We back baby! Yes, I am! I know it's been a while but there was a whole debate in my head whether or not I had it enough inspiration in the next few seasons to actually write the next chapters to follow. Hope it was worth the wait. Enjoy as always.
Disclaimer: I do not own the Flash nor it's characters
Barry's POV
Barry didn't stop running. He felt as though he'd never stop running, but as he sped through the speed force and through the front door, he knew what he had to do. There was no turning back now. It was too late for regrets.
Her screams were what broke him. She was screaming for him.
"Barry!" she cried out.
Barry stood there for less than half a second as he watched his memories unfold before him. It all came crashing into him in torturous waves. The Reverse Flash. His mother. Her murder. But this time, he had the power to fix his past and change his future.
Feeling the electricity pulse through his body, Barry sped forward slamming the Reverse Flash against the living room wall. Around them frames and glass shattered at their feet. Unexpectedly, with the element of surprise, Barry unleashed his repressed anger and hatred brewing within him, knocking the man in yellow to the floor. Blood trickled from a cut on his cheek, but as Barry towered over his limp body, he couldn't help but think that was nothing compared to what he deserved. Gripping tightly against the collar of his enemy's suit, Barry held him inches from the ground before delivering a final punch that knocked him out cold. Blinded by his anger and loss, Barry stood over his body, quivering with rage. It wasn't until his mother's screams grounded him.
Barry inhaled a sharp breathe composing himself. Turning around slowly, he looked into the soft familiar eyes of his mother. And in her eyes he found that peace of a future family whole. His mother was home.
It had been approaching six months to the day since he had ran back in time and fought to save everything that had once been taken from him. Turning over to his side, he opened his eyes welcoming the sight of his pregnant wife laying peacefully in a quiet slumber beside him. To this day, Barry still woke up frightened that all of this was dream, that in any moment this illusion would shatter around him and he would wake back up with both his parents gone. Reaching out, he held his hand over Caitlin's expanded stomach. She was almost due. A smile crept across his face. He was happy.
Suddenly the squeals of his three year old daughter came barrelling into their room, struggling onto their bed. Barry laughed leaning over the covers, scooping up his daughter into his arms. Charlie jumped onto his chest, her favourite bunny latched securely between her arms.
"Daddy, daddy, daddy!" she yelled.
"Ssshhh mommy's still sleeping." He whispered breaking into a smile.
"But I'm hungry." She pouted, her big brown eyes gleaming.
"Okay, okay, let's go and make breakfast." He nodded.
Charlie hurled herself around his neck, clinging onto him as he shifted out from underneath the sheets and pulling himself out of bed. As he quietly left the room, Barry shuffled down the hall towards the kitchen, Charlie still squirming impatiently in his arms.
"So what do you want for breakfast?" he asked kissing her on the side of the head.
"PANCAKES!" she screamed.
"Pancakes it is." He laughed setting his daughter down.
Barry watched over her as she jetted off as soon as her feet touch solid ground.
Rummaging through the kitchen, Barry laid out the ingredients. Just as he had the batter prepped, the doorbell chimed beckoning him away. Licking the top of his thumb clean, Barry dusted his hands on his tracksuit as he made his way to the front door.
"Mom… dad?"
"Morning Barry! You alright?" His dad asked as he shuffled past his son.
"Yeah... everything's perfect." Barry smiled as he welcomed a hug from his mother. Barry leaned into her arms, tightening his grip. Even after these past few months with her, he'd never pass an opportunity to hug her.
"What is with you? You hug me every chance you get."
"Do you want me to stop?" Barry pulled back, raising a brow.
"No! I love it." she smiled back.
"Ganma… ganpa!" Charlie squealed as she came stumbling over her feet towards them.
"Hey squirt!" Henry beamed as he knelt down towards his granddaughter.
"Where's Caitlin?" Nora mused as she searched around the open living area.
"She's still asleep, I'm letting her rest while… we…" Barry emphasised as he picked up his daughter twirling her around before cradling her to the side of his hip.
"...make her some pancakes in bed… huh?" He continued, setting Charlie down on the edge of the kitchen bench.
"She has the best guy…. And our girl has the best daddy." Nora noted as she held onto Charlie bouncing on the counters edge careful not to let her fall.
"Well we were going to take you guys out to breakfast. But since Caitlin's still asleep, why don't we take Charlie and you guys get some alone time?" His mother suggested.
"Can I come, can I come?" Charlie begged, her eyes growing wide.
"That'd be amazing mom." Barry sighed happily.
"Come on; let's see how fast we can get ready?" His father dared Charlie, as he took her wound up in his arms towards her bedroom.
