Welcome to my Lupin/Tonks series. Chapters will be in no particular order and set in the canon universe. I hope you enjoy. First up, here's a moment set a couple of weeks after Teddy's birth in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.

Wolf Boy

"Dora?"

"Yeah?"

She's lying across his lap, allegedly reading Catalonian Defensive Duelling Jinxes Volume 12, although in truth she hasn't turned a page for ten minutes. Mum's taken Teddy out in the pushchair to give them some time to themselves, and it says a lot about the world at present, Tonks reckons, that she's spending that time trying to stay awake while swotting up on close-contact duelling techniques.

Her husband doesn't answer so she glances up at him. He's staring straight ahead, jaw tensed and an uncomfortable expression on his face.

"What is it?"

Remus jiggles his knee uncomfortably and Tonks sits up, feeling more concerned. He's been fantastic since Teddy was born- he's tonnes more patient with their baby than she is, he always gets up with her when Teddy needs feeding in the night, and he's loads better at nappies. Remus talks to their son all the time, giving him a running commentary on whatever's happening. He loves drawing him, him and her, the three of them together. Remus was this elated for the first few days after they were married, but, Tonks remembers, there was an uncomfortable intensity to that joy. Remus was excited to the extent that she kicked herself for not anticipating the comedown which followed a few days later. Now he's happy but he's calm too. Content.

When her husband speaks his voice is even. "I've got a vial of Wolfsbane hidden under the sink,"

The mention of the werewolf catches Tonks by surprise. Truth be told, she'd forgotten about all that. This month has been the first in almost two years where she hasn't felt the full moon looming. She's so perturbed by this omission that it takes her a few moments to process what Remus has actually said.

"Oh. Okay," she mumbles.

"I've been saving it to use for Teddy's first full moon,"

Oh God, no. "Remus-"

"I know, I know. But he might be,"

He won't be. Tonks and her husband have researched for months, and not found a single record of lycanthropy being inherited from a parent. Simple biology of acquired traits, but Remus, who usually likes to rely on facts and evidence, remains unconvinced. His scepticism frustrated Tonks at first, but now anger's faded into pity. He's terrified, and that hurts her even more because in every other respect Remus loves being a dad. She'd hoped that fatherhood had finally put his fearful hopelessness behind him.

"I want to be in my own mind when he changes in case you need help," Remus continues.

"If he changes" she insists. He won't change.

"If he changes," Remus agrees. He's speaking in the detached tone he uses when he's nervous, and it's obvious that he's been rehearsing what to say.

"So what are you going to do?" Tonks asks, allowing him to follow his script.

"I'm going to show you what happens and how to restrain him. You can use my muzzle and mits. I'll be in another room and if anything looks like it's going to go wrong you can fetch me and I'll be able to-" Remus pauses, then says, "Control him,"

In their research about inherited lycanthropy, Tonks had come across information about how to confine a baby werewolf. It's important to force the baby down during their transformation, to be able to muzzle the wolf as soon as possible. She couldn't do that. Couldn't shove Teddy's sweet little face into the mattress while he mutates under her hands. Tonks has never seen a transformation take place but from what she's read, and the little Remus has told her, it's disorientating and humiliating and unbearably painful. Their beautiful son...

And then there'll be all night with Teddy howling and gnashing and clawing. He'll be so frightened. And what if she can't restrain him? What's Remus going to do- growl at their son until Teddy's backed into a corner, whimpering? Bat him with his claws? Grab Teddy in his mouth and shake him? Remus couldn't do that. He wouldn't do that. He won't have to do that, Tonks tells herself firmly, because Teddy will not be a werewolf.

"Okay," she whispers, hoping that her husband can't hear the tremble in her voice.


