Chapter 27
A Few Times

Disclaimer: I do NOT own My Hero Academia, or its characters. I DO however, own my OCs and my story.

.:+:.

... damn it... what did I do...?

.:+:.

"Are you alright?"

Izaru blinked, her head tilting left toward the sudden voice behind her, and one that was nearly drowned out by the clamor and the commotion in the gym. She turned just slightly, her hands in her pockets and stiff-backed as she found she was no longer standing alone (as she had been the last hour or so), now that Aizawa had come up beside her and asked the question.

The air was prickling around her, all manner of small, fleeting little moments of panic and hyper-awareness flitting in an out of her body, moments of danger that could happen (and did in a few cases...), but none of them bad. They were all small things, stemming from the people dodging about, fighting, firing off their Quirks, whatnot- it was precisely the sort of environment where her Quirk was on an all-time high. It was tiring, but it was normal in a way... and as long as they weren't really bad feelings, she would keep quiet, and try not to let it drive her... mad...

... But quite frankly, she would rather let her thoughts be consumed by all of that, rather than let them settle on all those knotting, uneasy feelings and thoughts still nagging at her about what had happened at training yesterday, and at 2 in the morning.

I said the wrong thing... And in the end I couldn't even talk properly... Damn it.

And worse still was the nagging thought that- in the end- she had just made it all worse

She threw the thoughts away and turned her head a little more, her grey eyes landing on Aizawa beside her and blinking, just once.

They'd been standing there in silence the whole day, both now and before the break for lunch- barring when he broke off to talk with the students every now and again. Through all of it she'd been content to utter silence, just watching, with her attention flitting between the training, the students, Aizawa's wandering, and her thoughts without end. When she managed not to get sucked into her own head entirely, her interest had turned to picking up on Quirks, putting together in her head what they were and what the limitations might be... as well as attempting to stick names to faces. Some of them she had down with relative ease, like Midoriya and Bakugou... Iida was easy too, considering the 'passionate' introduction the day before, but the rest of the names had blurred a little and she hated it.

She'd actually asked Aizawa their names a few times already, nodding her head to one student in particular from time to time once she'd been watching them long enough. He replied easily, almost bored... she couldn't tell if her asking bothered him or not, but she never lingered on that too long either.

His sudden question of her being 'alright' had her eyes narrowing at him though, her lips pulling into a tight line. Her expression that had been the definition of neutrality not two seconds before, became suddenly the slightest bit tense- because it had never been normal for him to ask that, ever... even when it called for it. And he was asking a lot lately.

... people change... I guess... I didn't think about that... but it's been ten years... right...?

She supposed him becoming a teacher had never occurred to her either, at least not right off the bat... it didn't matter.

"... why?" Izaru asked lowly, her grey eyes flashing as he kept on looking ahead and not at her.

"I don't suppose being around a group of people in the middle of combat training is pleasant." Was the dry answer he gave, and she narrowed her eyes a little more.

"... I'm used to it... none of it is bad, it's just constant." She replied lowly, "... I can handle it, Shota. I handled it just fine back in school."

"... This isn't back then." He grumbled, and she bit the inside of her cheek, deliberately looking away from him and back toward the students. And though she didn't see it, he frowned a little, his posture wilting in exasperation as he shot her a sideways glance. He grumbled a bit to himself, silence settling between them again, and this time he felt himself fidget.

To be entirely honest, silence did not bother him. In fact most of the time he preferred it... But this silence was uneasy, prickling, and tense- and it made him all of those things. She'd been quiet and lost in her own head since last night, and he still had no clue why she'd suddenly seemed to fall back... Fall back into the lifeless shell of Seer who didn't react, or talk, or even seem to be there.

And no, it wasn't quite that bad, she wasn't completely emotionless. But she was still so subdued, and she seemed to have curled in on herself and gotten stuck in her own head- so stuck in her head that it was eerily similar to how she had done the same thing at the Police Station. And he wished he knew why, or what it was she was thinking... And he wished he knew how to make this heavy tense that had fallen over them go away. A tense that felt like a slowly suffocating cloud over his head, wearing on his nerves and his heart- of which had never ceased to ache since all of this started... And more and more he was losing the will to be- shit.

He looked away from her entirely, his eyes narrowed and hands in his pants pockets, burying his chin in his Capture Device.

... Could he push it though? Would it even be a good idea? He wasn't sure what he'd even hoped to expect with all of this, her being here, alive, at UA- even after everything that had happened and he had learned... But he needed to do something, he couldn't just let things fester in this suffocating, uneasy way. And he couldn't let silence be the only thing between them anymore... He had probably been silent for far too long.

...years... Even...

Izaru wasn't paying him any mind though, all she was aware of was that he had tensed up beside her, grim-faced... And she could feel it too, that 'suffocating cloud'. She felt it in her own way, just as clearly as the prickle of warning and unease and sense of danger all around and without end. But she swallowed against it, her hands burying further in her jacket pockets and doing her best to just focus on the students.

She could only see about a few of them at any given time, since they were all spread out among the raised pillars and platforms of cement (courtesy of Cementoss...), and several of them she couldn't see at all. She picked up on only a few of the Quirks, and she was faintly curious to see more... She didn't move though, not even when Aizawa did. The idea of going around and talking with any of the students was just...

She grumbled at that thought, her attention dodging it like all the rest and finding the blonde hair of one of the boys that had come to greet her first off the day before instead.

... ah... Kamu... Kaminari...?

I think... Maybe...

The blonde boy walked back in from a side door (to which several students had been coming in and out of, going between the Support Department...), smirking to himself with the redhead who had been with Bakugou yesterday- a sort of tool on his hand... Probably from Support.

She blinked, watching silently as the blonde called up to Ectoplasm, asking for another clone to 'test his new tool out and look for any bugs'.

... A prototype of some sort then...

Izaru stiffened, her heart skipping a small beat as the bad feelings all around suddenly got drowned out by something worse- a sudden kick up from Wary to Risky

Aizawa cast Izaru a sideways glance when he sensed how rigid she was all of a sudden. Her eyes had locked on Kaminari and Kirishima beside him, unease of a higher caliber crossing over her blank expression out of nowhere. She was tense, and suddenly alert- but not enough to speak to something really bad, so for the meantime Aizawa didn't move, but he did keep a wary eye on the two boys.

What is she feeling..?

"... I don't think it's going to work like..." Izaru muttered quickly, almost to herself, before she cut off, her voice dying as Kaminari faced the new clone that Ectoplasm had produced.

Kaminari's arm extended, smirking in excitement as he fired up his new tool, golden light dancing around his body and hair sticking on end with the sudden surge in current. The air buzzed from the intensity of the static and electricity, enough that Aizawa could feel it even from the distance he and Izaru were at.

"Here we go!"

Aizawa blinked, watching quietly as the electrical current around Kaminari's arm moved in toward the new tool, condensing itself- but still sparking and flickering in bright flashes of yellow-white light that hummed and popped loudly. Aizawa felt the hair on the back of his neck stand up slightly at the sudden surge of electricity dancing on the air, Kaminari nearly grinning from ear to ear as his eyes shone... Though that smile Kaminari was wearing wore off quickly, the tool blackening at the front when what ball of electrical current it had been forming suddenly imploded on itself. It sent sparks and jagged lines of yellow spilling out around him and striking hard against the cement, the light dancing around in a series of small booms, and causing Kirishima to back off a little. Kaminari let out an exaggerated moan even as the electricity continued to dissipate- though of course none of the wanton current bothered him in the slightest.

"Ah man! I totally thought it was gonna work!" Kaminari whined, and Aizawa shook his head slightly, letting out a silent sigh of exasperation.

... whining about it won't help anything...

His thoughts got cut off though, his body stiffening at the motion of someone's hand grabbing tight hold of his arm. So tightly it was almost painful, and it made him jump a bit, because it came out of literally nowhere-

He blinked, his expression falling slack in surprise when the initial shock wore off and he felt that hand shaking, saw her knuckles had turned white from the strength of her grip and her posture rigid... Saw her face had gone suddenly so very pale and her eyes fixed on Kaminari, her expression nothing but deepset, true and utter fear.

Aizawa stared, his mind racing as he kept his eyes locked on Izaru, and the sudden change, the way she'd grabbed him- was it because of the bad feeling? Was something about to-?

Izaru sucked in a sharp breath of air, her grey eyes reflecting the yellow glow of the electricity even as it died down, her fingers digging into his arm still as she swallowed, hard. She stayed rigid in her spot for a few long seconds, her grip on his arm never letting up and shaking still- paralyzed even... before she stiffened, her eyes snapping away from the sight and toward where her hand had gone without her meaning for it to. It just... happened.

Izaru let go of him quickly, pulling her hand back toward her almost as if she'd been bit, and her eyes dropping to the floor as she stuffed both hands into her jacket pockets. She shook herself out a little, but it did her little good. She was trembling still, her breaths shaky, and the look on her face......

Absolute terror

"S... Sorry..." Izaru stammered quickly, her voice was shaking too, and her eyes stayed locked on the ground as she sucked in another breath and held it.

Aizawa's lips pulling into a tight line as he kept his eyes fixed to her as she stood there, seemingly doing everything she could to calm down and out of the sudden surge in panic that had rammed into her. And why? She'd grabbed hold of him so quickly and so tightly because she was petrified... she did it in a rush of unbridled, and almost staggering emotion. Such powerful emotion in someone who had been nothing but subdued this whole time... And it was pure fear. Fear and terror enough she was shaking like a leaf, and looked like she'd seen a ghost.

But why? What on earth could earn something like that from her? After the last few days of near nothing? Was it because of-?

Aizawa stiffened though, the questions stalling in his mind and his eyes widening as his thoughts clicked together in little time at all.

.:+:.

"Alright, let's move to something different, then." Tsukauchi murmured, "... like how are you alive? There seems to be no shred of a doubt that you did die, there's a death certificate, murder report..."

"... I... I know..." Aneko hissed, her voice dropping a bit lower. She stiffened, "... I remember... Up until... Moving in front of..." she swallowed, hard. "... I don't know... H...how long... After... How long I... Was... Dead... I... I think Simon... Stopped the... Fight... He liked... My.. Quirk... So he... He took me... Replaced my body with... Someone else... And... And then... F...forced... Surge... To...t...o..." Her words faded into nothing as Tsukauchi's head tilted, a little lost and his eyes glittering when he saw her shudder, her already elevated breathing getting faster, more ragged... Panicky, almost.

Her body hunched over more than it already was, her forehead pressing against the table top as her elbows fell on her knees, and she started shaking- violently.

