It had been so long – so long since he'd felt this way. In his early, more pixilated days, the citizens of the Mushroom Kingdom would cower in fear at his presence, his minions looking on in reverie. But times had changed. He'd played the same role over and over, and what was once threatening had become little more than a reoccurring joke. And, of course, everyone knew the punchline – Mario saved the princess. And Bowser would go back to formulating his next plan that was inevitably doomed to fail.
But the way the room looked at him now – the goombas with their mouths hanging open, the shyguys with their wide eyes, the hammer bros gripping their hammers tightly – it was as if he had been reborn. He was something new, something exciting. Someone to be worshipped. And, best of all, someone to be feared. Because for all the joy his minions' awe brought him, it couldn't compare to the look on Mario's face.
The plumber had backed up into a corner, his small, plump self staring up with what could only be described as terror. It was a look Bowser had seen during their first meeting, way back in Level 1-4, and never since. The koopa king threw his head back and laughed. And what a strange laugh it was. Not his usual gruff, ground-shaking guffaw, but something that resonated with a wicked and distinctly feminine charm.
"What's the matter, Mario?" said Bowser, his new sultry voice filling the chamber. "Afraid? Don't like what you see? Or maybe…" Bowser stroked his hands over his full breasts, "…maybe you're afraid that you do like it."
"It's…" stammered Mario, "it's-a…you?!"
Bowser cackled again. "That's right, plumber. Your mortal enemy. Although I think the name 'Bowser' is a little…old hat. Wouldn't you agree?" He twirled around, showing off his slender, humanoid body, complete with spikey shell and signature horns. "What do you think of…Bowsette? The greatest princess the Mushroom Kingdom has ever known."
A cheer came from the crowd of bad guys, all hailing their ruler's new form. All except one. A pink figure who slipped out of the back door, unnoticed.
Bowsette strutted toward Mario with a sharp-toothed grin. "Now…what do you say we have a little…fun? Just you and me. One-on-one." She stopped in front of Mario, pausing for a few moments before turning to glare at her minions. "I SAID, ONE-ON-ONE!"
The crowd quickly dispersed, leaving the hero and the villain alone together. Bowsette leaned over, exposing her massive cleavage to her arch-enemy.
"Mama mia," said Mario, staring in spite of himself, a blush coming over his face.
"What'd ya say, plumber? Wanna inspect my pipes?" She leaned one hand against the wall, stoking the other down the side of Mario's face and twirling a finger in his mustache. "You wanna play Doctor Mario on me?"
"Bowser, this is-a…this is-a crazy!"
"How long has it been for you, Mario?"
"How…how long since I…make-a spaghetti?" Mario tried, with a nervous smile.
"Since you've fucked, Mario," said Bowsette, grabbing his shirt and pushing him against the wall. "How long has it been since you've fucked someone?"
Mario gulped. "This is…so unlike-a you."
"Answer the question, Jumpman."
"It's been…" Mario lowered his cap to hide his face and looked away, "I've never actually…oooooooooh nooooooooo…."
Bowsette's eyes went wide. And then she threw her head back once again and laughed uproariously. "Holy fire-flower, you've never been…? You've never had your beanstalk climbed? Never done the happy thwomp dance? Never shared your 1-up?"
Mario grinned uncomfortably and shook his head.
"Geez, Mario, even I've gotten laid! And I'm a giant turtle-monster! Or rather…" she leaned in closer, "I was. Tell me, do you like this new form?"
Mario's focus had shifted back to her breasts and he nodded his head.
She ran a finger across his lips and then down to one of the buttons on his overalls. "Do you want to feel what it's like…inside?"
"Oh yeah."
"Then get ready…" she unfastened one strap, "…Player 1," then the other. "The game's just about to start."