Remnants of Love

Chapter 1 – The Future is Now

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"What do you do when the person you love forgets?"

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You know that feeling where you're trying to remember something and it's right there on the tip of your tongue but it just won't come to you? It's like seeing something tangible in front of you but every time you try and grab it - it turns into smoke.

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Raven knew something was wrong as soon as she felt more than four other presences in the Tower.

That and the heavy feeling in her head, like whatever she had in there was just too much.

"Rae!"

Too loud.

"Oh my god, Raven!"

Too LOUD.

Raven opened her eyes only to shut them again quickly with a hiss. The lights-

They seemed to dim on command, casting a soft glow around the med bay-

Wait.

The med bay?

"Is that better?" she heard a familiar voice say; choked with an emotion she couldn't read.

Her vision blurred as she struggled to sit up. She felt warm hands on her back-

"Here, let me help you."

Raven grasped at the thin sheets that clung to her legs. She felt too hot. She felt too much. It was sensory overload. The annoying beeping from her heart rate monitor announcing her rhythm to the word, the dulled lights, the stupid sheets touching her bare legs, and the warm, comforting hand-

Raven groaned, clutching her head as images flashed in her mind. It was nothing she could really grasp- just a bunch of colors and voices and feelings-

"Hey, you're okay," the deep voice said, rubbing his –because it was clearly a he and she was starting to understand who- rubbing his hand along her back in what was, she supposed, a comforting gesture.

She ripped the sheets from her legs and tossed them to the ground, just trying to feel less-

"Rae-"

"Stop-" she croaked, squeezing her eyes shut as green filled her vision. "It's too much."

Beast Boy retracted his hand while Raven tried to learn how to breathe.

What was happening? Why did it feel like she was in some new skin? Like she had to learn to live again?

"Gar-"

"I'm here, Rae."

She exhaled slowly, her mind still wheeling as she opened her eyes again. Beast Boy stood close to her- she could feel his body heat against her shoulder. She could see the concern in his eyes-

But why?

Why was he so worried?

"What happened?" she asked, clearing her throat. So dry-

Immediately a glass of water presented itself in front of her, held by a green hand. Raven took it from him slowly, watching him with a curious eye. It was as though he knew what she needed even before she did. She took a careful sip, glancing around the room as she waited for him to speak. There was an uncomfortable looking chair pulled up beside her bed and a few barely touched plates of veggie burgers. Raven glanced back at the green Titan in front of her. Clearly he had been here long enough to skip a few meals. The thought made her stomach flip uncomfortably. But she couldn't tell if it was because she didn't want to see him sacrifice his health for her or because the gesture- the sentiment of just being with her…was endearing.

Beast Boy was surprisingly quiet while she finished her water. She expected him to fill the silence but he just watched her carefully with eyes she couldn't read anymore. His feelings though-

The worry he felt was palpable. But underneath it all was relief. Relief and a steady thrum of affection. She looked away. It was too much. He was too much. And why did he look…different?

"What happened?" she repeated, clearing her throat.

"I don't know," he answered immediately. "When we found you-" he trailed off. "We weren't able to learn much. Most of them left before we got to you. When I finally tracked you down-" His fingers curled into fists. "You were unconscious. You wouldn't wake up no matter how hard I tried. I don't know what they did to you."

Raven frowned. None of that made any sense.

"Who took me?"

She felt Beast Boy's anger wash over her. "Those damn cult people," he said, grinding his teeth as his emotions quickly dissolved into something darker. "I don't understand them. They just don't know when to leave you the hell alone."

Raven's head pulsed and she brought her fingers up to her temple, trying to find some relief. She tried to call on her powers but found them weak-

"You're hurting," Beast Boy said softly and she felt his distress brush over her. For some reason she felt obligated to ease his concerns.

"It's just a headache," she said as a blue glow surrounded her hands, wavering in intensity.

"Don't overdo it," Beast Boy said, stepping close to her again. "You're not one hundred percent yet."

He was right. How the hell was he right? Raven let her hands fall back to her sides, meeting him with an accusatory gaze. He didn't waver for a moment. Her expression softened and she found she couldn't maintain her glare. She was just so confused.

"You're taller," she stated, staring down at his feet before returning her gaze up, taking in his new colored suit.

Beast Boy cocked his head to the side. "Uh, not really?" She felt his confusion make a slow crawl to the surface. Great. At least she wasn't the only one out of it.

Suddenly a thought crossed her mind.

There was no way he would have a growth spurt in the few days she spent healing.

She couldn't have…

She only stopped time once before when her father was trying to destroy the world- did she somehow…

"Raven, talk to me," Beast Boy said, pulling her out of her downward spiral by grasping her hands in his larger ones.

Raven pulled away but found that his touch wasn't…unwelcome.

She felt Beast Boy's emotions wash over her again. Why was he being so open with them? He would usually have at least some barriers up. Mento taught him that much. Raven squeezed her eyes shut in an attempt to hide the desperate look that had appeared on his face. Full of bewilderment and a little bit of…pain.

