View Count: 2001 (woot!)

Thank you as always to my favorite trio of reviewers. I've decided that catthyyours is Sonic, Cytisus is Tails, and Cyan Quartz is Knuckles.

Mushroom Hill

Mushrooms the size of water towers were an impressive sight. More precisely, they were for the first ten seconds. Beyond that point, they were demoted to being merely a piece of scenery that had not been a fleeting blur as they were zipped past with reckless abandon. And that was a tragedy indeed.

"This place is giving me déjà vu all over again," said Sonic.

"Didn't you say that before?" asked Tails, not looking up from his work.

"I did. I'm just getting restless," Sonic admitted, swatting at a fly. "Detector working yet?"

"Spagonia wasn't built in a day, you know," came the absent reply.

The fox continued to work on his contraption, which consisted of a hodgepodge of color-clashing parts from a variety of destroyed equipment. Sonic's sole contribution had been doodling over the Eggman Empire logo on one side panel before he inevitably got bored again.

"But we need to hurry up and fight Eggman..."

"Prepared, ideally."

There was a pause. Tails looked up and smirked.

"...unless you think you can transform with only three Emeralds?"

Sonic stiffened. "Ha ha. No."

"What about the Emeralds?" Knuckles asked, walking up.

"Uh, nothing," Sonic said. "Just wondering if your Emerald sense is working again?"

Visibly frustrated, Knuckles shook his head. "If by that you mean the Chaos Emeralds, I still can't sense them."

"The walk didn't help?" Sonic asked.

"Not even a little. All I know is that we were headed towards a Chaos Emerald in this forest, and suddenly the energies got mixed up."

"And the Master Emerald?"

Knuckles squinted as he rubbed his temple. "That's all I can sense, but I don't even know where or how close it is anymore. It's just there."

"Yikes. So we really are going blind without Tails' detector…"

Knuckles grunted an affirmative.

Tails gave the echidna a sympathetic look. "It's okay! I should be finished with this soon. In fact...I really don't know why it's not already working."

"How's it s'posed to work?" asked Sonic.

Tails picked up his piece of abstract art. He popped the green Chaos Emerald into a socket, and a few LEDs lit up.

"This Emerald is functioning as both a power source and a baseline for the detector. The Emeralds all operate at the same frequency, plus or minus a small offset. So by copying this guy's signal and then slightly tweaking it, I can select which other Emerald I'm looking for."

He then gestured to a grille on one side. "It's crude, but this speaker here should play a sound based on how close you are to another Emerald."

"So what's the problem?" asked Knuckles.

Tails pulled out the red Emerald and held it directly in front of the detector while turning a knob with his free hand. Nothing happened.

"I'm not sure why this isn't beeping. I verified all the components individually. Are the Chaos Emeralds just not working anymore?" he asked Knuckles.

The echidna folded his arms, looking both insulted and helpless.

Tails cringed. "Oh. I'm sorry..."

"Lemme see?" said Sonic, taking the red Emerald. Clutching it between both palms, he held it at face-level and stared intently into it. After a moment, a soft glow rippled from the center of the gem and washed across his hands.

His concentration snapped, and he shook his head briskly. Then he shrugged and tossed the Emerald back to Tails.

"Honestly, that didn't feel any different to me…but I'm no expert," he added delicately after a side glance at Knuckles.

Tails frowned, knocking on his device and turning it over a few times. "Then I guess it's still got a few gremlins."

"Wha, where?" asked Sonic, looking around.

"Ah, no, I just meant bugs," Tails muttered. He paused for a moment, then gasped and snapped his fingers. "Oh I know, it's ultrasonic!"

The hedgehog frowned. "That's not canon."

"No, I meant 'sonic' the adjective."

Knuckles turned to Sonic. "He a relative of yours?"

Tails laughed. "No! I give up. Hang on..."

Pulling out his multi-tool, he pried open a panel and used his slotted screwdriver to turn a small plastic knob all the way down.

"That's the only suitable potentiometer I found, and it's at its lower limit, so let's hope that's enough..."

Tongue poking out in concentration, Tails held the red Emerald in front of the detector while tuning the outer knob again. After a moment, he sprang to his feet.

"Yes!"

Knuckles and Sonic glanced at each other.

"Uh...yes what, buddy?" asked the latter.

"It works! It works!" Tails squealed, hopping excitedly.

"It does?"

Tails stopped. "Wait, you didn't hear that?"

"Hear what?" asked Knuckles.

"The high-pitched...oh...wow. You're never going to let me live this down." Tails said, then looked up to return Sonic's nonplussed stare with a small, wry smile. "Essentially, I built a dog whistle."

The hedgehog burst out laughing. "I told you your adorably oversized ears were useful! Meanwhile, I've got these tiny things, and..."

Sonic glanced at Knuckles and trailed off entirely before restarting in a whisper.

