A/N: Okay, before we get into this, you have to understand that I hold a lot of respect for Master Splinter. I do. But I'm really dealing with some crap right now...crap I'm tired of dealing with. This is my way of coping, I suppose.

Blame

Leo was ten years old the first time it happened.

He and his brothers had been playing hide and seek in the Lair while Splinter was out on a scavenging trip. The rat had left strict instructions for his "eldest" - they were not to leave the Lair. Take care of his brothers. The usual rules. And for a while, all had been fine.

Their home was, for once, completely silent. Each turtle was doing his best to stay hidden from Leo, who had been assigned the role of "it."

And that's how he heard it. A tiny rattle, like glass marbles on the concrete floor, slowly growing louder. Leo glanced around and his eyes widened with horror as he saw his father's favorite vase rocking back and forth on its table - the table that Mikey had tried, and failed, to crawl under. The younger turtle was staring in rapt attention at the vase, which tilted-

-and fell on the ground inches from his head. Somehow, Leo had managed to get across the room within seconds and shove his brother out of the way. Unfortunately, that meant the vase hit him instead. Directly on his left leg. The ten-year-old's expression twisted in pain and he bit his lip to keep from crying out.

Equally unfortunately, Splinter chose that exact moment to re-enter the Lair and discover his bleeding son sitting in a pile of ceramic shards.

"Leonardo! What have you done?" That was...that was real anger in his voice.

"Father, I-"

"I wish to hear no excuses, Leonardo. I have taught you better than this. What example are you setting for your brothers?"

"But I didn't-"

"Enough. Donatello will bandage your leg, and you may explain to him why you are bleeding. Then you will spend the night in your bedroom alone. Wakarimasuka?"

"Sensei-"

"Wakarimasuka?!"

Leo blinked back tears and nodded. "H-Hai, Sensei. Wakarimasu."

With that, Splinter turned and called for Donnie. Leo took the opportunity to glance at Mikey...or at least, at the spot where Mikey used to be. His heart sank and he wanted to cry in frustration. But he was almost eleven years old now, and Master Splinter would most likely be angrier if he did. So he sucked it up.

Even when Donnie sighed and shook his head. Even when Sensei just gave him a disappointed look and walked away. Even when they others were having fun without him.

He was the big brother. It was his job to look out for them, after all. The fun had to end sometime.

TMNT/TMNT/TMNT

It happened again when they were fourteen. It was the first time that Splinter had ever let them go with him on a scavenging trip.

The younger three had gotten into an argument, which Leo had managed to tune out until precisely three seconds ago - when he'd heard them discussing whether or not Raphael could actually make it upstream against the current of rapidly flowing water next to their group.

"Don't even try it, Raph," he said quietly but firmly.

"Oh yeah, Splinter Junior? What, you gonna try and stop me?"

"No. I said don't do it because you'd never make it."

It was the wrong thing to say.

Leo didn't even have time to breathe before Raph slammed him into the concrete. The brawler's hands were around his neck, and there was white-hot rage in his eyes.

"I'm so sick of your crap!" Raph snarled. "You think I can't do anything! Yeah, like you're so much better than the rest of us. Splinter said this. Splinter said that. Get a life, Leonardo. Jeez, do you even have an original thought?"

"Raph, can't...breathe-"

But Raph's hands were tightening of their own accord, without him realizing it. Or maybe he did realize it and just didn't care.

"P-Please-"

Head pounding, lungs straining to drag in oxygen. Leo squeezed his eyes shut and reached out to claw at the vice on his throat. His legs jerked, body bucking upwards just enough to launch his bigger sibling a few feet away.

There was a faint splash and then a strange noise in Leo's ears as he gasped for breath, curling up on his side and wrapping his arms around himself. The noise sounded like screaming.

It sounded like death.

When he came to, he was back in the lab, hooked up to a single IV. There was a blurry form to his right that slowly came into focus.

Leo swallowed - then winced as his ravaged throat protested. "M-Master Splinter," he greeted hoarsely.

"You nearly killed him," Splinter said abruptly, in a voice that was far too collected - like the calm before the storm.

"What?"

"Raphael almost perished, Leonardo. And all because you could not perform the one simple task I had assigned to you. You had to argue with your brother, come to physical confrontation with him, and nearly killed him as a result."

Leo's ears were ringing, his head spinning. "N-No... he's fine. He's fine, Father. I just pushed him away."

And there was the anger. The master ninja leaned forward, close enough to where Leo could see the redness of his eyes. "You shoved him into the river!" he snapped. "He would have drowned had I not realized what happened! Do you not understand?!"

"I-" Raphael... I almost killed my own brother. Oh, Kraang. I'm gonna be sick. "F-Father, I-"

SLAP!

The teen jerked at the stinging in his cheek, unable to believe what had just happened. Splinter had... Splinter had hit him. Physically hit him, on purpose, in a fit of rage.

Tears filled his cobalt eyes and he shrank back, cowering under his teacher's gaze.

"I am finished with you," the older mutant spat. "Do not let me see your face again until you can act like the person I raised you to be." And then he was gone.

Leonardo started sobbing.

TMNT/TMNT/TMNT

After that, the blame became more and more frequent. As did the abuse. But he never said anything. Actually, he stopped speaking entirely. Silence meant safety.

And nobody wanted to hear him anyway.

There was nothing for him anymore except training. He took his meals in his bedroom alone, and every other waking moment was spent in the dojo.

Raph called him horrible names. Spat at him. Jeered.

Donnie ignored him. Said it wasn't even worth trying.

Only Mikey even bothered to look at him anymore, and that was only for a few seconds here and there.

Splinter appeared every few days in his bedroom, beat him senseless, and then left again.

So slowly, Leonardo faded into the background. He became little more than a ghost - a ghost that still felt the pain and agony of the world, of a life gone wrong, of a childhood taken away. He didn't know what he'd done to deserve any of this. He didn't know why his own father hated him.

And eventually, he couldn't take the pain anymore.

A/N: I have a second part in mind for this...

Look, I know that this will probably concern a lot of people. I'm not in danger - really, I'm not - even though my dad drives me up a wall all the time. I don't know why this got as dark as it did. It just kinda happened. And like I said, I do respect Splinter. The only incarnation I think would be incapable of caring is the 2018 incarnation.

Anyway... I'm just gonna go now.

Please review?