation, it's extremely unlikely a living human could track down Yato to pay a debt."

Yukine turned a blank stare to Kazuma. Kazuma adjusted his glassed. Yukine thought Kazuma needed new glasses, since his current ones wouldn't stay put.

"No." Yukine said. "Yato's going to pay."

"I understand why you wouldn't tolerate the behavior. You've got about, what, two and a half weeks left this month? Do you have any plans on how to sell these?"

Yukine had no idea what they would do. The vent clean-up lasted until mid-morning, by which time Bishamon and her shinki were ready to head home and sleep. Except for Kazuma, who after receiving an eyeroll and 'do what you want,' stayed behind to sell pumpkins.

"First, you're cleaning! Get the wheelbarrow and pile all the damaged pumpkins out front," Kazuma declared. He grabbed the rotting pumpkin head of Kim Jong-Un chucked it into the walkway.

Indignant, Yato came running, "Hey!"

Kazuma tossed the next rotting pumpkin left on the display table. "I've found a local gardener who'll take the free fertilizer. He'll be here to pick them up in an hour."

"What are you doing? It's art, not damaged!"

"You know your biggest problem right now?" Kazuma flashed a piece of paper his pocket. "I found this stuck to the front door. Violation of City Ordinance, Fly Infestation causing a public nuisance, clean up by October 14 – that's today – or pay a 50,000 yen fine."

Yato stiffened up, brandishing an awkward grin.

Kazuma wasn't done. "Your second problem is that you foolishly jumped into selling a product for an imported holiday without any plans or consideration. Your third problem is putting yourself and Yukine into debt from gross mismanagement. Yukine!"

Yukine jumped. "Yes?"

"I'll need you to go to a garden supply shop for insecticide while Yato is cleaning. Look for bottle that attaches to the hose. Here," Kazuma gave Yukine 1,000 yen from his wallet. "You can pay me back from pumpkin sales."

"From pumpkin sales? Uh…" Yukine took the money, but not with confidence. "Okay."

In just a few hours, the rotting pumpkins were carted away, insecticide disbursed the flies, and the place was looking and smelling much better. Yukine didn't know what set him off, but Kazuma morphed into a management machine. He made a quick trip to Bishamon's mansion and brought back a laptop with cellular data, and quickly curated an extensive list of websites and forums for targeted marketing.

Yato sneered over Kazuma's shoulder. "You know I already tweeted that I was selling pumpkins and no one cared."

"Of course. Anything one of us posts online will be extremely difficult for normal humans to notice," Kazuma said. "Why don't you call Miss Iki and see if she'd like to give us a hand."

"Huh? Hiyori?"

"Bishamon hires regular people for marketing work all the time. All Miss Iki needs to do is copy and paste the advertisement I prepared, and it's a hundred times more likely people will notice. Also, it wouldn't hurt to have her redo the signs."

Hiyori was happy to come and set about her task of copy-paste. "I really hope this helps," she said.

Yukine sat at the table beside her and peaked over her shoulder the screen. "Do you think we can really sell them?"

"Maybe?" said Hiyori.

"It's a niche market, but most likely," said Kazuma.

"700 yen a pumpkin?" Yato pointed to the laptop. "No one's buying them because they're too expensive. We should sell them for five yen each."

"No. You should sell them to people who actually want pumpkins," said Kazuma. "Set the price too low and your potential customers will infer an inferior product."

"I don't think anyone in Japan wants Halloween pumpkins," said Yukine. "Anyone but Yato. They're big and heavy and carving them makes a mess."

"But there's lots of other Halloween stuff everywhere," said Hiyori. "And the Holiday Store we went to was selling pumpkins before it switched to Christmas."

"Hiyori, do you want a pumpkin?"

She shifted uncomfortably. "Me? I don't think I could carry it home."

"See?"

Abruptly, Kazuma stood up and looked out into the yard. Bishamon made her way through the gate, trailed by half a dozen shinki – all of them children. They scattered once inside the yard, running this way and that, pointing at the pyramids and different shapes and sizes of pumpkins.