"... B...br...ing... Br...ing... M..me... B...ba...ck... S...sh...ock... M...my... he...art...i...into... Bea...ting... O...over... And... Over..." She sucked in a sharp breath of air, her knuckles white from holding on to the back of her neck softly tightly. "...I... H...e... S...sur...ge... could... F...force... my...m...my...body... al...ive... but... he... H...e... C...couldn't...f...fix...me...th...they...had t..to...w...wait...l...let... Me... Heal...tch... N...normally... A...and... I...if... I... Di...a...again... it...just... S...start...ed...over..."

.:+:.

She'd been wrenched back- she'd had someone force her heart and her body back into functioning order- over and over again. Forced into living with all that pain and suffering caused by the damage of the Pit and Kine... she'd been brought back from the dead, over and over, and every time she succumbed to her injuries...? How many times would her heart have given out, if Simon had had to heal her by normal means...?

Her body was so beyond broken after what happened that day at the Pit. Her muscles were shredded, organs beaten enough to have her vomiting blood, bones broken in too many places to count- her back had been a hole. And still she'd been zapped back into life, forced alive only to live in that pain, waiting for wounds to heal and dying over and over, on a terrible repeat. And every single time, brought back by electricity running rampant through her body and burning as it went.

Aizawa felt his stomach knot, blanching a little himself when he remembered, and realized in an instant why she looked so incredibly, utterly scared. Pale and shaking and stuck in her spot, shrinking in on herself even further, and faster toward some dark place he knew lurked there for her, and he could only imagine.

That wasn't a reaction from her Quirk, no. That was because of Kaminari's electricity.

His hand shifted in his pocket, ready to reach out to her, put a gentle hand on her shoulder maybe- but he stopped himself. She'd grabbed him to start with, but she pulled away so quickly, almost like she had regretted reaching for him in the first place. He wasn't sure any contact on his part would be welcomed, not at that moment, and so he didn't. He kept his hand to himself, though it was harder to do than he imagined it could be.

"... It's alright." Aizawa told her quietly, and Izaru let out the breath she had been holding for so long, before she took in another, longer one. That one came out as shaky as the one before it, but she still forced another few breaths anyway, just trying to calm down again... and it helped little. Slowly but surely, she relaxed, and Aizawa stayed where he was, watching her quietly as she calmed down, lips pulled into a tight line and eyes glittering. "... Are you okay?" He asked softly after a few moments. Izaru nodded, stiffly, still not looking at him.

"... I'm... Fine." She mumbled, and he didn't necessarily believe it, but he decided not to press it right then either. She likely didn't want to be pestered on it further (if her answer had been any indication), and he wasn't looking to prod at an open wound... so to speak.

So silence settled between them once more, neither one of them saying another word... tense again. And worse this time around.

Izaru swallowed, her hands balled into fists in her jacket pockets and her eyes locked with the floor... she could hear her heart, beating quickly and almost frantically in her chest, feel it pounding against her ribs almost painfully.

Why did... I react... Like that...?

And it was like that for another hour, the sun setting over UA and orange light flooding the windows in the gym well before Aizawa called the Training to a halt and ordered his Class back to their Dorms. Midnight, Ectoplasm and Cementoss moved up to meet Aizawa and Izaru as the students filed out- but all three of them got left behind as Aizawa muttered something about 'being back later' and ordered Izaru follow him out, and her alone.

Izaru cast Midnight a slightly questioning look as she followed the dark-haired man out, and the other woman simply shrugged- no clue.

If it was possible, the tenseness got worse

"... Shota, where are we going?" Izaru mumbled behind him, his back facing her as he lead the way a few steps ahead of her, hands in his pockets and quiet. His shadow in front of him from the setting sun got dimmer as it sank below the horizon all the way, and night earned a deeper hold on the world, both of them headed along without their shadows on one of the main pathways that lead toward... The Main Building..?

"Out." Was the flat reply she earned from him, and she blinked at the answer.

"... Out...?" She mumbled,

"Keep up." He ordered curtly, ignoring her mumble and clearly not looking to elaborate the point. Izaru's eyes flashed, searching passed and ahead of him to what they were headed toward, and feeling her pulse pick up when she realized-no, not the Main Building.

The Main Entrance

Aizawa heard her steps speed up behind him as the gate came into view, his movement halting at last as her hand grabbed on to his arm and stopped him abruptly. He let out a small breath, turning toward her only slightly and earning those glittering grey eyes.

"Out where?" She asked lowly, and he blinked slowly.

He could see the discomfort on her face, the small, faint inklings of insecurity that made his heart twist a little. She'd not been able to go back to that barren expression since what happened earlier with Kaminari, no matter how hard she seemed to try. And for it, he could actually see small bits of what she was feeling- and it was all things that made the ache in his soul worse. But he didn't let his outward appearance give any sign to what he felt inwardly, he just held her eyes steadily.

"To eat." He replied softly, "Is that going to be a problem?"

She narrowed her eyes at him, she could tell there was more to it- of course she could. And there was, but he wasn't planning on getting into it standing there, or anywhere near UA. Not with everyone else around, and all those people who were keeping as close an eye on her as he was. All those watching, worrying, tense and concerned people who she was so very uncomfortable being around.

She'd been uncomfortable through all of it, there hadn't been an instant since this all started where she hadn't been uneasy. He knew that, because he was the same way... and it needed to stop.

It had only been three days since she came to UA. A week now she'd dropped back into his life... A week already everything had just been nothing but turmoil, and question, and unease, and ache. Rationally, he knew this was best left to time- to let there be time for things to try and settle on their own, but... Patience... Be damned.

He needed to do this now, even if rationally it might have been better to wait. He needed it... and maybe she needed it to, even if it was going to be easy.

Her hand didn't let go of his arm for a few long seconds, her eyes searching every inch of his expression, trying so, so hard to understand what he was planning, and why he was acting like that. She knew it wasn't like him, this behavior didn't quite fall into his normal persona, and knowing that made her even more uneasy- he saw it in an instant.

"... uhm... no..." She mumbled slowly, her hand releasing his arm and pulling it back toward her as she dropped her eyes. "... I assume... you cleared leaving with the Principal already...?" She asked,

"Come on." He murmured flatly and without bothering to answer the question, turning again and heading through the gate, his hands still in his pants pockets and walking a little slower now to let her keep pace with him more than before. He could feel her a few steps behind him, sticking closer now as he lead the way right down the street and away from the school. He glanced over his shoulder only once through the walk, his eyes softening to see her trailing behind him with her shoulders slightly hunched, her eyes fixed on the ground and nothing else- tense as tense could possibly be.

No, this wouldn't be easy... on either of them. But still he didn't think it could wait, not anymore.

The sky was a violet hue by the time they slowed up, the street lined on either side by small shops and the like, and spare few people moving about the streets passed them. As to be expected, this place was fair distance between the center of the populace and UA itself, and only consisted of small neighborhoods and markets close by to the school. It was not a heavily populated area, and the lack of people served well for his purposes (and the school's of course). He knew it would be better if there wasn't a bunch of people around- both so no one would bother them, and there was less for Izaru's Quirk to react to.

Aizawa turned sideways toward a small, warmly lit shop and paused, shifting the curtains over the entrance and bit and tilting his head in a gesture for Izaru to step under the overhang ahead of him. She paused a little, still looking rather unsure, before slipping passed him and moving inside the shop. Aizawa followed close behind as she took a stiff seat down at the very end of the bar counter just inside the entryway, and he sat down next to her.

Aizawa lift a hand and caught the eye of the shop-owner, ordering off two bowls of shoyu with the most bored expression on his face. Izaru sat next to him in silence, her hands in her lap and watching him from the corner of her eye for a few seconds, before her eyes fell closed. Aizawa's hand fell back down as he finished ordering, his shoulders sinking as he cast a quick glance at Izaru, before folding his hands together on the counter in front of him and letting his eyes rest there instead.

"We need to talk." Aizawa murmured lowly after a moment, but Izaru didn't react, at least not right away. She didn't look at him, even as he glanced her way when the silence dragged on a bit too long. She just sat there, unmoving, eyes fallen, stiff... nervous.

"... and what do you want to talk about?" She murmured after awhile,

"You haven't asked about much of anything since being caught. Not about the last ten years, or what's gone on in all that time." He murmured, "You might know about some of it, but you certainly don't know all of it. It's odd you haven't asked about several things yet... and that includes asking about your father." He told her quietly, and he saw her stiffen slightly at the mention of it, his lips pulling into a tight line as he looked away again. "... I take it that Tsukauchi told you." He mumbled,

"... no, I already knew." She replied softly, and Aizawa blinked in surprise at the reply, his eyes instantly moving back to her again. But she was still stiff in her seat, facing straight ahead and not toward him- though by now her eyes had opened and settled on the counter, stuck there almost. "... I told you, Shota... I faded back... pulled away from Simon's Quirk... More than once..." She mumbled quietly, "... Those little times between big stretches... Where I could think for myself again, even just... a little... I looked into it... Looked for my dad... I... I already knew he died, Tsukauchi didn't have to tell me..." She grumbled, her voice dropping near the end. Aizawa let out a silent breath, his eyes flashing as he saw the way her hands wrung together tightly in her lap.

"... I'm sorry." He murmured, but she just shook her head at it, almost curtly.

"It's fine." She mumbled, he paused, his eyes still fixed to her from the side and debating for a few moments if he should press it... because he knew very well it wasn't 'fine', but she clearly didn't want to go further down that line of thought.... maybe another time.

"... Do you want to ask anything else?" He said, changing the subject with ease. "Anything you don't already know the answer to?"

"... I know the basics... Shota..." Izaru mumbled, and he shook his head.

"I really doubt the basics are enough." He replied, "... You have things you want to ask, Aneko. It's better not to pretend that you don't..." He saw her stiffen, her eyes darting upward and glittering as she shot him a look.

"...you have things you want to ask too, Shota." She grumbled softly, and he blinked at the quick retort, before nodding slightly.

"Yes. But for now at least, I think it's better to let you ask what you want first." Was his soft reply, "You can't deny that you've been hesitating to talk about more than a few things, and I understand why you haven't... But trying to ignore it, or just soldier through it all isn't going to do any good. You're going to make things worse for yourself if you don't find some way to relax, even just a little. The reason you stayed awake for so long after the surgery is because you're so worked up, and you can't live like that- 'used to it' or not." She grimaced a little, her eyes moving away from him and her shoulders hunching a fraction of an inch.

"... I don't know why I'm so 'worked up'." She muttered lowly after a few moments of quiet, and his head tilted at the words. "... I honestly just... Don't... Understand it... I told you before... That the things that happened with Simon... The information isn't there, but the emotions are... And I have nothing to connect them to... They're just... Feelings... Floating... Nagging... But I don't know what they go with..."

