(May 27, 2018)

This is going to be my final entry in here for a while, I think. At least, for this incident anyway. I'm gonna miss you, even though you can't really talk to me. But before I go, I should tell the result of… you know. That. I mean, I couldn't stay locked up in the bathroom forever, and I think people knew I didn't need to go. Considering how right after I finished writing the previous entry, they started banging on the door and telling me to open up.

There was no use trying to lie anymore, so I sucked it up, picked up the Princess Pony book I had left in here, and got ready to face the music. And the teasing. And I know what I'm talking about. I teased Lincoln when we found out he supposedly read it. Even called him girly, I'll admit… the thing that I basically became. All because of my stupid mind deciding it wanted to like a book about pastel, glittery ponies. I know Lucy and Mom and Dad said there was nothing to be ashamed of, but I needed to keep it a secret for a reason, you know?

We went downstairs into the living room, where they sat me down on the couch and bombarded me with questions. Questions like…

"You read Princess Pony?!"

"Wait, so you clogged the toilet that day?"

"Did Lola convince you to be more like her?"

"What happened to the Lana I knew?"

"Are you horsing around?"

"Lisa, did you mess with her mind?"

"Negative. Our paternal units wouldn't allow it."

And other stuff like that. It was pretty overwhelming, which unfortunately ended up pushing me over the edge. I almost ran up to the bathroom again, and I would have if Lynn wasn't there to make sure that wouldn't happen. Trying to escape from her is as hard as it is to stay away from mud when you're me. Impossible.

So I kind of froze in place, desperately trying not to cry, or scream, or lash out, or do anything else. The book that started this whole thing was tightly clutched to my chest, hoping it would help calm me down. That didn't work. Instead, I ended up sobbing a bit, gaining even more attention from my family, if that was even possible.

"Lana, are you okay?" Someone asked, but I can't remember exactly who.

"I-I like it, okay?" I broke down a bit, and grabbed a pillow to bawl my eyes out into, hiding my head in shame. "I get it, my street cred as a tomboy is forever destroyed. Y-you don't have to rub it in." I felt pathetic.

They were all silent for a short while. I felt a hand touching me. When I took a quick glance out of the pillow, I saw Lori was ahead of everyone, yet everyone had some sort of concerned expression on their faces.

"It's okay, Lana." Lori said.

I lifted my head from the pillow to face her. "But I…"

"Lana, it's literally fine." She said. "Sometimes, we find things we like that at first don't seem like we would."

"Yeah, I actually like some drama even though I'm the comedian." Luan said. Huh, I was wondering who was watching those movies late at night before, while I was writing these entries and reading Princess Pony.

Then Lynn sat next to me and said, "Look, I know it's not exactly the same, but I used to wear dresses as a little kid. I even have some of the pictures in the family photo album. What I mean is, you're not alone."

"R-really?" I asked. Hey, I know it's my family, but I can never be too sure. Not with something like this.

"We're positive."

I also noticed Lucy and Lincoln walking in. I'm guessing the commotion caught their attention. They weren't with the rest for whatever reason, but by the expression on their faces, they reached the same conclusion as mine: my sisters didn't mind my interest in the book.

Normally, I would say something like "or at least they made it seem that way" but, I think this time they were actually telling the truth. Honestly, I'm just glad I no longer have to live in fear of having my secret exposed, or being made fun of for it, or anything else like that.

I put the pillow down and sighed in relief. I've been doing a lotta sighing this past week, haven't I? Almost as much as Lucy, I'd say. One more thing to add in common between us, liking the same book and sighing. Of course, the others didn't see or hear me sighing, and they don't know about Lucy, so we're still two very different people for the most part.

"Why didn't you tell us earlier, if it was making you feel so bad?"

"Because I didn't wanna get made fun of! You know what happened when Lincoln took the fall-" I managed to stop myself short before I revealed anything else about that. I saw Lucy and Lincoln got surprised for a second. Well, I saw Lincoln surprised. Lucy was just… with her usual neutral expression.

