Eating is a lot of work:

Rin was fine.

Sure, he'd essentially killed his own father and he'd found out his brother had been playing an elaborate game of pretend with him for about six or seven years — and, yeah, maybe he still had a death sentence hanging over his head but that was alright because Rin was fine.

So what if he regularly skipped breakfast and dinner, couldn't sleep, couldn't focus, couldn't remember what day of the week it was, and kept getting headaches?

He was just forgetful and lazy.

There was nothing more to it than that.

Rin had more important things to worry about than being a little hungry.

"Okumura-kun, where's your lunch?" Konekomaru asked him.

Sitting under a tree on the campus' west-facing courtyard with the Kyoto trio, Rin sulked.

"I got held back so I couldn't get to the canteen before they sold out," he answered. He was curled up and pouting a little, arms wrapped around his stomach as much to hold back his discomfort as to ward off the strange chill in the air.

"Failed another pop-quiz, did you?" Shima teased playfully. He waved his chopsticks at Rin and pretended to be disappointed with his classmate, "You should really take your studies more seriously, Okumura-kun."

Rin's eyes followed the wood and a low snarl rose from the back of his throat, the sound too quiet to be heard by normal human ears. He absently wondered if his stomach would let him eat chopsticks. "You're just as bad as I am!"

"At least Shima's awake during his classes," Bon grumbled, taking a bite of rice. Konekomaru chuckled, a piece of poached fish held between his chopsticks. Rin felt his stomach clench and bile tickle the back of his throat. He imagined a harvestman crawling from his esophagus and into his mouth with a grimace. "Don't you make your own bento at home?" Bon asked, glancing up at Rin.

"I overslept," the half-demon confessed with a groan, curling into himself and settling in a little more comfortably.

"Haah," Konekomaru made a small, sympathetic sound.

"Sounds to me like you just got lazy." Shima leaned toward Rin and poked him with his chopstick. "If you're looking for free food, go somewhere else!" Reading the accusation, however harmless the gesture was meant to be, reminded Rin of pillars of blue fire and black smoke and years spent being ostracized by his peers.

A sour taste settled on his tongue.

Rin brushed off the unwarranted feeling. In one easy motion he plucked the chopstick from his friend's fingers, snapped it, and popped it into his mouth, crushing the pieces between his teeth like pocky. The half demon let the sound of wood crunching speak for him as glared at the blanching pink haired offender sitting across from him.

Yukio hadn't been home for dinner for a few days.

Which meant he hadn't found the time to go shopping with Rin.

Which meant there wasn't much left in the fridge.

Which sort of meant Rin hadn't been eating much.

Rin wasn't complaining, though. He knew if he waited long enough the hunger pains would go away and come back later. Usually, all he had to do was find something small to eat before they came back. If he couldn't: no big deal, he'd just wait a bit longer.

Usually, he was fine.

But he'd been more tired than usual lately.

Rin slept in short, inconsistent intervals, each interspersed by nightmares and strange dreams. He'd wake up in the middle of the night feeling nauseous and achy, covered in sweat and shivering. The aches were usually what made getting back to sleep so difficult. When the nausea got bad, he'd wobble his way to the bathroom and dry heave into a bin or a toilet, whichever he got to first.

Consequently, Rin kept oversleeping in the morning.

Which meant he didn't have enough time for breakfast.

Which meant he couldn't focus in class.

Which meant – …what?

He couldn't remember what that meant.

"Yikes!" Shima exclaimed, "Are you wearing make-up? Those bags are huge, man!"

"Thanks. I was up all night working on them," Rin replied dryly and sat down to eat his sandwich. He'd almost passed out in his race to get the last one but, thank god he'd gotten it in time.

"Okumura-kun, are you feeling ok? You're looking pretty pale." Konekomaru's brow was furrowed. Rin was having a hard time getting his eyes to focus so he avoided looking at anyone's face for too long. He flashed his friends with a grin and told them the truth.

