A Pokémon story. How original.
A rewrite and re-imagining of Ash's journey. How novel.
Ash gets a different starter. How positively unique.
In all seriousness though, most of the stories fitting this criteria are little more than Traveler knockoffs. And while Traveler is a great story, there's too much room in the Pokémon universe to settle for doing what's already been done. This isn't an anime rewrite. This isn't a manga rewrite. This isn't a game rewrite. This isn't Traveler. This is an attempt to show some of what can still be done with the Pokémon world that hasn't already been done. Bits and pieces of it will be familiar, because I'm borrowing from everywhere: my mind, the anime, games, manga, other stories, and the fandom in general. At the same time, I'm not including everything because that would only lead to the story feeling bloated. My goal is to pick and choose only the ideas and concepts that will work best in this story in order to tell a coherent tale. I'm not going to force everything in because people think it should be canon. The only canon for this story is what I say is canon.
So when I don't include the first movie and you complain, I'm going to tell you to cry me a river.
When you complain again because the second movie can't be found, I'm going to ask you to get over it.
And then, when the third movie fails to materialize and you complain, I'm just going to grin and call you a dumb-ass for expecting anything else.
But of course, those are just hypothetical examples. I'm totally going to include all of the movies in this story. And I'd never dream of skipping the Orange Islands. Or the Indigo Plateau Conference. Or Iris and Cilan. Or, well, you get the idea. Or you don't and I can be entertained by your outrage.
Still, none of that is to say the story will be small. Multiple regions, massive adventures, years of content. The world and story will grow as it progresses, until it encompasses the behemoth that is the world of Pokémon.
It's just important to remember, a journey of a thousand miles, begins with
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Chapter 1 – A single step
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It was nearly 11:00 when Ash entered the Professor's lab. Entering the foyer, he'd not even taken a seat before a door in the back opened and the Professor made his way out. Seeing perhaps the most famous Pokémon Professor alive, Ash could barely contain his excitement. Especially considering the purpose of his visit.
"Hey Professor Oak!" Ash called.
When the professor saw him, he let a smile spread across his features, "Hello Ash, it's good to see you."
Following the professor back deeper into the lab, Ash couldn't hold his questions back, "So why'd you change the meeting time? Everyone else met here way earlier for their starters. Why'd I have to wait?"
"Well, there was a bit of a problem with some of the starter Pokémon," he started, quickly pushing on as Ash's face fell. "An attack by Team Rocket stole half of them before they could arrive two days ago, which left me with only three starters for four trainers."
Ash's excitement was gone, his face despondent, "So I'm not getting a starter?"
"Don't worry," the professor reassured him, "I've got a lot of friends and connections. While you won't get a traditional Kanto starter, I was able to get my hands on a different rare Pokémon from a far away region. However, he only showed up last night, so I needed a little longer to ensure his health before letting you take him."
Jumping with joy, Ash's excitement did another flip, right back to ecstatic, "Awesome! Thanks Professor!"
Stopping in front of a desk, the professor picked up a small electronic device before turning back to Ash, "Of course Ash. You've been a great help around the lab for the past couple years and you've more than earned the right to begin your journey. There was no way I'd let a little mishap with the starters become an inconvenience." Holding out the device, he continued, "Now, as I'm sure you're aware, this is your pokedex. It has detailed information on all Pokémon you'll finds in the wilds of Indigo, it has scanning technology built-in so you can get more detailed information on your own Pokémon, and it includes a tremendous amount of information on Pokémon research that you can go through at your leisure in order to help you on your journey. Its final purpose is to serve as your trainer ID and portal to your trainer account." Relinquishing his hold on it, he finished, "Make sure you finish filling in your information before you leave. Once it's synced to your account, you'll be officially recognized as a trainer."
Ash quickly flipped open the device and glanced through its UI and a few menus before closing it and turning back to the professor with an expectant look on his face. As he'd been doing that, the professor had moved to an advanced looking machine in the center of the room. Pressing a button, a hole in the surface opened and a pokeball fell out onto a tray.
Picking it up, he looked Ash in the eye, "Before I give you your starter, there are a few things you need to know."
Doing his best to contain himself, Ash took a few deep breaths, "Okay. I'm ready."