Her eyes fell to her hands hooked together in her lap as her voice dropped a little more,

"... It's completely reversed now... All of the information is there... I know what's going on... I understand it rationally... But... I don't know what the feelings are... I don't know what they mean...or... Why I feel... Like I do... I don't even know what... What to call them..." She mumbled, her shoulders hunching a little further. "... I... I never disliked being around people... Not even with how my Quirk works... I liked being around someone, anyone... I liked being able to take my mind off of myself..." She grumbled, "... It's contradictory... It doesn't make sense... and... I know that's part of what's got me so... 'Worked up'... Rationally I can understand that being around everyone... Anyone... right now... Sets me on edge... But... I don't know why..."

Her hands tightened enough her fingernails were digging into her knuckles, her shoulders hunching more.

"... Talking to people is like that too... When someone gets too close... I... Don't understand why I feel like this... Why I react that way... I don't know why..." She muttered lowly, her grey eyes flashing. "... tch... How in the hell can I... understand and know all of the feelings from the last ten years... But not the ones right now...? I'm just... Going through the motions... Trying to act like what I think is appropriate... Because I don't have the actual feelings to go from... to know...what to do... I'm just... guessing... but I still don't... damn it..."

He heard her swallow, her knuckles turning white from the tightness of them being clasped together, and her eyes shutting tight too.

"... What happened... today... with that kid's Quirk... that's... I've never... reacted like that... ever... n...not once..." She hissed, her voice quavering. Aizawa grimaced, watching quietly as her hands broke apart as she hooked them behind her neck, her elbows leaning on the counter as she let out a long, trembling breath. "... I don't understand why I react like I do... I just... Do what I think I'm supposed to... I guess at everything... I go with it... Even when I don't get it... I... I think I know somethings... But... I don't know what to do about them... For them... There is things... I know I need... To clear up... B... But... Talking to people... Trying to talk to people... Trying to seem... Normal... it's... it's so hard... and... and I don't even know what normal even is... or... or what it means to be normal... Or even just... Live..."

He felt something like a sharp stab of pain in his chest at that last part, and it worsened as her voice died away and she seemed to fold in on herself, rigid and trembling so, so faintly beside him. She shook her head a little, swallowing hard and her voice barely above a whisper next, and so hushed he hardly heard her, but he did and it made his heart twist more and more he almost couldn't breathe.

"I just... don't know... Anymore..."

She sounded so defeated. Lost even... Of course she did, how could he have expected any different?

What Simon's Quirk had done to her, fragmenting thought and freewill, erasing entire bits of memory and leaving whole sections just blank... What happened to her, to be mindless and a slave for ten years? How could he have expected she could understand what it meant to live? Or for her to even know how to?

In ten years she had been alive in technical terms, but she hadn't been living for ten years, not really. She was just empty, trapped in a prison made of her own mind and body and stripped and refused of everything it meant to be human, and to be alive. She'd been starved of all human interaction, contact, and social cues... She'd been forced and ordered around, been nothing more than a puppet for all these years- used and hurt, and suffering this whole time. For ten years she hadn't needed to feel anything, and had been told to cut off all the emotions, to ignore them, to just get the job done. She'd been ordered to leave morality and conscience behind and she had been utterly alone, the entire time.

The question had to be asked, when discussion about what would happen to her cropped up- what could she do? Could she even go back to having any sort of a life, even if she was cleared off all wrongs? Was it possible she could find some normalcy, and just live? What life could be had after losing it all those years ago, and never truly gaining it back? Her heart was beating, her body worked and functioned and that was all well and good... But her life had been snatched away and stalled for ten years regardless.

In what version of this story, could Aneko Izaru ever live?

The worst part of it was... He didn't have an answer.

The both of them went quiet as the waitress came around and set the steaming bowls of broth in front of them, before she headed away again. And they just sat there for a few moments, still silent, still tense, neither of them moving to touch the food that had been set before them.

"... You don't have to be normal." Aizawa told her quietly and at length, Izaru stiffened. "No one expects you to be. If you're not comfortable with something, you don't have to pretend you are... No one is forcing you to be anything you aren't."

"... And what if I don't know what I am?" She hissed quickly, "... I can't be anything like I was... I've not been me for ten years... what if there isn't a me anymore? I haven't had a will to be anyone for so long... I've just been... Empty... Dead..."

He swallowed at that, his eyes dropping closed at the last word.

Dead

"... You are in several ways... still you." He assured quietly, "... I understand what you mean, I get it... But the person you were before all of this isn't completely gone... If it was, you wouldn't have moved to help me with Scarlet, or be trying to help stop Simon... Or even be so wound up, about all of this." He pushed his bangs out of his face with a small sigh. "You're still who I remember... The circumstances have changed, along with several other things, but at your core, you are more or less still the same person I knew... Even after everything." He told her softly, pausing slightly with his fingers tangled in his hair. "... And even if you can't see it yet, or understand it." He added, "... Things are complicated, and I won't lie, they will continue to be for a long while... But you never were the sort of person to bend easily under anything." Aizawa continued quietly, his fingers still tangled in his hair and stuck there as he sat with his eyes closed, "I don't expect you to go back to being the exact same person you were, but it wouldn't be true to say that person is gone entirely. The Aneko I knew is still around, still in you... At your base you still have the same values that you had before, the motivations and convictions, and many of the same habits." He murmured, "You said it yourself before Aneko, about your 'bad habit' of rambling- that is the same, and you still have a foul mouth too." She swallowed at that, and he let out a small breath, his hand falling again as he cast her a sideways glance.

"I know it's confusing right now, and I know you don't 'get it'." He told her softly, "But you won't be stuck like this for the rest of your life, it's been hardly a week. Even you need more time than that to figure out everything. You're always rushing to keep ahead of what's going on, you always were- but none of this is something you can mull over for a few hours and automatically get it." He shook his head a little, "You're good with learning things and understanding them in record time, but this isn't going to be something you can do that with. You don't have to do everything all at once, and you don't have to know everything, or understand it all right away either." He assured softly. He broke off a moment in silence when he saw her swallow again, her shoulders hunching a bit more as she brought her hands up from her lap and in front of her, leaning her elbows on the counter and pressing her chin into her hands, though her head stayed a little bowed regardless. "... It's okay to be confused, and nervous, even if you don't understand why that is right now. You'll figure it out eventually... So for now just... Do what you think is better for you, even if you don't think it's the most rational, or even socially 'appropriate' choice." He told her and she grimaced a bit, silence falling between them for a few seconds as he watched her and the way... Her face pulled from behind her hands, thoughtful but also... Incredibly uneasy, and even a little... Pained.

"... I... I'm... Sorry..." She mumbled at length, he blinked at the apology, a little surprised with it. "... Uhm... I... I don't think I can... Ever... Apologize... Or... Even just... Make up for... Any of it... Shota... I don't... Think... I know how... Or if... It's even possible... To..." His eyes narrowed slightly, head tilting and a little lost on where her train of thought had suddenly gone-?

"... I'm so sorry... That you... Had to live with all of that... Be there... back at the Pit... Had to live with... Remembering... All of... What... Happened... That... N... None of that is fair to have... Made you live through... and I... I can't imagine... I'd never want to... Force you... To live with that... Hanging over you..." She hissed, her eyes closing as her hands moved up a little more, her forehead pressing against them, and her hair falling about her face, nearly hiding it from all view. Aizawa felt his heart plummet to his feet at the words, instantly aware of what she was getting at now.

There it was- the thing that he'd been... afraid... of talking about.

"... Tch... It... It's been so long... I know... You're not the exact same... But... I think... I know... Putting you through any of that... And popping back into the picture now... After all of that... I am... I'm sorry... I don't want... I never wanted... To do anything like this... To you... To anyone... You didn't deserve to have to... Live through that..."

Aizawa's eyes dropped closed, his head bowing slightly.

.:+:.

"Huh?! What's the deal, why ain't she dead?!"

Aizawa opened his eyes at that, his attention earned more so by the confused and terrified words that rippled out among the cages. His eyes slowly moved down the corridor to pick them out, he could still hear things thumping and pounding overhead- there was still a fight going on, so the bundle of blood and broken bones the Guards held between them was not the same woman they had dragged out ten minutes earlier...

"... Seriously?! Why is she still breathing?! Don't tell me Kine let her live?!" Junou snapped, clearly getting more agitated by the second as the Guards drew closer.

Aizawa sweatdropped slightly, his eyes narrowing as he frowned- breathing?

He could hear the breaths, rattling and wheezy- painful to hear. She wasn't walking in her own, her body was slumped between those two men, her head hanging limply- her arms, her legs, every part of her- covered in gashes, bruises. She was leaving a thin trail of blood on the floor as they carried her, her hair a dirty, tangled mess of rust and red hues, her knuckles so torn and bloody you couldn't see the skin. She wasn't moving, she didn't look awake- she hardly looked alive, and he figured she was fairly close to not being anymore...

... His eyes opened again, landing on the woman as her coughing ceased- hardly- but her breathing remained as ragged and shallow as ever, maybe even getting worse. He stiffened slightly, sweatdropping a bit as she moved, her hands shaking, her arms following suit- struggling and still forcing herself up off the floor again, he heard the winces and whimpers being crushed in her throat almost fruitlessly. He paused half a second, unsure of what to do or if he should do anything- she managed to push herself on to her knees, her body hunching and shuddering with the movement, her face hidden by her hair and blood specking against the floor from the countless wounds, mixing with the smear she had already left across the cement.

"...tch... y...you're... an... i...diot..." Her voice was so low he hardly heard her, but he did and he blinked at the scolding. She groaned, forcing herself on to her feet and swaying so badly she about hit the floor again- he shifted, but her shaking grip on the bars to the cage kept her upright as her knees threatened to give out underneath her. "... you ju...st... screwed... your...sel..f...t..tch..."

She tilted forward, taking a few jolting, uneven steps toward the other wall, her hands slipping a little along the metal bars and leaving drips of scarlet in her quake. She halted, her shoulder hunching as she faced away from him, leaning against the grills for support as she bent over a bit, her head hanging and breathing making her sway.

Aizawa moved, pulling his feet under him and slowly starting to his feet, his eyes narrowed as he watched her closely- she was in terrible shape.

"...tc...s...shit... yo..u... shoul...dn...t..." She hissed, her voice twisting as he saw her shoulders hunch further, he felt his stomach clench as he saw her suck in a sharp, shuddering gasp of air- and then she convulsed, her feet slipping slightly as she struggled to stay upright, coughing harshly- and coughing that soon turned into retching.

Sticky pools of blood splattered against the floor at her feet, and his heart skipped a beat as panic hit in sheer unconscious reaction.

He was on his feet in the next instant, clearing the small distance between the two of them and his hands moving to steady her as her body continued to arch underneath him, the pool on the floor getting larger as she continued to throw up the metallic liquid in terrifying quantity.

