AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Because Eri asking, "How do you smile again?" made me look back at Izuku from the beginning of the series and I thought oh, he never really smiled that much before did he and OH CRAP FEELS aannndd I just made myself sad. So tada, it became this.

Title def snatched from that Final Fantasy VII novella lol. It was very fitting for this meta of a fanfic hah. Enjoy?

ʜᴀᴢᴇ © October 2018 × My Hero Academia © Kohei Horikoshi

ON THE WAY TO A SMILE
Chapter 1: Side IM

With everything that happened in his life so far,

is there a reason to smile, really?

Izuku Midoriya never really smiled.

At most, his mouth draws into a thin line while murmuring his thoughts, shapes itself to a wince upon hearing any form of (crackling) loud sounds, weirdly outlines during a nervous (or terrified) laugh at any chance he encountered someone or something he'd rather avoid but faces anyway.

The only instances at the time that Izuku's expression had any semblance of a supposed smile are:

One, when he full-on geeks out information regarding pro heroes or being a hero someday;
(His developed 'ability' of analyzing quirks, situations and surroundings is something he's decided and diligently worked on to somewhat compensate on the fact he's Quirkless. Yes, he was a bit in denial at the time.)

Two, when he wants to give reassurance to his mother Inko that everything was alright in school;
(It wasn't; and Inko somewhat knew, but pushes the gut feeling down and trusts her son to tell her if anything was wrong.
But she didn't need to know Izuku had been bullied and picked on for years because he was Quirkless.)

Three, when that one stranger beside him during a hero vs. villain fight offhandedly questioned if he's aiming to be a pro hero himself, and told him "Good luck".
(He'll never know if it was said seriously or in jest as he mumbled away some pros and cons upon seeing Mt. Lady's Gigantification Quirk. Still, he'll take any form of encouragement.

Ironic, though, how being 'normal' now composed of having a special ability that must manifest at age four, and that having none was nothing short of a travesty.)

From the day the doctor declared he was Quirkless, his smile faded little by little as each day passed - Along with the light that he used to have, the energy that brought life to the Midoriya household. Even with the fact that All Might, the hero he idolizes most, carries the biggest and most blinding smile as his trademark feature.

(That smile which exuded confidence and safety to those he is about to help. That wide, wide grin serving more of a warning to the wrong-doers All Might was about to face. Ever more so than the strength his muscled physique displayed, or his height towering over most.)

It was something Izuku definitely tried to embody as much as his little four-year-old self could muster as he played and mimicked his Number One Hero. But, as time went on, Izuku's own smile lost its brilliance. The accompanying shine in his eyes progressively dulled until all it is are eyebags that had formed, and how sunken those once emerald-colored eyes looked.

Somehow, 'smiling' now felt like a chore: A strain, an action that he had to put much effort to do. Or, at least, when he attempts to. Attempts to.

Still, Izuki tries: If only to lessen the sad, sad expression on Inko's face. Her own green eyes brimmed with unshed tears ever so often as she smoothed his unruly hair mixed of black and curled green streaks; whispering him soft, sweet nothings and lovingly patting his freckled cheeks.

(He heard it between the words, though: Her now-silent apologies. Her guilt that she somewhat caused his Quirklessness. How she thinks she took his dreams of becoming a hero away from him.
He would find himself avoiding eye contact and opting to stare at his mother's own shoulder-length green hair instead, focusing on how its shade is of a lighter hue - as her eyes became always as pained as his.

. . . As her smile now always seemed to have a melancholic note in it.

He wanted her to know it's not her fault.

He wanted her to understand that he never did, andnever will, blame her for this situation.

He wanted her to feel that he loves her more than she believes -

- But how he wished she had told him something else instead of her unspoken 'I'm sorry' s.)

He then wondered: Can he, Izuku Midoriya, still be a hero despite him being Quirkless?

Can he, Izuku Midoriya, still be the hero he so aspired to be, despite him not being able to smile like All Might does?

… How does one smile again?

It's somehow lost its meaning and purpose on Izuku along the way.

Especially upon that chance encounter with All Might that day under the bridge.

Especially when the All Might, of all people, with that one important question Izuku had always dreamed of asking him,

"Even without a Quirk, can someone become a hero like you?"

Was given the answer he always dreaded .

"... No. I should think not."

