This idea came to me while working out the details of a longer story — I saw the opportunity to get Anne accidentally drunk but didn't think it fit in the story. I still liked the plot bunny so I wrote this instead. I hope you enjoy it!

~~START OF STORY~~

As she stood in front of the tall double doors of Kellynch Hall, Anne Elliot contemplated how strange it felt to be a visitor rather than a resident. Her father, Sir Walter, had recently removed to Bath with her oldest sister and rented out their ancestral home to pay down debts, and the new tenants, Admiral and Sophia Croft, moved in three weeks ago. Anne was already acquainted with the Crofts and enjoyed their company, but had only met them in the neighbouring village of Uppercross where she stayed with her sister, Mary Musgrove. This was not due to a lack of hospitality from the Crofts; rather, Anne had deliberately avoided Kellynch because of her sad history with Sophia's youngest brother, Captain Frederick Wentworth, who was also staying at the Hall. Eight years ago, Anne and Frederick were engaged but she was persuaded to give him up, and he never forgave her for deserting him. Though he no longer loved her, she still loved him and the possibility of being in those same hallways and rooms with her former betrothed would be too painful to bear.

Unfortunately for Anne, her absence from Kellynch was now at an end. She, Frederick and the Crofts often dined at Mr. Musgrove's Great House, and when they attended last night, Sophia mentioned that she would visit two Kellynch tenants today: Mrs. Sparrow, who had just been delivered of her eleventh child; and old Mr. Huntley, who had fallen quite ill. Anne knew both families well and when she expressed a wish to call on them, Sophia suggested that she call at Kellynch Hall first and they could go together. Unable to think of a suitable excuse, Anne reluctantly agreed to the plan.

She now had a fleeting thought that she ought to turn around, but at that moment the large doors opened and a cheerful, middle-aged man greeted her.

"Miss Elliot? Samuel Lewis at your service, ma'am. Mrs. Croft told me you would be arriving at one o'clock. Please come in. I will take your coat." Anne shed her pelisse and he led her to the drawing room. "Please have a seat. Mrs. Croft and the Admiral went out in the gig this morning but we expect them back at any moment now."

Anne settled into the familiar gilt armchair with gold and cream stripes and the Elliot coat of arms carved into the mahogany back. Another man entered the room with a limp and Anne noticed his wooden leg. He made a slight bow. "Joseph Keane, your ladyship, but please call me Joe."

Anne explained that he should call her Miss Elliot and he nodded but did not attend. He knew that Anne's family owned Kellynch Hall and thought with such a grand house, she must be called "lady."

"May I offer you refreshments, my lady? A cup of grog, perhaps?" Joe asked.

Anne's eyes widened. She knew about grog but had never tasted it before.

"We are sailors, ma'am," Samuel explained upon seeing her reaction. "Even with the peace we still enjoy our grog, but — come now, Joe, is that what which you offer a young lady?"

"But Mrs. Croft drinks it," Joe said defensively.

"Mrs. Croft ain't your usual gentlewoman. She has lived on several ships and is used to our ways."

Anne smiled, amused at the two men's banter. "I thought grog was something you drink after dinner."

"Oh, it is, my lady, certainly it is," Joe nodded. "On a ship, we eat dinner at eight bells in the forenoon watch, and grog is served a quarter of an hour after, you understand."

"Of course she don't understand, Joe, she ain't got no notion of watches or bells! What he means, Miss Elliot, is that we eat dinner at noon and have grog at quarter past noon. And it is now one o'clock, as you know."

"Oh, I see," Anne replied. "In that case, I would be delighted to try some grog."

Joe smiled broadly and bowed, then hobbled out of the room. Samuel called after him, "Tell Duncan we need 'em cakes, too."

As they waited for Joe to return, Samuel told Anne how all of the servants at Kellynch Hall were sailors who had served under Admiral Croft for years. After the peace, they had been turned ashore and the Admiral, fondly attached to many of them and knowing how difficult finding work could be (especially for the injured ones like Joe), hired as many of them as he could. Samuel was a former boatswain and now the butler, while Joe was a former forecastle hand turned footman. Duncan, the cook, had been Admiral Croft's personal cook in the East Indies, and the man who had served as his steward was his valet. Still others worked as footmen, grooms and gardeners, and even those duties normally reserved for women, such as the housekeeper's and maids' work, were done by men, for sailors knew how to sew and clean as well.