"Tails...does he have ears?"

"I can hear you, idiot."

"He does, Sonic."

"But I mean, look," Sonic persisted. "You can't see his ears, and it would explain so much if he didn't have them..."

"I could say the same thing about your brains!" Knuckles yelled.

"Okay, okay, just joshin' ya. You're not much of a fungi, eh?"

Tails barged forward. "Let's start looking," he said in a louder voice than necessary.

Sonic and Knuckles followed in silence behind their younger friend as he wandered through the forest, engrossed with his detector and swerving at seemingly random junctures. Sonic gently steered the distracted fox around an incoming mushroom trunk, then watched as he scratched his head in thought.

"It is strange, though…" Tails muttered, still walking.

Sonic's ears perked up. "What is?"

"Knuckles and I are named after nouns. But your name, Sonic, is an adjective. Why is that?"

Sonic snorted. "Because 'Feet the Hedgehog' woulda been a terrible name. Wait, why'd you stop?"

Tails looked down at the detector, turned in a slow circle, then pointed the detector towards the towering canopy of mushroom caps and tree limbs. "I think the Emerald is directly above us," he concluded. "I'll be back in a few minutes."

Sonic froze mid fist-pump. "Why can't we come?"

"These mushrooms are too soft to climb, and I'd rather not fly you all the way up," Tails explained. "Seriously, I'll be fine!"

"B-but, do you really want to do another Special Stage?"

Tails twitched, then recovered. "Nice try. I'll drop a vine down to you if I need help."

He flew forward for a few seconds before hesitating.

"See!" Sonic blurted. "You're nervous! You won't be fine!"

"No, it's not that, but...just…" Tails turned around, looking somewhat strained. "Please don't kill each other while I'm gone."

Knuckles snorted.

Sonic silently watched Tails fly off, the tapping of his feet increasing in frequency. He let off a prolonged groan once the fox disappeared completely.

Knuckles rolled his eyes. "Why aren't you ever that concerned about me?"

Sonic turned. "Do you wanna be my sidekick?" he retorted, a tiny smirk breaking through his frown.

"Not if it were the last job on the planet. Forget I asked."

"Well, not only do I have to wait again, but now I'm sidekickless."

"Again, forget I asked."

"Not that you coulda replaced him," Sonic continued. "He's like, the Robin to my Batman."

Knuckles frowned. "What to who?"

"You've never heard of Batman? Y'know, caped crusader of the night? Dark and brooding?"

"Tch. Hedgehog, if you're dark and brooding, then I'm Cream the Rabbit."

"I don't see a problem here," Sonic said, shrugging.

Knuckles growled.

"But you're right," Sonic admitted, "you deserve to be a character too. In fact, there's this one with an epic red 'do, who only joins the team when the going gets tough. Name's perfect too, considering your tastes."

Knuckles had been feigning disinterest, but finally surrendered to his own curiosity with a sigh. "Alright, what's the character's name?"

Sonic grinned widely and reeled in an imaginary fishing line. "Batgirl."

Knuckles spun around on his heel. "Okay, let's join Tails."

"But I thought he told us to wait?" Sonic said, still grinning.

"He also told me not to kill you. Besides, you can't pretend to be any more patient than I am."

"Oh I don't plan to," Sonic reassured him. "But now I can blame you for breaking the rule first."

Knuckles stormed off, followed by a hedgehog whose grin was now permanently set on his face. Old wives worldwide rejoiced simultaneously at the validation of their tales.

"Tails?" Knuckles called at random into the sky. There was no response. Undeterred, he walked up a nearby hill, where a wooden structure supported a small rope swing. He then pointed to a platform made of a mushroom cap extending from the trunk of a much taller, colorful mushroom. "If we get up there, we can probably trampoline off that cap to reach the top level."

"Yeah," said Sonic. "So you can go first, and I'll give you a speed boost."

"That's...nice of you," Knuckles noted suspiciously.

Sonic jogged a few steps back to have a look as he directed. "Okay, sit on the plank…yep...perfect. Now grab the ropes and lean back."

"Fine, but how does this help you push me?"

"Honestly, I just like the visual of you sitting in a swing like a little girl," Sonic said, framing the scene with his hands. "If only we had the Miles Electric. Or some cute scrunchies."

"Rrgh! What is this, revenge for the sledding incident?"

"...maybe."

"And maybe you need to toughen up. It's not my fault you bruise like an overripe banana!"

"Okay, Wendy. Hang on tight!"

Leaving a grumbling echidna behind, Sonic ran to the top of the hill.

"Geronimo!" he hooted as he charged down the hill. He gave Knuckles a hearty shove on passing, causing the swing to loop in full circles.