Waiting a few more seconds, the professor nodded, "Very well. This isn't a traditional starter from any region. It's also a species with a reputation of being perhaps the hardest to raise. It will grow slowly and probably cause you all manner of problems, however, given time and dedication it will definitely be worth it. While not native to Indigo, I've included all the information available about his species and evolutionary line in your pokedex as well."
Handing the pokeball to Ash, the professor shepherded him outside. Giving him a final smile, Professor Oak allowed Ash to start his journey. "Good luck Ash, and feel free to call me if you ever need any help."
"Thanks Professor," Ash grinned. And took off for the outskirts of Pallet.
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Reaching his destination, Ash ensured his pokedex registration had gone through before grabbing his lone filled pokeball. Taking a deep breath with a smile on his face, he spoke to it, "This is going to be great; you and me, we're going to be the best the world has ever seen."
Tossing the ball, he watched as a figure materialized out of it. Short, quadrupedal, blue body with black fur around the shoulders, neck, and top of the head. As soon as the Pokémon finished materializing, it began looking around in confusion before focusing on Ash, at which point Ash noticed the Pokémon didn't have any eyes.
Seeming to sniff the air, it cried out, "Deino," and charged towards Ash with its mouth open.
Dodging out of the way, Ash watched in surprise as his starter failed to adjust course, running head first into the tree that was now in its path. Blinking, Ash felt his eyes widen as the Pokémon proceeded to start biting at the tree's trunk and taking chunks of wood out with each snap.
Regaining his senses, he grabbed his pokedex to scan his starter, "Deino, the irate Pokémon. Lacking sight, it is unaware of its surroundings, so it bumps into things and eats anything that moves. Deino is the first stage of the Hydreigon line and is a dual dark/dragon type."
Deino, in the meantime, had turned away from the tree as the pokedex spoke up. Tilting his head, he ran towards Ash once more. This time though, when he sidestepped the charging deino, Ash reached down and tried petting him on the top of his head.
When deino tried snapping at his hand, Ash dodged around it to continue his ministrations and spoke up, "Hey, calm down Deino. I'm Ash, your trainer."
As he spoke, Ash reached into his bag and grabbed some of the Pokémon snacks he'd packed. Holding them out, he continued, "I'm your trainer, but more importantly I'm your friend. Together, there's nothing we can't accomplish. I promise."
Deino seemed to ignore him as he ate the proffered snacks. However, when he finished eating he reared back on his legs with a smile on his face. Ash grinned as he proceeded to pet and scratch deino.
As deino settled back down, Ash gave a rub of the head behind deino's black fur spike, "That's right. We're friends and I'll help you accomplish all your dreams. For now though, I'm just starting my journey, so we should head towards Viridian City. It's a few days of walking to get there, but that's fine, just gives us more time to get to know each other. I know you can't see, but use your nose to follow me."
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By the time Ash was setting up camp for the evening, he'd come to a few conclusions. Deino was incredibly aggressive, something to be expected of dragons and some dark type Pokémon. He was also blind, and that was a handicap. Several dozen times over the day Deino had tried to pick a fight with a wild Pokémon, charging straight towards where he'd heard or smelt it, only to be left annoyed and confused as the Pokémon would dodge the attack. Then go from annoyed to irritated to enraged as he'd be unable to track his opponents as they moved too fast for him to find.
On the plus side, deino was durable enough to withstand the repeated abuse he was taking and strong enough that he really only needed to land a single hit in order to win his battles. Still, needing to rely on scent and sound to locate opponents was clearly nowhere near being a workable solution to his blindness. Yet. Moreover, deino rarely listened when Ash tried to keep him from fighting, his aggression ensuring he'd fight anything he could. Impressively, deino still hadn't passed out or grown exhausted. He was a little tired, but seemed to still have energy even after five hours of walking and combat.
Deino also seemed to really like eating, spending most of his walking time chowing down on any pieces of vegetation he could find. Constantly biting and eating anything he could get his mouth around. Having done some research into the deino line on his pokedex, Ash came to learn this was fairly standard behavior and nothing to be overly worried about. The biggest issue would be ensuring deino managed to get all the nutrients he needed, which could be taken care of simply via various vitamin supplements or various Pokémon foods from the store.
Lighting his campfire, Ash relaxed back in his seat, "Hey, Deino, come on over."
A few feet away, deino was chewing on a large tree branch he'd found on the ground. Perking up as he was called, he shambled over, dragging the branch with him. Unable to see where he was going and not otherwise paying attention, he came to a stop when he knocked over Ash's chair.
