Clarke was sitting in the medical clinic, writing down notes about her latest treatment session with Eligius. It had been promising. After three months of failed experiments and setbacks, she thought they were finally at the stage where things would take an upward trajectory. The scientific part of her instructed her to keep her notes dry and factual, to avoid letting hope and intuition trickle in. But if six years of being one of the only two humans roaming the surface of the planet had taught her anything, it was that everything mattered. Every little artefact she had found among the rubble had been important, had helped her survive. And sometimes the feelings behind the facts were the most useful part. It was only practical to write down her gut feelings. She was interrupted mid-sentence by the static of the radio.

'Clarke, you there?' Octavia asked.

Her voice was calm, which meant no emergency, so Clarke took a few seconds to finish her train of thought.

'Clarke, Clarke, Clarke, Clarke Claaarke…' Octavia started singing out her name, and Clarke could hear some echoes in the background that sounded suspiciously like Madi and Murphy. She wasn't sure she wanted to know what that trio was up to, but she eventually had to give in and pick up the radio before Octavia drove her insane.

'Yes, I'm here. What on Earth do you want Octavia? I'm busy.'

'Found some greenish-orange berries by the wood shed. Do you think they'll work in a stew? The food's been a little bland lately.'

'Don't touch them. They're poisonous. Didn't Madi tell you that?'

'Madi didn't remember.' There was a pause. 'So, say someone had eaten a handful of them. Would they die, or just spend the rest of the day puking?'

'Who, Octavia? Was it Murphy? He can't be in too much pain if that's his laughter I can hear in the background.'

There was a thump and some swearing.

Madi's voice came over the radio. 'Just come Clarke, please? We're by the wood shed. Hurry.'

Something didn't add up. Madi had an excellent memory, and she was meticulous when it came to plants. There had been too many accidents when they were living in the valley on their own. Their knowledge of edible food had been hard-won. But there had been a note of pleading in Madi's voice. Something was wrong. Maybe Octavia's playfulness was just a cover for her fear. The wood shed was on the other side of camp, but if she ran she could make it in ten minutes. She just prayed that would be fast enough.

Clarke made it in eight minutes, sweaty and out of breath. She pulled up short as she rounded past the dining hall and caught sight of three solemn faces. She dropped her pack to the ground hard. Those were not the faces of three people worried about death by poisonous berries. Those were the faces of three people trying to keep a straight face and keep the laughter in. The faces of three soon-to-be-dead people.

'What is going on here?' Clarke demanded, hands on her hips. 'Is this some kind of prank? You don't joke about poison!'

Octavia and Murphy had the sense to look ashamed, but Madi stepped forward boldly.

'It's for your own good,' she said. 'Things can't go on this way. You need to fix it.'

'Fix what? I don't know what you-'

She found herself shoved from behind, through the door of the wood shed where she collided with something hard and then fell to the ground. She heard the click of the door locking behind her. When had they put a lock on the wood shed?

'You can come out when you make up!' Octavia shouted. 'This silly fight has gone on long enough.'

Clarke groaned, starting to form an idea of what was happening. A horrifying idea. Sure enough, when she looked up, she saw Bellamy leaning against the wall of the shed. He waved at her.

When she made no movement, he stepped forward cautiously, holding out his hand. 'Do you need…?'

'No,' she said. 'I've got it.' She braced her hand against the door as she pulled herself up. Then she twisted the doorknob, just to be sure. Locked. 'What kind of wood shed needs a lock on the inside?'

Bellamy coughed. 'Well, we were originally trying to make a toilet, but the location was no good. Too close to the dining hall. The smell… Madi was the one to point that out.'

'The little brat. This plan has Octavia written all over it, but Madi seems to have been the real brains of the operation.'

'They aren't wrong Clarke. We need to talk about this fight.'

When she had first been shoved in, Bellamy had seemed a bit nervous, but now he was quickly gaining confidence. That was dangerous. The sooner they got out of here the better. She tried pushing at the door again with no luck. 'We aren't fighting.'

'Oh? Is that why you haven't spoken to me in two weeks? Did you just spontaneously decide to give me the silent treatment for a few laughs?'

She was suddenly glad for the lack of light in the shed, so she didn't have to see the hurt and anger on Bellamy's face. 'I owe you an explanation. I know that. But not like this. It smells in here, and I wouldn't put it past those rascals to bug the place.' There were a few suspicious noises outside that supported her theory.

'When then? How much longer are you going to hide from me? A month? A year?'

She moved closer, careful not to touch him, and then whispered in his ear. 'Tomorrow at dawn. By the river, a mile East of the bridge. I'll explain, I promise.' She stepped back as soon as the last word was out of her mouth, and immediately felt the lack of his body warmth. He had held himself completely still, but she had still been close enough to feel his breath against her hair. Too close.