He's been taking the potion for the last few days. He's set the alarm clock to go off two minutes before the moonrise, so Tonks knows exactly when it's going to happen. He's explained about what a transformation looks like, how big Teddy will get, how he'll move, and how to hold him down when it happens. He's demonstrated the spells Dad used to contain him during his childhood transformations. Remus had hoped that, being an Auror, Dora would cope with the roughness of it all, but she'd got upset, and all he could do was hold her and tell her how sorry he was that it had come to this. He's written everything down in case she forgets or panics. He's given her the muzzle he used to use when transforming at Grimmauld Place. Sirius was on full moon duty back then, and although Remus usually doesn't like anybody fussing or even seeing him during his transformations, it was always different with Padfoot. Moreover, it gave Sirius a purpose. Sirius got good at tying on Remus' muzzle and the mittens he wore over his claws. And when Padfoot turned into the dog and they curled up together on the cold cellar floor, it had been almost like old times.

When they were together two years ago, Remus hadn't wanted Tonks to see him transformed. As time went on, however, it became an inevitability. He'd fallen for her so hard, and was telling her things he couldn't say to anybody else, and she was so kind to him, that he found himself agreeing to it. It was best, he told himself, to get this out of the way, so if she was horrified she could end things with him before it got too serious. Remus had seen a flicker of that revulsion on the night of the full moon, when Tonks trotted down the stairs into the cellar behind Sirius. A flash of terror in her eyes when she saw him in his werewolf body. And then she'd said, "Wotcher, Remus," and clutched onto Sirius' arm with one hand, while the other hand reached out to stroke his neck. Remus hadn't known what to do and had stood there dumbly, on his four legs, while she patted his fur. Dora and Sirius had come closer, until her arms were around Remus' neck, cuddling him. It was so strange and so glorious and what had he done to deserve someone like this? A week later Sirius was dead, and a fortnight after that Remus split up with her and broke her heart and didn't see her again for a year.

Usually Wolfsbane makes the full moon week easier; Remus worries less so he sleeps better so he isn't as tired so he worries less. The back-ache and clamminess are normally still there, but not as debilitating as when he isn't on the potion. But after nearly a year of not taking Wolfsbane (unsurprisingly, it's impossible to come by these days), this month Remus feels as bad as he can remember about the impending full moon.

He likes to stay up with Tonks when Teddy needs feeding in the night, holding his wife while she holds their baby. He changes Teddy's nappy afterwards, puts him back in his cot and kisses him goodnight and pleads with him not to wake again until the morning. However, last night when Teddy woke up and Remus tried to fetch him, Remus' bones protested loudly at the movement. Tonks told him that she'd be fine on her own and he should go back to sleep, but Teddy wasn't fine- he'd yowled and wailed. It was so loud, and Remus' hearing gets sensitive around the full moon, so the bawling sounded even worse. He had to shove a pillow over his head to try to drown the noise out. Remus was sure that Teddy was crying so much because he was hurting too, because it the moon was affecting him in the same way, because tonight he's going to transform into a werewolf. Remus couldn't even get out of bed to comfort him, despite it being all his fault that his son was in such pain. It took Dora nearly an hour to calm the baby down, and even after that Remus couldn't get back to sleep.

Now, he sits down beside the cot, lifts up the bars and reaches in. His son's awake now too, but he isn't crying. He's staring at Remus with his dark eyes. They're Andromeda's eyes, which certainly isn't helpful. Remus is far too used to being on the receiving end of a glare from those eyes.

He puts his head down on the mattress beside Teddy's, and rests his palm on his son's back.

"Hello, Teddy," he murmurs, "You and I need to have a chat,"

It occurs to Remus then that he doesn't know what to say, and that this is silly because of course Teddy doesn't understand him. It's alright chattering to the baby when he's giving him a bath or strapping him in the pushchair, but this is different. Remus swallows.

"Something is going to happen tonight and it might be bad. You won't know what's happening, and it'll be very scary and very painful. I didn't want this for you, and it isn't because of anything you did. You're a good boy. You didn't deserve this. This is my fault. All my fault, and I'm sorry, Teddy. I am so, so sorry".

His son's dark eyes stare back at him.


She stands over the coat. The alarm clock went off a few moments ago, which means the moon's about to rise. Tonks thinks of Remus, who's in the living room, on the other side of the wall. He seldom about transforming, and if he does it's usually the factual side. But once, late at night a few months ago, he mumbled to Tonks that the waiting is the worse part. That after all these years it still terrifies him. At least if Teddy is a werewolf (he won't be, he can't be, he won't be), Remus can be there to comfort him when they both change. Whatever Remus has or hasn't passed down to Teddy, Tonks reckons, their son is a lucky boy to have Remus Lupin as his father.