"Ugh," Ash grunted as he hit the ground. Picking himself up, he shook his head, "We're going to need to work on that."
Deino tilted his head, inadvertently bringing the end of his branch into the fire. As Ash began panicking over that, deino dropped the stick as he heard a rustling in the trees behind them. Shifting his attention, he let out a growl and charged.
In the meantime, Ash could only watch at the disaster that was unfolding, from the knocked over campfire and the need to stop it from spreading to the now angry deino trying futilely to hit the rattata taunting him from the trees.
By the time he'd eaten and darkness had fallen, Ash was utterly exhausted. Rattata, pidgey, and even a spearow; deino had managed to find wild Pokémon to harass for hours and Ash had had to spend inordinate amounts of effort simply keeping the campsite in workable condition. Eventually, he'd managed to settle deino with some food before a thunderstorm showed up, the rain blocking sound and scent to the point deino couldn't find anything else to chase.
Finally, sitting in his tent Ash tried starting up a conversation with a Pokémon again, "You are a crazy little Pokémon aren't you?"
By the entrance to the tent, deino perked up from chewing on a short chunk of the large branch he'd been chewing on that Ash had cut off.
Seeing that he'd gotten his Pokémon's attention, Ash shook his head with a small smile, "Don't worry, it's fine. I spent most of the day scanning through all the information on your species the pokedex had. Aggressive, easily annoyed, and difficult are all used to describe it at some point." Seeing deino frown, Ash continued before the little dragon could take offense, "But it doesn't really matter to me. Aggressive just means you want to be strong, something I'm perfectly fine with, after all, I want to be the best. Easily annoyed just means you don't accept failure and you don't give up. You try, you fail, it annoys you, and you try again, more determined than before. That's good. Becoming the best won't be easy, but as long as we refuse to accept failure and keep pushing forward, nothing is beyond our reach. Difficult isn't a problem either. You have high standards, good. Great, even. So do I. As long as you work with me, I don't care how difficult you are. It won't be easy and it won't be quick, but some day we're going to stand at the top of the world. You and me, the greatest there has ever been. We'll set a standard that others will spend the next thousand years trying to match!"
At Ash's conclusion, deino dropped his stick and let out a cry of agreement. Which was perhaps a bit too enthusiastic. Ash once again could only watch in horror, this time as the cry was paired with a release of draconic energy which blew a hole through the side of the tent. In a thunderstorm.
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After doing his best to patch the hole in his tent, Ash settled down for his much needed sleep only to be woken what felt like barely a minute later to deino poking him with a paw. Groaning, Ash tried batting it away, only to feel it come back immediately after. Rubbing his eyes, he reached for his pokedex to check the time.
2:37 am
Groggily, he blinked at the display, trying to comprehend its meaning as he listened to the rain fall around him. Except holding his arm up, he quickly felt it grow cold. And noticed it was wet. Feeling his awareness slowly come back, he noticed his whole back was wet. Reaching down to feel the ground around him only confirmed his fears.
"Well, shit." Feeling deino poke at him again, he groaned, "Yes, I noticed. We're sleeping in a lake. Well, nothing for it now, all my gear is probably soaked through and there's no way I'm going to be getting back to sleep in this mess. I'll pack up and we can hit the road again. Viridian City shouldn't be more than a few hours away if we don't get distracted by anything."
Packing up his camp simply reinforced his mistakes. First night camping on his journey and he'd forgotten most of the basic tenets he'd learned in preparation for his travels. He'd left his chair out. In the rain. He'd left his general mess from the previous evening out as well. And of course his greatest failure, he'd set his tent up in a low spot. It'd taken some time, but a lake forming in the low spot during the downpour was an inevitability. And now he was cold, wet, tired, sore, and embarrassed at his gaffe.
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The six-hour trek to Viridian didn't do much to help his mood, instead simply allowing him to stew in his misery. The wet clothes chaffed and the water simply weighed him down. Reaching the gates at least had him feel a bit of relief, as the promise of a soft bed at the Pokémon Center called to him.
Unfortunately, before he actually made it into the city, he saw someone walk out of it. More importantly, he saw who walked out of it. Spiky brown hair, long sleeved purple shirt, blue pants. Ash felt his mood plummet.