"Hey mom?" Barry whispered.
"What's up beautiful boy?" she said as she eased the dirty dishes into the washer.
"I love you."
She smiled up at him. "I love you to."
Yawning, Barry stretched out on the couch. He must have fallen asleep. Waking groggily as he opened his eyes, patting down his chest, his eyes searched the room for his wife. With her nowhere in sight, Barry rubbed a hand over his face waking himself up. She must still be in the bedroom. Tipping his feet over the side of the sofa, Barry buried his head waiting until he was fully awake. It was the panicked sound of his wife screaming out his name; that roared a fire in him; he jolted to his feet his heart thumping against his chest as he raced toward her.
"Barry!" Caitlin cried.
Barry fumbled into the bedroom, Caitlin clutching the end post of their bed as her other hand cradled her stomach.
"Aahh" she cried in pain.
Barry's eyes widened in panic. Without hesitation he flew to her side, supporting her as she fell into his arms weakened.
He forced his voice to stay level. "Everything's going to be fine." He reassured her, composing his face, trying desperately to keep it together.
Swiftly, he pulled Caitlin up into his arms and sped towards the hospital. As he got there she was immediately taken into the care of the doctors and nurses. Barry was left stranded in the middle of hospital corridor, left with nothing but the echoes of her screams of pain ringing in his ears.
A suffocating panic crippled him causing his lungs to burn. She was going to be okay. He repeated to himself as he paced up and down the sterile halls of the hospital. Everything was going to be okay.
He couldn't be sure how much time had passed. What felt like an eternity, Barry grew impatient. She had been in the OR for longer than he had expected. What was taking so long? Where the hell was she? The baby?
His heart beating hard against his chest, Barry raked a trembling hand through his hair as he fought the urge to slip into the darkest of thoughts. He resisted by trying to stay positive. She was a fighter. She'll be okay. He reminded himself.
Running his hand through his hair, unable to keep still Barry turned a corner of the hallway bumping into a distraught Iris.
"Sorry." She mumbled her voice almost inaudiable.
"Iris?"
"Barry." She sighed relieved to see her best friend.
"What you doing here?" he asked pulling his friend close, trying to comfort her.
"It's Wally. He... he…" before she could finish her sentence, Wally was wheeled past them unconscious.
"What happened?" his brows pulling together in concern.
Iris looked around before pulling him close as if she were bringing him in on a secret.
"Wally's Kid Flash."
Barry's eyes widened in surprise.
"He… he got in a fight with the Rival. That speedster terrorising the city." She explained.
"We found his identity and Wally went after him… he wasn't fast enough…" Iris choked, covering her face with her hands.
"Barry if anything happens… to Wally or me… you need to know the Rival… his name is Edward Clariss."
"Nothing's going to happen. Wally will be alright." He soothed as he brought his friend into his arms.
Iris pulled away looking up at him as if finding clarity.
"What are you doing here? Where's Caitlin?"
Barry's jaw tightened.
"Wait. Is she in labour?"
Before Barry had a chance to answer her father called out to her from around the corner in need of her support.
Iris looked towards Barry.
"I'm sorry. Dad needs me." She apologised before turning after her father.
"Oh and Barry. Congratulations." She smiled before walking away.
Emotionally drained, Barry finally gave into the tiredness allowing himself to sink down onto one of the most uncomfortable chairs. Barry left his head fall into his hands. With a gentle touch to his shoulder, Barry pulled himself upright. Peering up, a tall and tired man in scrubs stood towering over him. Barry hastily drew to his feet.
"Finally!" He sighed exasperated.
"Where is she? Is she okay? The baby?" he rambled, desperate for information.
The doctor looked at him. His expression was grim, his eyes heavy and dark but as Barry searched his eyes in that beat of a moment, a gut wrenching truth settled deep within his stomach. Barry stumbled back into the chairs behind him. His heart slamming into a shuddering to a stop before it found the strength to restart. The doctor began explaining everything that had happened. But all that Barry could hear was blurred out to silence. Nothing around him seemed to be in focus. How was this happening? Barry felt the four walls around him begin to enclose around him.
"Mr Allen I'm so sorry." He recited as if he had delivered the news numerous times over.
Barry cleared his throat, bringing himself back into a moment of focus.
"Can I see her?" he asked almost inaudibly.
The doctor nodded. Stepping away he led him further down the hallway, stopping upon an open door. The doctor gave Barry a gentle squeeze on the shoulder before leaving him.
Barry hazily watched as the doctor disappeared around the corner. Silence engulfing him once again. Barry inhaled a sharp breath as he tried to regain his composure. He wasn't prepared for this. This wasn't how it was supposed to go. Running a hand over his face, he turned into the room.