Knuckles jumped off and landed on the small mushroom platform. As soon as the cap bent under his weight, a bundle of elastic vines snapped upwards, pinning him against the larger trunk. He growled irritably as he pulled himself a few paces forward, then yanked one of the vines out of its root on the trunk.

A discolored cloud of fine particles burst out of the gash in the trunk like a confetti gun. He stared at it, baffled.

"What…?"

"Knuckles, the air!"

Knuckles turned to see Sonic run down the hill, towards the swing. The echidna's eyes widened.

"NO! Stay away!"

Sonic ignored the directive, launching himself upwards and body-slamming Knuckles off the platform. The action got his own limbs tangled up in the vines, which pulled him quills-first into the soft trunk. More gas erupted from the fresh punctures as he tried to free himself.

Knuckles had broken his fall by grabbing a vine on the way down. Hanging onto it with one hand, he used his other three limbs to scramble back up to the clouded platform. Fully surrounded by now, Sonic was on his knees, coughing uncontrollably. Knuckles took a few moments ripping the remaining vines, then grabbed the hedgehog and leapt off the platform.

On the ground, and back in clean air, he sat Sonic against a tree trunk.

"Are you alright?"

The coughing finally tapered off. "Yeah…"

"Look at me. How many fingers do you see?"

The hedgehog slowly lifted his head and focused on the echidna's outstretched palms.

"Two?"

"No! I have-" Knuckles paused, looked at his mittens, then wiggled his thumbs. "Oh."

"See, I'm a smart one," said Sonic, leaning back on the tree to catch his breath while Knuckles returned his attention to the forest.

"More like you survived your own recklessness as usual. I was trying to tell you; I've built up an immunity to the mushrooms' spores, but most aren't as lucky as you."

"I am hungry, though."

"You're always hungry."

"No, I'm like, really hungry. I'm craving something small and crunchy, and wriggly."

Knuckles turned slowly. "Wriggly?" he repeated.

"Yeah, like a centipede or something."

"...what? Centipedes aren't great scavenge food. We could roast crickets if you were that hungry, but last time you claimed it would make your chili dogs feel unloved."

"Psh. That couldn'ta been me. Bugs are way tastier than chili dogs."

Knuckles' expression crashed harder than a wildebeest on a unicycle. He dove in to look closer, turning Sonic's face towards himself.

"Shoot, your pupils are dilated."

"And your breath smells like rainbows," Sonic giggled.

"You're not immune to the spores," Knuckles concluded, stepping back.

Sonic burst into unfettered laughter. "Schweet! Am I gonna die?"

"No; I got you out fast enough. You'll just be loopy for a while...and I'll be...stuck with you...the whole time..."

The realization smote Knuckles like a leaping trout during a whitewater rafting competition. He sat down hard.

"Aw, cheer up, Nutmegs," said Sonic, scooching over to slap him heartily on the back. "How's about we have a race? We run around with our mouths open, and the one who catches the most bugs wins!"

"Absolutely not," Knuckles moaned into the hands cupping his face.

"Boy are you sulky today. Okay, I'll share any bugs I find with you. How's that?"

"Let's just get back to finding Tails," said Knuckles, standing up resolutely. "He has an unreal ability to put up with you."

Sonic also jumped to his feet. "I think you mean, let's go find some bugs."

"Whatever. I'm sure there are more bugs higher up."

"Ooo, then lead the way, Cap'n Crunch."

Knuckles inspected the tree they'd been leaning against. It was young, not tall enough to reach the higher level, but…

"I have an idea," he said, gathering up the vine scraps that had fallen and braiding them into one long rope. He climbed the tree, tied one end of the vine up top, then jumped down with the other end, which he tied to a thick wooden stump protruding from the ground. Sonic watched as he painstakingly wrapped the vine around the trunk, gradually bending the tree towards the ground.

Knuckles stood over the taut vine. "Now we just have to adjust it for-"

Sonic pounced on a fly that had landed on Knuckles' back. The echidna fell forward onto the vine, which began to rip. He quickly grabbed Sonic with one hand and the intact portion of the vine with the other.

The vine snapped, unceremoniously catapulting the tumbling duo through a series of tree branches and mushroom caps until they reached the top level.

Knuckles picked himself off the ground and glared at Sonic. "Now why did you feel the need to - hey! Look at me when I'm talking to you!"

"Narf," Sonic purred, gawking at a variety of insect activity set to the dramatic backdrop of the sun streaming in through the surrounding plant life. Nearby songbirds belted out sweet nothings in the blind hope of scoring an equally blind date.

"Sonic."

The hedgehog snapped to attention, then dropped to a runner's crouch. "Right, can't forget our original goal. Ready, set..."

Knuckles waved his hands frantically as he ran towards Sonic. "No-no-no we have to find Tai-"

"GO!"

A blue streak tore past Knuckles, causing him to do an involuntary pirouette before losing his balance.