Funny how a single word or phrase can cause one to feel like his wings, already battered and bruised, were yet again clipped and had himself his head the harsh reality he was supposed to start accepting.

Stripping Izuku entirely of any reason to smile.

Funny how, within that same day, when his legs moved before he could think, when his body immediately responded to save his classmate (friend?) from the Sludge Villain despite his situation - despite him being Quirkless - that the same man who initially told him 'No' would then say that his impulsive act has reminded All Might of his own preaching.

That ... "Yes, you can be a hero ."

Maybe he was asked to stop flying with his current wings because it needed healing - And be given another source of strength; for him to soar into the skies, higher than he ever imagined.

At least, that's one way Izuku had thought of it after All Might asked him to be his successor. After months of being trained by him in preparation of taking the U.A. High School entrance exams. Also, in order to hone Izuku to receive a gift he never thought he'd ever be a recipient of: The gift of a Quirk named One for All .

Upon accepting it, Izuku understands he'll be very much left behind in comparison to his future classmates ( If he would pass, a small voice in his mind says; brushed aside to not lose focus). They have had a lifetime of knowing their Quirks, whereas he didn't have that luxury.

Thus the exam came and went, and the waiting game soon began. He knew Inko was as anxious as he was during the results week, and he appreciated greatly how involved she was throughout: Fixing up his meals according to the meal plan All Might has devised, synchronizing and adjusting preparation time to match his training schedule … Her once unvoiced apologies slowly morphed into silent support and cheers. Izuku wasn't sure he would have been able to pull through without it.

At his own assessment, he probably barely passed the written portion of the exam, but for the practical one . . . He didn't get to destroy any robots as required apart from the Zero-Pointer one, so there's that.

He probably should have used One For All on robots with actual points instead, but Izuku has absolutely no regrets doing so to save that nice girl he met at the school gates before the exams started. Broken arm and leg bones be damned.

Although … he does feel like he failed the trust and faith placed in him by the two people who believed in him (three, if he stretches to count the nice girl).

But then Izuku actually does manage to get into U.A. High School. Right there and then it hit him that he was truly at the beginning steps of his dream. Another confirmation that yes , he can be a hero .

It was as if everything he had now snowballed from that day of the Sludge Villain incident.

Sometimes, Izuku still can't help but think he is undeserving of all the good (and somewhat bad, but eventually resulted with something good) he has received so far. All the mistakes made, lessons learned, happy accidents.

And so he vowed to continue to work even harder; almost always never content, drilling himself to be worthy of all these. To be better than the best he has been so far. To be the best that he could possibly be ... And maybe a little bit more.

Admittedly, he was still a nervous bundle of energy, still somewhat flinches at loud noises or voices, still has some difficulty at making eye contact (whether in conversation or anything that might need it). There's a lot more things to work on for sure, apart from handling his Quirk.

But then he remembers All Might: His reassuring smile, undeniable zeal and guidance that helped him get through his toughest times. Continues to do so until now, and for the days to come.

And then he recalls his mother while he was preparing to leave for his first day at U.A. High:

She beamed - Inko beamed at him as she said,

"You look great." ("I'm so proud of you.")

Hearing both meaning of her words.

Finally seeing that small smile he missed so much after a long, long time.

It took all Izuku had to not cry right there. Instead, he mustered up what he could, and let out what he hoped was a shaky version of a grin.

Someday . . .

Will he be able to save someone's smile, too?

Will his smile be able to save someone, too?

... Izuku Midoriya never really smiled.

But maybe . . . Just, maybe, he's on his way to getting there.

ANOTHER A/N lol:

"BUT WHERE IS ERI OR CLASS 1-A IN ALL THIS?"

Say hello to next chapter(s) yohoho /Finger guns

(I'm still typing it out fam rest assured I feel my soul dying a little bit the longer I try to sort out how I want to go about Izuku and Eri's chapter AHH H TALK TO ME ABOUT THE POSSIBILITIIIEEESSSS)

Initially planned this as a long one-shot, but a number of elements seemed better mentioned as a separate chapter. And then outlining made me see more details I wanted to explore. Oops.

Thanks to my forever bruh nllustration for being fantastic in general and checking this for me despite not (yet) being in the fandom lol!

Thank you for being such an enabler to my erratic muse.