The room was dimly lit. In contrast to the clinical environment, the soft glow of light somehow made the room feel a little warm. The room was completely still. A shadow of a figure loomed over his wife, swaying gently from side to side. Barry was frozen where he stood unable to gain the courage to take that first step forward. It wasn't until the subtle sobs of his new born son, gave him a singular focus. It drowned out all the chaos swallowing him in that moment and it gave him a rare second of pure happiness. Barry leapt forward without hesitation. His presence was noticed, the nurse turning to meet him. Barry's heart soared as his eyes caught sight of his son fussing about in her arms.
Without any words, the nurse carefully placed him into his arms. She smiled before leaving. As soon as he held him, his son quieted. Barry cradled the smallest of beings in his arms. He's son with all the purity of unknowing, yawned into a peaceful slumber. Barry smiled a fraction but it vanished quickly as the monitors beside him beeped in a continuous rhythm, bring him back into the tragic truth.
Prying his sights away from his newborn son, he hesitated to look to his wife who lay motionless in front of them. Barry's heart broke. She was here but she wasn't. The machines beside her were the only thing keeping her breathing. He stared at her. Unblinking and unmoving. How could this be happening? Cait. He cried, silently pleading for a miracle. He prayed for her to open her eyes. He needed to her to wake up so he could tell her he loved her just one more time. They should have had more time. Stepping away Barry closed his eyes in pain. He couldn't bear seeing her like this. This shouldn't have been their fate. At his hesitation to be by her side, a stabbing pain vibrated though his chest. And his mind began replaying memories they cherished.
*Placing her hand over his heart, she felt the steady drums of his heart beating under her touch. She wasn't sure how long they had been standing there but she felt the heat and electricity as his eyes bore into hers. Her heart started racing as she felt her need for him grow. Her hand still over his chest, she felt his heart quicken with hers. Clutching onto his shirt Barry reached down placing his lips on hers. Caitlin feeling the warmth of his lips responded immediately allowing him access to explore her mouth. She released her grip from his shirt looping her arms around his neck, drawing him closer and them to deepen their kiss. – Excerpt from 1x03
Lying on his stomach Barry felt the rays of the sun warm his face. Turning his head over he was woken with the perfect image of Caitlin lying peacefully beside him, her lips slightly parted and with every few breathes she would let out a little snort he found amusing and cute. Watching her sleep had become his new favourite past time. – Excerpt from 1x07
Caitlin was taken back by surprise. Barry had never raised his voice at her before. Caitlin stared at Barry for a moment stunned before finding her way to the switch. She placed her hand on the lever gripping onto it before yanking her hand back away.
"Caitlin!"
"I can't."
"We don't have a choice!" he yelled.
"If I turn this on it could kill you" she pleaded with him.
"If you don't… we could all die." He replied his voice more gentle.
"I already lost someone I cared about in this building I can't do it again."
"Caitlin!" he yelled harshly.
"BARRY I CAN'T… GODDAMMIT! Don't you get it?... I LOVE YOU!" she declared. – Excerpt from 1x07
"Dr Caitlin Snow. Will you marry me?"
Caitlin looked back up at him. It was as if the world around them fell away, as she was truly happy.
In that moment she knew she could have looked into his eyes forever, and in that moment she knew just as she had before, that's all she ever wanted. A forever with him.
"Yes." She whispered, tears pooling in her eyes.
Caitlin realized she must have said it so quietly that it took Barry a minute to hear her answer. He looked at her surprised as though he couldn't be sure he heard her correctly.
"What?" he stammered, a big grin pulling at his lips.
"YES!" she repeated loudly as she pulled him and smashed her lips to his. – Excerpt 2x06
"Barry… Before you I had known love. And after everything that happened I thought I'd never find love again. For a long time my heart stopped. Until you. You opened up my heart to more love I never knew was possible. To say we had the most easiest journey would be a massive understatement but it was all worth it, for us to get to where we are today. Every day I grow more and more in love with you. You are my best friend and the love of my life. I promise you that I will be right by your side as your best friend, your rock, your lover, your wife and your soul mate. I promise I will be there for you in life as the person you can lean on so that neither one of us falls. With all my heart I love you Barry. Always."
"Now the rings." Cisco indicated to Joe and Iris. – Excerpt 2x09
Taking another deep breath, she closed her eyes before looking deep into his.
"I'm pregnant." – Excerpt 2x16*
Before Barry could hold onto a single moment, his mind drew into darkness and the silence echoed through him as loud as a freight train. The harder he thought about it the more blank his mind grew.
