Tuxedo Cat

Author's Note: Thanks to a review from JustNerdyEnough, I got this insane idea of Chat Noir being granted similar powers to Tuxedo Mask from Sailor Moon. Sorry if I offend any fans of Sailor Moon, this is just for giggles.

Chat Noir was in a fine mood as he leapt from building to building, anticipating yet another fabulous night on patrol with his ladylove. Yet this time it would be different, there would be no more dancing around each other, tonight he was going to formally ask her on a date. In his hand he held a single red rose, he would have taken a bunch but they were too awkward to carry when travelling via pole vault.

Instead he held the rose between his teeth, seductively smirking like the Casanova he pretended to be. But when it came to the fairer sex, Chat Noir wasn't particularly experienced or knowledgeable. In essence he didn't need to be. Out of the mask he was a highly lusted after male model, so he didn't need to try with girls. They just kind of threw themselves at him. But with Ladybug he was the one doing the chasing, and he loved it.

The romantic in him strived to win her heart. He just prayed that he wasn't destined to emulate Pepe Le Pew. No, never that. Plagg was the one with the stench problem, at least when he wanted his fragrant cheeses. Anyway, his train of thought was going off on a tangent. Tonight, was about him and Ladybug and lots of romance.

Oops, his teeth were threatening to dig into the stem of the rose as his grin widened. As usual, Chat Noir was first to their meeting place and considered the best way to pose for Ladybug's arrival. Did he lean nonchalantly against the chimney, crossing his ankles to accentuate his legs, while crossing his arms to prop up his biceps? Hmm, or he could pretend to stretch, showing off both his arms and his back while trailing his hands through his gleaming blonde locks.

Unfortunately, Chat Noir was so caught up in his thoughts that he completely missed the opportunity to pose at all. Ladybug landed with a light thud, startling him enough to drop the rose from his teeth and into his hand. "Good evening, milady," he beamed as he tucked the rose behind his back.

"Hi, Chat," she said with a casual wave as she flicked open her yoyo. "So, I think we're due to do patrol route three. Are you ready?"

Toeing the ground, Chat Noir looked sheepishly at his partner. "Actually, milady, there's something I was wanting to ask you."

"Oh," Ladybug said, with the lift of her masked eyebrow. "What is it?"

Chat Noir revealed the rose from behind his back and presented it to her. "Ladybug, I was thinking-"

"No. We've been through this before, Chat. No dating. Things between us stay professional."

"But-"

"No buts."

"But your butt looks so fine in that outfit."

"Chat Noir, if we were in a real workplace we'd be talking about sexual harassment."

He smirked, "Yet I haven't even harassed you about sex."

Ladybug groaned as she slapped her palm to her forehead. "Chat Noir, when are you going to get it through your thick skull that I'm not interested."

"When are you going to realise that what lies behind this mask is smoking hot and yearning for you?" he grinned as he polished his knuckles on his chest.

The heroine pulled at her dual pigtails. "Chat Noir."

"Yes."

"Listen to me very carefully, I will only say this once."

"Okay."

"I am never going to date you, ever. Alright. Stop pestering me and let's do patrol."

Chat Noir pouted with his bottom lip poking out. "But bugaboo…"

"Patrol, Chat Noir. Now."

"Oh, alright."

Outwardly, Chat Noir put on a show of being his usual jovial self, but inside he was falling apart. Ladybug didn't want him. She wasn't mucking around, she wasn't playing hard-to-get. She genuinely wasn't attracted to him, and he didn't know what to do with that. In all the years of their partnership, it had never occurred to him that she wouldn't find him sexy. He was a highly sort after model, wearing skin tight black leather and she was forever yanking his tail.

Cold hard reality was making his chest hurt, like someone had plunged a knife into his heart and twisted it for good measure. Sure, it was an overly used cliché, but Chat Noir was feeling it. His pace slowed, his feline ears drooped and his tail hung low. What was the point in following her? Nothing was going to happen tonight. There'd been no akuma sightings and Ladybug wasn't interested in his intellectually challenging puns.

So, Chat Noir dropped to his haunches and studied the rose that was meant to be the key to his romantic dreams and endeavours. Tears began pooling in his eyes as he considered plucking the petals one by one while chanting, "she loves me, she loves me not." In his sinking despair, while totally ignorant of his surroundings, Chat Noir failed to notice the tainted butterfly heading his way.

He almost screamed like a banshee when the akuma merged into the rose he was holding. "What the hell!"

"Tuxedo Cat, I am Hawkmoth."

"My name is Chat Noir, douche."

"Not anymore, you will be known as Tuxedo Cat."

"But there's not a spot of white on me anywhere." Chat Noir pointed out while indicating with his hand.

"There will be when I morph you."

"That's stuff is messed up, man."

"Shut up, Chat Noir. I mean Tuxedo Cat. I'm going to give you the power to encourage and praise those around you. If they ignore your words, your roses will explode."

