Chapter 3

There were many moments in Alana's life where she was incredibly happy, mainly after her introduction to the wizarding world (after all she didn't really remember her time with her parents). But her happiness was always tainted by a constant shadow of worry and anxiety. Looking back on them now, she can say that she would not give up those moments for anything because though they were bittersweet, they held a special place in her heart.

Her moving in with Andromeda had been one of those moments. After the war, she got stuck in the whirlwind of life. There was too much happening at the same time, the reestablishment of the ministry, reconstruction of Hogwarts, rehabilitation of Muggle-borns and half-bloods alike who'd borne the worst brunt of the war, to name a few. And people wanted her to be involved in everything.

Despite being told that she did not owe anyone anything multiple times, in the end, her hero complex won and she became the mascot (Celebrity) she swore she'd never become. She plastered a smile on her face and persuaded (threatened in case of death eater suspects) people to donate funds to get the British ministery back on its feet again. It worked too well, no one wanted to say no to the woman who, supposedly, saved them.

So she worked and worked until her cheeks hurt from plastering of smiles and her feet formed blisters due to the high heels Ginny forced her to wear. But it was all worth it, all the pain and the worries because at the end of the day she got to go home and cuddle her godson until his soft coos and babbling turned into yawns and they both fell asleep.

It reminded her what she was fighting for and she was so glad that she moved in with Andromeda when she did. On the other hand, there were the days when she was on the verge of a breakdown when her throat would choke with sobs and she'd have to continuously stop herself from bursting into tears.

They were the days when she held her toddling godson whose body burned with fever and whose whimpers made her cry and she prayed to whatever entity was out there to save him, she wished that she could just take his pain away. And she wouldn't sleep until the morning arrived and his fever broke putting him into a deep sleep.

Those days still haunted her, they replaced the war in her dreams and the peace in her soul.

She sometimes wondered how long Andromeda could have taken care of Teddy if she hadn't extended the tentative invitation of residence to Alana. Because when Alana moved in she could tell that the older woman was at the end of her tether, she was broken hearted and mourning. She couldn't take care of a child on her own, especially on his sick days. It made the arrangement perfect for them both, it gave Alana something to go back home to and it gave Andromeda a new purpose.

"Did you visit Andromeda, Alana? What is she working on? The poor dear is so busy these days, a visit would do her some good I think."

Alana emerged from her thoughts with a start. Right. Andromeda.

"Yes of course," She took a sip from the tea to give herself a moment to think." The unspeakables, as you know, can not speak of their work but I believe she's working on studying the cells of a lycan at the microscopic level to find the changes it undergoes during the transformation which is why she doesn't have much time these days. I could barely keep her for thirty minutes before she was called in."

Molly rubbed her hands on her apron and started mixing the batter again, a soft smell of vanilla already penetrated the air from where the other tray of cookies was baking. She hummed in agreement, "Well in a way I'm glad she's workin' hard. It's keeping her mind off of things."

Alana nodded and gulped down the last of the tea, she looked down into the tea leaves and smiled ruefully, " The cross and the sun. Sorrow and Happiness." She cleaned the cup with a twirl of her wand, "What's new about that." and with a sigh, she leaned back into the sofa from where she was watching Molly work.

"Hows the stomach?"

Alana rubbed a hand over the soft material of her shirt and caressed her stomach as if willing it to calm down, "Much better," She grimaced, " at least I don't feel like throwing up anymore."

Molly turned concerned eyes towards her, "And the fever?"

"Hasn't started yet, thank god." She picked up the next letter in the pile Molly had collected over the years.

Dear Miss Alana Potter Madam,

Alana smiled a little.

My name is Ryan Whit. I am eight years old. I lost a tooth yesterday. Today hour teacher Miss Wilks said to write a letter to a hero so this is my letter.Tank you sooo much and I love you.

Alana ran a finger over the parchment where the boy's name was written. Ryan Whit. She thought over the name for a while, it seemed familiar. Did he live at the sanctuary? She made a mental note to ask Miss Wilkins to send her the updated list, it was about time she visited.

"So," Molly began in a nonchalant manner. Alana allowed the small note to fall on her lap, she mentally prepared herself for the scolding.

"Did you go to the fair you were talking about?"

Alana's mind screeched to a halt, "Wait, What?" That was...that was not what she was expecting.

Molly looked a bit confused, " The fair, Alana"

Alana had to take a second before she could bring her thoughts to her lips, "You're not going to tell me how upset you are that I canceled the party?"

If it was possible, Molly's face softened a bit more. "I didn't ask you to visit to go off on you, dear. I just want to know what's going on with you. That's all I've ever asked for."

There was silence. And despite Molly's words, it was an accusing silence.

Heat crept up her cheeks as Alana bowed her head a little. Her eyes burned, she blinked rapidly to chase away the moisture. It was one thing to know that she'd hurt her loved ones with her silence over the years and another to see how much she'd hurt them.

She wrapped an arm around herself. She shouldn't even complain, she deserved all the blunt words thrown at her.

She had imagined many times how she would have felt if Hermione or Ron had taken off suddenly with only gifts and a single letter coming at the beginning of Hogwarts term. The constant worry and anxiety would have hurt more than the silence. But even after knowing how horrible it must be for them, she could never bring herself to set foot back into Europe. It was too much. It still was.

There was a soft sigh, a soft movement of feet on the wooden floor. Then a soft hand touched her cheek. Lips pressed against her warm forehead, Alana controlled the sob that fought to escape her lips. She looked up into gentle brown eyes.

"But you're here now, my child. And that's all that matters. Take all the time you need, we'll be waiting and all of us will be right there by your side. Just like we always are, yes?"

