Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail or My Hero Academia

Pairing(s): Natsu x Zeref

GENERAL WARNINGS: violence, shounan ai (boy/boy pairing); you have been warned so don't like, don't read

The Things We Dream

By V. Shalyr

11. Third Interlude

"You don't always know you have a passion for something until you start doing it. You don't have to have strong feelings about it, or be on some kind of mission from day one. Sometimes, the things you fall into by chance turn out to be the most important ones of all. As long as you go into it with a tiny bit of wonder, you're all set."

~ Kiyoko Shimizu, Haikyu, season 2 episode 3

Zeref's search for new hobbies had begun with yarn...

"You're learning to knit?" Natsu asked, slightly incredulous. He stood just inside the apartment's front door and hadn't yet removed his shoes. "Why?"

"It's apparently very popular these days, especially among people with high-stress jobs. It's supposed to be relaxing and productive."

Natsu raised an eyebrow, looking at the square of neat, ivory stitches. His partner tended to be quite good at most things he really put his mind to, but all the same, "I've never seen you wear anything in traditional

yarn. Do you even like knitted clothes?"

Where he sat on the pale blue couch, Zeref looked down at the bundle of yarn and considered it. "Not really. It tends to be too scratchy for me, and washing it can be complicated. Do you like knitted clothes?"

"Nope."

"Hmmm, maybe I should try something else then."

...But he took a few days to complete the simple scarf he had started anyway. He didn't like leaving things unfinished. The end product was still in their closet somewhere, neatly folded and never worn.

Zeref's foray into music hadn't lasted much longer. He wasn't a natural musician, and he had a very, very limited selection of potential teachers...

"Well," Natsu said grudgingly, "Gajeel plays the guitar, and he might know some things about other instruments too."

Zeref thought of the often grouchy Dragon Slayer and sighed. "No, that's okay."

...It wasn't like he was in any great hurry. Life wasn't a race, after all. Their first year had taught them that it was okay—even important—sometimes to slow down.

In the meantime, Natsu taught him to play ping pong, and Zeref started to watch some of the athletic competitions that his partner liked to watch on television, including the annual U.A. Sports Festival that he'd only bothered with before when Natsu was playing in them.

And, of course, you never knew what might happen in the meantime...

If there was one thing Zeref really liked about their apartment, aside from the large windows and amazing view, it was how bright the entire apartment was. With the window curtains pulled aside, morning light flooded the living room and gleamed atop the granite counters of the kitchenette in the corner. On mornings like this when they didn't have anywhere to be and didn't feel like going anywhere, he enjoyed just sitting by the window with a mug of coffee, watching the flow of traffic in the streets below and listening to something mindless on the television. Today, he'd left it on a music channel with the volume turned down low. He sort of wished he could hear the distant sounds of the city and the twitter of birds, but they were far too high up for that. Maybe he should try one of those nature soundtracks some people used as soothing background noise and see how that worked out.

He could hear Natsu moving about in the other room, searching for an old photo album that his father had asked for. Hmmm, maybe Zeref should go help him. He was probably the one who had put the album away when they moved in.

Zeref took another sip of the coffee then set the mug on the coffee table and went to join his partner in the bedroom.

"Have you looked on the top shelf in the closet?"

"I'm just about to start on that."

The closet door stood open, and Zeref made his way around it just in time to see his partner pull one of the books from the shelf that ran along the wall near the ceiling.

The Dragon Slayer glanced at the first page and said, "Hey, I didn't know you'd been writing stuff."

Zeref started. He'd completely forgotten about those notebooks.

The exclamation escaped his lips in a rush before he could stop it. "Don't read it!"

Natsu's eyebrows shot up. He lowered the notebook and looked over at him. "Why not?"

"It's... depressing."

Honestly, "depressing" was a tremendous understatement.

"It was... after that attack, and I was really... upset, and they told me to try writing things down to see if it helped..." Zeref trailed off and squirmed a bit under his partner's piercing stare. He'd been in a bad state then, and he didn't really want Natsu to know just how bad. Natsu could probably guess at some of it, but guessing and knowing weren't the same. "I'll... try to write some happier things, and you can read those instead—if you want."

Natsu narrowed his eyes and studied the other boy's face for a long moment. Eventually though, he shut the notebook and replaced it on the shelf.

"All right."

Zeref relaxed, relieved that Natsu wasn't going to push the issue. Although now, he'd gone and promised to write something cheerful. It was probably good practice for him, but when he sat down later that day to attempt it, he found himself drawing a complete blank.

