DISCLAIMER: Because some people were confused by this, I want to make it clear that this is NOT a serious, canon chapter of (Never) Alone. This is just a silly kittle joke chaoter I decided to do after some of my readers expressed a desire to see Itachi get the "7 Page Muda Treatment" (their words). Honestly I might delete this as it's not really necessary and kind of stupid. We'll see.

Evangelion

(Never) Alone

By Rollinaround

Episode 21.2121

The Beast That Shouted "MUDA" At The Heart Of The World

Shinji stood proudly on top of Itachi Tower, staring down the bastard who brought him so much pain

"It's over." Shinji told him. "You've lost. The city is free, your men are dead, and your Shriekers have all been destroyed, with the power of my「STAND」!"

A tall, lanky spirt appeared beside the boy, it's skull-like head sitting atop a slender black and white body. It wore a long cape that appeared to be cut into ribbons, and it's chest was marked with a pair of black and white anchors. "「PLASTIC BEACH」!"

The Mayor trembled in fear as Shinji stepped forward, his aura shining brightly in the dim, early morning light. "P- please Mr Shinji! I'll do anything you ask! You can have the city; you can have everything! You- you need money? I can get you money! I've got all the cash in the world!" He began to laugh like a hyena, driven mad from sheer terror.

"Oh, please..." the boy sneered, "Do you really think you'd be that lucky? The debt you owe me... CAN'T BE PAID WITH MONEY!"

「PLASTIC BEACH」lunged at the Mayor, pummeling him in the chest with the force of a sledgehammer abd the speed of a gattling gun.

"MUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDA!"

Itachi tried to block 「PLASTIC BEACH'S」fists, but the「STAND」broke right through his guard, beating him in the face until it was warped and twisted.

"MUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDA!"

「PLASTIC BEACH」drove it's foot into the man's in the chest, breaking his ribs as it blasted him with block after blow until a straight kick to the chin launched him into the air.

"MUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDA!"

Shinji struck Itachi in the arms and legs, snapping them like rotten matchsticks. He kept the Mayor in the air with a flurry of punches, hitting him in the gut until his stomach resembled a deflated ballon.

"MUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDA!"

The Third Child tackled the old man out of the air, pinning him to the ground as his「STAND'S」cape morphed into a set of eight bulky arms and beat every inch of Itachi's body, breaking any bones left intact.

"WRRRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!"

The man was most likely dead by now, but Shinji was far from done. He had a lot to work through, and Itachi made an excellent punching bag. So he pulled the man up by his head and beat him with all ten arms. Each blow sounded like a magnum firing as he pummeled what was left of the Mayor until he simply got bored of it.

"MUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDA!"

Satisfied with his merciless beatdown,「PLASTIC BEACH」struck the Mayor with all of it's might, blasting the man backwards.

"MUDA!"

Ginjiro Itachi collided with his own helicopter, smashing the windows and leaving a huge dent in the side. The chopper fell from the building, taking the Mayor and exploded upon hitting the ground. If Itachi wasn't dead before, he certainly was now.

"It's over..." Shinji said, gazing up at the sky as the spirit of Wilson Clarke appeared in the clouds. "We did it Sensei: the nightmare is over."

The boy smiled to himself as he climbed down from Itachi Tower to meet his family. Soon, he would take his place on the throne of Elysium. But first, he would find Ren and Asuka, and-

Shinji woke up with a start in the Medical Ward above the AAA Wunder. "What? What happened?"

"You were dreaming." Ritsuko told him, bluntly. "We've been monitoring your brain for signs of Angelic contamination."

"I had the strangest dream." Shinji told her. "I had this weird kind of guardian spirit that was made from my own mental energy or something, and then it beat up Itachi with it's super powers. It looked like the 10th Angel too." The Vice Captain gave him a very concerned look.

"Shinji," she asked him, "While you were imprisoned by the Mayor, he didn't for you to... take anything did he?"

"No. Why?"

End Part 1

Ending Theme: "Watsername" by Green Day

Thought I ran into you down on the street

Then it turnes out to knly be a dream.

I made a point to burn all of the photographs.

She went away and then I took a different path.

I remember the face but I can't recall the name.

Now I wonder how Watsername has been.

The regrets are useless in my mind.

She's in my head I must confess.

The regrets are useless in my mind.

She's in my head so long ago.

And in that darkest night

If my memory serves me right

I'll never turn back time.

Forgetting you but not the time.

Because a surprising amount of people wanted to see Itachi get the 7 Page Muda treatment, a decided to take it to it's logical conclusion with this quick joke chapter. I'm sure this will come back to bite me when people read this story years from now but oh well. Hope you guys at least enjoyed my pathetic attempts at parody and humor.

Right, enough messing around. Time for me to get started on Part 2: Battle Tendency.

-Rollinaround