This is one of roughly 2,000,000 stories that obsessedwithstabler and I have co-written and hoarded over the years. I assure you that some of the others will eventually be posted!
Disclaimer: We do not own Supernatural. We also do not own Blackbird by The Beatles, which I used for the title. Stay tuned!
When Cas thought about his future, he saw Dean Winchester in it.
Maybe he was just cliche. But no matter how many different scenarios he played in his mind, Dean was always in them.
And Cas imagined children in their future together. Dean already had a baby girl from his first marriage. Sarah was almost two years old and full of mischief, but Cas adored her. Dean had her every other weekend and every Wednesday. It never seemed like enough time, but neither one of them wanted to isolate Sarah from her mom.
Cas had everything set in his mind. He would propose to Dean at a nice dinner. Maybe he would even have Sarah present the ring. He imagined Dean saying yes, flashing that shit-eating grin that made Cas weak in the knees. Their wedding would be small, but everything they wanted.
He imagined them telling Sarah she would be a big sister. Sarah's green eyes would light up as she hugged them tight. Maybe she would even start calling him Daddy, too.
Everything seemed so perfect in his mind.
Then one day, life pulled the rug from beneath their feet before Cas had a chance to put his plans into action.
For the first time in years, Dean was deployed. It broke his heart to leave Cas and Sarah, but he had to fight for his country.
The day Dean had to leave, he blinked back tears as he hugged Cas, Sam, and Sarah goodbye. As he boarded the plane, he swore to himself that he would come back. He was making the world a better place for them.
As the days and weeks passed, Cas felt hollow in their little apartment. Since he wasn't related to Sarah, he had no legal rights to grant visitation. Sam tried his best to bring her by to see him, which helped him cope with Dean's absence.
Dean called and even FaceTimed when he could, but sometimes calls were few and far between. Cas watched the news and checked the Internet every day, praying he wouldn't see a headline about Dean's base.
For weeks, Cas heard nothing about Dean's base. Dean couldn't share details during the calls. Besides, when Dean called, he wanted to talk about anything but the fighting. He wanted to talk about Sarah and Cas and funny stories to lighten the mood.
For the first month, he called twice a week. Then once a week. As calls became shorter, Cas learned to cherish every moment. Soon, Dean was only able to call once every other week.
Whenever a call didn't come on time, Cas's only option was to hope the worst hadn't happened.
Three weeks went by.
Four.
Cas was on his lunch break, reading Dean's most recent letter when his phone buzzed with a news update. Wiping his hands on a napkin, Cas picked up his phone to read the notification.
Attack on US Army Base Leaves at Least 50 Dead.
As his heart clenched, an incoming FaceTime call from Sam came in. A lump rose in Cas's throat as he fumbled, swiping his thumb shakily across the screen. A moment later, Sam's face appeared on the screen.
"Cas." Sam's voice escaped his lips tightly, and his face was pale.
Cas gripped the table with his free hand. "No," he said lowly. "Don't say it, Sam."
"It happened this morning..." Sam's breath hitched. "Cas, Dean was stationed there..."
"He's not dead, Sam," Cas snapped. "He...he's fine."
Sam ran his fingers through his hair. "They haven't identified bodies yet... we'll know later..."
He shook his head and moments later his brother's face came into view.
"Hey, Cassie," Gabe greeted softly. "We're coming over in a few hours."
"No..."
"Yes. We'll bring dinner. You're not going to sit there alone and worry."
Sam nodded. "And I'll swing by Lauren's house and get Sarah."
Finally Cas sniffled and nodded. "Okay."
"Okay. We'll see you this evening."
He nodded weakly and watched as Sam and Gabe's faces disappeared from his screen.
He barely pulled through the rest of the day, but finally it was time to clock out. He went home, and soon Sam and Gabe showed up with Sarah. Sarah lit up when she spotted Cas. She reached out to him, her little fingers wiggling.
Cas let out a breath and took her into his arms. "Hello, sweetheart. I've missed you so much..."
"Cas!" Sarah hugged his neck.
He kissed her head and hugged her. "Thank you for bringing her, sam." He knew Laura resented him, despite his and Dean's best efforts to coparent with her.
Sam nodded and ruffled his niece's hair. "I thought she would be a good addition."
"And we brought food." Gabriel set two large paper bags on the table and began pulling out containers. "We brought you chicken parm."
"Thanks, Gabe." Cas sat down and settled Sarah in his lap. "Want to help me eat, sweetheart?"
"Yeah!"
"You always do." He opened his dinner box and gave her half of his garlic bread. "Yummy."
"Num num!" She took a big bite.
Cas kissed her head again as his brothers sat beside him.