"What is happening to me?" he stuttered as he stumbled backwards.
Confused, Barry took a glance at his son. He stirred slightly in his arms. Barry took a moment, placing him carefully into his crib beside Caitlin. His jaw tense, Barry tore out of the hospital, his feet moving automatically towards the only person who had the answers.
*Abandoned warehouse*
"And here I was thinking you had forgotten all about me?" Eobard snickered.
Barry's jaw tensed at the sight of him. His pulse quickening under his skin as he thundered towards him, his mouth set in a grim line.
"But I am forgetting. What's happening to me!?" Barry fumed, stalking his way towards Eobard.
"I was wondering when you'd notice." He smiled wickedly.
"It's like I'd be thinking about a moment from my past and then... then it vanishes. I can't get it back. Why?!" Barry demanded angrily.
"Flashpoint." Eobard shrugged a matter of factly.
"It's a side effect. Like I told you before you don't know what you're doing. This new reality you've created is starting to override the reality you and I know. So your original life… your friends, your family… pretty soon all of that will fade away." He trailed off.
Barry shook his head in denial. Nope. Nope. Nope.
"Why isn't it happening to you?"
"Not sure."
Barry snorts in disbelief. Sure he didn't know.
"Unless…" he realized suddenly excited.
"What?" Barry pressed forced.
"What?!" He repeated.
Eobard didn't react instead he burst into a fit of uncontrollable laughter.
"WHAT THE HELL IS SO FUNNY?!"
"YOUR SPEED!" He continued to laugh manically.
"The more you use it the faster you lose your memories." He smirked, enjoying Barry's displeasure.
"No. No you're lying. You just want me to let you out of here. That's not going to happen." Barry shook his head aggressively.
"The you I know from the future… he's not this stupid. Pretty soon you won't even remember that you're the Flash. And when that happens... This world will become permanent. And if you don't remember you're the Flash who's to say you won't forget the life you've created here for yourself…. You wife… your kids… those memories… poof!" He smirked sheepishly.
"Time will set like concrete and nothing will ever be able to change it back to the way it used to be." Eobard explained as his grin grew wider.
"No it's not." Barry whispered bluntly, turning his back on him.
"You know what you have to do. You have to take me back to that night and let me finish what I started." He yelled after Barry.
Barry stopped, spinning on his heels, turning to face his nemesis. "GO TO HELL!"
"YOU"RE TAKING US BOTH THERE! Who's the villain now Flash? Who's the villain now!?"
Barry roamed around the city in a haze. He didn't know what to do. How could this be happening?! Frustrated Barry threw a punch into a brick wall.
Swearing in pain, Barry broke his hand. Yet he welcomed the pain. It made him somewhat numb to the agony of what was left for him to do.
Dragging his feet, Barry made his way back to the hospital, cradling his broken hand by his side. His legs working autonomously forward, Barry paused by the door of her room. She lay there unchanging. Their son lay sleeping beside her. Barry drew closer, his feet growing heavier with every stride.
Barry pulled up a chair next to her and just stared at her. Silently he willed her to wake up. But she never did. Lacing his fingers through hers, he gripped her tightly, holding her hands in his.
"I thought I could make things better. But everyone's been paying for my happiness. But I'll make things right. I'm sorry." He confessed, his voice shaking.
Barry leaned forward pressing his lips to her forehead. "I love you." He whispered his lips lingering against her skin.
As he pulled away, a gentle knock against the door pulled his attention away.
"Mom, dad." Barry breathed surprised.
"Hey slugger." His father greeted in a low voice.
Barry pushed out of the chair, almost racing over to run into the arms of his mother.
"Daddy!" Charlie bellowed from behind his mother.
Barry stifled a cry, pulling out a smile as he scooped his daughter into his arms, hugging her to him tightly.
"Daddy to tight!" she struggled in his arms.
Barry laughed quietly.
"I'm sorry baby." He said placing her back down on her feet.
"When's mommy waking up?" she asked pulling on the sleeve at his shirt.
Barry looked at his parents who were hunched over his newborn son. They must not know. Barry looked down to his daughter, a heavy weight suffocating him.
His mouth dry, Barry opened his mouth yet he was at a loss for words.
"Umm…." He fumbled, his voice betraying him.
"You okay Barry?" his mother pressed, her face drawn with deep concern.
"Um… yeah. It's just good to see you all one more time." He choked.
"What does that mean?" his father asked confused.
"Nothing. Nothing." Barry shook, giving a wary smile.
"I just wanted you guys to know that these last three months have been the best. To be with you. To be your son. " he swallowed hard.