Teddy himself is asleep now, breathing steadily and peacefully. Babies are supposed to sleep face-up, but if he transforms it'll be easier to squash him down if he's already on his front. Teddy hadn't protested about the change in position when they'd put him to bed earlier- Tonks reckons he was so exhausted from being up all night the night before that he'd sleep any way around. She runs through the instructions again in her mind, and the Mad-Eye Moody voice embedded in her brain growls at her to keep a clear head. Don't get distracted, don't get emotional. There's a job to do. But that's easier said than done when the job involves her own baby.

"Please don't be, Teddy," she mumbles, "I know you won't be. Please don't be,"

Please.


The moon peeps through the clouds, then sneaks out into full view. It's glowing silver. Teddy Lupin wriggles in his sleep.


Body contorting. Bones ripping through his skin. Pain pain pain pain pain. Make it stop make it stop. Dad, make it stop. Pain pain pain pain. Face stretching. Spine twisting. Help me. Pain pain pain. Make it stop. Dad. Help. Pain. Stop.

Wolf.


There's a thump and a scuffle and a noise between a whimper and a howl. Oh, Remus, Remus, Remus, she thinks, but keeps her eyes on Teddy. Teddy. Teddy, who looks the same as he always does. Teddy, who is asleep. Teddy, who is still. He hasn't changed. Tonks feels a gasp yanked out of her body. Oh, thank Merlin. Thank God. Thank luck or biology or whatever it is that's spared them that. That has given them this. Then Mad-Eye's voice barks at her to stay alert, don't jump the gun. Tonks fixes her eyes on Teddy's body and counts to ten. No change. Counts to twenty, thirty, forty, and she's counting faster now because this is going through the motions, this is unnecessary because if Teddy was going to transform he would have done by now. She can see the full moon through the window out of the corner of her eye, and she can see her tiny son sleeping soundly. Tonks kneels down beside the cot, slips her hand between the bars to touch Teddy's, and feels his fingers grasp hers.

"Well done, Teddy. Good boy. Well done,"

Tonks doesn't know what else to say to him. She jumps to her feet, runs out of the bedroom and through the hall to tell her husband. She's so thrilled that she forgets that Remus is transformed until she knocks on the living room door, calling his name, and receives two barks- yes- in reply. She's only seen him transformed once before. It had gone okay, but it was frightening and strange and desperately upsetting. Tonks steels herself, and opens the door. The wolf is at the back of the room by the window, as far away from her as it can get. It- he- is huge. Merlin's beard, she's forgotten how gigantic and imposing he is. Yellow eyes and drooping jowls and teeth so long they stick out on either side. Claws the size of her fingers and matted hair hanging off four sinewy legs. Her flinch is instinctive. The wolf stares at her- expectant, ready.

"He didn't change," Tonks breathes, a tear dribbling from her eye, "Remus, he didn't change. He's still himself, he's not a werewolf,"

The words drop around them both. Nobody moves. Silence.

"Did you understand? He didn't change,"

The wolf barks twice, quietly, and slowly sits back on his hind legs. He puts his front paws and head on the floor. Tonks can't tell what he's thinking. She moves to come over and hug him, but the wolf leaps to his feet and edges backwards, glaring and staring at her left hand. The muzzle, she remembers- he won't go near anybody unless he's wearing it.

"Okay," she says, and the wolf stares at her intently as he lets her slowly move behind him and tie it over his nose and mouth from the back. Tonks tries to do it gently, but the straps have to be yanked and tied hard.

"Good now?" she asks. His jaw's clamped shut so he can't bark, but he snorts twice in affirmation.

"Teddy hasn't changed. He isn't a werewolf," Tonks whispers. She burrows her face into the ragged fur on the wolf's neck. Her words seem to sink in for Remus now, because he nods, and Tonks can hear his wagging tail thwacking the curtain, and he's snorting in pairs- Yes, yes, yes! She peels her face away and beams. Remus scurries a victory lap around the room.

