(Wendy is in the bathroom relaxing in a warm, bubbly bath.
When she's done, she gets out of the tub and lifts out a towel.
The towel talks.)
Towelie: Hey!
(Wendy screams)
Towelie: Do you fucking mind? I'm getting high over here.
Wendy: You... can talk?
Towelie: Of course. Why wouldn't I be?
Wendy: Well, it's that your'e a towel.
Towelie: You're a towel, bitch.
Wendy: What?
Towelie: You heard me. Anyway, The name's Towelie, and also, I'm starving. I gotta eat shit.
(Towelie leaves the bathroom. He runs into Wendy's dad.)
Towlie: Don't mind me, sir, just goin' downstairs to eat shit.
(Towelie eats crackers and watches TV. Wendy enters in a bath robe.)
Wendy: Towelie, how did you get into my bathroom?
Towelie: I dunno. Let me get a little high to jog my memory.
(Towelie takes out a blunt and smokes it.)
Towelie: Hmmm, I was strolling around at 4 in the morning, feeling very, very high.
I then just passed out outside your house. Then all of a sudden, I was being soaked
into a washing machine, then i was left in the bathroom. I was there for 3 weeks straight.
Wendy: And you didn't do anything for 3 weeks because...
Towelie: Well, I guess I was too high to do anything actually.
(Towelie chews on a cracker.)
Wendy's mom: What the- Wendy, who or what is that?
Wendy: He's Towelie. He was in our bathroom this whole time.
Towelie: You got any churros or chips or meat? I'm still starving as shit.
Wendy: Oh, Jesus.
(Tomorrow, Wendy comes home from school, and finds Towelie lying down in the couch
with empty packs of chips are on the floor.)
Wendy: What the hell? Towelie!
Towelie: What? What do ya want?
Wendy: Towelie? Don't you think you should be outside instead of lying down eating potato chips
and smoking weed all day?
Towelie: Hmm? You had me at smoking weed.
(Towelie takes out another blunt and smokes it.)
Wendy: Goddammit.
(Wendy leaves the room.)
(Later, the Testaburgers are at the dining table and stare at Towelie eating a prime rib.)
Towelie: Oh, yeah. This is some good shit right here.
(Towelie continues to eat the rib.)
Wendy: I can't bare to watch.
(At night, Wendy can hear music coming from downstairs.
She and her parents go downstairs and see that Towelie is having a party with strangers.)
Wendy's mom: What the hell?
Wendy: Uh, son of a bitch! Where is he? Towelie! Towelie! Towelie!
Towelie: So I said to the ATM, suck my balls, asshole.
(Wendy pulls Towelie away from his guests.)
Wendy: Towelie! What in god's name do you think you're doing?!
Towelie: Hey, I don't remember you being invited. Security!
(Security kicks Wendy and her parents out of her house.)
Wendy: TOWELIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
(The next morning, The Testaburgers wake up outside and go back inside to see
their house a complete mess. Wendy finds Towelie and slaps him to wake him up.)
Wendy: Wake up. Wake up, you bastard!
Towelie: Ah! What?
Wendy's dad: What the hell have you done to our house, you idiot?
Wendy's mom: You barge in to our house, mooch off of us and throw a wild party overnight.
Wendy: Towelie, you need to get the fuck out of here right fucking now.
Towelie: Screw you, bitch. I ain't going nowhere and there's not a goddamn thing you can do about it.
(Wendy rolls Towelie up)
Wendy: FUCK... OFF!
(Towelie lands on the road where he is run over by a truck.)
Towelie: Ow! My fucking limbs. I think I know how to get rid of the pain.
(Towelie smokes weed in an attempt to rid the pain all over his body.)
The End.