He nodded.

'Now, do you want to do the honours?' Clarke asked, gesturing to the door. 'Or should I?'

'I'll do it,' he said firmly. 'They had me locked in here for forty minutes before you showed up.'

Clarke moved away from the door so Bellamy could get closer to it.

'Listen up idiots! You are going to let us out right now, or I'll have the lot of you on waste disposal duty for a month. Clarke and I will work our shit out on our own. You will all keep your noses out of it.'

Clarke could have sworn his voice was making the shed shake. There were some whispers outside, but no reply.

'I built this shed with my bare hands, I can take it apart that way too. Open up now!'

'What's the magic word?' Murphy. The rat.

'The magic word is sword. The sword I'm going to tell Emori all about if you don't open up in five, four…'

Clarke had to shield her eyes as the shed was suddenly filled with light. 'You'll have to tell me that story sometime.' She knew Echo had taught them a few tricks with a sword in space, but she couldn't imagine what would embarrass Murphy like that. He always seemed so shameless.

Bellamy's eyes were determined. 'Not until you tell me yours. You promised.'

'I did,' she agreed. They locked gazes for a few moments, and then Bellamy turned away and blundered out of the shed. She could hear cries of pain as he unleashed his fury on their captors. It soon turned into sounds of laughter, and she could easily imagine Bellamy chasing Madi through the camp. She leaned back against the same wall Bellamy had been leaning against when she was shoved into the shed, and closed her eyes.

'Clarke?'

'Go away Octavia.'

'We were just trying to-'

'Shut the door. Please.'

A few moments later she heard it slam shut again, this time without the click of the lock.

News spread around the camp fast. Clarke may have concealed their exact meeting spot, but their eavesdroppers knew there was a confrontation coming up, and they couldn't keep a secret. For the rest of the day Clarke was bombarded with advice.

Raven stopped her on her way to lunch with a hand on her arm. 'You know he'll try to go easy on you, right? Bellamy's a big softy deep down. But don't let him. Don't pull your punches. You'll regret it later.'

'We aren't fighting,' Clarke insisted. 'There will be no punching, verbal or otherwise.'

Raven just gave her a sceptical look that spoke volumes. Clarke started to doubt her own words. Raven probably knew Bellamy better than she did now. Maybe he was itching was a fight?

After that, Clarke changed directions and went back to her tent. She wasn't hungry after all.

Eventually she had to emerge for a bathroom break, which was when Murphy caught her and put in his two cents. 'Don't admit to anything and don't apologise. If you keep your mouth shut long enough he'll talk himself into taking the blame. But just between us pals, what did you do?' Clarke punched him twice in the shoulder and walked off. The second punch was because she suspected he was the one who blabbed about the meeting.

She was still angry when she passed Echo on her way back to the tent, but she made an effort to supress it. The last thing she needed today was to start a fight with Echo. But then Echo, despite running through sword exercises every morning and night, wasn't the fighting type these days. Her breakup with Bellamy two months ago had been as graceful as her swordsmanship. There had been no explosion, just a subtle separation of a once intimate couple. Clarke had sworn she didn't want to know the details, despite everyone's efforts to gossip her to death with them, and now that was coming back to bite her. Clarke had no idea how Echo felt about Bellamy, about her. Of all people, she would definitely know about the wild rumours flying around camp. It would be nice to know if Clarke could expect to wake up one day to a sword in her back. But Echo just nodded as she walked past, and Clarke nodded back. So it seemed she was out of immediate danger.

A few hours later, Clarke had decided her tent was no longer a good sanctuary. People had been dropping by on the flimsiest of excuses, either to ask her outright what was happening with Bellamy, or to get a good look at her and draw their own conclusions to gossip about. She really didn't want to know what they had decided. Monty had reassured her she looked normal, but the hug he had given her in greeting had been a bit over the top, so she didn't trust his words for a second. She had retreated to the medical clinic to do inventory as a distraction, but been surprised to find her mother there. She had expected her mother to be monitoring patients down at the bunker all day. The nervous expression on her face told Clarke that she had also heard the rumours, and thought them important enough to return early. Who had told her? Kane? Madi?

'Good afternoon Clarke. Busy today?' Abby was trying too hard to sound cheerful. It creeped Clarke out a little bit.

'Not really. No injuries today, just some inventory. I'm fine here if you have more work to do at the bunker.' She tried to be breezy as well, but she had gotten her terrible acting skills from her mother.