"Beast Boy…" she sighed.

"Beast Boy?" The absolute perplexity in his voice forced her to meet the scrutiny of his gaze. "Rae, I go by Changeling now, you know that," he said, reaching over to grasp her chin gently.

She let him.

Why did she let him?

She found the steady movement of his thumb against her cheek comforting and felt the pounding pain of her skull slowly ebb away.

"God, I was so scared," he continued, his voice softening. "I should have been there. When you were gone-" He swallowed tightly. "You must have hit your head."

As soon as he pulled his hand back Raven felt cold.

Something was wrong.

This wasn't just a simple headache.

Her mind was chaos and she couldn't get a read on her emotions. And his unexpected feelings just added to the turmoil.

"Beas- Gar," she amended quickly. She took a deep breath, exhaling slowly. One thing at a time. She had to handle one problem at a time. "I can't remember."

"What?"

"I can't remember," she blurted, her fingers tightening around the edge of the bed as she leaned forward, her hair hiding her face. "What happened?"

Her heart rate started to quicken- the beeping from the stupid machine hammering in her ears.

She trembled. It was too much.

Immediately she felt strong arms wrap around her back as she was pulled snugly into Gar's chest.

"It's okay, hey," he said, rubbing his hands along her back. "We'll figure it out, okay?"

"How? I don't even know what's wrong," she said, her voice muffled against him. She felt conflicted. One part of her seemed to say- move. Push away from his embrace. But her body melted into him like it was the most natural thing in the world. "And you're so different," she said, feeling her hands creep up to grasp at the front of his uniform.

"I'm still the same goofball you love, Rae," he said, chuckling. She could feel the vibration from his laughter against her cheek and found it unexpectedly soothing. But his words…

Raven froze.

This time she pulled away.

"How old are you?" Raven scrutinized, eyeing his body suspiciously. He had grown up. Quite a bit.

Beast Bo- Changeling frowned at first but he gathered himself quickly, flexing his arm. "How old do you think I am?"

Raven rolled her eyes and felt herself calm. Okay, this was normal. This was familiar. He was definitely the same. "Mentally or physically?" she drawled.

Changeling snorted. "Oh yeah, you're still Rae."

"Raven," she corrected instinctively, but realized that the nickname didn't bother her.

Changeling's smile seemed to falter at that and he fidgeted nervously. "So, how much do you remember?"

"I'm not sure," she said. "I don't know how much I forgot."

"Well…" He rocked on his heels. "I'm technically twenty four. And since you're basically an old lady compared to me-"

"We're only about a year apart-" she said before his words registered properly. "Wait… you can't be twenty four. You were just seventeen- or eighteen." She clutched at her head. "I don't know anymore."

Silence settled around the two, broken only by the incessant beeping of the machines tracking her health. They stared at each other, both baffled by the way the conversation went.

Gar broke the silence first, his voice low and unsure. "You're telling me you don't remember about six years of our lives?" he whispered, the severity of the situation suddenly dawning on him.

"I don't know, Gar!" she said, feeling her powers pulse around her. This was all confusing enough as it was. She couldn't handle the- the stinging sorrow and disappointment radiating off him as well. She squeezed her eyes, quietly muttering her mantra and lowering everything in the room that was engulfed in dark energy.

They waited together in silence for a few moments as Raven tried to regain her control. Raven could feel his panic grow and she quickly constructed her own barricades to block him out.

"I'll be back," he said abruptly, turning away from her. "Don't go anywhere!"

As soon as the med bay doors slid shut Raven felt her own anxiety rise. She took a few deep breaths and tried to concentrate on the individual feelings that lingered around the Tower. She counted.

One, two…seven.

There were seven other people in the Tower.

But they weren't all familiar and some felt subdued. She didn't even want to try and think about what that meant, choosing instead to quickly retreat back into her own mind.

She tried to think about what Gar was talking about.

A cult? Apparently that wasn't anything new. He certainly didn't seem surprised or happy about it. But why did they want her?

Did the cult do something to her head?

Raven shivered, pulling her legs up to her chest.

Was she compromised? Would she try to harm her teammates?

But also- six years? He- Gar had to be lying. It couldn't have been six years. That's- that's ridiculous.

But she knew he wouldn't lie. Not about that. Even the Beast Boy she knew in the "past" wouldn't play a cruel joke like that.

Raven sighed. It was obvious something had changed between the two. If his words weren't enough then the way he so easily touched her was another obvious clue. She wasn't naïve. The way her body responded to him…

Perhaps the mind recalls (or in her case forgets) certain things and the body remembers the rest. Raven played with the sheets idly, lost in thought. It was like muscle memory. Like riding a bike or going for a swim or flying. You might not remember the mechanics but your body reacts. Her body remembered things she didn't and she wasn't sure how that made her feel. Logically, she thought she should feel ashamed. She wasn't the type of person who…who could be more than a teammate or friend to anyone. She was a half demon who, at one point, was destined to destroy the world. But she found she wasn't ashamed. She wasn't revolted by the idea. She-

Raven heard footsteps approach the med bay doors, only giving her a few scant seconds to pull herself out of her despondent state.