Gary Oak noticed who was walking towards him and developed a smug grin. Spending a further moment to analyze Ash's appearance, he didn't even try to hold back his laughter, "Hahahaha! Oh man, Ash, ahahahaha! What'd you do, sleep in a lake? Forget how to set a tent up in the storm last night? Ha! You really are a loser." Seeing Ash's flushing face, he continued, "Man, how do you mess up that bad on your first day as a trainer? You really should just give up. There's no way you'll ever even compare to me."
Ducking his head, Ash tried to make his way around Gary, "Whatever. Just, shut up Gary. Everyone makes mistakes. And I don't need to compare to you, I'm already better than you'll ever be."
"Ha!" Gary snorted in disdain. "As if, loser. But if you really think so, let's have a battle. I know we just began yesterday, but I'm thinking a good 3-v-3 to show who's best." Seeing Ash freeze before he could retort, Gary's smirk came back, "Oh? No eager acceptance? You scared? Or you just too bad of a trainer to have caught another Pokémon?" Basking in Ash's misery for a moment, he continued, "Well, never let it be said that I can't adapt. If you've only got one Pokémon, we'll just battle starters."
Standing awkwardly with his face flushed and head ducked, Ash felt his anger peak, "Fine! Let's do this! You might have more Pokémon than me, but mine is better!" Turning to his side, he grinned at deino, "Come on Deino, our first official battle. Let's go!"
Across from him, Gary blinked at the blue and black quadruped standing in front of Ash before realization lit his eyes, "Ha, even gramps knows you won't amount to anything, giving you the blind reject instead of a proper starter." Reaching to his belt, he grabbed a ball and tossed it, "Well, no matter, Squirtle will show you your place."
Ash's eyes widened before narrowing in anger, "Hey, don't talk about Deino like that! He's no reject! He's better than any normal starter!" Looking at his partner, he started the battle, "Deino, there's a squirtle a few feet in front of you. Focus on it's scent and concentrate, then tackle it!"
"That won't work! Squirtle, stay moving, your opponent can't see you and won't be able to hit you unless you stay in place. Barrage it with water gun!"
Ash grimaced as the battle unfolded. Deino was running around almost aimlessly while being pelted with blasts of pressurized water. Unfortunately, there wasn't much he could do to help beyond calling out course corrections as he watched squirtle run around. Watching Gary smirk at the one-sided battle taking place, Ash refocused on the battle, trying to find some way to turn it around. As an idea began taking form, he called out, "Push forward and circle right!"
Watching squirtle dodge away, his plan solidified, "Now, zag hard right before darting forward to the left!"
A few moves later, Ash grinned in triumph as squirtle darted backwards intro a tree. "Now! Headbutt straight in front! Full speed!"
"Quick, withdraw!" Gary responded.
With a full head of steam, deino ran right into squirtle, sandwiching it to the tree. Still, the defensive maneuver did its job and squirtle got to its feet and jumped away with a water gun.
Not wanting to lose his momentum, Ash yelled out, "Dragon rage! Follow the water back!"
But it was too late. Deino tried to form the energy for the attack, but took another blast of water to the face and fell to the ground. With a stunned look on his face, Ash returned his starter. Looking at the pokeball, he released a breath, "It's okay. You did your best, and that's all that matters. We'll beat them next time."
Across the field, Gary returned his starter and ambled over, "Well, whad'ya know, I was wrong. You're even worse than I thought. You only landed a single hit. That was pathetic. Anyways, I'm out. I don't want to get infected with your ineptitude. Smell ya later, loser."
And with that, he left.
"AAAHHG!" Ash gave a cry of rage and punched the tree he'd been standing next to. Which just added injury to insult. Something Ash was beginning to think was becoming a trend for his journey. It hadn't even been a full day yet and the only thing that hadn't gone horribly wrong was his relationship with deino.
Spending a minute to gather himself, he clipped deino's ball to his belt and made his way into the city. Walking through Viridian, Ash began pulling himself together and planning for the immediate future. He might have lost his first battle, and to Gary, but he wasn't going to let that define his career. He'd learn, train, work, and get better. Still, seeing the red roof of the Pokémon Center come into view brought a tremendous sense of relief. He was exhausted and was looking forward to getting some much needed sleep. Plus, deino would likely appreciate the professional healing and treatment.
Of course, nothing could go right, so as he turned the corner, he stopped in shock at the crime scene tape around the entrance to the Pokémon Center. The front doors and windows were all broken and it looked like some kind of burn damage staining the floors and walls.