"She's a cutie." Gabe nudged Sam. "We oughtta have a few of those."
Sam smiled and kissed Gabe's messy hair. Sarah finished her garlic bread, then stuck her spoon into her macaroni and began messily feeding herself.
Cas ate his own dinner with less gusto, but he was thankful to have Sarah right there.
Sam spoke up a few minutes later. "I talked Laura into letting Sarah spend the night here."
Cas looked at sam gratefully. "Thank you..."
"You're welcome. I think Sarah missed you."
"God knows I missed her," he said quietly, his hand absently stroking her hair.
Sarah leaned into him. Sam handed her a little backpack. Pleased, Sarah dug through it until she found the stuffed tiger Dean had bought her in the airport gift shop the day he left. "Dada kitty!"
A lump formed in his throat. "Yes," he managed. "Daddy bought the tiger for you."
She snuggled her tiger under one arm, then cuddled against Cas's side.
He gladly held her tighter. "Are you full, Sar? All done?"
"All done!"
"That's my girl." He ate a few more bites. "I'm going to clean her up. Can you guys stay?"
Sam nodded. "We aren't going anywhere."
"Yep. We'll clean up in here," Gabe added.
"Thank you." Cas stood up with Sarah. "How about a bubble bath?"
"Yeah!" She handed Gabe her tiger. "Kitty," she commanded.
Gabe took her tiger and gently tickled her. "Go get clean, brat. I'll make sure Kitty doesn't get himself in trouble."
"Kay."
Cas smiled sadly and carried her down the hall, stroking her hair. He shut the bathroom door behind them. Setting Sarah down for a minute, he turned on the tub faucet. Once the water was the right temperature, he poured in the bubbles. Then he removed Sarah's outfit and lowered her into the tub.
When they were alone, Sam looked at Gabe sadly. "He needs Sarah here more often." He didn't want to believe that his brother was dead, that Dean had found a was to escape and would turn up once the investigation was complete. But they had to face the reality that Dean could very well be buried beneath six feet of rubble somewhere, and he wasn't sure if Cas would be able to face it.
"I think so, too."
Gabe looked thoughtful. "Do you think that witch would agree if I paid her?"
"Gabe..."
"It's an idea! She hates Cassie and the only reason she said yes to this is because she thinks Sarah is with us."
"We'll think about it."
"Fine," Gabe grumbled.
A few minutes later, Cas returned with Sarah, clean and in footed kitten pajamas.
Sarah raised her arms proudly. "All cwean!"
Gabe got up and came over to them. "You certainly are, lollipop." He kissed her forehead.
"We even brought some dessert." Sam set out a container with a brownie in it.
Sarah lit up. "Mm!"
Cas chuckled and let Gabe take Sarah. "Go wild."
She picked up the brownie and took a big bite. "Yum!"
Sarah nearly inhaled her brownie, to everyone's amusement. Gabe insisted on wiping her down again before giving her back to Cas.
Sam gathered all the dirty dishes. "Go sit down with her, Cas."
He smiled at his brother-in-law and grabbed one of Sarah's books from his shelf. Then he sat down with her in Dean's favorite recliner. Sarah snuggled her tiger close, leaning back against Cas's chest. Cas opened the book and found the first page. ""It's a funny thing about mothers and fathers. Even when their own child is the most disgusting little blister you could ever imagine, they still think that he or she is wonderful," he read softly.
Sam and Gabe quietly cleaned up the kitchen before sitting down on the couch.
As he finished the first chapter of Matilda, Cas realized Sarah was sleeping. Closing the book, he sniffled quietly.
Gabe looked worried. "Cas, what's wrong?"
He set the book aside and held Sarah tighter. "If I lose Dean, I'll lose Sarah, too..."
"Nope." Gabe shook his head. "We'll make sure that doesn't happen."
"How?" He choked.
"It's not going to happen. I don't care if I have to pay that..." He swallowed the insult he wanted to say. "I don't care if I have to pay Lauren. You will never lose that baby."
"Gabe..."
Gabe shook his head. "And besides. She knows better than to keep Sarah from her Uncle Samoose. Whenever Sam has her, we'll make sure you see her. And if that doesn't work, I'm not above bribery."
Cas closed his eyes and stroked Sarah's soft head. "Thank you, Gabe..."
"We'll make sure you get to see her."
He nodded tightly and rubbed his eyes. Feeling exhausted, he reclined in the chair with Sarah and closed his eyes. Sarah snuggled close, yawning sleepily. Gabe got up and grabbed a throw blanket. He unfolded it and draped it over his brother and sleeping niece.
"Sleep well, you two."
*dodges angry mob* This is just the beginning, y'all. Stay tuned!