This is bad

It continued that way for three more minutes, his hold under her shoulder and on her waist getting firmer as she lost what little strength she had had to push herself onto her feet in the first place. One of her hands fell from holding the bars, her arm curling in front of her as she swallowed- hard, and wiped away the blood that had spilt down her chin, smearing the red but the stain was still there. She sucked in a breath that was meant to calm herself down, but it caught painfully in her throat and she moaned, Aizawa's muscles tightened as he felt her weight fall into him nearly entirely, her legs buckling underneath her as he caught her in his arms without a second of hesitation.

He backed up, easing her into his arms as she gasped and panted in rough, shallow uneven breaths- the hiss of pain she let slip as he moved her made him bite down on his cheek, but still he said nothing.

He set her down, letting her back fall against the dividing wall as he took a knee in front of her, his hands moving and eyes scanning the injuries- no small amount of broken bones, probably a dozen broken ribs with the way she was struggling to breathe, gashes and cuts everywhere... he hesitated only slightly to shift away the tattered fabric of her shirt to get a look at her stomach, and a lump formed in his throat.

Her skin was black and blue and bleeding from the sheer force of the impact of getting hit... which was bad, really bad- but he can't say he hadn't expected it either, not with the amount of blood she just spent five minutes vomiting up.

Internal bleeding, the organs so beaten and put under such incredible stress... she was in very, very bad shape. Shape enough he was fairly sure she wouldn't last another night, maybe not even another few hours with the way he could hear her breathing getting, her skin paling.

... shit...

... One of her hands moved, her fingers curling weakly around his back and into the fabric of his shirt- her body stiffening against him as he breathing halted for a minute against the pain, before she let it back out again, wheezing.

"... t..ch... look...at you..." His eyes opened at the sound of her voice, her words broken apart as she struggled for and air tried her best not to wince. "... tryin..g... to... comfort... a com...plete... stranger..." Her body shook as she laughed, painfully, and ended up coughing a few times. Her hand holding to his shirt tightened a bit, her body curling in toward him a bit more as she fought to settle her breathing again, he sighed silently.

"... would you prefer I leave you alone..?" He asked dryly,

"... no... " Was the quick, almost uneasy answer, "... I... i just... i'm... sur...prised... you were ne..ver... this... qui...ck... to show... y...ou care... especially with... s...someone... new..." He blinked, his eyes narrowing at the words as he halted. "... I know... thou...gh... I said... i...it...even... wi...th that s...stony... exter...ior you p...ut up... you're... incredibly kind..."

He felt his heart skip a beat, his eyes widening as his world started to grind to a sudden halt, mind racing. She tilted her head, her blood stained hair fell on either side of her face, and for the first time her eyes moved up to meet his- her tired, hazy, exhausted... pale... blue... eyes...

No... no that...

.:+:.

Aizawa's shoulders hunched despite himself, his lips pulling into a thin line as he sat there beside her at that bar, the silence a a million times heavier now and rigid in his spot. Rigid and quiet and helpless to quell the sudden rush of memory and painful things he had tried so hard all these years to just... ignore. Forget...

He... He...

.:+:.

He wasn't breathing, he forgot how to as his mind slammed to a halt, he just stared, their eyes locked even as she clearly struggled to keep them open and on him, a thin trail of blood dripping anew from the edge of her mouth as her hot breath washed up into his face. His hold on her shoulder got a bit firmer without him meaning for it too- everything was spinning, his mind fighting with him, yelling, arguing- no...

n... no that... how could that possibly...?

"... it's b... been... a long time... Shota..." She breathed, breaking off at the end as her eyes snapped shut and broke away from his, her entire body going rigid against him.

Long time...?

It had been two years. Two years ago when she just... she dropped off the face of the planet, vanished- with no clue, no trace, no word and no one ever found anything. Not a single- one minute she and the next she... she didn't exist.

... He... he'd thought about it. He thought about it constantly those months after it, because why? Had the pressure of being found of for being DIN and not being Quirkless been too much? Did she run away from the constant tension? The weight of feeling so on edge before then? Had her Quirk finally put so much strain on her emotions that she cracked underneath it...?

She'd been scared, she'd been uneasy about the whole thing- she told him that, several times. He'd been able to see it, how jumpy she was, how paranoid- she hadn't hardly been sleeping, she'd been jumpy- but he didn't... he never ever believed she'd disappeared because she was running away from her mistakes. Not once.

He hadn't ever been able to imagine a world where she had run away, disappeared voluntarily... because she was scared and uneasy, but she had been willing to try. She told him the Teacher's had thought about moving her to the Hero Course, she told him he was right about using her Quirk for good... she had wanted to try, he could see it. She wanted to use her Quirk for something good, she was going to stay and work to do it- she wouldn't have just.. left...

He sucked in a shuddering breath, looking stricken and feeling like his world tipped out of nowhere- and why not?

How could he have ever, ever expected or even thought he'd find her again after two years? And she was here...?!

.:+:.

Disappeared... Twice.

Both times... Taken.

He grit his teeth, the ache in his chest sharpening again so much he almost flinched at it.

Why wouldn't... why won't they stop..?

I don't want to think about it again... shit

.:+:.

"... t..tch... I... I'm sorry... Shota..." His eyes snapped back down to her again, his throat suddenly, incredibly dry. "... y... you... shouldn't be... here... I...i'm... sorry... you...'re... he...re...and I..." His shoulders hunched despite himself, grimacing.

"Don't." He ordered sharply, his tone suddenly harsh as he fought to gain control of his... his emotions.

She coughed, and this time her whole body spasmed painfully, her hand releasing his shirt as she covered her mouth out of instinct. His hand fell from her shoulder to her back as she shook against him, uncaring of her blood that spattered against his clothes, his eyes glittering as he waited for the coughing to die down again- her already pale face growing paler, he could practically feel her ribs splintered and moving painfully under his hand.

"... s...orr...y..." Her voice was fading, and so was she.

"Hey, Izaru, try and stay awake." He ordered lowly, she never gave any indication of hearing him say it, her hand fell from her mouth and to the floor, the inside plastered in sticky crimson.

Panic hit him like a train... terror it's unwelcome, volatile conductor.

Don't say it

"... I... i...m... pre...tty s...sure... I...m... gonna... g... gon...na... die..."

.:+:.

He swallowed, his throat bone-dry, a shiver running down his spine. The words recanted in his thoughts and mind just as terrible as that day she'd said it... the realization that...

.:+:.

"Pain, triple."

He could hear Izaru's shallow breathing suddenly hitch, a sharp hiss escaping her throat, her body sliding across the concrete as she suddenly shifted- and then she started to yell, her voice cracking and fractured as Aizawa felt his own heart chip at the sheer agony in her voice. He struggled again to get himself out from being pinned, his arms aching as he got pushed further against the cement.

Every neuron and nerve in Izaru's body was ignited, pain racing through her like fire and shocking her out of her near-death slumber in the most cruel, blood-curdling way- her voice rang around everything, shrill and loud and Aizawa hissed, his blood boiling.

"Pain, nullify."

He heard her, heaving and sputtering as her screams died off in the course of an instant, he could hear the blood splatter against the floor as she coughed and threw it up, hear her fingers and palms slide roughly across the cement as she moved- dazed, panicked, unaware of what was happening- confused. The pain was gone, but that didn't make the shock or the trauma go away- it didn't make breathing easier, but she did take in deeper breaths without realizing how painful it really was, or damaging- she was just numb.

He could still hear Izaur's frantic, wheezing breaths behind him- the coos and calls of those Prisoners inclined to the violence following them out as he was lead through a world of black and closer to the rumble of a crowd looking to see blood spill.

His eyes found Izaru and his heart dropped again,

There was blood dripping passed her lips and nose in constant stream, her skin the color of a white sheet where not covered in bruising or blood- he body shaking more violently than before and almost enough to be breaking what bones had been cracked. Her breathing rapid and uneven, gasping and heaving and yet fully aware- for now... that asshole was right, even if her pain had been negated, she was still hurt, hurt to no end and this rush, the moving, the fighting- her heart was probably beating so fast it was apt to just fail.

Her eyes snapped toward him, red and bloodshot now as he saw the panic stretch across her face, her shoulders tensing- and he knew what it meant.

"Let the match begin!"

"Move!"

He knew

... Izaru was fading fast, her body slamming against the ground as she got thrown- and this time she didn't get up. Her body left a red smear behind her as she drew to a halt, her body shaking and shuddering, her eyes dull and with little to no light left in them.

His eyes snapped over toward where Izaru tried right get up, but her arms failed her and she just lay there.

And he knew-

He yelled, his back slamming into the wall as a kinetic blast went off in a wide area in front of him. His ears rung, his world spinning and his eyes snapping shut as he coughed.

This was so bad

He hissed, pushing himself back to his feet even though his body hated him for it.

All of it... Everything had just plummeted downhill, from bad to worse to...

... Deadly

... Time slowed down as he saw the air shimmer, felt the pressure rise, pale white shinning as Kine raised his hand in his direction- the Quirk already firing off a small, high-pitched, wailing blast that was headed straight for him.

Damn it... He still fucking knew-

His heart plummeted into his feet, his stomach knotted and doing a complete flip as he saw her suddenly there in front of him, their eyes locking for a brief, fleeting instant. She'd moved, rushed to step in front of him- she did it because she felt the bad coming, the bad and the danger and she knew it was in trouble- and she didn't hesitate.

He was frozen, his world suddenly tipping on its head and eyes wide as terror passed over his face, true, utter terror.

He saw the blood rise up around her, heard her skin, muscle and bone snap with a sickening, wet crunch as Kine's Quirk made contact with the center of her back, blasting a whole through her body with ease.

She was so quiet, she never made a sound- mercy or luck or whatever, she couldn't feel pain...

He stood there, riveted, and in that instant- he felt something in him just... Break.

He knew... He knew that there was no way Aneko Izaru would ever make it out of that hellhole alive.

He knew because she did... She knew she was going to die, and he knew she was right.

But he never knew it would happen like that

Never knew she would be gone... just like that... a second time... this time for good...

.:+:.

... but it wasn't for good.

But even the reality of how that came about, that was as terrible as losing her the first, and second time. He felt it- the ache, pain, guilt, regret, strain- all of it. His entire body was a knotted ball of too many emotions and feelings to count, and much more than he wanted or ever intended to feel again... but damn it, he couldn't stop it.

No amount of willpower or stubbornness, or whatever else was going to let him put a halt on all of it... all the things he had been avoiding and ignoring and trying to erase all these years.

"... I'm sorry... Shota... I'm sorry... For all of it... It... It wasn't fair... On you..." Izaru hissed beside him, her voice dropping ever lower and bordering something just short of a whisper. Her voice was shaking... and he was too, so faintly.