Slowly making his way over, he was stopped by a gruff voice, "What do you want kid? Can't you see this is a crime scene?"
Looking towards the voice, he saw the crisp uniform of a police officer. In fact, she had the distinctive hair of the infamous Jenny clan, sent out only to deal with serious crime involving Pokémon. Taking another look at the Pokémon Center, he answered, "I was hoping to get my Pokémon treated here and get a room for a day." Turning to look at the officer again, he frowned, "But I showed up only to see this. What happened here?"
"Team Rocket happened," she spat. "Criminal scum. There'd been reports of them hanging around the city and last night they took advantage of the increased number of trainers and Pokémon at the center, hunkering down out of the storm, and attacked. They'd taken nearly twenty Pokémon before one of the trainers trying to fight back attacked their koffing with a charmander, igniting the poison gas and creating a massive explosion. Knocked out the criminal's Pokémon, but the thieves made off with their stolen Pokémon in a hot air balloon." Spitting to the side, she continued, "Before they launched their attack, they sabotaged a few key components to the power network. I was busy investigating that and the Pokémon Center didn't have electricity so they couldn't call to report the attack. If not for that explosion, they probably would have made off with even more Pokémon."
Focusing back on Ash, she shook her head, "Anyways, front entrance is closed, but if you go around back you can get in that way for treatment and a room. Can't just close a Pokémon Center after all, these places are too vital for that."
Nodding his head, Ash began making his away around back, "Thanks. And good luck stopping Team Rocket."
Eventually making his way to the check-in desk, he handed deino's ball to the attending nurse, "He needs a checkup, and if you have time I'd appreciate it if you could teach me the best way to treat his bruises and scrapes, his species is blind and aggressive towards pretty much anything. Since he's going to end up with a lot of bruises and cuts, I'd feel better knowing the best way to care for them."
Taking the ball, the nurse placed it on a scanner and looked at the results. "A deino. Haven't seen one of those before. We'll treat him and let him recover. If you're going to go take a nap like it looks you need, we'll have him ready for you to pickup whenever you're ready. As for teaching you, that shouldn't be a problem. It'll probably take about fifteen minutes, so plan for that when you come to pick him up."
"Thanks," Ash nodded. "And yeah, I'd like a room key so I can keel over. I didn't get much sleep last night."
Reaching under the desk, the nurse grabbed a set of keys and handed them over, "Room 107. It's a fully equipped single person suite. Sleep well." Giving him a smile, she grabbed deino's ball and headed towards the back.
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Waking up at 1:00, Ash forced himself out of bed, knowing that if he didn't get up he wouldn't be able to sleep at night. Getting dressed, he relished the feel of clean, dry, clothes. Grabbing a breakfast bar, he left his room and made his way to the nurse's desk.
When she saw who it was, a look of relief appeared on her face, "Oh, thank Mew it's you. That deino of yours is a menace. Headstrong, aggressive and powerful, he was all kinds of problems during the healing process. It took Nurse Joy and her Chansey nearly thirty minutes to heal what should have only taken five minutes for one of us other nurses. Then, when we let him out to just relax, he put a hole in a wall and proceeded to start trying to bite chunks out of the support stud he found. Then-"
Before she could continue any further, a new voice broke in, "That's enough of that." Getting both their attention, the nurse ducked her head while Ash looked over to see the notable figure of a Nurse Joy. She looked at Ash and gave him a smile, "While your deino was a little difficult, it was no more than should have been expected from his species. The problem wasn't him, it was that the nurses here aren't trained for handling deinos. Luckily, I am. If you'll come with me, I understand you wanted to learn the best way to take care of his bruises and cuts."
Ash smiled, "Yeah, thanks. From what I've read and experienced, trying to stop deino from charging into things and getting beat up is an exercise in futility, so instead I'll settle for being able to take care of his injuries properly."
Arriving in a private treatment room, Joy smiled, "An admiral attitude, especially for a trainer as new as you. Most inexperienced trainers rely solely on Pokémon Centers and potions. A functional solution, if not the most comfortable for the Pokémon. Considering the habits of deino though, I can see why you'd decide on this approach." Reaching into a pocket in her apron, she grabbed a pokeball and handed it to Ash. "Here you go. Fully healed and rested. Release him and we can get started."