The echidna leapt back to his feet. "Argh! Get back here!" he ordered, giving chase in what he hoped was the correct direction. He ran through the foliage, looking down for skid marks or any other sign that a hammered hyperactive hedgehog had just run by. The next time he looked up, he was about two feet away from a comparably distracted fox.

Unable to come to a full stop, Knuckles collided with Tails and did his best to avoid squashing his smaller friend during the subsequent tumble.

Tails stared at Knuckles as the latter planted him back on his feet. "Uh...well, I can't be too surprised you didn't stay put."

"Tails! You have to help me. Sonic's turned into a clown."

Tails sighed as he brushed himself off. "Knuckles, I know he gets on your nerves, but there's no need to exaggerate every time he acts a smidge-"

Sonic zoomed up with a squeal. "Tires! My bestest buddy! Noodles won't have a bug-eating race with me!"

Tails froze. "That's new, though," he said slowly.

"But he was right about one thing," Sonic continued, picking at his teeth, "Centipedes are disgusting...when compared to millipedes! A thousand legs of sheer delight."

Tails was too incredulous to even point out the misnomer. "I...I don't understand. I left you alone for mere minutes..."

"Oh yeah, that reminds me! Hey Toes, Nostrils here was a very bad boy and disobeyed you!"

"Look, it's not my fault," Knuckles protested, pointing back at Sonic. "He was getting all antsy and-"

"Ants!?" Sonic shrieked. "Where?"

Tails watched the hedgehog zip off. "I blame myself."

"No…" said Knuckles, shaking his head, "if anyone went insane from our banter alone, it would have been me. A mushroom blasted him with a heavy dose of toxic spores. It'll wear off."

"W-wait, what? This was never a problem the last time. Why didn't you warn us?"

Knuckles put a hand to his head. "Because it's summer. The mushrooms only have this mechanism in early spring. I have no idea why it's happening so late."

Tails frowned thoughtfully. "Is it a lingering effect of that weather machine Eggman used to have installed here?"

"Maybe..."

Tails realized he was standing beside a mushroom trunk and took a nervous step back.

Knuckles tossed his hands up in a resigned shrug. "It's only the mushroom types with the bright blue streaks on their trunks. It could have been a fluke, but to be safe, we should avoid those types."

Tails looked at the rather plain trunk and released the breath he'd been holding.

"Did you at least find the Chaos Emerald up here?" Knuckles asked.

"No...the detector does appear to be working, but eventually it started acting like the Emerald moved."

Knuckles raised an eye ridge. "Like it did at the carnival?"

"I guess…" Tails said, and then pointed into the forest. "Now it appears to be in this direction."

"Well, go ahead."

Looking uncertain, Tails began walking again. Knuckles followed silently until he heard a telltale whoosh at six o'clock.

"Sonic, stop playing with my dreadlocks."

"'kay."

The trio continued walking for another moment before Knuckles whirled around.

"And what are you chewing on?"

Sonic tilted his head thoughtfully. "Mm, a cicada, I think."

Knuckles rolled his eyes and continued following Tails. "You go ahead and enjoy that. Just stop making smacking noises in my ear."

"Why?"

"Because I'll punch your face in if you don't."

"Meanie," Sonic huffed, then jogged ahead. "Hey Trolls, whatcha doin'?"

"Looking for a Chaos Emerald..."

"Is it tasty?"

"Not unless you're a pet frog," Knuckles grumbled.

"Ugh, seriously? And pet frogs should know better! They get to eat all those flies! Granted, flies are tasty, but I'm a bit more partial to rhino beetles. I kinda like the al dente critters myself, and-"

Knuckles clapped a hand over Sonic's mouth. "Tails, why'd you stop?"

"...I couldn't hear the detector."

"You heard the kid. Zip it," Knuckles said before releasing Sonic, who then stuck his tongue at him.

Looking concerned, Tails eyed the detector, knocked on it a few times, and turned in a slow circle.

"Wait, don't tell me it moved again," said Knuckles.

Tails sighed dejectedly. "I don't know anymore. I really thought I fixed all the...unintended features on this thing."

"The what?" asked Knuckles.

"The unfixed problems that I haven't been able to diagnose yet," Tails said with a pointed look. "You know, the gremlins?"

"Listen, I know I'm not the most book-smart, but do you have to constantly waste breath flexing your vocabulary? Couldn't you just tell me it has more bugs?"

Sonic immediately tackled Tails to the ground.

"I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS, TAPES."

"Aah! No! Bad Sonic! My device!"

Knuckles frowned. "Oh."

The echidna reached down and yanked the hedgehog off his sidekick right before he could take a good chomp off the detector.

"Necklace, why are you taking his side!? He was holding out on me!" yelled Sonic, failing to wriggle out of a red bear hug.