.:+:.

... whatever wound left that scar on her back- it damaged her lungs, badly. They didn't heal right, and put under enough stress or pain- they react. Like an allergic response, swelling up and tightening, lowering the amount of air she can take in and making it extremely difficult to breathe, which in turn makes her body react to it, sending her temperature up, panic setting in, the lack of oxygen enough to start affecting the rest of her if it gets bad enough... The amount of heat she was giving off isn't normal, she was starting to burn up...

... The way his core twisted in the next instant was enough to make him feel nauseous. And despite himself, a shiver ran up his spine and he hated it-

... She's been living like that....

... For ten years...

... Ten years since she...

... She's been living with not being able to breathe like that... She died... Dozens of times... and she was taken, put through hell... Forced, all these years... Losing her will... Her thoughts...

... Because...

... She jumped in front... Of... Me...

.:+:.

She died... For me

... She died for me... And she's suffered... Through so much since then... Alone

He couldn't breathe, not normally... It hurt, everything... Hurt.

Hurt worse than his arms being bent backwards by Nomu, having his face smashed into the floor- hurt more than Shiguraki dissolving the flesh and muscle on his elbow. It hurt worse than anything else he'd ever suffered... Everything, except that instant she had died. The instant she was gone

The one thing... One person, he'd ever let that close.

"... I... I'm sorry... It's... I know...r...rationally... I couldn't have... Changed it... Stopped... it... But... It wasn't fair..." Izaru hissed, her voice shaking badly enough now it was easy to hear it, and his eyes flashed at the words as he forced himself a silent breath... though it did him little good.

I know

"... it's not your fault Aneko... None of it was fair... On either of us." He murmured quietly, his voice low and almost... Husky.

... Shit...

He swallowed, hard, hoping it would help to get rid of the tightness in his throat and lungs... at least a little, before he kept on.

"... None of it should have happened... I wish I could change what did... There's several things that shouldn't have ever been allowed to happen... Things I should have done something about... But I didn't." He mumbled, his eyes glinting slightly as his hands wrung together, and almost too tightly. "... It was better to be there, even if it wasn't fair... I'd rather have been there, than to not have been at all..." He murmured lowly, "... I'd rather be there, and live with the memory of what happened... Than to have just let you fade from memory all the way... I'd rather have remembered you, and everything that happened, then to have let you disappear." He whispered, his eyes settled on his food. He hadn't the will to eat it now, and he doubted she did either, but he couldn't bring himself to look her way just then, so he let his eyes stay there.

"Remembering you, and knowing you, even with everything else, and what the memories feel like... I'd never choose to forget about all of the bad things and forget about you in the process. You deserve to be remembered... and... It won't make up for any of it... But never letting myself forget you, is a start at least... And is the least I can manage, after everything."

And the promise was a bit hypocritical to make now, after he had spent so long trying to forget her... With little luck, maybe- but he regretted that he had tried. And now he wouldn't ever let himself forget, so it was as much a promise to her as it was to himself.

He finally glanced toward her, his eyes glittering and his heart twisting painfully when he saw the flecks of moisture falling from her face and into her lap. She had her hands hooked behind her neck now, and was staring pointedly at the counter and not at him, just... Crying in silence.

Silent tears

"... T...tch... You... Ass..." She hissed, her voice so quiet and shaky as she shook her head a bit. "... That's... that's twice now... You've made me cry... How... rude..."

Aizawa let out a small breath, his eyes breaking away from her again and landing on the table. "... I don't find it all that rude..." He replied easily, his hand moving to brush his hair back behind his ear a bit and sighing as his posture wilted a little. "... especially not when you've done the same to me, more than a few times..." he added softly, almost as an afterthought. He blinked though, his hand pausing in midair as he felt her stiffen beside him. Her hands suddenly fell from her neck, her head and eyes snapping up and toward him in about a second flat- so fast the movement caught him off guard.

He turned to look at her, his eyes widening as she stared at him, those silent tears dripping from her eyes and down her cheeks faster now, her grey gaze glittering more than ever as she grimaced, swallowing hard as she sucked in a sharp breath of air, trembling.

What did he just... Say...?

He's... Cried... Because of... Me...?

... S... Shota...

She swallowed again, her face twisting even further as she held her breath, and her throat, lungs and heart burned.

Why did that hurt so much, hearing that...?

She knew why. Unlike everything else she got it, instantly... It was pain, regret......Guilt.

She sniffed, her lips pulling in a tighter line but so quiet still. Her tears fell faster still and his expression softened at it,

"... I'm... I'm sorry..." She stammered shakily, her voice nearly choked, and he shook his head.

"... It's alright... it's okay to cry." He told her softly, and her eyes flashed as his hand lift, falling lightly on top of her head, and gently messing up her hair.

.:+:.

Izaru's body shook as she took in a shaky breath of air, trying to calm herself down but it was honestly doing little good- he knew that.

He'd never seen her cry, and he couldn't honestly say he wanted to either... especially not when he was the one to spur this conversation.

He wasn't really the most comfortable with dealing with people, he kept to himself as much as he possibly could and he'd had little reason ever to be around someone who was in front of him and sobbing... and sobbing because of so many awful things. He wasn't even sure why she was dumping so much on him all at once, it was like she couldn't stop herself... and maybe she just needed to tell someone? He couldn't imagine she had told this to anyone else in UA lightly, not even the Teachers...

He honestly wasn't sure what to do, was he supposed to garner a reply? What reply? What could he honestly say to her to try and make her feel better?

He swallowed slightly, hesitating a moment, before he moved a little closer and his hand fell softly on top of her head. She stiffened a little under the contact, and he sweatdropped.

"... you won't end up like that." He told her quietly, "... Even though it's clearly been hard for you to keep yourself together, you've done it. Your Quirk may keep you constantly on edge, but the bad things you feel with your Quirk don't define you as a person. If they did, you wouldn't be here, and you wouldn't be making friends with anyone... let alone going out of your way to help people, whether it's warning them or simply offering a hand in school, or rushing in to push someone out of the way of a falling object." Her shaking shoulders stilled as she lift her head a bit, their eyes matching as his hand remained on top of her head a little while longer.

.:+:.

Her eyes dropped closed, her shoulders hunching a little more but her tears slowed up slightly, and he let his hand stay there on top of her head as she tried to calm down.

He was better handling people nowadays- he had to be, to be a teacher... But it usually made him nervous still to see people break down in front of him. He had learned what worked best at times like these, and even if he wasn't the most compassionate, nor gentlest person around, he did know what he needed to do now. He'd realized a long time ago that sometimes being kind was needed, as was simple contact and tenderness... It was a lesson he'd started to learn for the first time back then, with her.

And even if he only let the 'caring' side of him be seen by other people on the rarest of occasions, and was uneasy at the prospect of letting that happen... He wasn't so uneasy about being that way right now.

He let out a small breath, mussing up her hair a bit more as he tilted his head, watching quietly as Izaru moved her hands up to rub at her face. She grumbled as she did so and sniffed again, doing her best to get rid of the tears- which did manage to halt nearly all the way.

"... Are you alright?" He asked softly, she sniffed again, before letting out a low sigh and nodding, just a little.

"... I... Think so... Maybe..." She mumbled, her hand halting over her mouth and brushing just under her nose as she glanced at him for half a second. "... Thank you... Shota... for... everything... all of that..." she mumbled quietly, her voice just shy of a whisper.

He nodded, his hand shifting from the top of her head and down to her shoulder, staying there for a few seconds before he pulled away entirely. Izaru looked away from him again and drew the back of her hand across her cheek, frowning as she tried to rid the rest of the moisture from her cheeks. Aizawa straightened up a bit and took in a deep breath, his eyes falling closed again as she did so.

"Eat your food before it gets cold." He ordered gently, not waiting for an answer as he busied himself with pulling his hair back and running his fingers through it- and because he was doing that, he never saw the small nod she gave him in turn to the order.

Izaru's hands moved up to grab hold of the chopsticks, pulling the bowl closer to her and quiet as she stirred the broth a few times, before starting to pick up a few. Her eyes slowly shift sideways toward Aizawa as she bit down on the section of noodles, pausing for a moment as she watched his hands work, his fingers bundling up his hair in silence as he pulled the long dark locks back into a small, casual little bun without a word. Once he was done, his eyes fell on his own food, never taking note of how she had halted, a line of noodles hanging from her mouth and grey eyes completely fixed on him, intent.

He started into his food too, picking up his chopsticks and collecting a bite on the end- before halting halfway through, his eyes trailing sideways toward Izaru once he finally registered her looking his way from the corner of his eye.

"... what?" He grumbled without turning his head to look at her all the way. Izaru jumped slightly, quickly averting her eyes and finishing the bite of food she'd started, chewing and swallowing it.

"... sorry... I... I've just never seen you put your hair up... it was never this long, back in school..." She admitted quietly with a tip of her head in his direction, though her eyes stayed away and he quirked a brow. Izaru strung a few more noodles between her chopsticks, her gaze focused on her food and not on him as she paused midway through, her face flushing faintly in embarrassment. "... I wasn't trying to stare... ah... it looks good on you, though..." She added softly, before taking another bite and chewing in slightly rigid silence

Aizawa stiffened, his eyes widening at the words as he felt his heart... why did it feel like it fluttered? What the hell...?

He looked away, grumbling inwardly to himself and not saying anything in return to the comment. He just focused on eating and Izaru seemed content to do that too... and thankfully now, things seemed a little less tense. Though only just.

Izaru finished the bulk of her food before she finally slowed down in her eating, aware Aizawa was still not quite done with his meal. And she let him continue to eat in silence, her eyes settled on the broth in her own bowl the whole while.

She sat there like that until his bowl was all but completely empty, and he finally set his chopsticks down on the rim. Her eyes flicked toward the movement for but a moment, before she bit the inside of her cheek and looked away again, her hands folding in her lap.

"... Shota." She murmured quietly,

"Hmm?"

"... thank you... for asking the Principal to consider letting me stay at UA."

Aizawa stiffened, his heart jumping at the words and the statement- he turned his head toward her quickly in surprise, and Izaru seemed to sense it had, though she only nodded a bit and kept her eyes on the bowl in front of her.

"... I pieced it together. I thought it a little weird, that he or the Police would ever have even considered letting me come to UA... there wasn't a reason I could come up with, for how the idea even got suggested to start with. " She told him quietly, "... But after Recovery Girl already knew what was going on, when we met at the Hospital... when she knew Hizashi was going to come visit me, and how she knew... because you had told her... and why, she was already set to talk the whole situation over with Nezu after she left the hospital... I realized that you must have already brought it up to him, and suggested that UA take custody of me. You'd suggested it long before everyone else even considered what to do with me, right? Even started to talk it over with... Keitaro... huh?" She murmured softly, and his lips pulled into a tight line. He didn't say anything in reply, and Izaru nodded once more- as if the silence was all the answer she needed.