"Don't worry about that. We'll mostly make fun of your other hobbies"

I should have known I wouldn't be free from being picked on. Yet again, we're family, and being part of a family is mocking them because of their personality and favorite activities. Of course I've done it too, it only makes sense to be on the receiving end of it as well from time to time. Everyone seemed glad to see everything was fine, though I think I saw Lincoln a bit annoyed that he was picked on a lot for supposedly reading the book. Guess I got lucky this time. I still totally owe him one, by the way. I'll get on that later, though.

"T-thanks guys," I couldn't help but say it. "I-I really mean it." I let one last tear escape my eye before wiping it and the others that were shed away.

Just then, the door opened and we all looked to see who it was. There Lola was, standing in the doorway and looking confused.

"Uh, guys, what's going on here?"

Despite everything I had already admitted, I still hadn't told my other sisters about the "deal" Lola forced me into. One thing I was sure, I'd be her servant no more. That is, until she finds something else to blackmail me with, but that will take some time. Plus, I still have what Lucy gave me some time ago, so that should help me next time I get in a pickle like this.

"You don't have to tell them, I already told them everything." I explained. "Except for the blackmailing part."

As I expected, I was met with a "Wait, WHAT?!" from everyone. Other than Lucy, Lincoln, mom and dad, of course. Okay, maybe I went a bit too far. I mean, it's twelve against one.

"Explain yourself, now." Lori demanded to my twin while shooting her a death glare. And let me tell you, I'm really glad I wasn't on the receiving end of that glare. It was enough to send her running upstairs to our room without a word, and I really don't blame her. By the time I heard the door slam shut, I was already running up after her.

"What are we going to do now?" I asked. I mean, sure, I was made a "slave" by my own sister, but that didn't mean I wanted her to suffer. A lot. I still wanted her to suffer just a little bit. She did make me let her ride me like a pony… but still.

"Well, she can't stay inside forever."

I decided to take action. I knocked on the door, and walked in anyway when I got no answer. I was actually quite surprised to see she didn't lock the door. "Lola… are you okay?" I asked.

She was sitting on her bed, turned towards the back wall with her head hung low. She didn't respond.

"Lola?"

When she turned around, I could tell she had been crying a bit, since her makeup was running down her face. The thick, black kind near the eyes. I forgot what it was called, though. Not that I really needed, or wanted to know, anyways.

"What?" she whimpered. Yes, whimpered. Like a dog. Truth be told… it made my heart ache. I'm not the devil, like… okay, my sister isn't the devil either. She's mean sometimes, but it's not like I'm not annoying to her every once in a while too. We're sisters, but we're not gonna get along all the time. Obviously, and especially due to our almost polar opposite personalities. We do have some things in common, though.

Back on topic, though. I went over to her and asked again if she was alright, even though I could tell she wasn't.

"No, I'm not. Can't you see it?!" she snapped.

"Whoa, whoa! I was just asking!" I was expecting that response. "Stupid question, I know, but what's wrong?"

"Well, everyone is after me now, and they have a good reason to be mad at me!" she answered. "Why would you tell everyone?"

I had to stop for a minute at that one. "I was surprised that you hadn't told everyone first. Wasn't that what you were gonna do if I didn't do all that stuff?"

Seriously, she was holding it over my head for over a week with the threat of telling everyone, yet I wasn't allowed to do it myself?

"I didn't think you'd say it. And you gave me no reason to tell anybody. Weren't you afraid of everyone knowing?"

"At first, yeah… but then, I started talking to Lincoln and…" I wondered if I should mention Lucy. I decided against it as to not accidentally rat her out. I decided to share my secret. She didn't. "He understood, so I eventually gained the courage to tell Mom and Dad. I didn't plan on telling everyone else, though. They heard me."

"Of course…" Lola said. "They just had to hear you. I thought you'd just get rid of the book eventually. I mean, you couldn't like it that much." she said.

"But I do." I asserted. Wasn't it obvious? "I know it's not something that… other people like me, like Lynn or someone would normally like, but hey, I never was normal, was I?" Normal compared to her, anyway. "I hear that all the time, but you know what? I'm proud of who I am. A tomboy that reads Princess Pony in her spare time. There, I said it!"