"Because you're not thinking calmly and rationa-gah! Bite me again and you're eating your own foot next!"

A shadow crept across the group.

"Hello there! Am I interrupting something?"

The startled trio whipped their heads up to see a hovercraft floating above them. It looked slightly bulkier than they had come to expect, but there was absolutely no question as to its owner.

"EGGMAN," Knuckles roared, dropping Sonic. "What have you done with the Master Emerald? Why can't I sense it properly?"

"My dear echidna, if you hadn't been acting as the world's largest dowsing rod and Tails hadn't immediately covered your deficiency, I wouldn't have had to interrupt you here. But I've already said too much. Sonic, my revenge on you will be legendary."

"Because WE'RE CHRONIC HEROES," screamed the team captain.

Eggman frowned. "Seriously, rodent? Eight chapters leading up to our confrontation and that's the zinger you were cultivating?"

Sonic ignored the admonition, instead snatching a moth robot from midair and trying to bite off its wings.

Eggman looked at him funny. "What, did you never recover from that concussion?" he mumbled. "Well, no matter. I've detoured here to collect the Chaos Emerald in this forest. Not that I really felt like confronting you at this juncture, but now that I have, you're welcome to surrender the three Emeralds you already have."

"They do?" asked Cubot. "Where are they keeping them?"

"NOOO," screamed Eggman, Orbot, Knuckles, and Tails in a flawless exhibition of Shelby 3.1 Surround Sound™.

Cubot blinked. "What'd I do?"

"Listen well," Eggman growled dangerously. "Under no circumstance do we ask questions with that elevation of logic. We never ask how those pantsless idiots store large items. We never ask how Amy conjures hammers from thin air. We never ask how the fox mutant would need a titanium ball joint and the biological equivalent of a carbon brush motor in his rump to fly-!"

Orbot began to spark. Tails was loudly chanting Maxwell's Equations with his hands pressed on his ears. Sonic continued to gnaw on an increasingly panicked badnik.

"But...why?" Cubot persisted, only to be forcefully shoved into compact form by his two allies.

Eggman cleared his throat nonchalantly as he leaned on the yellow surface. "On second thought, Team Moronic, maybe I will take your Emeralds by force, since you seem to be in... questionable shape right now."

"We're perfectly-" Knuckles began, then interrupted himself to yank the robot from Sonic's grip and chuck it out of sight. "-perfectly sound!"

Orbot reached up and whispered something into Eggman's ear.

"Spores? Why didn't you tell me sooner!?" Eggman snapped.

Orbot shrugged. "I didn't think it was important."

"You didn't think my nemesis being severely discombobulated was something I'd like to know!?"

Sonic changed the setting on his death glare aimbot from 'Echidna' to 'Megalomaniac'.

"Hey Ottoman! Do I call you names like discoball...di..decoe..descole..."

Knuckles groaned. "Don't hurt yourself."

Sonic jabbed an index finger into the echidna's chest. "Well, Narwhals, I'm gonna kick his boat even if I AM whatever-it-is-he-said. Whaddya have to say to that?!"

"Only that I'm glad Charmy didn't come with us," Knuckles deadpanned.

"Nor Cubutter," added Cubot.

"Well," said Eggman, "I should feel guilty about attacking while you're down, but I've decided to enjoy it instead. Behold!"

He pressed a button. The extra bulk on his vehicle unraveled to reveal a pair of large mechanical hands attached by flexible arms. They clenched and unclenched for dramatic effect.

Tails squinted. "Wait, Eggman…"

"What?"

"Is your robot all thumbs?"

"Look," grumbled the doctor, "those were the scraps I had left over from Big Arms. Getting those proportions right took time!"

Sonic pulled his teammates into a huddle. "Alright, I'll take Agumon, you take Oboe, and you take Cubone."

"Enough stalling," said Eggman. "Time to meet your-"

A large robot crashed through the overgrowth and briefly hovered over the startled assembly. An intermittent purple sparking on its body told the group exactly where the Chaos Emerald was.

One member, however, was more stricken by the fact that it resembled a gargantuan dragonfly. Slack-jawed and visibly weak in the knees, he let out a tiny whimper of joy.

The dragonfly robot flew off, immediately pursued by an obsessed hedgehog.

"Come baaaaaack! I just wanna be friends!"

Eggman looked down at Tails and Knuckles. They looked back at him. Then they all started racing after the robot as well.

Dragonfly robots and blue hedgehogs were impressively swift creatures, but in this case, the whole was less than the sum of its parts. It didn't take long for the other participants to catch up as the robot bucked erratically, trying to dislodge the ravenous creature clinging to the tip of its tail.

"Thank you very much!" called Eggman. He flew up, grabbed the robot's tail with one mechanical hand, and ripped off its 'parasite' with the other.

"Leggo, Eggo!" Sonic hollered, squirming ineffectively.