"Do you want me to bring him to you? Do you want to see?"

Remus stops abruptly and the yellow eyes glare again. His single No snort is so hard it's almost a growl.

"Alright, I won't then. But you believe m-"

On cue, Teddy starts to cry in the next room.

Remus freezes again and Tonks beams. "There he is. He wants to prove to you that he hasn't changed,"

Remus wriggles, and nods vigorously.

"He's probably moaning about sleeping on his front or something. I'd better see to him,"

Yes.

Tonks reaches out to rub Remus' fur with both hands, then hurries back to their crying, perfect, human son.


Dawn rising. Slamming back into his own body. Limbs shortening. Face squashing. Pail pain pain pain pain. Cracking. Fur receding. Pain pain pain.

Man. Sprawled on the floor. Early morning light. He waves a hand in front of his face. It's his own hand, not a paw, and then he's on his feet. Lurching towards the door, staggering through the hall into the bedroom. Teddy Teddy Teddy Teddy. On the floor again- he can't stand- crawling to the cot. Shoves the bars up and draws his son into his arms. Teddy Teddy Teddy. His son, not a wolf, not a werewolf. All boy, the most incredible boy and Remus is squeezing him tight. His wonderful son. Remus buries his face against Teddy's fluffy blue hair. He's not he's not he is not not not NOT A WEREWOLF. HE IS NOT A WEREWOLF.

"Remus. Remus,"

Dora's voice, and by her tone he suspects she might have said it a few times already. He looks for her voice and knocks his head into hers. Her arms are around him. He sees her face and she's crying, and he must be too because she's wiping his cheek with her thumb. He clutches Teddy tighter. Teddy Teddy Teddy Teddy Teddy.

"You're shivering, you're freezing. Come on, let's get you into your clothes,"

He tries to tell her no, he isn't letting go of their son because their son is not a werewolf. But all that comes out is a groan.

"Remus, look at me". He obeys. "If you keep squeezing him he's going to cry. And you need to get warm. So you're going to give me Teddy and stand up and put some clothes on,"

He didn't know he was cold. He doesn't know how long he's been holding him. Tonks is stroking his hands and she eases the baby out of his arms and puts Teddy on the carpet. Remus wants to tell her that their son shouldn't sleep on the floor, because their son shouldn't wake up on the floor, because their son is not a werewolf. But she shushes him and guides him to his feet and helps him into his jogging bottoms and hoody.

"That's better. I think you tried to move too fast too soon after changing back, didn't you? You wanted to be with him,"

Remus' knees give way again when he nods so he sinks onto the bed. Tonks is telling him to keep breathing and that he's fine, everything's fine. He tries to talk but chokes on the words, and then Dora is tipping a glass of water down his throat. He swallows, thinking about how she looks after him so kindly with so little complaint, even when he's gone too fast and overwhelmed himself like this.

"Th- tank you," Remus forces out, "T'is is all you, it's you,"

It's all her doing that Teddy is not not not a werewolf. All her. She's holding his face again, which is still teary and snotty.

"It was us. Us, yeah?" she says, and she hugs him tight for a long time. Teddy didn't change, Teddy didn't transform. Then she pushes him gently onto his back and tells him he should rest now.

"No. Teddy. Need Teddy," Remus croaks. He has to hold him again. He is not a werewolf.

"Of course," Tonks says, and a moment later she's putting his son on his chest. Teddy is sleeping soundly like he did at night. Like he always will. Remus desperately wants to tell James.

"Anything else you need?" Dora asks. He shakes his head. There's nothing else he needs now that Teddy is not not not not not a werewolf. He's the most glorious boy, what a clever boy. Perhaps he says that out loud because, Tonks beams and kisses them both. She climbs into bed beside him and wraps her arm around his waist. Their baby wriggles in his sleep, and Remus reckons that he'll be asleep soon too. He can feel himself nodding off, and that's okay because Teddy not a werewolf.

"Remus?" mumbles Dora.

He's sinking into sleep and can only manage a, "Hmm?"

"Told you so".


Thank you for reading. If you have a moment to review, I'd be very grateful. Thanks again, and have a fab day.