"... I guess I do know you, at least a little still." She mumbled half to herself, "... But thank you... Really... I think being here, and around everyone else... Will be better, in the long run..." Aizawa looked away and only nodded, stiffly.

Of course she figured it out, though he had hoped maybe she hadn't. Stupid maybe, but he'd been pretty set on avoiding the subject of how talk to let her come to UA had started up... it hadn't seemed important how it started, only that it did- and in the end did it matter it was him that came up with the idea?

Rationally he didn't think it did matter, though he probably betrayed that when he decided to keep it to himself... Because to be entirely honest, the reason he'd suggested UA take custody of her at all?

It wasn't rational-

"... can I ask you a question, Shota...?" Izaru mumbled after another few moments of quiet and breaking his thoughts off. He paused, the question taking a moment to register in his mind, before he sighed internally at it.

"I already told you you could." He murmured,

"... I know, but... this is an... unpleasant question." Izaru mumbled, and he stiffened a little, imperceptibly so. "... but... after the Pit, and after Kine... you know... and how... everyone took it... me... dying... it's been so long since then... but..." She started slowly, and he narrowed his eyes. "... Do you think... me and Nemuri, Hizashi, and Tosh... All Might... and you too... even after all of it... do you think... even with what happened... and what I've done... and how much... it hurt..." She swallowed a bit, her eyes flashing as she blinked a few times against the stinging sensation rising in her eyes. She took in a breath and shook her head at herself, agitation flaring dimly in her center as she found herself struggling to string the words together and get the point across... struggling to just voice her own thoughts, just like yesterday with Bakugou- shit.

She shook her head again, a bit harder this time. She bit back the agitation, and the unease, and the ache in her heart and her soul and she swallowed again, pausing for a few moments to try and just let her mind and her mouth find some semblance of functionality. Enough so she asked what she meant to, even if she was finding it harder than anything, just to do that one simple thing.

"... I... do you... tch... do you think... are we still friends...?" She asked quietly, her voice trembling a little as she managed to stagger through it, though only just. Aizawa blinked, his eyes widening slightly at the entirely unexpected question, and how hard it had seemed for her to ask it at all. "... it's just... I know... it wasn't... it sucked, what happened... I know it hurt all of you... hurt you, because you were there... but it hurt them too... finding out about it... knowing that I was gone... and I get that... I understand that... but... Hizashi brought it up when he came to visit me... he asked me that... 'are we still friends?'... and... I don't even know if I know what 'friend' means anymore, and... I didn't really feel anything when he asked it... it has been ten years... I know you guys have grown up... changed too... I've changed... and he knew that... but... he still asked, he said he still wanted to be friends." She sighed a little, shaking her head at herself as she shifted, leaning her elbows on the counter and pressing her chin into her folded together hands.

"... he was so worked up... and he looked ready to fall apart... but even though I didn't really feel anything, or even get it... I told him yes... not because it was an honest answer, but because I thought it was what he needed to hear... but I don't know what the honest answer even is... or what I want it to be... this is a little stupid... but... I'm wondering if it's even right to think we could be... after what having me die put you all through... or even after all the crap I've done, regardless if it was Simon's fault or not..." She bit the inside of her cheek, "So... I guess since... I don't really know the answer myself... do you think... being friends with all of you... is okay...? And... are we... still...? Honestly...?"

She sounded so incredibly insecure... so lost... so... damn it.

Why did he hate the way her voice trembled there? Why did the question make his stomach churn, but made him a little annoyed all at once?

"Yes." Was the low, unflinching, and near immediate reply she earned from him and she blinked, her eyes widening as she quickly glanced his way, a little taken aback. And he just met her eyes steadily, every part of his expression calm and so utterly sure. "None of us blame you for what has happened, Aneko. And none of what any of us felt or experienced changes how we feel about you. I realize it's likely not altogether fair for me to speak on everyone else's behalf, but I'm almost entirely certain their answer is the same as mine." Aizawa murmured, "The situation is difficult, and a lot of time has passed- but I never stopped considering us as friends, regardless of everything. Hizashi would never stop seeing you that way either, nor Nemuri... And even with what I saw, or what All Might saw back at the Pit, or how we felt about it. We are still your friends, and it isn't 'wrong' or 'not okay' either. You have done nothing, nor put us through anything, that would make being friends with you impossible, I can assure you of that."

Izaru blinked, swallowing slightly as her eyes shone a bit. She looked taken aback, even a little shocked at his answer still, and it became clearer and clearer to see as he kept talking. But he swore he saw something softer appear somewhere deep in those dull grey eyes too, something like... Relief maybe.

"... thank you..." she murmured, her voice tense and trembling... But not unhappy, not neutral either... She did sound relieved- but it was only there for a second or two more before she stiffened, her mind settling on one thing in particular and she paused, her eyes narrowing at him. "...wait... Did you just... All Might was at... The Pit too...?" She asked slowly, her words barely above a whisper as he stiffened, a little surprised now at the question- she didn't remember...?

He thought that for a few seconds, before he realized maybe it wasn't a surprise she didn't. At that point, by the time All Might appeared, she had been fighting so long, her heart struggling to keep her going, her strength nearly gone... Those last few minutes before she'd jumped in front of him must have been such a huge blur, and even then- All Might had arrived at nearly the exact same second she had gotten... Killed.

He swallowed, nodding a bit stiffly. "... He arrived just before Kine killed... You." Aizawa murmured quietly, his voice dropping at the word 'killed' despite himself, and Izaru's eyes widened, glittering. Aizawa's hand lift to rub the back of his neck tensely, "... He saw what happened, and he's the one who subdued Kine in the end... He did take you to the ambulance, though at that point..." He trailed off and Izaru went rigid, her eyes moving away as she seemed to bite the inside of her cheek. He saw her hands tighten around one another, her eyes dropping nearly all the way closed as he heard her let out a low, nearly silent little growl.

"... Tch... Damn... It..." she muttered it so lowly he barely heard it, his eyes flashing.

Why did she...?

He didn't quite understand what emotion it was that flared inside her in that instant, but she did. It was one of the few times she did know what the feeling was, and it was one of the most persistent. Guilt.

She knew that Hizashi and Nemuri had been hit hard by the finding out she had died, and she knew it would have hit Shota harder, the hardest- because he was there and he saw it, he lived it... And she hated herself for putting him through that... But now?

All Might lived it too, he saw it- and no, not as much as Shota had, and maybe not even anything as painful... But now... Maybe he had, at least in some way. He saw it happen, and he tried to get her to the ambulance, carried her there even though she was already dead... Shit.

She felt guilty. So, so guilty about all of it... But she felt worse about it with Shota... And now she felt worse about it with Toshinori too.

I thought Shota was the one I really... hurt that much... But... Toshinori...

...Damn it... Damn all of this... What did I do...?

... I... I don't know if... I could ever... Make up for any of it... Or even... Fix... Anything...

Fuck... Me...

She swallowed, hard- her shoulders hunching as she took in a breath of air and held it.

What am I... Supposed to do...?

All of them... I've hurt them... so badly... So terribly... All of them, in some way...

Are we still friends?

He said... Yes... But how can he... After all of this...?

How can he... Say that...? That it was better to be there, and remember it all... And mean it... After having to sit there with me...? Wait and just... Watch me die...?

... He's being so sincere with everything he's been saying... It wouldn't be like him to say things that were only meant to make me feel better... So... I know... He means what he says... But...

I know he... I know that was painful... Terrible... He... He said he'd cried... Because of me... Shota cried... Him... Of all people...

... Fucking... I have... Royally... Fucked up... Hurt... So many people...

... What do I... Do...?

Izaru swallowed back at the way her throat had tightened so suddenly, letting out the breath she had been holding in and biting both cheeks, hard.

... I don't know... If there's anything I... Can do...

Aizawa blinked, his eyes narrowing at her as she sat there in silence beside him for a few long minutes, and he didn't dare pester her. He simply watched her, trying to see if he could figure out what she was feeling, or where her head had gone too. She seemed more tense now, fading into her thoughts like she had the day before... And he just didn't know.

Her shoulders relaxed after a little, her eyes opening again to settle on the counter. He blinked, his head tilting as he looked her up and down and still drew a blank on that question- what was she thinking just then?

He really never knew. Not ever, not even back in school, and certainly not now.

"... Why did you become a teacher, Shota...?" Was the soft question she asked next, and with it brought a complete shift in subject- so much so that for a few seconds he faltered. "... Nemuri and Hizashi aren't much a surprise to me for wanting to be teachers... But I don't imagine you'd ever considered doing, at least not on your own... Not that you wouldn't be good at it... Since you do, in your own way... Really care about people... And I know you care about your students too... But what prompted you to join UA...?" She asked, and he sweatdropped a bit, his eyes narrowing further and just trying for a moment to understand why she was asking... Was it just her being curious? Or did it have something to do with why she had fallen so silent all of a sudden?

He still didn't know, and he sighed at the thought.

"... Nemuri convinced me." He mumbled in reply, "I had been working as a Pro for a little while, and I ran into her again without expecting to... She told me she planned to join UA and suggested I give it a try too. And I suppose... I figured why not?" He shook his head a bit. "I wasn't entirely thrilled with the idea to begin with, but once I started... It wasn't as annoying a job as I expected. It was tolerable, so I just stayed."

Izaru cast him a small, silent glance from the side- and he caught her eye. There was nothing about her, nor her expression that gave indication to what she was thinking, but even so he still got the distinct feeling that she didn't think his explanation just then was all there was to it... And maybe it wasn't. It might be a lie to say he didn't enjoy being a teacher, at least some of the time. It had grown on him, even if he still remained strict with his students, and a bit rough around the edges toward them.

What he did with and around those students though, he did with the intention of preparing them, getting the best out of them, and shaping them into the best they could be. He didn't lightly pull punches nor opinion, he was open about their flaws and not afraid to exploit them to teach a lesson- even if it made him out to be a hardass, and maybe even a bit unlikable. He was harsh, and he was strict, and he rationalized that there was a reason for it. Life wasn't fair and he wasn't planning to coddle anyone from what life really looked like, or what the real world would have in store for them... And some of it was him trying to prepare them, at least in some way, and a bit subtly- the lesson he had learned the hard way.

Be aware, be prepared, and know that real life is hell. Being a Pro meant putting your life on the line, possibly losing it- and it also meant you were going to the one smack dab in the middle of some catastrophe some day, maybe several. Murder, or a natural disaster, mayhem or just true, sheer, ugly human nature... Being a Pro meant you were going to see the worst of what the world and humanity had to offer. People would be in danger, people were going to die- and it was up to the Pros to stand tall in the middle of pandemonium and do everything they could, to never waver, never hesitate- to stay strong.

