This is an Author's Note. I do not own The Familiar of Zero or Dragon Ball Z. This chapter and all subsequent chapters are not endorsed by the franchises' respective owners. Please support the official releases before reading this.

This story contains suggestive themes and humor, there will however be nothing more explicit than what is featured in The Familiar of Zero. Additionally, I am bad at keeping characters true to their canon characterizations, (though sometimes I intentionally change them) and keeping them in their fanon characterizations. I don't mind reviewers pointing it out when characterization is inconsistent, but either an explanation of why or a suggestion on how to fix this is preferred. All errant and missing commas must be purged. Otherwise, reader who found this story hidden here, enjoy.

Chapter 1: Uncareful Wishes

It was a day written about many times before, the day of the springtime familiar summoning. As has happened before in the many universes that fractalized from this point in space and time, Louise was panicking from having claimed she would summon a dragon, a beast only the best mages could bring into their service, when she hadn't been able to properly cast a spell in her life. If she couldn't summon something unarguably magnificent, she'd never hear the end of it. Worse, if she failed to summon anything, then she would be ejected from her school for being incapable of magic. The only way she made it through her first year was near spotless theoretical marks compensating for her practical results.

'But,' she thought donning her Noble's Mantle. 'If I do summon something amazing, Kirche and her friends will never be able to call me Zero again.' Granted, this may be a bit of an optimistic prediction, but it was extremely cathartic just imagining. Plus, after many nights of research, reading, and revision, Louise had finally made an invocation tailored to summon only the best familiar to her side.

Exiting the entrance hall of the main tower, she could see her peers gathering before Professor Colbert, who was busy looking up occasionally while checking a list of second year students. Thus, all the positive energy from any reassuring thoughts Louise had a moment ago was promptly picked up in the breeze and waved goodbye to her.

Maybe if she stood near the back the other students would forget she was supposed to be here. Unfortunately, Louise was not by any metric the last to assemble for today's ritual. A large, jiggly aura approaching from behind her told her as much. Keeping her eyes locked in the opposite direction, and her spine involuntarily straight, Louise looked for anyone to feign conversation with until the demon passed. Noticing her only option was Guiche de Grammont, Louise made the mistake of hesitating.

"Oh, good morning Zero, fancy you having the gall to show up for the ritual today."

Swallowing, Louise turned to face the Zerbst having no excuse to deny conversation. As expected, Tabitha, the inanimate mage from Gallia, emulated being attached to Kirche by the hip. Bringing to bare a false front of confidence, Louise responded, "Zerbst, whatever made you think I wouldn't be here? I'm going to summon my familiar today after all."

"Oh really?" Kirche began closing in on the Valliere's space. "What did you say yesterday? 'You'll see Kirche! I'm going to summon a dragon or maybe a manticore!' It'll be precious seeing you try." Her shrill impersonation of Louise grated on Louise's nerves like a metal rake on a chalkboard.

"You shouldn't be acting so pompous, you harlot. My familiar will make yours look like a worthless bug in comparison." Louise retorted while stepping back out of reach as a couple of students began to look on.

"Sure, familiars do represent their masters. You'll probably summon a large puff of smoke." Kirche fanned her fingers across her mouth giggling. "It'll probably be blown away in the wind before you can finish the ritual."

Seeing more students beginning to watch her dispute with Kirche, Louise decided she needed to act quickly to save face. "Well, I w-"

"Attention! Summoners-to-be! It seems we have everyone assembled now. So please follow me out to the field to begin the rituals. For those of you who haven't had me as an instructor before, you will refer to me as Professor Colbert. No dallying! We have a big group this year."

With that Kirche Von Anhalt Zerbst smirked and led Tabitha and a few of her other friends and lovers away towards the summoning field. Louise let out a breath and a mental doppelgänger of her collapsed to the ground with relief. If only she could do that right now. Not ready to reengage her rival, Louise calmly stayed in the back as the assembled students made it to the field and the summonings began.

