They weren't supposed to meet like this.

Kaneki had wondered before how meeting Hide again would go. After all this was over, if ever, he would knock on Hide's door and wait patiently for the boy's steps to come closer and finally see him peering behind the door. He would be angry but him being a literal sunshine, he would let Kaneki inside. The blond would make them coffee (black for Kaneki and a lot of cream for Hide) and they would sit down. They would talk everything through, calmly. Kaneki would even laugh again after a long time in Hide's calming presence. Hide had that effect on him.

Actually, they weren't supposed to meet at all. Not yet, at least.

He had heard the sound of a bicycle entering the dark alley. The ghoul had gotten up but didn't dare to turn around. Though his kagune was ready to attack the intruder. Then he smelled it. Sweat, cologne, hamburgers at Big girl, all the sleepovers they had had together, them reading to exams together, just them talking and laughing together, home. Hide. And then he was panicking. Calm down, calm down, calm down-

They really shouldn't have their "reunion" like this. Definitely not like this. Not when he was devouring another ghoul. Another ghoul. That made Kaneki think about the worst. Did Hide know? No, he couldn't. Even if he did, he probably wouldn't know this was him. Could he scare him away? Yeah, that would be the best for them. Hide would be save far away from him. Kaneki carefully closed the zipper of his mask. Eating could wait.

Hide had gotten off his bike and was now taking a tentative step forward. He rubbed his neck in a nervous manner. "Hey–" came the soothing voice of the blond not so far away from the half-ghoul. He couldn't see Kaneki's mouth hanging open behind his mask.

What are you doing, Hide?!

If some other ghoul had been in his place, Hide would already be dead. You don't just talk to people who have a dead body in front of them who they killed themselves. He had to do something.

"If you come any closer," Kaneki tried to sound threatening, "I'll... I'll eat you!"

Hide didn't even flinch.

Kaneki had to try something else. He cracked his finger loudly, the sickening sound echoing in the silence, and turned to face his best friend, his visible red eye flaring in the darkness.

"You know... I'm going to tear your stomach open, slowly, and pull all your intestines out while you're still alive. Then I will proceed to dig your eyes out of your skull one by one. I'll rip your limbs apart. What is still left of you will be such a gruesome sight that even ghoul investigators want to puke their guts out. Killing you will be bloody and oh so delicious," the ghoul could keep going on forever. He didn't want to admit it, but his stomach growled. "You smell so, so good." He couldn't keep the maniac smile out of his face.

Maybe this would scare Hide away and keep him far from Kaneki.

Hide had the audacity to laugh. "Kaneki, I'm sure that a cup of coffee would taste a lot better than me."

Kaneki's first thought was 'shit'.

His second thought was 'run'. His body was also screaming that.

But he decided to ask: "C-can I chance my clothes first," after noticing he was still covered in blood he added, "and shower?"

It wasn't a nice feeling, having his fears being proven right.

Hide knew.

He had thought about that possibility before, too. It was realistic that he would know. It was kind of foolish of him to even think otherwise. His best friend wasn't stupid. He noticed small details, but always pretended he didn't.

They were currently at Hide's small apartment. The boy hadn't let Kaneki, according to him, get away so he had dragged him here. It was a cosy home for a student, but the atmosphere felt suffocating. Kaneki had used a little more time in the shower than needed. He was also sporting a yellow t-shirt and a pair of jeans, all Hide's. The colours felt foreign on him.

It was so quiet he could hear his frantically beating heart and his own breathing – which wasn't automatic anymore. He proceeded to take slow calming breaths. Concentrating on his surroundings, he could distinguish the ticking of the clock on the wall from the one in Hide's bedroom. The sound of it was mildly irritating now that he thought about it. Faint steps. The chair close by moved making an unpleasant sound against the floor.

"Don't space out," said the boy in front of him whose hand was just inches from his face, waving.

Ah.

Then he quickly withdrew his hand back after realizing what he had done, not sure if the other could handle the proximity. "Coffee?" he asked, scratching his neck.

Kaneki just nodded gingerly.

Hide got up and proceeded to make the beverage.

Now that Hide's back faced Kaneki, the half-ghoul had time to look at him properly. His hair had grown, he noted. It almost reached his shoulders. Nonetheless, Hide's hair was still dyed to be the same yellowish colour it had always been. Kaneki honestly couldn't remember ever seeing it being naturally brown. And it still stuck out in every direction. Kaneki just wanted to ruffle it, have their old intimacy back. But at the same time, having it back scared him.

How much had happened to Hide while he was being away for months? What had he missed out while not being in his life?

Hide's voice shook Kaneki out of his thoughts. "This isn't the best coffee, but I still hope you'll like it." The blond placed a colourful flower-patterned cup in front of Kaneki. Kaneki was so tense it took him a while to place the cup to his lips and not spill the drink because of his trembling hands. Hide had been right, he had tasted better, but this coffee tasted greater than anything he had had for a while. It was made by Hide. Hide.

Hide, who had reached for him despite him being a ghoul. Despite him leaving his best friend behind without even saying goodbye. Despite everything. Hide, who was now smiling sweetly at him. He had missed that.