Knuckles took a running start and trampolined off the nearest mushroom top. He landed fist-first into the Eggmobile, causing it to drop Sonic.

Tails caught him. "Sonic, work with us here!"

"Forget it, Tropes! I'm NOT sharing my dragonfly with you!"

"Nonono, the bug's all yours!" Tails insisted as he frantically caught and re-caught his flailing passenger ad nauseum by random limbs. "We only want its Emerald!"

"Wait, really?"

"I pinky…no, I pillbug promise you!"

Now hanging by his tail, Sonic relaxed and shook his head incredulously. "You're crazy."

"I know," Tails grunted.

Eggman succeeded in swatting Knuckles backwards off his machine, then focused his efforts into wrangling the overpowered robot.

"I got this," said Sonic. He grabbed Tails' hand to swing himself upright, then let go, dropping to where Knuckles was. He didn't quite stick the landing, but the echidna pulled him back up as he ran by.

"We on the same page now?" Knuckles asked with a side glance.

"Yes ma'am! Watch a perfeshunnal at work!"

Sonic flashed Knuckles a thumbs-up, then shot ahead, deftly weaving between branches and other foliage. He then collided with an enormous mushroom cap that would have been clearly visible from Space Colony Ark.

Breaking neither stride nor silence, Knuckles caught the hedgehog flying overhead and threw him forward again.

Intentionally this time, Sonic leapt off the top of a mushroom to grab a dangling vine. He swung around the nearest tree, aiming a hard kick straight for the Eggmobile. Eggman turned his head at the sound of some boisterous Tarzan screaming and swerved out of the way just in time.

Tails caught Sonic, who was still gripping the vine while looking slightly huffy. "Er, maybe try not telegraphing your attacks?" the fox suggested.

The dragonfly took advantage of the distraction and delivered a tail whip to the vehicle presently grabbing it. Eggman wrestled his craft upright as it tumbled backwards, then noticed a heavy crack forming at the top of his glass dome shield.

"Oh come on! My insurance charges an obscene deductible on these things!"

Said crack had a growth spurt when Knuckles backhanded the hovercraft on his pass by.

"YOU HOOLIGANS."

Eggman uprighted his craft yet again and shot after the echidna. In his blind rage he failed to quite process what his target suddenly leapt over until his vehicle snagged on an elastic vine Tails had stretched between two trees.

Knuckles watched the vehicle get flung backwards as he ran alongside Tails. "Where's Sonic?"

Tails pointed up at the sky ahead, where a blue streak was bounding amongst tree boughs and mushroom caps, wrapping a multitude of vines around the dragonfly's limbs.

"Heeeeead and thorax, wings and tail, wings and tail…"

The fox seemed impressed. "Actually, I think we've got the robot under control. Can you handle Eggman for a bit?"

"Gladly."

Tails tossed Knuckles a loose bundle of vine and flew off.

"I'll teach you to dent my creations!" Eggman hollered as he began to catch up.

Knuckles threw the vine lasso around a nearby rock, then continued running until the vine stretched all the way and reversed his direction with a vengeance.

"And I'll teach you to steal my Emerald!"

Eggman shrieked as an angry red cannonball careened towards him.

XXX

Sonic finished tangling the robot and tried to take a bite off its wings, only to be whacked off. He broke his fall by grabbing a vine, then glared suspiciously at the fox that flew up to rejoin him.

"I told you, Tars, it's mine!"

Tails waved his hands in a placating gesture. "Yes, yes, it's yours! But the Emerald is making it too powerful for you to keep! Please hold it still while I remove it."

"Okay," Sonic said, "but I've got my eyes on you."

"Understood," the fox confirmed while dodging the swipe of a giant leg.

Sonic grabbed another vine end and dove towards the robot. "Banzai!"

XXX

"Where's my Emerald!?" Knuckles barked as he sidestepped a fist smashing into the ground.

Eggman sent the other fist into Knuckles' jaw. "Wouldn't you like to know?"

The echidna rolled backwards and tumbled to his feet. Then he charged in again. Running forward, he buffered the strike of one hand with his shoulder, then jumped atop the other arm as it threw a forward punch. He ran along the length of the arm and delivered a solid punch directly to the Eggmobile's cockpit, cracking the windshield further.

A hand yanked him off the cockpit and threw him into the ground. He jumped to his feet, but couldn't avoid both hands clapping together with him in the middle.

Eggman smirked. "And that's how you deal with pests."

The hands began to tremble, then slowly separated as one furious echidna pushed outward.

"Where's. My. Emerald."

Eggman gritted his teeth and pulled the lever further. The hands began to close in again, and Knuckles barely pulled himself out from between them. He dove into the nearby forest.

"That's right, you'd better run," Eggman muttered, not letting his guard down.

A red ball shot from the foliage, only to be clapped together by the giant hands again.