Pros were always in the middle of chaos like that, it was inevitable, the kids had to know that, be prepared to handle whatever may come. He wanted his students strong, and tough, ready to handle the pain and the suffering they were all bound to see and feel... All that suffering he'd gone through, and he hadn't been ready for. At all.

And he had more than likely experience more than his fair share of pain and despair, but it didn't matter. He still had to try and make sure those kids didn't go through any of the shit he had to.

He was harsh because he had to be- the world, villains, karma, whatever the hell it was- everything they faced outside of UA as full-fledged Pros was going to be real... Harsh and painful and awful, and he wanted them to be prepared for it. He pushed them hard now, but still made sure not to break them- hoping that it was enough. Enough they were better prepared to face hell when they left school, better prepared than he had been... And prepared enough, capable enough- that none of them would ever, ever- find themselves in the same situation that Izaru had... Gone or taken or killed or used.

He didn't want to see any of them thrown into the same hell Aneko had been, ever. He never had, even before now knowing about Simon, her being used as a Villain for Hire, being forced back to life over and over... All of that just made his convictions all the stronger.

And he honestly would not be surprised if Aneko had pieced together on her own some part of all of that (or even most of it), as being an underlying reason why. Why he had done what even he would never have seen himself doing to start with- being a teacher. She was too smart, and too perceptive not to have thought some of those same things.

But if she did, she never said anything.

"... Do you know... How did my dad take it...? Me being..." She started next, changing the subject again.

"... It would be a lie to say he wasn't... Hurt, about all of it." Aizawa mumbled, "... He was worried about you, while you were just missing. And realizing what happened, where you were, how close it came, to having you out of that place..." He swallowed a bit, a heavy weight falling into the depths of his stomach.

One day ahead of time and maybe- maybe he would have been there in time to save her, get her out that hellhole alive. He had thought that so many times, and hated himself that it hadn't happened. It nagged and throbbed and stung and never went away. One day earlier, and none of it would have happened... She could have lived, and gone home, had a life. She wouldn't have been taken by Simon, or gone through what came after... He shook his head at himself and cast the thoughts off.

"... I don't think the pain ever went away, or even the wondering... 'What if'... But he... He did seem to take it well enough to bear it." Aizawa went on, his voice quiet. "... He stayed in touch with me for awhile, and it took time... But eventually he was better. He missed you, and hated what happened, but he found a way to live with it, and still keep on." He told her, though his voice faded, and he quickly fell silent as his thoughts inevitably wandered away toward some path he had been trying so hard, and for so long, not to go down. And he couldn't stop himself this time, though he did try.

.:+:.

"... Honestly, Aizawa... I'm so thankful you were there with her."

Aizawa felt himself go stiff as a board, his heart skipping a beat at the utterly unexpected words.

His eyes had been trained on the floor in what was now a near awkward habit, but his gaze snapped up instantly at the quiet words from the older man, and those that were spoken so softly and gently. His eyes found achingly familiar blue ones, the other man's face worn and tired, but smiling slightly at him regardless, and so sadly.

"That is incredibly unfair of me to say, or think, since I know what being there did to you, and what it must have felt like- even if you are intent on pushing it away... But I truly am thankful you were there." Hideki murmured quietly, his hands hooked lightly around the coffee on the table in front of him. The both of he and Aizawa were sitting in near silence at a table in a quiet, not at all busy coffee shop, Shota's own coffee entirely untouched in front of him.

He'd agreed to meet up with the older man despite not wanting to, and had honestly been dreading the whole thing. He'd had to swallow back at the ache of pain and terribly sickening sensation that settled into his core since agreeing about a thousand times since, and still had to all the way here. Even now Aizawa was still struggling to bit back at that nauseous feeling as they sat at the table together, and it got instantly worse as the elder man began to talk- hell, he could hardly meet his eyes... they looked too much like hers.

"... I know it was unpleasant for you, Aizawa... And I know it hurt." Hideki murmured softly, not pausing in his words even though he could practically see the way Aizawa had paled. "... And I wouldn't wish that on anyone, having to be there when someone you know is so hurt, and slipping away... I know the feeling all too well." Hideki sighed, his eyes flashing. "... Aneko told you about her mother, right?" The man asked, and Aizawa stiffened a bit more, swallowing. Hideki took the silence as answer and nodded slightly, his blue eyes falling to his coffee cup.

"... I knew Keina was slipping further and further away from me, for a very long while before she was gone... She was such a bright person, so kind and gentle... but she faded into herself, lost her will to smile, or be kind, or even be around anyone, let alone me. I tried to get through to her, assure her things would be alright, that she could manage a way to live with her Quirk... But she was such a timid and fragile person, she didn't have the same unending will that Aneko did. She didn't have the same conviction, or strength, and I knew that. I tried... But she wasted away right in front of me, losing what light she once had, and her will to fight and to live... I saw her slowly teetering further and further into some dark, cold, painful place for months- and no amount of trying, or words, or kindness could pull her out again... And then she was just gone, I lost her." Hideki sighed, his voice dropping as he shook his head, just once. "... She didn't have it in her to live with so much dread and pain consuming her world, or even be around anyone, not when she knew that they were in trouble... She didn't have enough willpower to even to be around me, or her own daughter in the end..."

"... I know what that feels like, seeing someone fade away... Feeling it, when it happens... But even still... I'm glad to know Aneko wasn't alone." The older man murmured softly, Aizawa watching him in tense silence and utterly rigid. "She and Keina... I saw some much of her in Aneko, the same kindness, the same light... But Keina didn't have the same will Aneko always did. Keina withered away and cracked under that Quirk, endlessly... With every feeling, every warning, every indication of danger- every time it took another piece from Keina, until there wasn't anything left... But Aneko..." Hideki broke off for a moment, his hold on his coffee cup tightening. "... Aneko... She never cracked underneath it all, it never chipped pieces off of her. That Quirk never found a way to break her, not even the slightest bit... It never drove her away from people or from living, never drove her to shutting down or falling in on herself completely... She hated that Quirk just as much as Keina did, but she wanted to make something good of it... She had the will and the strength to try, and do it even... Aneko really could have lived and made good of that Quirk, where I doubt anyone else ever could."

Aizawa felt his stomach knot so many times he wanted to throw up, and all he could do to stop it from happening was hold his breath- though his lungs burned when he did.

"... She was so stubborn, and driven... But she still had her low points, and sometimes it did get so hard for her... Enough I could see it, and I worried she might break after all... but she always came back around, somehow... Still pushed through even when it was so difficult to, and she was so unsure of herself... She acted tough, and she really was tough as nails... But even she needed someone, sometime, to just lean on- and usually it was me..." Hideki smiled a bit, his eyes dropping closed. "... but she pulled away from me, when 'Danger Is Near' started taking heat... and for it, she stopped being so tough, and calm, and confident... I wasn't really sure what it was that was keeping her going at that point... Not until that last week, before she went missing."

Aizawa blinked, a cold sweat falling down his spine as Hideki glanced his way again and their eyes locked.

"She talked a lot about everyone she met at UA- about who she helped, what projects she lent a hand on, who should was closest with... She told me about school less leading up to the problems with DIN, and then not at all... But in that last week, I figured out who it was she ended up turning to instead of me, and opening up to... Heh... Ranting to." Hideki murmured, Aizawa's eyes widened a little. "She'd mentioned you several times before then, you know. Especially about how she was sure you'd caught on to the Quirkless ruse... And then that last week came around, and she came clean about DIN, and to the school. She was so worked up and on edge every single day, but she always came home from school less so- because she'd been talking with you." Hideki hummed lightly, "It would take no small amount of trust on her part to have ever even admitted to you she had a Quirk, let alone let herself be open with you about anything. And it would have taken a lot more trust for her to even just break away from being so polite and positive... I'm sure you noticed she was quite a bit different around you when the two of you were alone, than she was around everyone else, right? Less formal, more genuine?"

Aizawa stiffened a bit more, his eyes flashing at the words- the very true words. He had noticed that, the difference in demeanor when they were alone, the way she fell into cursing, letting her annoyance show- dropping out of the placid, pleasant and even forced normality she had adopted and put on... the forced and fake smiles.

"She never really wasn't a kind person, or caring- that part was genuine. But she had a habit of holding herself back, and making sure she came off as nothing but friendly and polite- even if it meant hiding her annoyance, or anger, or anything else she might actually be feeling. She hid the parts of herself that didn't fit in with the friendly persona, so her unease, her tenseness, and even her stubborness weren't easy to see, or even realize they existed... But she didn't hide with you, not all the time, hmm?" Hideki asked, though it seemed more rhetorical than anything. His eyes softened as Aizawa seemed to grimace, though he was trying his hardest not to let his expression change or betray the absolute turmoil swirling inside of him just then.

"... She really liked you, Aizawa. She trusted you, and felt at ease with you... You were such a good friend to her, that's why she opened up with you... And that's why I'm thankful she had someone familiar, and someone she cared for and trusted like that when she was at such a low point... When she was in so much pain." Hideki told him softly, his eyes glittering as Aizawa felt his throat tighten, and run suddenly dry. The words felt like a dozen swords thrust straight through him, but he couldn't force himself to look away from those achingly familiar blue eyes.

"I'm so grateful to you, for being with her through that... And I understand why she would sacrifice herself for you. You meant a great deal to her, you are a good man, and she knew you were more than worth dying for."

.:+:.

Aizawa went quiet for a few long moments as the memory flooded in, no matter how hard he tried to stave it off. And as it faded again, there was now a stinging sensation in his eyes that he absolutely hated, and he shut them quickly to stop it- letting out a long, low breath to try and steady himself.

"... He was proud of you, after he realized what you'd been doing, fighting in the place of other people at the Pit... Even if it hurt, he knew you were trying to save them." Aizawa told her quietly, "... We didn't talk much, the last few years before he died... But he seemed content." He added softly, and Izaru seemed to swallow at it. He paused, letting out another breath before continuing. "... Hizashi kept in touch with him more than I did, though... If you want to know more about what your father did those years, you should ask him." Aizawa added, glancing her way now that the stinging sensation in his eyes died, though his stomach still seemed apt to remain knotted. Izaru nodded a bit, though she didn't look at him.

"... I didn't save hardly anyone you know... All of those people I fought in place of... They all ended up dead regardless... Whether from wounds or getting sick... Or... I just couldn't fight every time, even when I knew..." Izaru mumbled quietly, he grimaced a little. "... So much of it... Didn't make a difference..."