Lola faced me with a weird expression. "That… sounds weird." she said. And even I admit that she was right with that. "I never thought it was something you liked that much. I believed you'd just forget about it or something, not tell Mom and Dad."

Now it was my turn to give her a weird expression. "Yeah, I'm weird, and what I just said was weird, and I'm fine with it." I also didn't quite understand her fixation with beauty and glitter and tea, and all those princessy, girly things. "And I was going crazy by the end of the week, so I doubt I'd be able to last a whole month." Hey, it was the truth, and that's what today's all about, right?

"I see…" Lola faced downwards a bit. "I'm sorry." I think she said quietly. I wasn't sure if I heard her correctly, but it was surprising nonetheless.

"Huh? What was that?" I wondered for a second if I had gone deaf from the loudness of the house, though I would then find that I hadn't.

"I-I'm sorry, okay?" Lola said louder. "I didn't know it was so important to you, and neither that you were suffering from it."

"I mean, I was doing all that stuff for you for a reason, y'know? Maybe I'm just too thin-skinned… can't even take a little bit of teasing." Or, ya know, a reputation that took 6 years to build being ruined in 6 seconds. That being said, maybe I shouldn't have hid as long as I did.

"Well, yeah, but I mean… I don't know, I think I just believed you were joking with the fact you liked the book or something… and even if you like it, I couldn't imagine it would be that much…"

"If I was joking, what would be the point of keeping it a secret?"

"I-I don't know, Lana!" she shouted. "Like, it was just a joke, but I could say it wasn't, people would believe it."

"Because it really wasn't a joke!" I shouted back. An awkward silence ensued, and I noticed that Lola seemed to have been taken aback by my little outburst. I decided to backtrack a bit and try to calm down. "I didn't mean to shout like that, I've just been under a lot of stress over a short book about ponies and it must have gotten to my head."

"No, Lana. After all of this… you have more than the right to. I never thought you'd be suffering so much. I know I enjoyed the time we were together, but I'm sure you didn't. I'm sorry, Lana."

Seeing my twin sister so sad, and hearing her sound so regretful tugged at my heart. I could see the remorse in her eyes and face, and it made me tear up for what felt like the third time today. I knew hers weren't crocodile tears either. I don't know a lot about tears, but I know about reptiles. So, I decided it would be best to try and comfort her. The sooner we can put that whole week of… heck behind us, the better.

I will admit that it wasn't all bad, though. Not many people know this, actually only I do, and I guess now you too, but a small part of me does enjoy the tea parties Lola has me join in. Only to spend time with her, of course.

"It's okay. I forgive you." I said softly, and walked over and wrapped my arm around her.

"How can you? This is not something small!"

"I know, but you're also my sister, and I can see why you wouldn't expect me of all people to like that." I never was someone who held grudges too long. "Besides, I'm sure it'll be behind us soon." I wasn't 100% sure, of course, but, you know…

"Yo-you really forgive me? Thanks… and again, I'm sorry for what I did…"

"Yeah, I forgive you. Just maybe lay off the blackmailing a bit, alright?" I pulled her into a hug to show that I meant it. And she returned the hug. As for the blackmail… yeah, yeah, I know I said I've done it at least once before, but everyone in this house has. And only for revenge, and… okay, maybe I should stop trying to justify that.

But, that's a whole 'nother can of delicious worms that I'll save for next time. I could've sworn I noticed my other siblings near the doorway going "Awww!" and listening in on our conversation again. I didn't really care, though.

Anyway, I found out that there's more than one Princess Pony book, it's actually a series! Mom and I are going to the bookstore to get the second book, which is entirely in Prince Sparklehoof's perspective. Sounds like it'd be a good read. So, I gotta go now, and I don't know when or if I'll write in here again. I guess I'll see you on the other side. Wait, can diaries actually… and there it is again, it's a journal! Can journals… ehh, whatever. I'll see you again, let's leave it like this.

Until next time!

-Lana Loud