He was fine, just tired and sore from training with Shura the other day.

He was fine.

The dizzy spells were getting worse and he felt cold all the time.

Kuro would sometimes cuddle against Rin's chest, tucking himself in under his tamer's arm when the nightmares became too much. It helped Rin sleep but Kuro didn't do it very often because it made him hot.

Ukobach had started making Rin tea in the morning and would sneak it into his bag during the night so Rin couldn't forget it. The tea wasn't as hard to keep down as solids were these days and could save whatever he didn't finish before class for lunch.

Rin was grateful for their help, was grateful for the effort they made.

Eating didn't make Rin feel better anymore.

Anything he ate his stomach would just toss out the way it came in.

He could keep little things down and, if he took small sips, he could mostly convince liquids to stay where he wanted them to.

It'd been a week since Rin had last shared a meal with his brother but he'd gotten used to the quotidian silence of eating alone. He saw his brother in class often enough to know he was ok and that he was being fed.

If Rin had a stomach bug it was better that Yukio stay away anyway.

That's what he told himself when the chills and the aches got so bad he had to stop going on his regular evening run.

The half demon kept telling himself he'd remind Yukio about the grocery thing, but every time he got the chance he ended up forgetting. His little brother had said something about leaving some money out so Rin could do the shopping alone but he'd never told him where he intended to put it. Yukio also hadn't told him when he'd leave some out.

Rin's body didn't just ache anymore, it burned.

He felt like someone was gathering up the spools of his muscles and pulling them until they stretched, and stretched, and stretched.

It was like getting a stitch all over his body, some nights, and it was agony.

He couldn't think, couldn't concentrate on anything else until each torturous episode ended.

Rin started skipping classes again.

"Rin, are you ok?" Shiemi asked him carefully.

Rin had his forehead resting on top of the table and his arms outstretched. He'd been like that for a few minutes, taking advantage of the desk's cool surface. He was normally so cold he had to go out wearing a second shirt under his jumper and then a jacket on top of that but today it was just so fucking hot (never mind the autumn chill and rain).

"Feel sick." He expressed miserably.

"Oh!" Though Rin was happy Shiemi had perked up for some reason, her chirp made him flinch. He wanted to curl his arms around his aching head. But he also didn't want to move. "What kind of sick? Maybe I can give you some herbs…"

"Idiot. If you felt sick, why did you come to class?" Izumo scoffed.

Rin picked up the sound of several pairs of feet approaching the desk shortly before Bon spoke, "Upper-class demons can't get sick, you idiot."

Demon.

The word burnt blue into his retinas.

It smelled like copious amounts of blood and hydrogen peroxide.

It sounded like bones cracking in the heat of crematorium.

It lodged screams that felt like sea urchins at the back of his throat.

It made his tongue curl with the sour tastes of guilt and betrayal.

It ostracized him, shackled him — gave him pointed ears, vicious canines, and a tail he'd never needed.

It made him wonder if he hated himself as much as everyone else hated him.

"Fuck you, Bon. I'm still half-human," Rin spat, apoplectic, and stood up suddenly.

He didn't care that the world had started spinning and that the vertigo settled on the back of his tongue like bile. The teen reached blindly for his sword and bookbag, his limbs almost too heavy to move. Huge patches of his vision whited out, so much he could hardly see. A ringing began in his ears, as loud as that time back in primary school when a classmate had swung a cricket bat into the side of his head. And he felt the tingle of his skin rising as gooseflesh washed over him.

"Ri—!"

Something solid slammed against the more vulnerable flesh of his temple and with a startling lack of transition, Rin's vision went from white to black without him realizing.

. . .

"–i, oi, oi…"

"Back up – give him some room!"

"Someone, go get his brother."

"Okumura!"

Rin stirred slowly, feeling overwhelmed and hot. His head pounded. "hhhr…" The involuntary sound that escaped him was somewhere between a husky wheeze and a whine. His own voice invoked a tickle at the back of throat, one that threw him into another coughing fit.