Abby placed her hand over Clarke's. 'Listen sweetheart, I heard that things have been a little difficult with Bellamy. I know how much he means to you. If there's something you wanted to talk about…'

'No,' Clarke said emphatically. 'Nothing to talk about. Nothing at all. I just really need to count these herbs, plan another gathering before we run out. It's getting colder lately, all kinds of illnesses could crop up.'

Abby looked disappointed and relieved at the same time. 'Well, then I guess I'll run down to the bunker again. I just needed to grab some of these bandages. You know where to find me if you change your mind.'

'Thanks mum. I'll talk to you later.'

Thirty minutes and twenty jars of herbs later, Clarke was only just recovering from her conversation with her mother. So of course, that's when Octavia showed up. Clarke looked her up and down as she walked through the door. She looked a little windswept, but that was all. Unlike Abby, she showed no sign of nervousness. 'Any injuries?'

'No.' Octavia scanned the room, and then closed the door behind her when she confirmed they were alone. She jumped up to sit on the desk. Clarke knew not to waste her breath scolding her. At least it wasn't a sterile surface, just a writing desk.

'Well, can I help you with something else? Another meddlesome scheme?'

'I could help you cheat.'

Clarke put down her notebook. 'Cheat?'

'With Bellamy. You could listen to the tapes. Anything you need to say to him is probably in there, right? Just recycle some of your old words. Boom, presto, speech done.'

She was uncomfortable at the reminder that Octavia had listened to some of her most private thoughts, so her words came out sharper than she meant them to. 'You haven't taken them out have you? I swear Octavia Blake, if you-'

Octavia put her hand on her heart. 'No, they're buried deep. Promise. I would never show them to anyone, you know that. But why waste time coming up with something new? Isn't there something in those tapes you still want to say to him?'

Clarke went back to her notebook, counting syringes. 'No. We're both different now. I need new words. And I can find them on my own. Butt out Octavia. This isn't any of your business.'

Octavia just shook her head. 'You know that isn't true. But fine, I'll let you do it your way. Just don't screw it up.' Octavia swept out the door, and then Clarke was alone again.

Later that night Madi crawled in next to her under the blanket. 'It will be okay,' she whispered. 'Everything will be better tomorrow. You'll see.'

'I'm still mad at you.' But Madi's words and her warmth at her back helped her drift to sleep after hours of restless tossing and turning, so she supposed she had no choice but to forgive her.

Clarke sat by the river with her feet in the water. The water was a little too icy, but she took some comfort from it anyway. It was a familiar habit. There had been more than a few times over the years when she had just needed desperately to feel something. Then she would return to the river, to any old spot on the bank. She would run her hands or feet through the cold water, savouring the sharp ache of it, until it turned into numbness. Then she would pull away, and return to the world of the living, rejecting that emptiness. Now, she pulled her feet out of the water after only a few seconds. The numbness was too enticing, in a way that it hadn't been since the early days of her life after Praimfaya. It made her feel weak. She didn't want Bellamy to think she was a coward. This was a conversation she couldn't hide from, that she shouldn't want to hide from.

She was lost in her thoughts when she heard a rustle nearby. She turned to look behind her, but nothing was there. She let out a sigh, but she wasn't sure if it was of relief or disappointment. When she turned back to the river, he was standing there.

'I thought you meant this side!' Bellamy shouted. 'Didn't you come from the medical clinic?'

It was just another one of the misunderstandings that haunted their relationship these days. He had guessed correctly that she had dropped by the clinic on her way here, but not that she had detoured around the long way to the river. Of course Bellamy wouldn't know that she liked to sit on this side of the river in the morning, where the bird song was loudest. It felt so natural after years of habit that she hadn't even thought to mention it.

'Sorry!' she shouted back. 'I wasn't thinking.' The roar of the river drowned out her words.

She watched as Bellamy pulled off his shirt, her mind carefully blank. She was trying so hard not to think that she didn't realise why he was doing it until he was already in the water.

Bellamy splashed across the river, his steps slow as he resisted its flow. The water came up to his hips. It was a small river, only a few metres across, but everyone was taught to use the bridges, because its strength was unpredictable. Bellamy seemed to be doing okay. He was being pushed back forcefully by the current, but he just kept on walking stubbornly, gaining ground inch by inch. When he finally reached the other side, he shook out his whole body, sending water flying everywhere. He grinned at Clarke. 'No problem. I needed a bath anyway.' He sat down next to her on the river bank, a respectable distance away.

