- 00 -
Su Muqiu was tired, so very tired, and he couldn't help but wonder just what he had done to deserve a fate as cruel as this - just what Gods had he offended?
Didn't they realise there was only so much one person could take?
He was so damn tired of having his heart broken over and over again, and being able to do absolutely nothing about it.
It was a wonder he could even find it in himself to love still, but he knew it was inevitable.
Each lifetime he lived, finding and falling in love with the same person over and over again, only to lose it all and left with nothing save for star-shaped remnants of what he could only assume was his heart.
- 01 -
In the very first life he lived, he had the name that he referred to himself as no matter how many lifetimes since.
Su Muqiu.
He had been the elder brother to one other, both of them left alone in a world that was cruel to orphans like them.
Somehow, though, they managed to scrape through and survive.
The first time he saw him, the other was looking at him with a smirk on his lips and gold fire burning in his eyes.
"I'm Su Muqiu."
His offered hand was taken, a shiver passing along his spine.
"Ye Xiu."
His death was an inglorious end, the last thing he saw being the bright headlights of the speeding car before it slammed into him.
His eyes blinked open, and he found himself standing among a never-ending black expanse and holding something tight within his hand.
- 02 -
In the second life he lived, he had been a prince, a heir to a kingdom whose king ruled it with an iron fist.
He had been the complete opposite of his father, gentle and kind where the other was heavy-handed and cruel.
There were whispers of a rebellion approaching, discontent and anger rising in the people's hearts. Far as they were concerned, their tyrant king had to go for the betterment of all. The prince could become king afterwards, but not without restrictions that would make him nothing more than a puppet under their command.
If he had it his way, he would be neither prince or king and free to choose his own path.
He met him - now a her - on the night he planned to attempt an escape, the other one of many servants within the castle walls that he had never seen before.
He hated the look within those dull amber eyes, ones of a person who had been broken one too many times, and he wondered just how long she had been here; how long could he have saved her from the fate she apparently was wrought?
"Come with me," He whispered to her, trying to ignore the way she trembled beneath his hand, "We can start new lives together, away from here."
"I can't," She finally responded, a strength in her words that took him aback, the smallest of smiles curving her lips.
For the briefest of moments she looked as he remembered him looking, his grip slackening enough for her to jerk her arm free and offer a whispered, "Run."
Then he was stumbling off to the side as she gave him a particularly hard shove, and he turned back to her in time to see a dagger impale itself in her chest.
- 03 -
Lives three through nine were all relatively short ones, and in some way he had been glad. The oldest age he lived to among them had been five, but at least he hadn't had to suffer losing him again all those times.
- 04 -
In the tenth life he once more was known as Su Muqiu, and he now lived in a world that seemed to rule itself on the idea of 'second genders'.
He himself had Presented as an Omega, and when he met Ye Xiu this time around, it turned out he, too, was one.
"Does it matter what the world thinks?" He had asked, confession having fallen from his lips, "Who needs them, when we can have each other?"
"The world isn't as simple as that," The other replied, "I wish it was, but it isn't. Not with who we are, not with what we are."
He didn't care, he wanted to tell him, but the words refused to be spoken.
"Then let me have you here, within these walls, where there is no one to judge us but ourselves."
For the second time in his lives, he saw those beautiful eyes turn dull, sadness heavy within their judging gaze, "I can't. I want to, but I can't."
Then he was gone, and he wanted nothing more than to slam his fist into the wall and scream.
- 05 -
Su Muqiu stared at the scattering of stars about him, each one a testament of his failure to have and to love.
So many, there were so many, all mocking his cursed existence.
His heart was growing heavier each time he returned to this place, each time he saw the once pitch-black void light up even further as another of his heart's shards littered its expanse.
- 06 -
In his fourty-second life, he held onto a hope that perhaps this time, this time, he would find the happiness denied to him all previous ones.
He should of known it wasn't meant to be, the object of his affection turning her gaze onto another man without even a second glance his way.
She had been the princess this time, and he but a knight in her father's court. He shouldn't be too surprised, but still...
