Domestic Fluff

by theanonymouslibrarians

Note: I do not own the Bartimaeus series or any of its characters. Obviously.

01. "So." Bartimaeus says, one day, looking much more flustered than usual. "You and Kitty. You'll be getting married soon.
"Mmhm." Nathaniel glances up from his book. "A little over a week."
"And afterwards...the two of you will be going on a honeymoon."
"To Aruba. You know that!"
"Yes, yes." Bartimaeus begins fiddling with a zipper on his jacket. "It's just...the two of you will be alone on the honeymoon."
"I'm sure we'll be fine."
"Yes...it's just...well...Nat...do you actually know how to...?"
"How to what?" Nathaniel narrows his eyes, looking up at the djinni, who's behaving very oddly.
Bartimaeus clears his throat. "Well, you see...when a couple goes a honeymoon...they usually go to...well..."
"OH MY...SHUT UP!" Nathaniel flushes, suddenly understanding what the djinni was getting at.
"I just wanted to make sure-" Bartimaeus stops as a dictionary is lobbed in his direction.
"We," Nathaniel hisses, "are never talking about this again. Understand?"
"Yes! Yes! Fine with me!" Bartimaeus says hurriedly, avoiding the magician's eyes.
Nathaniel glares at him for a moment, then resumes reading his book, jotting down notes in the margins.
"But seriously, Nat, you do know how, right?"

02. Kitty and Nathaniel's wedding is a small affair. Oh, they can't quite manage to keep it out of the papers. The press has a field day with trite little headlines like, "The Magician and the Commoner," and even invent the joint name of "KittyNat" for the pair.
Still, they manage to keep the exact location a secret by only inviting a handful of guests: the Hyrneks, Ms. Lutyens, and Mr. Buttons. Bartimaeus is Nathaniel's best man, and Ms. Piper is Kitty's maid-of-honor. There are no groomsmen or bridesmaids, neither Kitty nor Nathaniel having anyone they're close enough to to ask.
Kitty had thought long and hard about whether or not to invite her parents. Ultimately, she had decided that she was just not ready.

03. Bartimaeus isn't surprised or hurt when he's not invited on the honeymoon. He'd rather not walk in on his two humans consummating their relationship. But he'd be lying if he said he wasn't a bit anxious. Two whole weeks in Aruba without any djinni to protect them...anything could go wrong. Besides, Bartimaeus isn't entirely sure that Nathaniel knows how to swim.

04. Kitty doesn't tell Nathaniel, but sometimes it's very hard to go out in public with him. Her aged appearance makes people think that she's older than she is and, when they see her with a man who's obviously in his twenties and realize that they're together, they look at her with disdain. Equally hard is when they look at her with pity, perhaps wondering if she's rich and Nathaniel is only with her for her money. Kitty tries to ignore the looks, and tell herself that it doesn't matter what people think. But, still, it hurts.

05. When Nathaniel hears that Kitty is pregnant, it's the most terrifying moment of his life. Oh, he puts on a big grin, and holds her tight. He's always been good at lying. But inside, he's thinking about how he's never had a father. Not really. How is he supposed to raise a child, and what if he ruins his baby the way he ruined himself?

06. When Kitty finds out she's pregnant, she's terrified. It's not that she doesn't want the baby. It's not that she's afraid Nathaniel will be a bad father or that she will be a bad mother. She knows they won't be perfect, but they'll manage alright, and Bartimaeus will be quick to tell them if they're doing something wrong. It's that she's not sure if her trip to the Other Place will affect their baby. She's young, but the trip aged her, and she sometimes feels winded by activities that she could have done without breaking a sweat before her journey. She hears that sometimes babies born to older couples suffer from birth defects. Will her past decisions harm her future child and will the child be able to forgive her?

07. When Kitty wants to name their son Ptolemy, in honor of, well, Ptolemy, Bartimaeus is grateful that Nathaniel stops her. Nathaniel says that it's because their son would get teased for having a name like that, but Bartimaeus thinks that Nathaniel knows that it would be too painful for Bartimaeus to hear another child called by that name every day. They settle on Alexander.

08. "It'll be okay, you know." Nathaniel glances up at the ceiling above the crib, where a squat, bug-eyed toad is sitting. Ever since they'd brought Alexander home from the hospital, Bartimaeus had been spending more and more time watching over the infant. "I mean, sure he'll have your genes, but I think with Kitty's he has a decent chance of looking okay."
Nathaniel gives a humorless chuckle. "I don't care what he ends up looking like. It's just...I...Bartimaeus-"
"You're a better man than you were three years ago, Nathaniel. And you still have a conscience."
"But, what if I-"
"Look, you obviously love him. And that's the most important thing of all. Or so I hear. I've never had children, myself. Now, go back to sleep. It's late, and Alexander and I are bonding."

09. Bartimaeus isn't used to being around children. Of all the duties magicians have summoned him to do over the years, babysitting isn't one of them. On the contrary. Whenever he had been around magicians with children of their own, the magicians had bound him with even harsher spells. It was rare for Bartimaeus to even see the children and, whenever he'd been in the same room as them, his masters had always watched him with a suspicious, fearful gaze, as if they thought he'd devour their offspring if given a chance.
Nathaniel and Kitty are relaxed around him. They don't bind him with any restrictions, instead trusting in their bond to keep Bartimaeus from attacking them. Still, it's somewhat of a surprise when, one day, the doorbell rings, and Nathaniel shoves his newborn son into Bartimaeus' arms, asking him to watch him while he sees who it is.

10. Bartimaeus will deny it if Nathaniel or Kitty ever ask him, but he spends countless hours coaching Alexander. From the day the kid is born, Bartimaeus uses every moment he can get alone with the baby to teach him.
Finally, when Alexander is almost a year old and Nathaniel and Kitty are eating breakfast, Bartimaeus waltzes into the dining room and the baby gives a cry of glee and says his first word: "Bamae! Bamae!"
Well, it's close enough.