As the last two students aside from her were performing their summoning rituals, Louise decided she would settle for any familiar. Damn beating Zerbst's rare salamander or Tabitha's untoppable dragon, it would be a win to perform a spell correctly for the first time and prove she was a mage. Supposedly, it was impossible to fail the Summon Servant ritual, so today should be guaranteed to be her best day in her life. However, no mage had ever had a track record as bad as hers. Besides, even the best mages could end up with something small like a mouse, so yes, anything would do.

"Is that everyone now?" Colbert asked as he looked at the large ink stain marring his list. There had to be some way to improve upon quills and ink pots.

Kirche jumped in place and waved at the Professor. Louise bit her lip, 'Please leave me be, I can speak up for myself'. "Louise hasn't made her attempt yet! She still has to summon her dragon! Right Louise?"

'WHY!?' Why did Kirche have to bring that up now? All the other students were giggling now, "The Zero summoning a dragon? Really?"

"Miss Valliere, you're the last one up then. Please begin the ritual."

Puffing up, Louise took a step towards the summoning circle. "No way she's actually going to try?" Another step, fear seemed to seed itself in the students. As Louise closed her distance to the summoning array she could see the students back away at least 10 meters a person. Tabitha was dragging a mildly protesting Kirche behind an elevated section of ground for cover. Only Professor Colbert remained anywhere near the circle. 'But why? Shouldn't they be getting closer to gloat over me should I fail. My explosions blow up in my face and I only got a serious injury when I tried a slightly powerful spell last year... But the Summon Servant ritual spell is one of the most powerful magic spells in existence.'

'Brimir, protect me. If this explodes in my face there won't be a me anymore! And I like me!'

Sweat started to form on her brow as she pulled out her wand. Colbert announced while eyeing the retreating students that Louise may begin the ritual. Taking in a deep breath, Louise started her chant, wand directed at the array, and arm beginning to tremble in trepidation.

"My familiar that exists somewhere in this vast universe, heed my call! By the power of the pentagon of the five elements may your beautiful, divine, wise and powerful form serve me!" The field became dim as the sky turned black as night, and an audible murmur of panic rose from students now hastily erecting defenses. 'This isn't good. This isn't supposed to happen.'

Now with her whole body shaking, fortunately unseen by her classmates, and with images of this portion of Tristain exploding in her mind, Louise continued. "Grant my wish," and lightning arched along the array. 'No, no, no. Don't explode!' "And appear before me as I exclaim," The earth now rumbled underfoot, Colbert prepared to cast a spell, and Louise could feel magical power gushing from the array which worryingly lacked a green portal for her familiar to come through. 'This is definitely going to explode.'

"My familiar, I summon you forth!"

Then there was silence, though the sky remained black, all other signs of disaster ceased, and some students peered past their ad hoc fortifications and barriers with relief. Then seven streaks of light came down and caused an explosion of dirt and dust to rain down on the unfortunate summoner. Confused, dazed, and petrified with fear and anticipation Louise sat in the cloud of dust unable to see the summoning array that was at her feet a moment ago, certain she had just failed.

Recomposing himself, Colbert moved to dispel the dust cloud and check to see if Louise was injured. He failed to do this as a bright light launched the dust away in a gale of wind and a dragon rushed into the sky unendingly from out of nowhere. The dragon glowed with emerald armored scales and a yellow belly, it's long serpentine body large enough to comfortably swallow a merchant's airship whole. Two antlers like ancient trees and hair like tall grasses adorned it like a mane, and ruby eyes gazed down to where its body continued to emanate from seven crystal orbs. It's body now looped aerially above the academies outer walls and continued to form a slowly expanding coil suspended nearly half a mile in the air.

Then the dragon spoke, with a voice that shook all that heard it, "I am the Eternal Dragon Shenron, you who hath summoned me, speak now so that I might grant you two wishes."

At this Louise's fear began to melt away into realization. 'I summoned a Dragon!?' Standing up, she saw Colbert staring up at her summon and remembered she was not done with the ritual. 'How am I supposed to kiss him?' Seeing his body emanating from a crater where the summoning array was, meaning she must have been launched a little way from the impact, Louise slid down into the pit where the dragon seemed to spontaneously generate out of the light of seven orange spheres.