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Half an hour later, Ash found himself sitting on the ground in the training grounds out back of the Pokémon Center looking at his clearly upset starter. Frowning, he decided the best approach was bluntness.
"We lost."
Deino growled.
"I know. Losing sucks. But that doesn't change the fact that we lost." As deino began growling more aggressively, Ash pushed on. "Remember what I said yesterday. Failure is okay as long as we don't accept it." As deino calmed, he continued, "We lost, and that's okay. Because we're going to learn from it, train harder, and make sure we get better."
"Deino!" The little dinosaur didn't quite agree with what Ash said.
Ash shook his head, "I know. I'd like to say we won't lose again, but that would be a lie. We're young and inexperienced. There are trainers and Pokémon out there with decades of experience. We'll catch them and surpass them, but it will take time. Years. And it will take effort. We'll train, battle, and win. And we'll lose. Take our lumps, grow from our losses, and ensure that when the time comes for us to prove ourselves to the world, no one can stop us. We'll put in the blood, sweat, tears, and effort and then we'll make the world recognize us. And it will be glorious."
This time, deino's cry was more enthusiastic, causing Ash to grin. Rubbing deino's head for a moment, Ash continued on, "Every ten years, the top twenty trainers from every region get together and have a tournament. The best trainers from beyond the main regions are invited as well, and they battle it out to determine the best in the world."
Feeling deino perk up even more, Ash's grin grew a little feral, "No trainer has ever won the tournament in their first eligibility period. The youngest winner was Cynthia from the Sinnoh region, two years ago at the age of 21." Pausing to solidify his thoughts, Ash finally spoke aloud his impossible dream, "We're going to beat that. In eight years, we're going to do what no one else has ever managed before, and win it all the first chance we're able."
Deino's answering cry was the most intimidating sound Ash had heard his starter make.
Standing up, Ash began heading into town to restock supplies. With an aggressive grin of his own, Ash continued, "Still, that's eight years away, for now we just need to focus on improving. To start with, how would you like a name?"
Following along beside his trainer, Deino tilted his head and gave a curious growl.
"Of course. You are a deino, belonging to the Hydreigon line. But you aren't just a deino, you're an individual in your own right. So you should have a name to match. Just like I'm Ash, not Human."
At deino's agreeing nod, Ash smiled, "Cool. I did some research on your species and learned quite a bit from spending time with you, and I was thinking Perses would be a good name. It dates back thousands of years to ancient myth, but Perses was a god of destruction, and I think that's a fitting name for the strongest Pokémon to carry."
Deino's viscous growl was more than enough confirmation.
And walking down the streets of Viridian, Perses at his side, Ash could acknowledge: his journey had truly begun.
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Consider this my pilot episode. Future chapters, assuming I decide to keep writing this, will probably be longer. Then again, maybe not. Chapters will be long enough to cover their assigned content. I will not inflate my chapters in an effort to reach some arbitrary word count goal.
Anyways, a few points about this story.
First, as you can tell, Ash isn't going to be winning many battles for a while. A blind Pokémon that won't evolve for a long time. Ha, good luck with that. Plus, the next couple Pokémon won't be much better. That's okay though. One problem I have with a lot of Pokémon stories is Ash just wins all his battles except sometimes against a couple Gym Leaders or Super Strong Experienced Ace Trainer types. That's cool and all, but one of the biggest draws to a story is overcoming adversity. Struggling to succeed only to see it pay off in a satisfying conclusion. Or to fail in the end. Failure is just as interesting as victory when done right.
Second, Ash won't be catching a lot of Pokémon. As much as you and I might like a lot of them, each Pokémon is its own character and I won't short change them by trying to give Ash 50 of them to play with. Instead, he'll gain them slowly and their characters will be developed properly alongside the rest of the cast.
Third, no Misty. And (spoiler) no Brock. Ash might get a traveling companion or two later, but at this point in the story I don't want any.
Fourth, this will be a long term skill/power progression. In real life, it takes years to reach the top of a field. And then it takes further years to reach the very top.
Fifth, romance is not a plot point of interest in this story. In effect, consider this Gen. If people bother me about this too much, I'll make him the meat of a Wulfric/Agatha sandwich just to spite you.
If any of this is going to bother you, then leave. Or don't. I actually couldn't care less.
If you think this is something you'd be interested in reading more of, let me know.