"Ha! You thought I'd fall for that?"

The doctor didn't realize that he'd pureed a midsize mushroom until his actual target crept up from behind the pod, grabbed the base of one arm, and ripped it out.

"Gah! You little-!"

Dodging the still-connected other arm, Knuckles jumped off with his new oversized limb in tow. Eggman threw a mechanical punch, which was driven into the ground when the now-traitorous other arm was swung down like a hammer.

Knuckles tried to run down the connected arm, but Eggman sent a ripple down it that threw him off. The doctor tried to use the opening to swat Knuckles with a wide swing, only for the echidna to retaliate with the same kind of swing.

The hands clasped together, then immediately initiated a thumb war.

Eggman's shoulders drooped. "What in the...I thought I removed that function..."

Knuckles dropped his machinery, darted up to the Eggmobile, and severed the other arm in one concentrated chop. Then he jumped back with the end and swung it around in a full circle. It impacted the windshield, shattering it open as the vehicle tumbled into some brush.

Orbot and Cubot collapsed into themselves as Knuckles dropped his weapon and stalked up to Eggman, breathing heavily. The doctor tried to operate more controls on his console, only to be grabbed by the front of the jacket and lifted up to stare directly into two thoroughly miffed purple eyes. He considered and then promptly vetoed the idea of discussing oral hygiene.

"Here's how this works: keep playing games with me and I'm knocking your sorry hide all the way to Planet Wisp. Tell me where the Master Emerald is and maybe I'll only knock it to Mazuri."

Eggman chuckled nervously. "Knuckles, old chum, I'm not the enemy here. Sonic and Tails-"

Knuckles reared a fist back. "Wrong answer."

"Eek! Okay, okay! It's...it's in Gotham City!"

"Where's that?" Knuckles demanded.

"Er...you know Metropolis, right?"

Knuckles lowered his fist slightly. "Yes…"

"Okay, so you start at Metropolis, then you travel due northeast until you get to Themyscira."

"...where?"

"You'll know it when you get there. So at Themyscira, you want to turn roughly 1337 degrees clockwise, then walk until you reach Thanagar. From there, you travel 623 furlongs southwest until you reach Blüdhaven. Then..."

XXX

Beneath the dragonfly robot, Tails hooked his legs onto a joint in the metal armor and reached up to pry at a suspicious sparking compartment. He then let off a yelp and dropped to avoid a giant tailwhip. It took a few seconds of fumbling to catch his multitool.

"Sonic! Your job is to hold it still!"

"Mfrgrf fmlfnbr mfr bwfm," Sonic retorted haughtily through a mouthful of metal leg. He gave a nearby vine a perfunctory tug.

XXX

"Alright, try reciting the directions back to me."

"You start at Metropolis," Knuckles said as he paced back and forth below, "then you go northeast to Th..Themyscira?...then...wait...you turn how many degrees?"

Eggman took a quick glance at the other fight. "You know, you might want to try writing this down. Got any paper?"

"Uh...no..."

"I've got some," Eggman offered. He leaned over to access his glove compartment while subtly flicking a few levers with his other hand. He then pulled out a paper pad.

"Ah, here, let me sharpen this pencil for you."

The doctor slowly twisted the pencil until he saw a light on his console. Then he handed the items to the echidna.

"Thanks," Knuckles said with a nod. He wrote for a few moments.

"How do you spell Themyscira?"

"T-H-E-R-M-A-L M-I-S-S-I-L-E."

Knuckles copied all the letters down before his head snapped up. "What!?"

A hatch in the Eggmobile opened and fired one large missile, which shot straight upwards.

Eggman smirked wickedly. "I think you know where it's targeted."

Knuckles' eyes widened and he sprinted off towards the other fight.

"TAILS! A missile!"

The fox gasped and turned to his partner. "Sonic, let's go!"

"Mine!" Sonic insisted, clinging to the robot's leg as Tails tried to pull him off.

In the sky, the missile began to dive. Still running towards his friends, Knuckles grabbed the loose end of a tethered vine. Tails finally dislodged Sonic with a kick to the head and a sharp yank, then flew towards Knuckles. Sonic watched in slow motion as the missile broke through the leafy canopy towards the tangled robot.

"No-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o…!"

Tails grabbed Knuckles' extended hand, then the echidna turned around and let the vine yank them backwards. Knuckles running, Tails propelling, and Sonic screaming, the trio shot clumsily away as the missile impacted the robot. They managed a fair amount of distance before the resulting shockwave sent them flying.

Knuckles opened his eyes to see his snout buried in a mushroom. He dislodged it, then shook an orange-brown shoulder nearby. "Tails?"

The fox sat up groggily. "Where's Sonic?"