How exactly did one go about writing something cheerful and lighthearted?

"Well," Levy said when he called her over the phone for advice, the blue-haired librarian being the only person he knew who did much writing, "I usually start by thinking about what makes me happy. Things that happen, things that people say or do—you know, those moments in life that you really want to remember for whatever reason."

Moments in his life that he wanted to hold on to, that made him happy.

His gaze drifted over to where Natsu was on the phone, asking his father for the address that he'd like them to mail the album to. Well, it was pretty easy for Zeref to articulate what made him happy, which really meant there was only one topic he could possibly write about.

"So," Levy said, startling him out of his reverie, "can I read it when you're done?"

Zeref looked at the blank page in front of him. "If you want. I suppose it doesn't really matter."

"That's great. I'm curious to see what you come up with."

A week later, after Zeref had sent her a copy of what he'd written, the librarian called him back while he was cooking breakfast.

"Well, one thing's obvious," she said.

"Hmmm?"

It was Zeref's first ever attempt at making pancakes. He'd gotten the idea after stumbling across a cooking channel on the television, and he was positive that Natsu would love it.

"You love him very, very much."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Zeref said, feigning ignorance. The pancake batter smelled rather nice, if he did say so himself.

"I have a friend who's a writer, and she recently started her own magazine. Would you mind if I shared this with her?"

"Please don't."

"Why not? It's really pretty well written, and a lot of people like love stories."

"I'm supposed to be a ghost, remember? People aren't supposed to notice or remember me, not if they aren't directly involved with my work in some way."

"I know, but you can use a pen name. A lot of authors do. In fact, Lucy told me that many authors have several. Just think about it, all right? You don't have to decide right away."

"..."

On the other end of the call, Levy leafed through the story again, pausing on a scene in a coffee shop partway through. "Did you make yourself a girl because it's more conventional?"

"Not really. I don't really care what other people think should be conventional."

"So then...?"

He sighed. Obviously, she wasn't going to leave him alone.

"I promised Natsu he could read whatever I wrote. This way, he won't realize I'm basing it on us."

"He won't?" Levy paused to think this over then chuckled. "No, you're right, he probably won't. He can be a bit dense, can't he?"

"Mm."

...And that was how Zeref started writing love stories for Lucy Heartfilia's literary magazine, and how Natsu found himself reading a collection of warm and fluffy narratives that seemed, at times, suspiciously familiar, although he never could put his finger on why that was.

Come to think of it, their attempted excursions into "normalcy" had started around then too, beginning with a shopping trip to the mall. Knowing that there would be lots of crowds, Natsu had enlisted Sting and Rogue to help. Well, it was supposed to be a shopping trip... Sort of...

"So... what do most people do at the mall anyway?" Natsu asked, surveying the various stores that lined the many floors of the gigantic building complex. He couldn't remember the last time he'd been to a place like this. Neither Natsu nor his father had ever been all that interested in spending time at shopping malls.

"Uh, buy things?" Sting suggested. "Eat?"

"I believe there's supposed to be a movie theatre around here too," Rogue added. "Somewhere..."

Natsu frowned. "I thought we'd try a movie theatre some other time. Do we have anything that we need to buy?"

This last question was directed at Zeref, who shook his head. "Not that I'm aware of."

"I don't think that's how it's supposed to work," Sting observed. "People don't usually go shopping because they really need anything. They just come to hang out and look for things that they might want."

The other three contemplated this suggestion.

"Sounds like a waste of time to me," Rogue said. "Natsu, why didn't you ask Wendy to come with us? You know, someone who actually likes shopping?"

Natsu made a face. "Because Zeref makes her uncomfortable, and that makes Zeref uncomfortable. Can you imagine how short that trip would be?"

This was followed by another thoughtful silence.

Zeref couldn't help it. He began to chuckle.

"He's laughing at us," Sting said with mock dismay.

Rogue coughed. "Well, you have to admit that we haven't exactly thought this through."

...Zeref remembered very little of what they'd actually done after that, probably because they hadn't done very much. They'd concluded that trips to the mall were not for everyone, and really, they had better things to do with their time.

The festival had been more interesting. It had been crowded, so they'd had to be careful to keep Zeref at the center of their little group, but amidst all the colors and the noise and the evening lights, it was easy for them to go unnoticed. They stopped at every food vender at the event, and Zeref allowed himself to try everything in the certain knowledge that three male Dragon Slayers would be more than capable of eating whatever he didn't finish. Zeref wasn't quite as interested in the game booths, but he liked watching the other three play. They'd acquired quite the collection of absurd knickknacks and stuffed animals by the end of it, almost all of which they'd given away to some very excited children. The only memento Zeref had kept was a large, white bear—extremely fluffy and almost spherical. It was just so... cuddly.

