Mikey froze. Leo's words had been muddied due to the tears, but Mikey knew something crucial was just spoken. Like, mondo piece of the puzzle crucial. He desperately wanted to press his brother, so he could get a better understanding, but he waited. Leo was still pouring out at least 3 weeks worth of pent-up emotions, if not more.

No, definitely more. So instead of pressing, the young turtle just wrapped his arms around Leo and wept with him.

Mikey wasn't sure how long they remained that way. It could have been days for all he knew. What he did know for sure, was once Leo finally started to calm down, there was a softness to his breath. Gentle and weak. It may have been because he just screamed lungs out hoarse from the sobbing, but Mikey found it gave him a glimmer of hope. Because for once, in a long time, it didn't sound angry. He opened his eyes and saw Leo's arm draped over his eyes, his body relaxed. He almost looked like he had casually fallen asleep on the couch after a movie night. Gosh, it had been so long since they had one of those.

Mikey was also surprised to find that Raph and Donnie had joined them. Realizing they must have snuck in while they had been crying. While there had been room for Mikey to crawl in alongside Leo, there was no way two more teenagers were going to be lying in this particular bed. So Raph and Don had made themselves comfortable on either end of the bed, keeping a silent vigil over their grieving brother. Donnie looked down and made eye contact with Mikey and offered him a weak smile. Mike returned it, thankful for this moment together. Nestling back down, he returned to his task of cuddling the eldest while he waited for Leo to be ready to speak. Now that he was calmer, it didn't take long.

"Mike. I am so, so sorry." Leo's voice was gravelly "You're right, I have been an angry pain in the ass. I've just… been so confused."

"It's been hard bro."

"That doesn't mean I should make it harder. I know I've been impossible, and I'm so sorry for that. I just… don't know what to do going forward. And that scares the hell out of me." Mikey knew Leo admitting he was scared was difficult for him.

"But Leo, that is what I was trying to tell you. Just because you're the leader doesn't mean you have to go it all alone. You're our brother first, leader second. We are all here for you, with you."

"I'm supposed to be the one you can count on. Instead, I almost killed you. Master Splinter said that if he were gone it would be my job to be like a father to this family." The words came barely above a whisper. Mikey blinked. He couldn't have heard that right.

"He told you what?" Raph asked in disbelief. He had been leaning against the wall but was now propped up and sitting forward, looking in Leo's direction. The sound of his immediate younger brother's voice made Leo shrink deeper into the bed. Mikey could see the red rising in Raph's cheeks. He could tell he was trying desperately to keep his temper in check. "Why would he- how could?" Raph let out an exasperated sigh. "Leo… that shouldn't be on your shoulder's bro. We would rather you be our brother. We need our big brother. That was totally wrong of dad to put that on you."

"But dad was right! You need someone who can make the impossible decisions! That shouldn't be your burden to bear!" Leo was getting worked up again. His breath had picked up the pace and was dangerously close to another round of tears. Mikey began stroking the top of Leo's head again.

"Shhhhh Leo, it's ok." Mikey kept his voice low and soothing.

"But it's not!" Leo suddenly sat ram-rod straight up in the bed, close to hyperventilating. His eyes were wide and brimming with unshed tears. This startled the three other brothers, and they found themselves assuming the same straight posture. "I need to be the strong one! I'm the one who has been entrusted to protect you, not be the reason you get hurt! Your safety is the top priority, and I cannot fail father in this. So why do I feel so damn guilty for taking the Shredder's life?!"

The room fell in silence. Nobody said anything for a long time. Donnie, Mikey, and Raph just stared at Leo, unsure of what to say. Leo was clutching the comforter in his hands, knuckles stiff and white.

"Leo…" Raph reached out to him, but Leo just smacked his hand away.

"No! You must hate me for how weak I am! How can I feel guilty for ending our family's biggest threat?! There was no other way for it to be dealt with. He killed father! I avenged his death like the honorable son that I was raised to be. And if the Shredder lived he wouldn't have rested until he hunted us all and destroyed us. Yet all I can see if my hands lifting his head from his shoulders. The man was pure evil. But…" His voice shuddered and almost died away as he spoke the last few words "I took his life. On purpose."

All of a sudden, the three of them smashed into Leo and encircled him with their arms. Leo sat stiffly, surprised by the affectionate attack from his brothers. The next thing anyone knew, they were all a teary mess, trying to think of the right words to say.

"Leo," Donnie was the first voice to break the pause, "How could we possibly hate you?"

"Seriously bro. I betcha Shredder never blinked about anyone he snuffed out! You knew how evil the Shred-dude was and you still hated having to do what you did!" Mikey squeezed tighter as he praised his brother. He thought back on that night, the movie glamour he had associated with it now gone. His poor brother. The first tenant they had all been taught; Life is valuable. Ninjutsu should only end a life if there is no other way. They all took it seriously, but Leo especially. Since they had been topside the priority had always been to save as many lives as possible. At all cost, only harm fatality if left with no other options. There had inevitably been casualties over the years. Someone didn't clear out of the way from a bomb going off or got out from the fire that broke out. But the causalities had never been intentional and to the best of their knowledge never anyone innocent.

Yet with the Shredder, they went in with one objective. End him. And Mikey's brave brother who strove to uphold their view of life his whole seventeen years had been suffering the consequences alone. Mikey blinked at that thought. Suddenly he had a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach. A small sob escaped from his lips. "Leo… you were alone. We got separated from you and you had to do it alone. That must have been horrible."

"Mikey, are you kidding me? I'm so thankful you guys weren't there. None of you have to carry that burden-"

"Now you listen to me Leonardo," Raph grabbed Leo's face in his hands. His eyes were burning with tears, but they looked hard at Leo, commanding his attention. "You listen to me good. What we have gone through as a family is hellish. It's damn unfair. Your right, killing the Shredder was the only way to make things right. But it is ok that it still sucks. You are not weak for hating the fact that you had to kill someone. It is what separates you from Shredder and makes you the amazing leader you are. But you aren't bearing this by yourself anymore. Period. We won't let you. We don't need you to be a damn father. You need to let us be your brothers." Without warning, Raph lunged into Leo, throwing his arms around his neck. He hugged him tightly, sobbing into his neck. "Please Leo… come back to us. We… I need you. Now, more than ever."

Through Raph's lecture, Leo maintained his gaze with him, but the tears ran freely. Now, at the admission of Raphael's need of him, Leo began to weep bitterly. He encircled his arms around him and hugged him back as tightly as he could. Donnie and Mikey, who had given the two eldest space during this time, now joined the sob pile. For the first time in the wake of the tragedy, the four brothers held each other and grieved together. After a few moments, Leo quietly whispered, "Thanks guys.", then grabbed onto his brothers even tighter.

The road ahead was still long a long one for him, but Mikey had no doubt that the path of healing had begun for Leo. The switch had finally been flipped back right where it should be, and the energy could flow again.

Author's note: And that is a wrap! I hope you enjoyed this final installment! I struggled with writer's block on this last leg, and I hope it came out alright. I knew what I wanted to say but had the most difficult time framing it. Poor Leo. I really was quite angry with Splinter in the episode Requiem for telling Leo that he would need to be a father-like figure for his brothers. I think I understand where he's coming from, he wants to make sure his boys are protected, but goodness man let the kid be a kid sometimes. Ah well, I don't write the official stuff. ;)

I have another piece that's been in the hopper and that I'm going to start working on. I hope to have out in the next week or so!

Thanks for reading!

All-the-years