"Barry you're scaring me." His mother shook.
"There's nothing to be scared of. I promise. I just love you both."
"If you say so." She said looking at him, almost unconvinced.
"I love you too." She replied kissing him on the cheek.
Barry smiled, "I see you've met the newest addition to the family."
"Charlie. Do you want to meet your baby brother?" he called as he picked up his daughter.
"Everyone. This is Bartholomew Raymond Snow Allen."
"Bart!" Charlie struggled pronouncing his full name so shortened.
"Ohh he's so adorable. He looks just like you when you were a baby." His mother cooed.
"He's got his mother's eyes though." Barry's voice broke.
*Moments later*
With one last unwilling goodbye, Barry fought the urge to hold onto them a moment longer. Stifling back his tears, he excused himself for a brief moment, his feet peddling forward. Each stride forward heavier with the burden in the decision he knew he had to make. For selfish reasons he had gotten everything he had wanted and needed in his life to be happy. And it was because of those selfish reasons to be whole that the very person who deserved a life ever after had it stolen… by him. Shaking his head he wasn't going to make his children go through the same anguish and pain he had growing up without a mother. So he was going to fix things. He knew what he had to do. His decision was made.
"So you're back to take me up on my offer?" Eobard laughed through the metal bars.
Barry didn't reply. Remaining in his silent rage, he unlocked the cage doors releasing his nemesis.
"You know why I'm here." Barry spat back as he stepped aside.
A large smirk pulled across his face. "Oh I know." He gleamed. "But I want you to say it. Tell me what you want me to do Barry."
Barry's jaw pulled tightly. "I need you to kill my mother." He breathed out, his words cutting deep.
The corner of Eobard's lips pulled his grin wider. Pulling on his mask, he held onto Barry, pushing forward the broke into through the speed force propelling forward through time.
With everything they way it one was, Eobard propelled them once again through time. Dropping him to his knees just moments after he had left before.
"Here we go. Things are back to the way they should be. At least for me anyway, but for you…" he smirked.
"I guess you'll just have to wait and see." He laughed.
"What does that mean?" Barry's brows creased close together.
"See you around Flash." He bid goodbye before flashing away.
Barry waited a moment, making sure he didn't return. As the night remained still, Barry moved, his hand hovering over the handle of the front door. Just as he was about to push it forward, his memories began to return. Thundering his brain, Barry gripped onto the handle tighter as he Flashes of his life came barrelling back.
Breathing heavy, Barry regained his composure. He was back. Pushing the door ajar, Barry saw Joe and Wally huddle over the fireplace, both of them drinking in silence. Barry's heart rose at seeing everything the way it should be. Leaping inside, the men turned around just in time for Barry to wrap his arms around Wally.
"What's this for?" Wally asked confused.
"I'm just glad you're here." Barry huffed out stepping back, taking in the surprised expressions on Joe and Wally's face.
"You okay Bar?" Joe's asked concerned.
"Yeah I am now." Barry smiled genuinely in reply.
"You just lost your father. It's okay to not be okay." Joe reassured him.
His mind drifted back to the past few months. "Actually I feel closer to my parents than I've ever had."
"That's good son." Joe said passing him a bottle of beer.
"To your pops." Wally toasted.
"To Henry." Joe added.
"To dad." Barry whispered, his mind drawing back to the three months he had with his family whole.
I miss you. He whispered internally.
Sinking into the couch, Barry inhaled a much needed swig of his beer although it did nothing to him.
"Where's Caitlin, Cisco and Iris?" he breathed out heavy.
"That's not funny." Joe said flatly.
Barry's mouth dropped open. He looked to Wally who avoided his eyes.
"I'll just chalk this one up to grief. I'll see you both in the morning." He added bluntly, dropping his bottle onto the table before disappearing upstairs.
"What? What was that about?" Barry whispered as he pulled himself off the couch watching as Joe vanished for earshot.
"Are you kidding me? You know Iris isn't here! They don't talk Barry you know that." Wally said aghast.
"What?" Barry shrugged clearly confused.
Wally shook his head.
"So where's Caitlin…?"
"Dr Snow?"
"Yeah." Barry nodded.
"She left ages ago. Probably gone home alone." He shrugged.
"I better get back to her then." He excused as he began gathering his coat.
"Where you going Bar? You still live here. Why you going to visit Caitlin?"
"What?! She's my wi—" Barry paused, his fingers reaching to his hand. Clasping his onto his ring finger, Barry held his hand up to his face.
"What?" Barry mumbled stunned. He and Iris?What?
His eyes widened in realization. He had no ring.
"What have I done?" he whispered out loud.