The only moment of awkwardness had been at the goldfish scoop...

"I feel bad for those fish," Zeref said from beside Natsu when they join the crowd around the watery attraction, murmuring as though half to himself, "with all these people chasing them with paper nets and trying to take them from their home. If they don't get captured, they still suffer the constant harrassment of people who treat their lives like a game. And if they do get captured, they end up in plastic bags of water, and then who knows what happens to them."

The three Dragon Slayers looked at the pool full of tiny, glittering, golden fish.

"Well," Rogue offerec after a moment's thought, "I don't think fish thinkthat much."

"No," Zeref agreede, "but that's what we're supposed to do on their behalf."

"Sorry, you're losing me in this conversation," Sting said with a sigh. "If you don't want us to terrorize the fish with paper nets, then just say so. We aren't going to be annoyed."

Zeref thought about this with a slight furrow in his brow while Natsu let out a huff of laughter. He knew his partner hadn't really been considering whether or not he approved of them partaking in this particular festival game. This was just the way Zeref thought about things—deeply, critically, and often with a touch of philosophical melancholy.

...Honestly though, it was good that Natsu had thought to invite the two younger Dragon Slayers on so many of these excursions, and not just for the extra security. It was difficult enough as it was for Zeref to build any lasting or meaningful relationships with other people. The fact that he actually got along with the two meant that Natsu wasn't the only person he could depend upon, especially after the new year started and Natsu officially began work with the various fire departments throughout the region.

The Fire Dragon Slayer's particular set of abilities meant he was invaluable in firefighting work, and it was simple enough for him to blend in with the other firefighters on the job. Zeref knew this, and he knew also that it was part of the work they had agreed to do. Still, that didn't make it any less difficult when assignments required that Natsu travel, however briefly, to other prefectures and cities. Sometimes, Zeref was allowed to accompany him, but more often than not, the fact that Zeref was classified as a serious natural hazard meant that he was required to remain at home.

The two weeks Natsu had been away during the drought that second summer after they'd started their life together had been only the first of half a dozen similar if less lengthy business trips that year. Before departing, Natsu had paid his friends a visit in their brand new hero agency downtown.

"Just... drop in on him now and then, all right? Make sure he's doing okay."

"I'm sure he'll be too busy missing you to want to talk to us," Sting had told him, "but sure, no problem."

They hadn't really understood why their friend was so concerned, since they'd only just begun really getting to know Zeref. But two weeks was a long time, and they would have checked in on Zeref even if Natsu hadn't asked...

When the door slid open, the first thing the two Dragon Slayers noticed was a distinct lack of the apartment's dark-haired resident.

"Uh, Zeref?"

A flicker of motion drew their attention to the couch where a book was briefly waved in the air before vanishing from sight again. The two young men moved around said couch and raised their eyebrows at what they found.

"Why are you lying on the floor?"

Zeref lowered his book and looked up at them. "Does it matter?"

His visitors glanced at the thin, nearly invisible, gray fog leaking across the ivory carpet and decided that no, it really didn't.

"Have you eaten lunch?" Sting asked instead, falling back on the list of questions Natsu had recommended they keep in mind.

Zeref thought about this... and thought about this...

"I'm fairly certain I had coffee and some toast."

"Coffee and toast," Rogue repeated. "That sounds like breakfast. You do realize that it's three in the afternoon, don't you?"

Zeref picked up the phone on the floor by his head to look at the time. "I suppose it is."

O—kay.

They gave up on being subtle.

"Uh, you know that being depressed because you couldn't go with Natsu on this job isn't going to help, right?"

Zeref blinked and finally seemed to really focus on them. There was a kind of quiet desperation in his dark eyes that they had never seen before.

"But people have died in those wildfires. The weather is too dry, and the summer heat—it's all making the problem worse."

"There's no need for you to worry about Natsu," Rogue reminded him. "Dragon Slayers are very resilient. You could drop a building on us, and we wouldn't really be hurt. I should know. It happened to me once in school."

"And fire is his element," Sting added, just in case Zeref had somehow forgotten this rather significant fact. "You should know how strong he is. He'd expect you to have more faith in him."

Zeref mulled this over for a long minute before saying, "I suppose you're right. I just... don't want him to get hurt."

