VERSION 497

THE JOYS OF JASON

(MICHAEL'S LOG: I've decided to abandon the idea of forcing Jason to impersonate an ascetic monk on this go-around. If I make him miserable from the start, he may guess that this isn't the good place. I have to find something to distract him. Torture can come later. ).

There was an older man sitting at a desk, and a pretty girl sitting at his side. Jason could not remember just why he was here.

"Jason, you are dead. But don't worry, you are in the Good Place."

"Good Place? Is that in Florida? Or over the border in Georgia? Or –"

"It is on a completely different plane of existence."

Jason didn't know what that meant, but it didn't sound like it really made a difference. "Cool. Say, could I have a beer?"

The girl raised her hand and a can of beer promptly materialized in it. Wow. "I'm Janet," she said, handing him the can.

"Thank you. Can you show me how to do that?"

"I'm afraid not. It requires control of inter-continuum forces."

"Oh."

"But you can summon me, if you need something, just by saying my name."

Jason wondered if he could summon her even when he didn't need anything. Better not press his luck.

The older man rose. "I'm sure you'd like to see your new home. Let us show you around."

They went out into a street. There were no cars; you seemed free to walk anywhere. The style of surrounding buildings looked sort of familiar, rather like a theme park in Orlando. That wasn't a good sign for Jason. He had never been able to schedule a concert for any of his bands in Orlando: too much competition. On the other hand, maybe there weren't many competing bands on this plane of existence.

On the other hand, Jason didn't know if his bands were here either. Maybe he should be looking for a DJ job instead. He asked the older man, whose name seemed to be Michael.

"No, you won't need a job, here, Jason."

"To earn money –"

"You won't need that, either. Janet will tell you how to get what you need."

They stopped at a pretty cottage, which Michael said was now Jason 's. Going inside, they sat in a living room, where Janet started to conjure up a tea set, then thought better of it and conjured up some more cans of beer instead. Michel sniffed and sipped at his can as if he had never encountered such a thing.

"Do you mind if I redecorate this place a bit?" Jason asked, looking around. Maybe a few posters or so on the walls-

"Do as you like, Jason, it's your house. But tell me, is there something we could supply that would make your stay here perfect?"

Jason thought. "It would be nice to have a girlfriend."

Michael looked startled. "A girl- ? Well, maybe I could line up a soulmate for you. Janet - ?"

"I can arrange it."

But after Michael left, Jason and Janet concentrated on setting up the house just the way Jason wanted it. Posters of Ariane Grande and other stars on the wall. A swimming pool out back. And though Janet said she couldn't connect directly to the Internet or cable services on Earth, she could make copies of everything and leave them at his fingertips. She could even get TV seasons that hadn't been broadcast on Earth yet.

But finally, Janet halted the work for a while, saying that she had some other duties to take care of, and even in this continuum, she couldn't be in two places at the same time. So Jason let her leave – or rather, vanish.

A few minutes later, there was a knock on Jason's door. It was a red-headed girl, and she struck Jason as somehow familiar, even though he couldn't think of where on Earth (literally) he would have known her.

"Hi," she said. "I'm Jackie. Janet sent me."

Jackie proved the perfect girlfriend, or even a soulmate, as Michael had put it. She seemed to share Jason's tastes in everything. She thought the Arianna Grande posters were cool, though she said she hadn't heard of the celebrity up to today. She thought his Youtube collection was awesome. By the time they had run through 5 videos, he noticed that the light outside his cottage window was dimming.

"Will you stay the night?" he asked.

"I'd love to," said Jackie. "But there is something that you must know. Janet had some trouble putting me together, particularly on short notice. As a result, I cannot Do It."

"Do it? Do what? Oh," he said, belatedly realizing what she was talking about. But it was not his nature to let a single disappointment get him down, where there were so many other sources of enjoyment. He hadn't intended his question to come out as sexually as it sounded. "It's all right. We can't have everything."