She was surprised to see Robin walk in instead of Garfield. But was he even Robin anymore? "Robin" walked towards her, taller and stronger than ever, now donning black and blue.

"Raven, how are you feeling?" he asked, standing before her.

"Confused," she answered honestly. "Everything's different."

Robin nodded. "I would imagine," he said, looking at her curiously. "You're not physically hurt. But Changeling tells me you can't remember…things."

"Six years he said," Raven recounted. "Robin, how can I forget six years?"

Robin frowned. "He said you might say that," he mumbled. Her face twisted into one of puzzlement. "You called me Robin," he clarified. "I go by Nightwing now."

Raven furrowed her brows. This didn't even come as a surprise to her anymore. "And Starfire? Cyborg?"

Robi-Nightwing smiled. "They're the same."

"Of course you and Gar would be the ones to change so drastically," she grumbled but Nightwing continued to smile. "Uniform and name changes. This will take a little while to adjust."

"Hopefully you'll regain your memories and won't have much to adjust to," Nightwing said, crossing his arms. "Now, I did have a lot I wanted to ask you about the kidnapping but considering-"

"Kidnapping?" she snapped. "I was kidnapped? I thought we just had an encounter with a cult-"

Nightwing opened his mouth only to close it. He looked slightly disgruntled. "Okay, this is going to be harder than I thought."

"Who? Who was it?" Nightwing seemed to hesitate. Raven didn't understand why he was hiding things from her. What good what it do? "Wouldn't telling me things help jog my memory?"

"Perhaps," Nightwing said with a sigh. "You would know better than we would, honestly. All this mind stuff was always your forte. When you're feeling up to it again maybe you could try and do some research-"

"Okay," she agreed readily. "But, please. I want to know who did this."

"Raven, we don't really know," he admitted. "This cult has been threatening you for a while now. For the last three years. Maybe even more if we missed the signs."

"What cult?" she asked.

"A cult of Trigon," Nightwing answered grimly.

Raven was silent. Of course. Of course. Even after she was able to live past the age of sixteen something like this would happen.

"What would they gain from taking my memories?" Raven questioned unhappily.

"We don't know," Nightwing admitted. "But we'll figure it out, okay? I'll let Changeling fill you in with more details about them and what you missed. But for now…Gar and I thought that it would be best to maybe ease you into everything," Nightwing said. "We hope the familiarity of it all will trigger something but I'm leaving the decisions up to Gar. He can choose to answer any questions you have if he thinks it's the right choice. In the meantime I'll be doing all I can to hunt down the cult."

"Gar has a lot of say in my life now doesn't he?" Raven asked, feeling her apprehension rise.

"He does," Nightwing answered carefully, uncrossing his arms.

She felt nervous. She didn't do nervous but this- this was all incomprehensibly new. "Is he…were we in a relationship?"

Nightwing smiled. "You could say that."

"You're being extremely helpful, Nightwing," she muttered. For some reason she found it easier to adjust to his new name than she did to calling Gar, Changeling. And…that bothered her.

"Sorry, Raven. I have to admit, it's going to be Gar at the forefront of all this," he said. "It may come as a surprise to you right now, but he knows you best." Raven sat there and thought about it. Frankly…it didn't surprise her. Even with the gap in her memories. From what she remembered as teenagers- he was always there. "He's going to come see you again soon," Nightwing continued. "He's just checking up on…stuff. And I'm sure the rest of the team will check up on you as soon as they can too," he finished, turning to leave.

Raven spoke just before Nightwing reached the door. "Nightwing? Who else is in the Tower?"

Nightwing glanced back at her. "Why do you ask?"

"I sense three extra people," she said. "Do we have new members?"

Nightwing seemed to hesitate, the corners of his lips lifting just the slightest. "Sort of."

Raven rolled her eyes as the doors slid shut, leaving her alone once more. "So cryptic."

"Right?"

Raven jolted, surprised to see Gar standing at the door with his arms crossed, as if he were there the whole time. "When did you-?"

"Just got here," he said, pushing away from the wall to walk towards her. "Slipped in before the doors slid shut as a fly," he explained.

"How much did you hear?" she asked quickly.

Gar quirked a brow. "Why, did you say something incriminating?" he teased with a grin. When Raven didn't answer he just laughed. "I really did just slip in now," he admitted, appeasing some of her anxiety. "Are you keeping secrets from me, Rae-Rae?" he asked, pouting.

"Am I not allowed to anymore?" she pried cautiously.

Gar smiled. "Heh, about that-" He paused and Raven watched as his left ear twitched. "Ah shit." He quickly rushed over to the exit, looking back for just a brief moment. "I'll be right back!"

The door slid shut behind him but he didn't get far. Raven could feel another presence just beyond the door, converging on Gar.

"Hey, you're not supposed to be here," Raven heard Gar say, his voice muffled through the walls.

But it was the words from a voice she didn't recognize that made her freeze.

"Hi, Daddy, can I see Mama now?"

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