He placed the cup down and muttered a quiet 'thanks'.

Hide sat down in front of the other boy after pouring a cup of coffee for himself. Half of his was milk. Kaneki made a face. Hide grinned back but then worry crossed his face. "Sooo... We need to talk," Hide decided suddenly.

God no.

Kaneki kept staring at his black coffee while fidgeting with his hands. He knew they would have to talk at some point, but he wasn't ready. He would probably never be ready. This whole awkward situation was his fault. If he had just been smart and eaten yesterday or not at all. Or if he had just fled from the scene. Different scenarios played in his mind. But he had made his choice and there was no going back. A firm hand crabbed his shoulder. When he lifted his gaze, he was met by two warm, brown eyes. "It's okay. Relax. It's just us. You and me. Two friends talking over coffee. No big deal."

Except it was. Kaneki let out a bitter laugh.

How has it come to this?

The laugh turned into an ugly sob. Kaneki had to make a great effort to keep the tears from coming. He didn't allow himself to cry now.

Hide's hand that had just moments before been on his shoulder, was now wiping away the single tear rolling down his cheek that had managed to escape.

"I was worried about you, you know," Hide spoke first, smiling reassuringly at his best friend, "You just disappeared out of nowhere and suddenly I was alone, not sure of what had happened to you."

Kaneki gripped at his trousers, looking anywhere except Hide. "I was-" his voice cracked at the end, "I was also... alone." Of course he was. It had been his decision to be alone. He had separated himself from Hide, thinking it was the right choice. He still thought it was. He was a monster. The corpse of the person he had just ripped apart an hour ago was presumably still rotting in the dark alleyway waiting for somebody to find it. He was glad Hide hadn't mentioned it.

"Hide," he called the boy's name quietly. Hide's gaze landed on him and he urged him to go on.

"What were you doing? Outside this late, I mean," Kaneki questioned.

Hide shifted uncomfortably on his seat across from Kaneki but tried not to show it on his face. He was supposed to make Kaneki open up to him and fix their friendship to what it had been. Or at least close to it. Hide wasn't going to give up on Kaneki.

He wasn't the same Kaneki he had grown with anymore, but it was fine. This was still Kaneki and Hide would do everything he could to help him.

If Kaneki's pure white hair like snow and unhealthy black fingernails were anything to go by, something had happened to his friend and he desperately wanted to know what had chanced him so drastically. But he couldn't pressure Kaneki, he knew that. If Kaneki didn't want to say anything, he wouldn't. He hoped that answering his question would make the half-ghoul be able to say something about what he had been doing these past months and why he had disappeared.

Hide already had a suspicion about why Kaneki hadn't come back. Kaneki didn't always realize how important he was to others, that he had value. He had probably been thinking that Hide was better off without him and that he was just keeping him safe.

"I was looking for you," Hide beamed. "A peculiar ghoul group had been seen nearby and I decided to check it out. My hunch had been right." Before Kaneki could say about how dangerous that was, Hide continued. "I started working for the CCG." Kaneki shot up. "I'm only a part-timer, don't worry. I figured I might find something related to you there that would help me to find you." Hide gestured to the abandoned chair. "So, will you stay?" he almost pleaded.

After looking warily at Hide and then at the chair, Kaneki sat down again.

"You don't have to tell me everything but-"

Kaneki cracked a finger anxiously. "I'm a monster, Hide."

"So that's what's been bothering you?" Hide asked and placed his own hand over Kaneki's. He smiled genuinely at the half-ghoul and intertwined their fingers. Kaneki didn't pull his hand back or show any other signs of discomfort, so he thought it was okay.

"We have been friends since we were little, and we'll be in the future too. Nothing will change that. I will always be here for you, you nerd." Hide grinned.

A small smile graced Kaneki's lips, and he hummed in response.

Hide had a soothing voice like honey that always knew the right things to say to make others feel better. With Hide Kaneki could almost forget all his problems.

"I'm sorry. For everything. But can we talk some other time? I'm... not sure if I can talk about past right now," Kaneki trailed off.

"Apology accepted!" Hide exclaimed. "And you just promised that we will meet again. You can't get rid of me anymore," Hide said and pretended to laugh evilly.

"Yeah. Yeah, I did."

After drinking the now lukewarm coffee, they moved to sit on Hide's couch. It was old and a little stained due to dinner spent in the wrong place, but still comfy.

Kaneki looked thoughtful as he stared at the wall while leaning on Hide's shoulder. He was getting sleepy.

"But how did you know it was me?" the white-haired boy decided to ask.

"Well, 'Eyepatch', you still sound the same." Just a bit sadder though.

"Damn. I really should have ran away when I still could."

Hide pouted. Nonetheless, he was glad that Kaneki's witty attitude was back.

And he knew how to respond to it.

"It's not everyday that your best friend threatens to gobble you up," Hide chuckled while resting his chin on his hand, a fond smile on his face.

"Please stop talking," Kaneki pleaded.

Hide was laughing again. It's contagious, the kind that makes you feel all warm inside. Yeah. They will be fine, the two of them.