"The only woman working here is Mrs. Croft's lady's maid," Samuel said rather proudly.

Anne saw the naval influence in the furniture as well. Her father had left several pieces behind when he went to Bath, and now the rosewood settee covered in rich green and gold fabric looked strange between two wooden chairs with black leather seats, which Samuel explained used to reside in Admiral Croft's cabin.

Atop the chimney-piece, the ornate bracket clock chimed a quarter past one. Anne noticed other items next to the clock and Samuel went to pick them up.

"This is a compass and this is a chronometer. The clock is nice to look at but not terribly accurate, so we use the chronometer to re-adjust it once a week." He brought them to Anne and explained how they worked. She was familiar with both items, having been told about them by Frederick long ago, but listened politely.

At the sound of slow thumping behind her, Anne turned to see Joe walking in, carefully holding a large silver tray filled to the edge with cakes and sandwiches on one side and glasses with various coloured liquids on the other side.

"I told Duncan that Lady Elliot was here for a visit and he insisted on providing these refreshments," Joe said as he slowly set the tray down on a table. He handed a glass to Anne. "This here is the grog. Duncan said he made it more suitable for a lady."

Anne assumed this meant the grog had been watered down more than the usual amount, but what it really meant was that honey and cinnamon had been added to the drink.

Joe passed a glass to Samuel and took one for himself and raised it. "In the navy, we toast before we drink."

"What do you toast to?"

"Many things, my lady. First, we drink to the King."

"To the King!" Samuel suddenly cried out of habit.

"To the King!" Anne echoed. They drank from their glasses. Anne found the grog to be pleasantly sweet.

"Next we say 'Confusion to the French!'" Samuel said. "Though we are no longer at war, I think it is still a good toast."

"Confusion to the French!" Anne and Joe said, and she took another sip.

"Let us now drink to Admiral and Mrs. Croft's health," said Samuel, and so they did.

"We should drink to our health too," said Joe, and Anne sipped again.

Samuel asked, "What would you like to drink to, Miss Elliot?"

Anne thought for a moment. "The Royal Navy."

Joe and Samuel smiled and nodded in approval.

After that toast, Anne ate some cake and Joe handed her a new glass.

"This drink is called Admiral's Flip. It is Mrs. Croft's favourite, so Duncan and I thought you might like to try it."

Anne accepted the glass, having no idea that it contained a potent combination of half champagne, half brandy. They toasted to the King again and she enjoyed the trail of warmth the liquid left in her throat and stomach. She took larger and larger sips as they repeated the other toasts: confusion to the French, Admiral and Mrs. Croft, themselves, and the Royal Navy.

At this point, Sophia still had not appeared and Anne wondered aloud about her absence.

"Admiral Croft is as punctual and reliable as the sun," Samuel said. "He would never be late if he could help it, so I think he must have upset the gig today."

"Oh no!" Anne said with a concerned look.

"'Tis nothing to worry about, Miss Elliot. It happens very often. Would you like to keep waiting or should I find someone to take you back to Uppercross?"

"I will wait," Anne replied, enjoying Samuel and Joe's company.

"In that case," Joe said happily, taking another glass, "you must try Dog's Nose." They toasted five more times. Samuel and Joe told a few stories about the navy and Anne laughed, thinking they were possibly the funniest men she knew.

After the next drink, they sang "Hearts of Oak" and Anne played on the pianoforte to accompany their voices. Once they finished the last line "We'll fight and we'll conquer again and again," Joe took another glass.

"This drink here is Black Strap."

Followed by "this is Bouleponges."

And finally "this is Bumbo."

With each new glass, they all three cried out together:

"To the King!"

"Confusion to the French!"

"To Admiral and Mrs. Croft!"

"To ourselves!"

"To the Royal Navy!"

~~END OF CHAPTER~~