Disclaimer: This is my friend's story and she wanted me to upload it on here. She doesn't own these
characters.
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(Ron and Harry are sitting on the Hogwarts Express going to Hogwarts)
Ron: Yo, homeboy! How DID you get that scar?
Harry: Check it out, yo, I was fighting for this hott bitch on the streets of NYC, I was like: Yo MAMMA!
And this dude's like: Don't you be talkin' bout my MAMMA, son! You don't KNOW my momma, son!
Ron: Word. So who came home without the piece of ass?
Harry: Me, she said I was too skinny, yo.
Ron: Well you are kinda skinny.
Harry: Wanna say that to my face, bitch?
Ron: Bring it on, Slim Jim!
(Ron and Harry wrestle each other on the floor, by the time they are at Hogwarts;
they both have black eyes and bloody noses.)
Hermione: Ya'll be trippin'! How the hell did this happen, yo?
Harry: Ron was all like: you be skinny! And I'ma like, say that to my face bitch!
Ron: Hell naw!
Harry: I'ma gonna take you out, for real.
Ron: Shizzle my nizzle.
Harry: What the HELL, you don't even know what that means, yo.
Hermione: Yo, you say wizzle, 'cause you white, son!
Ron: Stop correcting me, bitch!
Hermione: Don't be hatin' on me, yo!
(Hermione, Ron, and Harry walk out in separate ways. Each of them has potions with Snape, and sit in
different corners of the room.)
Snape: Alrigh' bitches, this is the class where I speak, and ya'll listen!
Harry: (stands) Shut the hell up, old man!
Snape: Sit yo ass down!
Harry: You don't know me, don't go tellin' me what to do, wrinkly balls!
Snape: What you gonna do, boy, your friends be mad at you!
Ron: We ain't mad, I called him SKINNY, God damnit!
Snape: 150 fucking points from Gryffindor! How DARE you say the Lord's name in vain, son!
Ron: Go find a straw, 'cause you SUCK, yo!
Snape: Back to the lesson, before I take another 150 from the bitches in Gryffindor.
Who knows what Gillyweed is…? Hermione?
Hermione: Don't call me Hermione, bitch! My name's Shaniqua, yo!
Snape: Shut up ho, you sound like a rooster! Instead of saying: cock-a-doodle-doo, you be saying:
Any cock will do! Yeah, that's right, bitch!
Hermione: You homo! I'm gonna whoop yo ass, son!
Snape: Class is fucking dismissed!
(While walking out of potions, they see Draco Malfoy with Crabb and Goyle…)
Draco: Yo scar face, we've been lookin' fo' ya.
Harry: You best try not to mess with me, bitches!
Draco: Poor Harry Pothead didn't yo mamma tell you to lay off the crack?
Harry: You wanna buy some, bitch? Can you handle it?
Draco: I don't need drugs, yo!
Harry: Tha's right, your messed up enough as it is!
Draco: I'm still cool, 'least I got my crew.
Harry: Tha's right, fool, you got Crabs and GarGoyle, big deal, dildo munchers!
Draco: Come on, yo, I don't wanna catch a disease.
Harry: WUSS!
(Draco and his friends, quickly leave.)
characters.
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(Ron and Harry are sitting on the Hogwarts Express going to Hogwarts)
Ron: Yo, homeboy! How DID you get that scar?
Harry: Check it out, yo, I was fighting for this hott bitch on the streets of NYC, I was like: Yo MAMMA!
And this dude's like: Don't you be talkin' bout my MAMMA, son! You don't KNOW my momma, son!
Ron: Word. So who came home without the piece of ass?
Harry: Me, she said I was too skinny, yo.
Ron: Well you are kinda skinny.
Harry: Wanna say that to my face, bitch?
Ron: Bring it on, Slim Jim!
(Ron and Harry wrestle each other on the floor, by the time they are at Hogwarts;
they both have black eyes and bloody noses.)
Hermione: Ya'll be trippin'! How the hell did this happen, yo?
Harry: Ron was all like: you be skinny! And I'ma like, say that to my face bitch!
Ron: Hell naw!
Harry: I'ma gonna take you out, for real.
Ron: Shizzle my nizzle.
Harry: What the HELL, you don't even know what that means, yo.
Hermione: Yo, you say wizzle, 'cause you white, son!
Ron: Stop correcting me, bitch!
Hermione: Don't be hatin' on me, yo!
(Hermione, Ron, and Harry walk out in separate ways. Each of them has potions with Snape, and sit in
different corners of the room.)
Snape: Alrigh' bitches, this is the class where I speak, and ya'll listen!
Harry: (stands) Shut the hell up, old man!
Snape: Sit yo ass down!
Harry: You don't know me, don't go tellin' me what to do, wrinkly balls!
Snape: What you gonna do, boy, your friends be mad at you!
Ron: We ain't mad, I called him SKINNY, God damnit!
Snape: 150 fucking points from Gryffindor! How DARE you say the Lord's name in vain, son!
Ron: Go find a straw, 'cause you SUCK, yo!
Snape: Back to the lesson, before I take another 150 from the bitches in Gryffindor.
Who knows what Gillyweed is…? Hermione?
Hermione: Don't call me Hermione, bitch! My name's Shaniqua, yo!
Snape: Shut up ho, you sound like a rooster! Instead of saying: cock-a-doodle-doo, you be saying:
Any cock will do! Yeah, that's right, bitch!
Hermione: You homo! I'm gonna whoop yo ass, son!
Snape: Class is fucking dismissed!
(While walking out of potions, they see Draco Malfoy with Crabb and Goyle…)
Draco: Yo scar face, we've been lookin' fo' ya.
Harry: You best try not to mess with me, bitches!
Draco: Poor Harry Pothead didn't yo mamma tell you to lay off the crack?
Harry: You wanna buy some, bitch? Can you handle it?
Draco: I don't need drugs, yo!
Harry: Tha's right, your messed up enough as it is!
Draco: I'm still cool, 'least I got my crew.
Harry: Tha's right, fool, you got Crabs and GarGoyle, big deal, dildo munchers!
Draco: Come on, yo, I don't wanna catch a disease.
Harry: WUSS!
(Draco and his friends, quickly leave.)