Alana gave a small nod, Molly pulled her into her arms for a short hug before turning towards the kitchen again. At the entrance of the kitchen she turned and said, "Take some pepper up will you dear, you feel a bit peaky."

Alana hmm'd in reply, she could take the pepper up now but there was a set dose you could take in a day and she knew she might need it for later so decided not to. God, she hated full moons. She decided to bundle up a little more instead.

And with warm cookies, comforting hugs and the feeling of being 'home' Alana spent her morning and afternoon at one of the places she called home.

When Alana finally managed to get away, it was about 5 in the afternoon. The sun was setting. She missed the long days in South Asia when the sun kept the cold and the moonlight at bay as she took off her jacket walking into their apartment with a light heart but a raging headache.

She stilled and listened for a second before concluding that Hermione wasn't back yet, it wasn't anything new. Over the last month, she'd gotten used to Hermione's late timetable though, a treacherous part of her still hoped that Hermione had decided to come back early today.

A cold wind nipped at her exposed neck, Alana glowered at the open window and closed it with a casual wave of her wand. She shivered a bit and trudged towards her room falling in her soft bed with a sigh of exhaustion.

She should get some work done...but it was always easier when she slept through the worst stages. With her mind made, Alana put the pepper up in her hand on the side table and pulled the covers over her body. She'd most likely kick them off when her body overheated but it was relaxing for now.

She hated the cold.

Her eyelids felt heavy and before she knew it she drifted into a restless sleep.

It was a large bright room, or ballroom if you will, that Alana found herself in this time. The light reflected off golden panels casting an ethereal glow over the whole room. Alana thought it was rather pretentious. It might have appeared as beautiful if she wasn't on the verge of throwing up.

Alana didn't bother to make too much fuss this time, it was quite clear she was having another vision (Dream?) So, she just moved away from the table whose middle she had appeared in and leaned against one of the walls. It was at this time that harsh breathing and grunting brought her attention to two figures fighting on a mat on the far side of the room.

They looked...mesmerizing. The dark haired figure darted around the golden one in an elaborate dance of dodging and attacking. She could swear that at one point she saw a clone of the dark-haired men fighting by his side. Her eyes stayed hooked on them until finally, the dark-haired man (most likely a wizard) pinned the other one to the floor, the dagger in his hand resting against the blond's neck.

Alana allowed a small tired smile to appear on her lips.

There was a loud roar of laughter, "Again, Brother! But, " The blonde shouted. Alana winced rubbing her forehead. "without cheating with your tricks this time." he continued in a slightly mocking and disapproving voice.

Alana started in incredulity. What an asshole!

She glared at him even if he couldn't hear see her but there was a sudden pull below her navel and the next second she was standing in Mystery Man's laboratory again. She was sitting on her designated spot on the stairs.

She contemplated trying to slip back into sleep on the stairs (Maybe that'd help her 'wake up') but she was too restless to sleep. With a sigh she looked around instead, the lab looked empty, Mister Rude was nowhere to be seen. A quick glance at the door at the end of the stairs and she came to the conclusion that he must be upstairs, the door was open after all.

It took her total of 15 seconds to convince herself that she should go explore, after all, who knows when she'd get to come back. She was feverish, her head hurt like hell and all she wanted was to rest but she did want to know what was beyond that door. She was here might as well satisfy her curiosity. So with a small grunt of pain, she stood up swaying a little on her feet and made her way to the door.

"Here goes nothing," She stumbled a little on the doorway and entered the..house? Huh, the lab was located in a house, it was probably the engineer's home. The house was beautiful and just like the battle room she wished she was able to appreciate its beauty. With a shake of her head, she started going from room to room making a map in her mind all the while trying not to feel like a creep.

"Well, it's not like I am here by choice." She reassured herself, "And since I am stuck here, there is no harm in looking." With that, she took another left and entered what looked to be the living room. The carpet was fluffy and luxurious, it was a pity she couldn't really feel it.

And there in the middle of the room, the man of the house was sprawled on the carpet laying on his stomach. He was wearing a soft green shirt which looked so soft that if it belonged to one of her family members she would have stolen it for herself.

Alana decided this was her spot, all that walking made her tired. She was just going to watch him work for a little while. She walked a little bit closer and sat down on the floor crossing her legs under her.

The man was doing something on the periodic table. She did catch up on her studies enough to realize that but she had no idea what exactly he was doing, his hands moved too fast for her to concentrate on what he was putting together and after a while, she just gave up and decided to study his expression instead.

He looked...agitated.

Alana leaned forward a little bit. Yep, definitely agitated. His eyebrows furrowed and he was very quiet, somehow she felt like he was usually a very talkative person. Maybe his project was worrying him?

"The combination appears to be unstable, Sir." The spirit spoke and Alana had to consciously stop herself from stiffening. The voice was...unsettling to say the least.

The man grunted, swiping away the screens in front of him. "I'mma mess, J. Give me something to distract me, darlin'" He rubbed at his chest absently. Alana's eyes followed the motion, his hands had several burn marks on them, marks of a hard working man.

"Miss Potts called, she wanted to confirm your attendance for the board meeting tomorrow. She also wished to remind you that you've run out of your 'Get out of jail free' cards "

The man groaned, " Can't I play an 'I'm Tony Stark' card? Is there one, there should be." He ran a hand through his hair, "Keep running the stimulator, Jarv."

"Yes, sir."

The man, now named Tony Stark, stretched a little before getting back to work. Alana watched his hands move over the screens, his movements were rhythmic in a weird sort of way. It was...claming. She uncrossed her legs with a wince. The floor looked quite inviting.

She laid down on the floor watching him through half-lidded eyes, she almost vomited when a sudden wave of nausea hit her but thankfully it passed. It only took her a few seconds to fall into sleep, this time a normal dreamless sleep that actually allowed her to rest.