Just when would he obtain his happy ending?
Was it even written in the stars for him to achieve one?
- 07 -
Life sixty-six was both a blessing and a curse.
"I love you," He whispered against his ear, the other laid out beneath him. His hands fluttered over the pale and lithe form, fingertips brushing against the skin that had been denied him too many times before.
Those eyes he loved so much were hidden behind soaked fabric, tears trickling down his cheek.
"So beautiful," He groaned, running a tongue along a flushed cheek, licking up its salty tracks, "Too beautiful..."
His head lowered, kissing the pale column of a neck, lips feeling the erratic pulse beneath them.
"Too tempting..."
His mouth parted, and he sank his fangs into the offered flesh, groaning at the sweet ambrosia that was the other's blood.
Life sixty-six was a blessing because he finally got what he had wanted all this time, but it was a curse because who could be happy with nothing more than a mindless slave?
- 08 -
He stood atop a familiar hillside, standing before a grave where his own once stood all those lifetimes ago.
His hand reached out, fingers brushing against the cool surface of the tombstone.
"Ye Xiu, when will this end?"
Tears were falling down his cheeks, but he didn't care - how could he care?
"Over and over again, I find you only to lose you. Over and over again, I find you only to be denied."
He fell to his knees.
"I don't know how much more I can take of this, it's just an endless cycle I can't seem to escape from."
His hand trembled as he pressed it flat against the etched characters of the person who, it seemed, would forever hold his heart hostage.
"Why can't I stop loving you?"
- 09 -
He returned after dying for the hundredth time, but this time? This time it was different.
He wasn't alone.
Whoever the other was didn't seem to notice him, back turned as it was, a pale hand with familiar long fingers releasing its burden to join the others.
His own fingers clenched tight about the star-shard within his own hand.
"I'm so tired of this," Familiar words he had spoken so many times were now spoken in a familiar voice that wasn't his own, and as he watched the outstretched hand trembled before falling.
"I'm tired, too," He heard himself respond, causing the other to turn around with a startled gasp.
Their eyes met, the same exhaustion heavy within their gazes and the same heaviness weighing down their shoulders.
He stepped forward, one step after the other, closing the distance between them until he stood right before the shorter male.
"How long?"
"This was my hundredth."
"..." His head tilted, "Mine too."
For a moment, the two just stared at one another before the dark-haired male spoke again.
"I thought, all this time, that these star-shards were what remained of a broken heart, and perhaps I'm not incorrect in that line of thinking.
"But, perhaps all this time, it wasn't pieces of my own heart I had been collecting, but yours."
("I just wanted you to love me."
"I just wanted to be loved by you."
"I just want to be able to dictate my own destiny."
"I just want to be able to live and die by your side.")
He drew the other into his arms, their embrace tight, and as he bowed his head to brush a kiss to willing lips, his hand opened and allowed the star-shard within them to fall.
It suspended mid-drop and began to glow along with all the others surrounding the pair, the remaining darkness lingering in this plane of existence burned out by the resulting heat and explosion of light.
- 10 -
It had been another productive day at the cafe, and Su Muqiu whistled happily to himself as he gathered up the pile of bills besides his station.
Mucheng and him wouldn't have to worry about food for at least a week with how well it went today!
He had just stuffed the remainder into the pocket of his jacket when there was the sound of footsteps, and he glanced over his shoulder to see a pale hand with slender fingers clutching tight to the strap of a backpack.
Swallowing the sudden lump in his throat, he slowly raised his eyes to meet the other's, breath catching at the familiar fire burning within golden eyes.
"Ye Xiu?"
The other blinked, and then smiled.
"Muqiu."
(For the briefest of moments, within their mind's eyes, they were back in that place that held so much sadness and loneliness and pain, hearts mangled and torn asunder from the lives that they lived.
Then there was first one glow sparking into life, then another until the entirety of their vision was awash in radiant light as the star-shards pulsed in time to their heartbeats.
One by one, the stars winked out of existence, as each gathered by the other's hand returned to their companion, until both their hearts were mended and whole once more.)