"What the? That is like the lamest superpower ever. At least give me fricking laser beams to shoot out my eyes."

"Chat Noir."

"Yes."

"Listen, I'm basing your transformation on this guy named Tuxedo Mask from a kids' show called Sailor Moon. The heroine is totally into this mysterious masked guy who throws roses at her and encourages her with boosts of self-esteem. The point is, she loves the guy. You want that with Ladybug, right?"

"Um, yeah."

"Just go with me on this."

"Oh alright, hang on, wait! You're going to akumatise me! Ladybug is going to be pi-" But Chat Noir was cut off by Hawkmoth transforming him into Tuxedo Cat.

Ladybug was several blocks away before she realised she was missing her partner. It was the tranquil silence that should have given it away sooner, although it wouldn't be the first time that Chat Noir had gotten distracted by a random rat or mouse running in the alleyways below. Or sometimes he would find something lying on the edge of the rooftop and would have to sit there, gently batting it with his claws until it fell, then he'd sit and watch with a look of extreme satisfaction on his face. It was a cat thing, apparently.

Stopping in her tracks, Ladybug didn't realise anything was immediately wrong until she saw a caped figure leaping across the rooftops like a male ballet dancer. Frowning, the heroine placed her hands on her hips, ready to rouse on her partner for pilfering from the theatre rejects again when he came into the light.

Chat Noir didn't look right. His mask was now white and he had a matching streak of white down the centre of his chest, to the end of his torso zip. His gloves and boots were also white, while the rest of him remained the familiar black, with the exception of the additional cape. And he was also holding the rose which kind of glowed with an ominous pulse.

"What is that?" Ladybug asked while pointing at the outfit with a cocked eyebrow.

"The question should be who is that, as I am Tuxedo Cat. Let me impress upon you, how wonderfully confident you are, milady." And with that he plucked a rose petal from his flower, which transformed into a second rose, and he threw it at her feet.

"Um, okay. Thanks. I guess."

"Believe in the power of positivity, or suffer the exploding consequences." Tuxedo Cat warned with the point of his clawed finger.

"You do know it's not a dress up day, Chat."

He placed his hands on his hips. "The name is Tuxedo Cat."

"But that's lame."

"I know, I told Hawkmoth so, but he said I'm like that anime dude Tuxedo Mask."

"And that makes it better how?"

"My roses explode and his don't. Plus, I've never been kidnapped."

"I'm disturbed that you know so much about Sailor Moon. Wait, you said your roses explode?"

"Yep."

"Oh crap," Ladybug cursed as she sprung away, just as the rose exploded.

For the next hour, Ladybug and Tuxedo Cat raced across the rooftops. By this point the heroine had her hands over her ears, no longer being able to stand Tuxedo Cat's continued praise about believing in herself, of being stronger than she thought and of having the most luscious legs bestowed upon womankind.

She had to end this akuma and she had to do it now. The problem was that damn rose seemed to have an unlimited number of petals, as soon as he plucked the last one, the flower flushed in a bright glow and restored all the missing petals.

Stopping, Ladybug turned to face Tuxedo Cat. "What is it you actually want, kitty cat?"

He frowned at her and shook his head scoldingly. "Tuxedo Cat, that's my akuma name."

"Whatever."

"I just want your love, Ladybug. I want to hold you in my arms, kiss your succulent lips-"

"Yeah, yeah I get the idea." Crossing her arms across her chest, Ladybug strode towards him. "So, will you give me that rose if I kiss you?"

Tuxedo Cat looked to the flower in his hands as Hawkmoth's voice entered his head. "She's trying to trick you, Tuxedo Cat."

"And your point is?"

"You need to get her miraculous."

"Hmm, a kiss or a pair of earrings. I'm all for the kiss."

"Don't listen to her, or I'll remove your powers."

"And you think I have a problem with that? I have my own miraculous, I can destroy stuff with a single touch. It's much better than his exploding rose rubbish."

"Well excuse me, I'm a single father doing the best I can with limited time and ideas. Give me a break." Hawkmoth snapped.

"Wow, he's touchy." Tuxedo Cat said with a roll of his eyes. By this point he hadn't even noticed that Ladybug had plucked the rose from his hands, stomped it under her foot and was cleansing the tainted butterfly. "Gah, stupid Hawkmoth, so busy ranting that I completely missed out on that kiss."

Ladybug shook her head at her partner as the magic of Hawkmoth disappeared and the regular attire of her partner returned. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm glad to have you back to normal, Chat Noir."

"Do I get a kiss?"

"Oh, what the hell. Come here."

I hope I made you laugh, I was having a good chuckle writing this. Also for those reading my other story 'A Piece of my Heart' rest assured that I am not akumatising Chat Noir. Far too cliche.

Thanks for reading, please feel free to tell me what you think in the review box below. You legend. Believe in yourself and always avoid exploding roses! XD