'I hope those aren't my familiar's... Special Bits.' Raising her wand up high in excitement Louise chanted, "Pentagon of the five elements, give this worthy creature your blessing, and bind him to me!" Louise brought down her wand towards the orbs emanating the dragon, and on contact there was an explosion.

The youngest of the Vallieres was now flying in an arch through the air, covered in dirt, soot, and minor burns to her clothing when time slowed and she noticed she was less falling to the ground and more gliding over it at high speed. Then her foot caught the dirt.

Several meters of field were plowed by Louise's left shoulder, hip, and knee as her momentum dragged her through the earth. Her mantle was now torn off, her left sleeve and shirt were torn to ribbons that littered the ground, her stocking and shoe had abandoned her, and her whole left side was marred with grass stains and friction burns excepting her lower hip and upper thigh which were protected by her thick skirt. As she gingerly stood again her blasted dragon growled and said, "Your binding magic has no power over me. Now summoner, speak so that I might grant your wish."

Wincing, Louise stood with her weight on her right foot. She could see Professor Colbert slowly sidestepping his way towards her, never facing away from the dragon with his staff ready and face set in a grimace. Behind her she could see movement as students backed into the forest moving from cover to cover with the exception of Tabitha and Kirche. 'It wants to grant my wish, huh? That sounds obedient, so maybe the dragon didn't blow me up on purpose?' Louise glared up to the dragon she summoned. "Ok, I want you to let me make you my familiar! You hear me?!"

"Do not waste my time further, you must wish for me to use my power. Now speak, 'I wish...' "

"Oh, ok." A literal wish then. 'This must be the strangest summoning there ever was.' Across the multiverse thousands of Saitos and other far superior summons sneezed in synchronization, and caused three near identical universes to collapse into one. "Dragon, I wish you would complete the familiar binding ritual!"

Colbert turned to Louise in alarm at her sloppy phrasing. Wish granting entities rely on specifics! She should know this!

Shenron's eyes glowed a brilliant red, and Louise felt a new pain on her left hand. Looking down, she saw a bright light inscribing a rune onto her hand. In both horror and agony, Louise wailed out forcing herself not to grab at her already damaged hand. Eyes returning to a duller shade of red, Shenron spoke, "Your wish has been granted, what is your second and final wish?"

'Second wish? Like the first one worked! How did I end up with the familiar runes!' Louise seethed with rage at that thought and steadied herself. Colbert, now about ten meters away, yelled, "Be careful Louise, wish granting beings take what you wish for extremely literally!" 'So, if I don't word this like a legal contract, then things might backfire?' More importantly, what was she going to wish for? Being able to cast a proper spell would be nice. She could wish for her magic to work! But what if it already did? Her entire left side ached too much to be thinking hard right now, and much to Colbert's chagrin, she rushed into her second wish.

"Dragon, for my second wish, I wish to successfully cast spells of any element. It can be fire, water, earth, or wind, any one of those will do. I just want to be able to cast normal spells!" A tear streaked down her face at the thought of being able to do some proper magic for once in her life. As the dragon's eyes glowed once more, four patches of crackling energy manifested above the dragon. Bolts of energy lashed out between them and regret washed over Louise settling in her stomach as the thought of including the word 'painlessly' drifted into her mind.

Facepalming, Colbert set up a wind shield to protect Louise from what appeared to be an impending lightning barrage. The shield did nothing.

In rapid succession, Louise was pierced by four beams of divine light. First, a flaming orange streak hit her forehead pulling her head back. Second, a solid navy-blue line struck her lips knocking her off balance. Thirdly, a cyan ray pierced her chest striking her downwards. Finally, a golden bolt bludgeoned her in the abdomen, slamming her into the earth once more. "Your wish has been granted." Her teacher could only watch helplessly.

Stiff and unmoving on the ground Louise looked up and listened to the dragon's parting words. "Until the next summoning, where by my name you will summon me forth." Shenron's body lit up with golden light, rushed up into the heavens, and with a flick of his tail scattered the dragon balls across Halkeginia before vanishing. As the sky returned to a state of daylight, Louise thought, 'The next summoning?' before passing out. Colbert rushed over to take her battered body straight to the infirmary.