"Bishamon, did something happen?" Kazuma asked.

She headed over to the house, lips pulled tight. "Karuha and Kazuha went back and told the other kids there were Halloween pumpkins for sale, and now, everyone wants to try carving them. They were so set on it, I told them they could use their allowance."

"REALLY?!" Yukine and Yato practically jumped.

Bishamon sighed. "How much are they?"

Yato piped up, "Five yen—"

"Five hundred yen," Yukine corrected him, "for a small pumpkin. Six for medium pumpkins and seven for large."

"Oh, so not too expensive," said Bishamon. "As long as the kids clean up the mess." Yato jumped out into the yard, pointing the young shinki to different varieties of pumpkin, and Yukine bit down his grin. Bishamon was hardly pleased to be their first buyer.

Then at the table, Hiyori gasped. "Look, look, Pumpkine!"

Yukine turned back to Hiyori. "Huh?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, I was thinking about you and pumpkins—you got an e-mail order," she said. "They're requesting you deliver ten pumpkins. I think it's an art studio."

Aided with the convenience of teleportation, Yukine and Yato made twenty-seven pumpkin deliveries over the next two days. The third morning, they were back at the pumpkin patch, waiting for the next customer to arrive or delivery request to pop up. Who would have guessed that a little bit of clever marketing could make such a huge difference? Yukine had quietly counted out the second payment for Mr. Hisaishi and tucked it away in his jacket.

The air was chill, but the sun nice and warm, and a rather strange thought occurred to Yukine. That maybe a truckload of pumpkins wasn't the dumbest thing Yato could have done. They were festive, cheerful, and orange. The color reminded him of the leaves, only just starting to tinge orange. He and Yato weren't going to be in debt; Yato was happy, making a mess carving a new display pumpkin; and nothing else mattered that much.

"We should have asked Hiyori earlier!" said Yato.

Yukine disagreed. "We should have asked Kazuma."

Kazuma stuck around, on and off phone to potential pumpkin buyers, and while Yukine was grateful, he imagined Bishamon might be missing him. Kazuma came to join them, a particular gleam in his eye.

"I just got off the phone with Tokyo Disneyland," said Kazuma. "They want to buy all your remaining pumpkins, and the truck is on the way."

Yukine blinked. "What?"

"Apparently, their pumpkin display got struck by lightning, and they need replacements as soon as possible."

"All of the pumpkins…" Yato was forlorn. Shoulders sagging, he loaded the wheelbarrow.

Yukine was grinning ear to ear. "We couldn't get a better deal! Kazuma got them to go for 75% retail price."

"It's not even Halloween yet! Not even close!" Yato sniffled. "I just… thought it would be fun…"

"Come on, it's not like we could sell the whole yard of pumpkins in the next two weeks anyways, even with the best marketing in the world," said Yukine. "We're getting way more money this way."

"All you shinki care about is money."

"Yato. We made a profit!" said Yukine. "We'll pay back Mr. Hisaishi, and have cash left over. We don't have to worry about selling the rest of these!"

"But… it's not even Halloween yet."

"The truck's here. Hurry up!"

The sea of orange dwindled and dried up, and the pumpkin pyramids shrunk down to the ground, leaving patches of dead, dry grass where they once stood. The truck wasn't as large as Mr. Hisaishi's delivery truck, and even then, the pumpkins only filled up half the trailer. They'd actually sold a lot.

Yato had the last few pumpkins, rolled over in the wheelbarrow. "I guess this is it."

"Yup."

Yukine took a deep breath of October air. The yard was so empty, so clean. Yato looked like his cat died. Yukine leaned over the wheelbarrow. One long, tall pumpkin. One small and fat. One big and fat. A bumpy pumpkin with green spots. A couple of smaller ones that you could carry with on hand. He picked up a bright orange one, and instead of loading it on the Disney truck, turned around and carried it back to the porch.

"We can keep a couple pumpkins, can't we? At least until November," Yukine said. "I kinda like the color."

🎃🎃🎃🎃 The End 🎃🎃🎃🎃