Clarke just closed her eyes and counted to ten. This wasn't part of her plan. In fact, a shirtless, soaking wet Bellamy was sending all of her carefully considered words flying right out of her head. She held on to as much of them as she could, and just prayed that she wouldn't babble out something stupid. It was a point of pride for her that she had never lost her wits around Bellamy Blake. Some of her friends might disagree with that statement, but she knew that when she and Bellamy were screaming at each other incoherently that her brain was actually working harder than ever in her determination to win. But this wasn't a conversation to win or to lose. The words she said today would actually matter. 'So, we're both here.'

Bellamy just gave her an incredulous look, clearly unimpressed by her brilliant observational skills. 'Clarke, what did you need to tell me that you couldn't say in a musty old shed? Why have you been avoiding me?'

Clarke stared out over the river. She had been on the other side when she had worked all of this out in her head last week. Bellamy was right. They were on the wrong side.

'Clarke? I could be catching pneumonia here.'

She rummaged around in her bag and then threw a blanket in his direction. It was ratty and full of holes, but it was clean and sterile. She had packed it as a useful scrap of fabric for tearing off bandages in a medical emergency. It was also warm and soft.

Bellamy grunted out a thank you and wrapped it around his torso.

Clarke started to speak as she set her bag to rights. 'Do you remember that night two weeks ago, when we were eating those weird mushrooms by the campfire?'

'Yes, they were disgusting. I've put them on the do-not-eat list.' The list was mostly for rare or poisonous plants, but occasionally they added something that was just especially foul tasting to the list.

Clarked hummed her agreement.

Bellamy nudged her shoulder. 'It was also the last time we had a real conversation, before you started avoiding me.'

'Right.' Clarke took a deep breath. 'You asked if I wanted some of the secret stash of fruit you had hidden in your tent for Madi.'

'You said no. And then you practically ran away. I never realised you had such an aversion to fruit. Bad attitude for a doctor to have.'

'In that moment, all I could think was that I did want that. I really wanted it. I couldn't imagine anything better if I tried. And I just knew with every fibre of my being how impossible it all was, and it hurt so much that I could barely breathe, let alone look at you.' She hoped he knew she wasn't just talking about the fruit.

'Clarke,' Bellamy said softly. 'Would you please stop?'

She clenched her fists. 'Yes, I'm sorry.' She had never meant the word less, but she couldn't think of a better one. 'I didn't want to bother you with this. But everyone was being so nosy, and if they'd just left me alone…'

'Then you would have dug yourself a deeper hole. Clarke, look at me.'

She did. The look on his face took her breath away. It was full of longing and of hope. And just a hint of pride.

'If you want me, I'm yours.'

'But-'

'It really is that simple. So, do you want me?'

She leaned in and kissed him, her hands braced on his shoulders awkwardly because otherwise she feared she would just fall to the ground. This conversation had stolen all sense of balance from her, mental and physical. But Bellamy was strong, and with his hands on her hips he shifted her over to his lap, where she could let go without fear. But she didn't. She used her new position as leverage to kiss harder, half wanting to make him fall, to make him lose his equilibrium. But he must have centred his gravity, because he refused to fall. He pushed back just as hard, matching her in enthusiasm. She felt like she was burning up, burning six years of frustration out of her system. But she was only fanning the flames. That was okay. She wanted to burn like this forever. Burn their lips together, burn their souls together.

But after a while Bellamy pulled away gently, and stroked her cheek with one finger. 'Clarke, could you please answer the question out loud? Just so there are no misunderstandings later. No take-backs.'

'I want you,' she whispered softly.

'I want you too.'

'We're agreed then.'

'For once in our lives.' Bellamy was grinning.

Clarke realised that she was smiling too. She couldn't seem to stop. She didn't want to stop, even for more kissing. So she just leaned into Bellamy's warmth, closing her eyes and feeling the beauty of the moment. His arms came around her, and they sat like that for a long time. The sun was well and truly up by the time Clarke stirred, feeling the beginnings of hunger.

Bellamy seemed to read her thoughts. 'Breakfast?'

'Mm. In a minute. Or five.' Her stomach wanted her to move, but the rest of her was happy right here.

When her stomach rumbled audibly Bellamy gently disentangled from her and stood up. He held out his hand. This time, she took it. He put his arm around her shoulder and led her around to the bridge, towards the camp.

'What about your shirt?' she asked, remembering it sitting by the edge of the river.

'Oh. How careless of me. I guess I'll have to come back for it later. Will you keep me company? It's easy to get lost around here.'

'I think I could spare an hour or two.'

'It's a date.'

And they wandered back into camp, and went about their day as normal, eating breakfast, cleaning up the dishes, chatting with their friends. The only difference was that they couldn't keep their hands away from each other, always touching, holding hands or leaning against one another. It was an important difference. It was everything she had longed for and fought for, it was everything she had wanted. She still couldn't stop smiling like an idiot, and she never wanted it to stop.