A/N: I've been playing with the idea of this for a long time. This story will be a series of Lemon filled one shots. Please don't read if this offends you. It's rated M for a reason.

Each chapter title will be inspired by a different song. Please let me know what you think and whether or not you feel I should continue.

*DISCLAIMER: this chapter is the fleshed out version of what happened at the hotel in chapter 29 of Last Sacrifice, naturally a lot of the dialog comes directly from there.*

Enjoy!

Fingertips: OneRepublic

I watched as Rose crossed the room, resting her head against the glass of the window. My head was spinning at her accusations and in frustration. We'd been running towards I don't know what. And now she stood before me, doubting herself in ways she didn't deserve.

She'd certainly caused death before, but never to a Moroi; never to a Moroi she'd known so closely. Sure I had, that was one of the things I would never be able to cleanse myself of. One of the many sins I'd let the monster inside me commit. I knew how harsh I'd been, beating myself up day in and day out. Rose didn't deserve that though, I couldn't allow her to put herself through the same.

It wasn't her who killed Victor. I mean yeah, physically it was her, but she was under the thick smog of spirit's darkness. It wasn't her, it couldn't be her, never her fault.

She let out a deep sigh. "If I let this stop me, if I do nothing… then that's the greater evil. I'll do more good by surviving. By continuing to fight and protect others."

It sounded like she was easing up on herself, and dare I hope, forgiving herself in a way I still couldn't.

"What are you saying?" I asked in clarification.

"I'm saying… I forgive myself. That doesn't make everything perfect, but it's a start."

I watched as her fingertip traced a barely there crack on the otherwise smooth glass of the window.

"Who knows?" she continued, "Maybe that outburst in the parking lot let out some of the darkness Sonya says is in my aura. Skeptic that I am, I have to give her some points. She was right that I was at a breaking point, that all I needed was a spark."

I felt a twinge inside my chest, watching as this beautiful woman I had hurt so badly poured her heart out to me. Maybe it was time I finally did the same.

I paused, feeling my voice thicken with emotion. She still had her back towards me, but I took a step forward, desperate to close the chasm between us, both physically and emotionally.

"She was right about something else too," I braced myself, waiting for her reaction. I didn't even know if she'd accept me and my confessions now, but I had to at least try.

She turned around slowly, her face soft, "What's that?" she asked.

"That I do still love you."

My heart pounded in my chest as I wated for her response. I'd convinced myself that I would accept whatever she threw my way.

I stared deep into her eyes. It felt like time was at a standstill. I sent up a silent prayer for any type of reaction from her.

I watched the wheels turning behind her eyes. She blinked in confusion a few times. "Since… since when?"

How could this incredibly smart, incredibly stubborn beauty in front of me even ask that question?

I'd abused her, played with her, lied to her, broken her, tried to kill her, and through it all she had still confessed her love for me.

Those four words meant nothing to me. Love fades, mine has. I was an idiot. It was a desperate attempt to try to get her to move on. I never in my wildest dreams thought she'd believe me. I thought she'd see right through the lie like every other one I'd ever tried to tell her. But I could tell in this moment that it had stuck.

How could she have ever believed that I could just stop loving her?

"Since… forever." I finally answered, as if it were the most obvious thing I'd ever confessed. "I denied it when I was restored. I had no room for anything in my heart except guilt. I especially felt guilty about you—what I'd done—and I pushed you away. I put up a wall to keep you safe. It worked for a while—until my heart finally started accepting the other emotions. And it all came back. Everything I felt for you. It had never left; it was just hidden from me until I was ready. And again… that alley was the turning point. I looked at you… saw your goodness, your hope, and your faith. Those are what make you beautiful. So, so beautiful."

"So it wasn't my hair," she tried to deflect with humor. Her go to coping mechanism.

"No," I answered gently. "Your hair was beautiful too. All of you. You were amazing when we first met, and somehow, inexplicably, you've come even farther. You've always been pure, raw energy, and now you control it. You're the most amazing woman I've ever met, and I'm glad to have had that love for you in my life. I regret losing it." I dropped my head slightly, growing pensive. "I would give anything—anything—in the world to go back and change history. To run into your arms after Lissa brought me back. To have a life with you. It's too late, of course, but I've accepted it." I felt both heavier and lighter at my confession.

Her eyes met mine, "Why… why is it too late?"

My mask was completely gone; I knew she could see the sadness behind my expression.

"Because of Adrian. Because you moved on," I could see the protest forming on her lips and promptly cut her off, "No, listen. You were right to do that after how I treated you. And more than anything else, I want you to be happy once we clear your name and get Jill recognized. You said it yourself that Adrian makes you happy. You said you love him."

I dropped my head in defeat. I meant absolutely every word, but it didn't mean it didn't hurt me to say them.

"But… You just said you love me. That you want to be with me."

I nodded solemnly, "And I told you: I'm not going to pursue another man's girlfriend. You want to talk honor? There it is in its purest form."

She stepped towards me slowly. I could feel the tension between us growing with each inch she grew closer. She gently placed her palms on my chest, my heart increased its pace at her proximity. I felt her warmth spread through me wherever her fingertips met my body.

In a desperate attempt to keep my word, I grabbed hold of her wrists but I couldn't bring myself to push her away like I had so many times before. I was in a battle with myself. But in those deep, beautiful brown eyes, I could see her love for me coming to the surface. My battle was futile. I knew I would do absolutely anything for the wonder standing before me. I wanted her…bad.

My pupils dilated with desire as I took in her form. The tan of her skin, the sweat beading on her brow, her dark hair surrounding her like a veil. I wanted her to be mine. Every single inch of her in a way I knew only I had had her before. But I lost it, I lost that opportunity. I couldn't allow myself to betray yet another person.