"... One person, or many, the number doesn't matter. What matters is you tried, and you did save some of them... Several actually, when it all came to a close. All of it what you did made a difference, even if you lost some of them in the end. The people you did save all have an impact on the world by just being alive. Don't think none of it mattered, because all of it did, in some way or another- regardless if they survived or not." He told her, "You were just as much a Hero to those people, as the Pros were when they managed to storm the operation. You made a difference, don't think you didn't."

Izaru let out a silent breath, her chin still pressed against her hands and eyes on the table instead of him. She didn't answer him, or garner a reply for what he said... because honestly she couldn't. She wasn't sure she believed him, or wanted to, not right then, and maybe not ever. She didn't know if she could.

... 'Hero'...

She let out a low sigh and shook her head, deciding it was better to drop it altogether.

"... Where did this come from?" She asked next, her eyes finally shifting over toward him and her hands unwinding as she tapped a finger lightly against her cheek under her right eye- a mock representative of where he had a scar running under his. He blinked, pausing a moment before shrugging a little.

"Thirteen mentioned it to you, about the Attack on the USJ." He murmured, "I was fighting with a Nomu, after confronting Shiguraki..." Her eyes widened a little, and he trailed off for a second, grimacing slightly to himself at the thought- and what unpleasant ghost of a sensation appeared in his arms and his elbow. "... It didn't go very well. I was outnumbered and outmatched with it's strength and speed... There was a point Recovery Girl was worried my injuries would affect my Quirk, but I got off lucky and only earned a few scars." He grumbled,

Well, that and his Quirk was more unstable now, and didn't last as long as it used to- but that part wasn't important.

Izaru eyes dropped a minute after nodding to his explanation, her hand moving up to rub the back of her neck as she let out a small sigh. His eyes narrowed at the action, wondering for a moment if it was her Tell or if she was just tense all on her own, without her Quirk.

"... There isn't much else I'm burning to ask, Shota... But..." She started slowly, her eyes trailing back toward him almost tentatively. "... Maybe... Can we just... Talk...? Like... About some of the bigger things that have gone on over the last ten years... With you...?" She asked softly, fidgeting faintly in uncertainty. "... Just talk... Like we used to, maybe...? Kind of normally...? You can ask your questions too if you want, Shota... And I'll try and answer them if you do..." She added even more quietly, "... I just think... If I'm ever going to get the point of... Knowing what I feel... Or even being sort of normal... Talking with you used to be normal for me... So..." She trailed off, biting the inside of her cheek and looking quite unsure of herself and what she was asking.

Aizawa's expression softened, his eyes flashing a bit as he nodded, and the uncertainty that had appeared in her seemed to fade a little at his agreement. And of course he agreed, he'd said they needed to talk after all, and that had been the whole reason he'd brought them here in the first place. Though the fact that she had had to ask to do so, almost like she wasn't sure if it was 'okay'- that did make the knot in his stomach a little worse.

So he started to talk, slowly and about unimportant things to start- and he didn't ask what he meant to, not then. He had a million questions, and a million more things he needed to understand- but they'd already talked about a number of things that made them both uncomfortable, and most of what else he wanted to know fell into that category. So he wouldn't press any further on those, not tonight. After everything they'd already talked about, she could use a little 'normal', and he probably could too.

And somehow, just talking? About the little things, about the some of the more consequential developments, the interesting things, even the more boring things... Just talking was nice.

He did most of the talking, while she just listened- but it wasn't a surprise, nor did he really mind. And Izaru seemed to relax as he talked, and so did he. He didn't usually talk to people just to chat, he never had- but with her, he enjoyed it. He realized he always had, for some reason. It was nostalgic, familiar, and 'normal'... But most of all, somehow- it was content.

He talked for a few hours about his life the last ten years (avoiding all things that would be unpleasant or he hadn't the heart to touch...) and she listened to every word, asking things here and there, and entirely interested in every shred of it. Their talking dulled down all the way to a comfortable silence as they left the restaurant behind and began to head back up to the school, walking side by side through the dark streets and toward the quiet of UA's grounds.

What tension there had been hanging over them all for days seemed to have almost been cut in half- and in just one sitting. It was more than he could have anticipated, or hoped for, if he were to be honest. Perhaps this was one of those few times it had been worth it to let his emotions win out over rationality... for once, patience be damned actually ended with something better.

About halfway up to the main gate a cold drop of water hit his nose and he stiffened at it, his eyes narrowing up at the dark, cloud covered sky just as the rain began to fall, and quickly got heavier. Izaru beside him blinked at the moisture and let out a small sigh,

"... of course..." She grumbled under her breath, he grimaced at it himself.

"Come on." He murmured, picking up the pace a bit as the rain got slowly heavier- and their movement got quicker because of it. Eventually they were jogging through the rain and back toward the Staff Dorms, both of them quickly getting soaked (neither of them had anticipated rain, and mind you- they hadn't really paused from Training ending and leaving either...).

Aizawa didn't mind rain, nor getting wet, but he wanted to spend as little time in it regardless- because he was sure Izaru could do without spending any lengthy amount of time being drenched.

They both slowed up as they made it back to the Staff Dorms, the rain a steady drone as they paused just after passing through the front doors, breathing a bit elevated from the running and both of them dripping water on to the floor. Both Aizawa and Izaru's hair shimmered under the fluorescent lights overhead, completely soaked through and sticking (annoyingly) to their faces in watery tendrils.

Izaru let out a grumble beside him, and he sighed to himself, his eyes cracking open and moving toward her as she bundled her hair up and pulled it into a messy bun. She shrugged her jacket off and shook off as much of the water as she could, turning slightly from him as she did so- so as not to get him anymore wet as she shook the jacket off. Her shirt wasn't as soaked as the jacket, but it was damp, the pale blue it was meant to be, now suddenly dark grey.

Aizawa froze though, his eyes finding her back and the bare skin that could be seen through the low cut neckline- it hung from her shoulders loosely, and far down enough he could see the marred, twisted scar stretching across her back between her shoulder-blades. It was a little to the right and a bit off center- one large scar about the size of his hand, surrounded all along the edges by smaller, flecks and peppering of smaller scars... But it was the same, large, gaping wound that he'd seen when it was made, bloody and-

-that... That was the first time he had seen what scar had been left behind, from when she had jumped in front of him. The wound that she had earned when she saved him, and the same one that had... Killed her...

His stomach flipped so violently upon seeing it, he had to swallow hard to suppress the nauseating feeling that slammed into him. His hands clenched tightly as his sides as his throat seemed to tighten with them, completely frozen in place as his gaze remained locked to it. He only ever looked away as his eyeline got broken when she turned to him again, tying her coat around her waist after shaking the water off the rest of the way.

Izaru blinked, her grey eyes narrowing at him as they faced one another. He saw faint flashes of confusion ignite in her expression and he cursed himself silently, hating the way he'd reacted and that it was at all noticeable, and he quickly did his best to get rid of any outward indicator of... That.

"... Are you alright...?" Izaru asked slowly, her head tilting a little and eyes searching. He nodded stiffly, averting his eyes from her entirely,

"I'm fine." He muttered, and it came out a bit more gruff than he liked, but he couldn't help it. Izaru blinked at him, the question getting clearer on her otherwise barren face.

... What the... He just...?

A cold drop of water fell from her hair and trailed down her back, sending shivers up her spine as her eyes glittered and her thoughts quickly clicked together.

... Was it... That...?

She bit the inside of both cheeks, her eyes dropping from him and her stomach twisting.

Aizawa turned to start further inside the building with little a word, his shoulders hunched slightly and expression unreadable and yet so worn, though he seemed determined now not to meet her eyes. Izaru jumped as he started to move, stepping after him quickly as her left hand shot out and grabbed hold of his right wrist. He stopped immediately, instantly tense under the unexpected contact.

He meant to turn his head to glance over his shoulder at her, but never moved even an inch- he went absolutely rigid at the sound of her feet over the floor, Izaru bringing herself closer and right up behind him. Her other hand found the bottom of his shirt, and he felt her forehead press lightly against his back as she bowed her head toward him. Suddenly she was so close he felt the warmth of her body against his back without touching nearly at all, and so close his heart... It skipped a beat.

He was stiff, silent and hardly daring to breath- his mind racing and unsure of what she was doing, or why, or even what he was supposed to do... He just... Couldn't move.

And she initiated the contact- contact where she had refrained from wherever she could, the entire time she had been back in his life. She hadn't ever moved to grab nor touch anyone, let alone him, unless something was wrong... And he had long since noticed the way she tensed up when other people got to close or did touch her, even gently... So why...?

"... I think... I need to make this clear, Shota." She murmured quietly, her hold on his wrist so light and yet so firm all at once. "... You don't owe me anything... You don't have anything to make up for either... I know... Despite what you might say on the matter, or act... I know what happened was awful for you... I know it... Bothers you worse now... Since... You know what happened after... With Simon... And... S... Surge... tch... And I know... you don't like letting people know it... But you do care... I know you hate this... I know it's painful... And I'm so sorry... But..." She paused, her hold on his shirt and his wrist got a little tighter.

"... Even with what happened... With Simon... The last ten years... Surge... And dying... I don't regret it. I never have, not once... I have never regretted saving you. Never."

He felt his heart skip another beat, his eyes widening as his breaths stalled completely.

"... None of it has ever made me regret saving you... I never regretted it, and I still don't... I will never regret it... To me, you are worth dying for, I knew that... If I could protect you... It was worth it."

His eyes fell closed, his shoulders sagging as he held his breath a little longer, his soul absolutely ached at the words... Ached so terribly it felt like he was getting ripped in two.

For someone who didn't 'get' what they felt anymore, her words were so damn genuine, and honest, and firm... She meant it, and it hurt.

His wrist in her hand shifted as he turned, giving her no choice but to to let go of his shirt, and Izaru was about to let go of his wrist too- but never managed it. His hand moved up, twining his fingers through hers softly and holding her hand steady in his as he stepped closer, destroying the small space between the both of them. His other hand moved up and behind her head, pulling her forward into him and making her nose bump against his neck.

His lips pressed faintly against her forehead, his breath warm against her skin and stubble tickling slightly as he stayed that way for a long, long while. They simply stood there, cold and warm all at once between the wet of the rain and the heat they naturally gave off underneath it.

Izaru was stiff to start, lost and unsure of the sudden gesture or why he did it- but her body instinctively relaxed after a fleeting few seconds, her tension melting with it as she let herself fall a little into the embrace.

... I don't... Feel so... 'Uncomfortable'... Right now... Why does... He...?

Her eyes dropped closed, her fingers twisted in his, their palms pressed together. He let out a small breath, his lips pulling away from her forehead at last as his head tilted down, and his nose bumped lightly against the top of her head.

His voice was quiet and soft, but almost husky in a way... And so sincere

"... Thank you... Aneko..."

Hello!

I am back, I have a new update for you- and a long one too! QwQ

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