They finally spotted the hedgehog near the blast zone, kneeling over the fragmented remains of the robot. He remained motionless even as a hoverpod floated past and picked up the purple gem glowing in the midst of the wreckage.

"Thanks for doing my dirty work!" Eggman chuckled.

"You…"

The craft began to fly away. "Destroy you later, hedgehog!"

"...you…"

Tails and Knuckles ran towards the scene just as Sonic rose to his feet.

"...YOU POOPYHEAD!" the hedgehog roared, sprinting after the vehicle and taking a powerful leap off a mushroom cap.

"Ha! Sticks and stones may break my - AAH. NO. WHAT ARE YOU DOING? NOT THE MUSTACHE! OW. WHO'S DRIVING THIS - ARGH"

Knuckles and Tails found joining the fight impossible and could only watch as the Eggmobile jerked at random along the forest, then suddenly took a turbo boost through some heavy foliage. There was a loud series of crashes that eventually faded out of earshot.

They chased after it, following the trail of oddly-shaped holes, until Knuckles suddenly pulled Tails to a halt.

"Ow! Why'd you -"

The fox trailed off upon noticing one such hole in a blue-streaked mushroom trunk. The air around said trunk was slightly discolored.

"Oh dear."

They took a decidedly wide detour around the mushroom and continued chasing the trail until they reached a large grass clearing on the outskirts of the forest.

Eggman was standing shirtless atop his grounded vehicle and had somehow managed to fashion both a hula skirt and toupee out of flowers and other foliage. Cubot had been configured as a karaoke machine, outputting disco lights and ornamental fog while his owner twirled a wireless mic. Orbot watched while drumming his fingers against the vehicle.

"Someday,

One day,

We'll say live life, I know!"

Sonic had apparently advanced in the stages of grief, for he stood swaying alongside the doctor, head bowed and hand raised to the sky. His other hand grabbed the mic Eggman had lowered to share.

"Hold on,

Hold tight!

Don't let go,

Don't lose sight!"

The remaining glass on the Eggmobile shattered and fell off. Meanwhile, Tails and Knuckles realized that they had, in fact, lost sight. They stopped gawking and began to run towards the scene again.

"Your turn!"

Eggman passed off the mic for Sonic's solo, only for him to snore loudly into it. He poked the hedgehog's shoulder to no effect.

"Oi Tonic, that verse comes later … ooh... Orbeez, do we have tonic? I'm parched."

Orbot looked up, suddenly realizing that two guests were about to join them.

"Ah! Doctor, we really should be going."

Eggman squealed. "Hey! Nuggets! Come and party wi-"

Orbot yanked Eggman back into the cockpit and began to engage the levers. His vertical bed now nonexistent, Sonic flopped to the grass like a mannequin molded in lukewarm Jell-O™.

Tails and Knuckles reached the scene just as the Eggmobile took off. Tails checked on Sonic while Knuckles picked up the nearby purple Emerald that had been thrown off and completely forgotten during the rave party.

The two conscious heroes looked in the direction of Eggman's escape to notice for the first time what exactly the pod was flying towards.

The item parked at the edge of the clearing would most concisely have been called a fortress, but Tails briefly considered the idea that someone had poured a lake's worth of hot glue into an abandoned arms factory. The vaguely blimp-like mass consisted of metallic drums, wires, piping, and other equipment in an utterly haphazard arrangement that was somehow held together as one object. Perched atop the fortress stood a civilization's worth of robotic birds, which took flight as soon as the Eggmobile entered through a hollow pipe.

Tails stared as the fortress began to rumble, jostled by the cables linked to every bird. "That thing can't fly," he whispered. "There's just no way…"

Knuckles slung the snoring hedgehog over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. "Well, I'm not waiting until it gets away."

"You want to confront Eggman already? B-but Sonic's out, we don't have all the Emeralds, and we're only at Mushroom Hill! There should be at least five more-"

Knuckles broke into a sprint towards the fortress. "Phooey on the source material," he called behind him. "This ends now."

Author's Notes, 7/20/20:

I spend oodles of time fretting over whether my latest chapter has finally jumped the shark, when in reality the whole thing's been so far gone that I should probably redirect that energy into learning Martian. Anywho, this edition's hope is that none of you has a pet tarantula.

Happy Quarantined Summer! In addition to drawing a subpar cover image and blasting out an entirely different one-shot while writing this chapter...I also binge-watched the entirety of Sonic Boom (thank you, free Hulu trial), and two thoughts have stuck in my mind:

1. Boy howdy, poor Knuckles.

2. I thought I was original. Apparently I'm not, because all of my jokes have been made before. For the record, I've not read the comics nor seen much of the 90s cartoons so if I unknowingly plagiarize those too...well, sorry ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Update, 7/21/20:

Another fanart! What did I ever do to deserve such great readers?

[deviantart dot com]/catthyyours/art/Sonic-The-Adjective-849467482