"You should have told me. You should have told me this a long time ago. I love you," my breath caught hearing her say the words I'd never thought I'd ever hear her say to me again. "I've never stopped loving you. You have to know that."

My internal battle progressed into an all-out war. I couldn't betray Adrian too. I couldn't live with myself for hurting him too. It wasn't fair.

"It wouldn't have made any difference. Not with Adrian involved." My fingers tightened around her wrists. I tried, but I still couldn't bring myself to push her away. "I mean it. I won't be that guy, Rose. I won't be that man who takes someone else's woman. Now, please. Let go. Don't make this more difficult."

I prayed that she'd be stronger than I was. That she could let go and move on. Because I knew if she asked, I wouldn't deny her pleasure, I couldn't despite my honorable intentions.

But she ignored me, spreading her fingers wider. I could feel the fire igniting within me everywhere our skin met.

"I don't belong to him," she murmured, pressing herself closer to my body. Rose tilted her head back, now facing me completely. She fit against me like a puzzle. I couldn't deny it. I felt my arousal growing, and in her close proximity, I'm sure she could feel it too. "I don't belong to anyone. I make my own choices."

"And you're with Adrian," I said in a last ditch effort.

"But I was meant for you," she purred into my ear.

Any ounce of self-control I had vanished in that instant. All my cares, guilt, insecurities melted away in that moment.

Rose reached up, pulling my face down to meet hers in a kiss we both needed so desperately. Our lips met, tongues danced in their old familiar way.

I slid my palms down her curves, encircling her in my arms when I reached her waist. I lifted her off the ground easily, walking us back towards the king sized bed in the center of the room.

I let everything go… everything that had so stupidly held me back and away from this perfect creature in my arms.

I laid her back gently, acknowledging the consent in her eyes. The same look I got from her in the cabin so long ago.

My fingertips traced the curve of her hip and down her perfectly smooth bare leg.

Her dress was already torn from battle, so I didn't feel bad when our rushed, needy contact made the fabric rip further up her leg, stopping just enough to cover her modesty.

I needed her, more than I needed the air around us to breathe. She was a drug for my soul that I'd gladly remain addicted to for the rest of my life.

I took the torn fabric into my hands, kissing along her skin every inch the dress now uncovered.

I tossed it aside, staring down at the beauty in front of me. The globes of her breasts bare for me. Heaving up and down with her pants of breath. Their dusky perks tightened to a bead in the center.

I took each swell into my hands, turning my attention to kiss and nip at the skin of each. I knew what I was doing would leave a mark, but I couldn't bring myself to care. We needed this. Both of us needed this contact so badly.

She moaned, arching her back off the bed and pressing her chest further into my face when I bit down on each nipple in turn.

A low growl of satisfaction escaped my lips when she slipped her deft fingers under my shirt, quickly ridding it from my body.

I felt her hands working at the button of my jeans and helped her quickly along, effectively freeing me from the confines of the coarse denim and the unforgiving metal of the zipper.

Her hand gripped tight around my hardened member, I let out a low hiss of satisfaction as she squeezed gently and began to pump her fist up and down my shaft.

"I'm not going to last long if you keep this up, Roza." I whispered gruffly into her ear.

A small smile of satisfaction was the only response I got from her before she took her bottom lip between her teeth.

I pulled back suddenly, watching the shock in her eyes turn into an expression of pleasure in an instant as I kissed my way down her body. Licking and nipping at the smooth skin until I reached the lacy material covering her sex.

She lifted her hips off the bed, pressing closer to my face when I hooked my fingers under the fabric at her hips and slid them slowly off of her body.

I leaned back down, wrapping each of her legs around one of my shoulders as I let my tongue snake out, licking my way up her slit to the tiny button of pleasure I knew was waiting for my attention at the top.

I circled it like the sweetest lollipop I ever got my hands on, waiting until I felt her relax into my touch before I slowly slid one finger inside of her to test her readiness.

She was just as warm and smooth as I remembered; she let out another breath of satisfaction when I slid another finger in, curling up towards her belly button from the inside.

She was already so wet, and waiting for me.

I pumped my fingers in and out, feeling her hips meet my every thrust as she begged for more.

I could feel the beginnings of her orgasm building, when I stilled my hand. Bringing my body up to kiss her once more. I needed her to taste how sweet she was on my tongue.

I grabbed the outside of her calf, bringing it up to rest on the outside of my hip as I slid into her warmth in one quick motion.

She mewled into my ear, letting each sound of pleasure that escaped her lips surround us like a melody.

Her hips met mine, working into a rhythm that brought us both so much closer.

I could feel her walls tightening around me at the same time I knew I was so close.

I called out her name in prayer. It had been so long, finally being able to bring our bodies together felt like home. It was more than just lust, this was love. I knew without a doubt that I would do anything my Roza asked of me, starting with never letting her go again.

I pressed my thumb into her tiny bundle of nerves and felt her shatter around me. My own release coming only second later as I felt myself empty inside of her.

When we finished, I couldn't bring myself to let go of her.

Our second time together had somehow been infinitely better than the first, and I couldn't help but question how perfection could get any better.

I slid out of her slowly, but couldn't get close enough. We tangled ourselves into a mess of limbs, not able to bear being separated for a second longer than we had to.

I watched her face as she closed her eyes, and sighed dreamily. "I'm glad you gave in. I'm glad your self-control isn't as strong as mine."

I couldn't help the rumble of laughter that escaped me. "Roza, my self-control is ten times stronger than yours."

She shifted up, brushing my hair back that had fell into my face, and rewarded me with a broad smile. My heart could burst under her gaze.

"Oh yeah? That's not the impression I just got," she teased.

"Wait until next time," I warned. "I'll do things that'll make you lose control within seconds."