That was the… the fourth one? That day?

The strength of his hacking made him snap up into a weak sitting position. Every rough contraction of his diaphragm and choked bark he coughed up made his head pulse ever more fiercely.

Small hands helped him turn to the side but with the way his skin prickled Rin hardly noticed their aid. A harsher hand clapped against his back and made him realize he was choking.

Why, though?

What did he have to choke on?

An uncomfortable burning made him press one hand to his stomach in a feeble bid to sooth the pain. Then, there was a gurgling sound and with a huge heave a mouthful of bright yellow bile surged out of him.

"Shit–?!"

"Hey!"

A few more heaves of bile and it, seemingly, was over. The ordeal left Rin feeling boneless, visibly trembling on the floor and struggling to collect himself.

"Okumura-kun? Do you feel any better?"

Rin was reminded he had an audience when he lifted his gaze from the bile on the floor to Konekomaru's. Behind the bald monk, Shima was looking as if he was about to be sick as well.

"Rin?" Shiemi asked when the teen didn't respond. She was beside him, holding his coat in her hands, apparently. He had enough time to be confused by that before another pain began in his stomach. He felt himself blanch, heat rushing out of his face like tides receding before a tsunami.

"Oi, where's Okumura-sensei?" Bon's voice started from behind the sick teen.

"Oh no, he's gunna–!"

Rin's head fell forward and his mouth popped open and, though another round of violent contractions took over him, all he could concentrate on was the black substance that hit the floor below him.

Coffee grounds?

Rin didn't even like coffee, so how had coffee grounds gotten into his stomach?

"Oi, Jackass, don't pass out again!" Bon commanded.

As much as he wanted to, the half demon wasn't certain he could pass out right now. He grunted as contraction after contraction rolled upwards through him, bringing waves of tar with them. This went on for so long that a tear formed in Rin's throat.

Panting roughly, he sagged when it was over. Something held him up and he felt like a wet coat on a coat hanger. His friends were still being too loud.

"For fuck's sake!" Bon growled, fear and urgency in his voice, "Where the hell is Okumura-sensei?!"

"Kamiki-san should be back with him by now," Konekomaru agreed.

"Suguro-kun, help him sit properly, please?" Shiemi's voice was all seriousness.

The irascible teen muttered something like an agreement and Rin felt his body being dragged back. He was pushed up against a wall and gently held there.

"Just what the hell have you done to yourself?" Bon asked him. To Shiemi, he said, "He's still shaking."

Rin swallowed thickly, pushing his head back against the wall to do it.

"Rin?" Shiemi asked sweetly, "Are you awake?" He grunted his affirmation. There was a snapping sound so he opened his eyes a little to see what was going on. The blond girl held up something that looked like a cross between beef jerky and tree bark. "You should eat this," she told him.

Still dizzy and still sick Rin decided he wanted nothing to do with food and made a face. "Why?" he croaked. His question appeared to have caught Shiemi off guard because she hesitated.

"Because it will make you feel better."

Rin squinted at her – as much as he could, given how close together his eyelids already were. He was tired. And when he was tired he was always more suspicious. "Are you sure?" He asked dubiously, still making no move to grab the tree bark (?) between Shiemi's fingers. Rin's brain wasn't fast enough to catch the confusion and hurt on his friend's face before it disappeared. "Head hurts," he mumbled weakly.

"Then eat it, you idiot." Bon's voice wasn't as loud this time.

"Please, Rin. I promise it will help," Shiemi looked a little unsure of herself – or maybe she was just worried? The half demon closed his eyes.

"Mmn," he hummed decisively, "I don trudt it."

Bon gave his shoulder a little shake and made some comment about someone saying something about not passing out.

Rin, though, had been so deprived of sleep for so long that he was more than happy to succumb to it. As far as he could tell, a little rest had no noteworthy consequences. Not a word of what Ryuji said to him, or, rather, threatened him with, penetrated his clouded thoughts.