He trailed off, sinking back into his own solemn contemplations.

Right, time for a topic change.

Sting started to suggest that they go grab something to eat, glanced at the thin, dark mist around them that didn't appear to be going away, and changed what he'd been about to say. "How about we get takeout?"

"I'm not hung—"

"Just pick something."

...For the next few days, Sting and Rogue made time in their schedules to drop in on Zeref every evening. They always brought food, and they didn't leave until Zeref had actually eaten something and Natsu phoned in to tell his partner about his day.

Things improved when, one week in, the two decided to bring him half a dozen cookbooks full of moderate to complicated recipes. They brought supplies too, and consulted one of their other friends for the proper kitchenware.

"It's an, ah, really, really early Christmas present," they told him. "You need something to keep yourself busy, right? Reading's obviously not cutting it. And wouldn't it be nice if you could make something for him when he gets back? Besides, it's more relaxing for you guys to eat at home, isn't it?"

It was generally pretty easy to persuade Zeref to do something if they first convinced him that Natsu would approve, and the two weren't above taking advantage of this.

This plan had worked wonders, especially after Natsu finally returned home and made it known how much he liked his partner's newest hobby. As an added bonus, Zeref had to sample what he cooked in order to figure out if it was any good, which cut down on the chances of him starving himself out of a simple lack of desire to eat.

Honestly, the two younger Dragon Slayers hadn't realized until then quite how unstable Zeref's mood could be when he was alone, and they were two of only a very short list of people who could actually help.

Of course, there was Natsu's father and Mr. Aizawa, but the former went on far too many business trips and the latter wasn't actually immune to Zeref's abilities. Besides, Aizawa wasn't particularly sociable himself and didn't care much for extended conversations.

Zeref himself was the other part of the problem though, something he freely admitted. He was just as uncomfortable trying to reach out to other people as he was about allowing other people to reach out to him...

"Why don't you want to go with me?" Natsu demanded.

He stood in front of the couch where Zeref was sitting, preparing to settle down with a new book while his partner went to his second high school class reunion.

Zeref looked up at him, a little startled by the glower on his partner's face. The year before, he had declined Natsu's invitation to accompany him to his high school reunion as a matter of course. It had been their first year living out here, and he'd still been figuring things out. That was a year ago now, but he hadn't expected the Dragon Slayer to react this way simply because he'd declined his invitation a second time.

"They'll ask questions," Zeref pointed out.

Questions that they probably wouldn't be able to answer.

"So? Let them ask."

Zeref shifted his weight a little uncomfortably on the couch cushions. "I'm afraid it will be awkward. I... don't want to make things uncomfortable."

Lime green eyes narrowed for a moment, but then Natsu sighed. "Fine. I'll go by myself again this year, but just so you know, I really want you to go. You can't just hide from everyone forever. That wasn't the point."

The point.

Zeref thought about this as he watched Natsu grab his jacket and head out the door. He knew Natsu was right, but it was hard to let go of his old anxieties. Meeting and talking with people while they were working was one thing. He'd learned to handle business relationships. But meeting and talking with people like Natsu's old high school friends just wasn't the same.

Natsu had said he wanted Zeref to go with him though.

Zeref shifted on the couch, slightly upset by the thought that Natsu might be upset with him. It hadn't occurred to him that it would matter one way or another to his partner if he went with him to his class reunion or not. That had been stupid though, hadn't it? He cared about Natsu and wanted to spend time with him. It was stupid not to consider the fact that Natsu might feel the same. Zeref didn't want to cause him any trouble, but maybe that was the wrong way to be thinking about this.

What did it mean really, to be a part of someone else's life? They didn't have to do everything together. They weren't like those clingy couples who couldn't stand to do anything apart. But maybe it was that choice of wanting to do something together, of easing into the activities that each of them enjoyed as part of their lives. Natsu teaching him ping pong had been one of these. Zeref teaching Natsu how to play chess and reading stories aloud to the Dragon Slayer when he was feeling lazy was something like that too. Sharing their time, their interests, their lives. Perhaps what it meant, then, was giving a chance to those things in your partner's life that you weren't sure about so that maybe, just maybe, it could become a part of your life too.

Well, he supposed he could try to go next year. That gave him a whole twelve months to get used to the idea and to try and find something positive about it.

Less agitated now that he'd settled on what to do, he picked up his book again.

...Unfortunately, he still hadn't been able to fulfill that resolution. The third time Natsu's high school reunion had rolled around, Zeref was in the hospital, and both of them missed the gathering entirely.

TBC...

.