UPDATED
May 2020

Hello everyone,
I understand this is a difficult time for all of us, hopefully, you are doing everything to protect yourself and your loved ones. I can finally see the light in the tunnel and feel slightly better about the future, but not too much.
This is a rewrite of my story "Finding the Way." I decided to post it as a separate story for those who haven't read the first one, and for those who enjoyed the original. Honestly, I prefer this version. Let me know what you think, please :)

I decided to rewrite this story. The main plot is the same, but there are many changes in the characters on the way. There will be a small surprise at the end of the rewrite. For the past months, I was overworked, but I managed to write a short alternative story to my other long fic.

The original story is not mine it belongs to E.L. James. I'm just playing with the characters and possible courses of action. This story isn't light to read and for some it may be disturbing or even labelled as cheating at some point. If you're new here, you should know that before reading.

The story takes place in November 2011 around six months after they got involved. Ana agreed to sign the contract, but that won't be enough for her. We can see them trying to define their relationship to suit both of their needs. I had fun writing it and hopefully you're going to enjoy it, although some chapters were hard to write or even think about. Anastasia has a bit different background and a few minor changes. It'll start slow, but it's on purpose.

Cheers
~M

Chapter 1

APOV

I spent the last few months in the maze. These months were absolutely crazy. I graduated from University and moved to Seattle. I started working as a fulltime interpreter in French and I felt lucky that I found the job I had always dreamt of. It was consuming and exhausting at times, but I wouldn't trade it for anything. I lived with my best friend Kate, and our friendship had its ups and downs. We met in our freshmen year. I was probably paranoid, but I had an uneasy feeling that someone was watching me. The weirdest of all changes to my life was my arrangement with Christian Grey which has been my biggest secret from everyone. It wasn't a regular dating thing; it was only focused on power exchange nothing more and nothing less.
The transition from university life to adulthood was rough. I immediately moved and I was committed to someone. I felt a lot of pressure at times. I've tried to keep in touch with my sister and my friends, but I felt like I was failing everyone. It was too much. I felt so lonely and lost. I didn't have a land to stand on. It was hard, but I couldn't neglect my friends. I had very few close people around me. I couldn't lose them. I felt guilty about my condition and weakened form all this stress. There weren't many people who could remind me about the beauty of simple things in life. Kate was one of definitely one of them.

"You know you should socialise a bit more? You're constantly away. I hardly ever see you nowadays." Kate was nagging me to go out with her for a hundredth time this month. Truth be told, I didn't have much time for socialising. My schedule was almost always full. I looked at Kate and I saw she was worried about me. She shouldn't be. She was also constantly busy. I needed to be dedicated to what I do. I wanted to give only the best of me. I hoped I could do that for her today. I wanted to show to her that I can be a good and carefree friend, to a certain extent. It's been a while since we had some time as just roomies.

"It's just not my thing, Katie. You know I don't like pubs or bars. I'm always down for board games or watching something online." I felt like I hurt her a bit. I knew where it was coming from. She always made me feel included and needed, but she sometimes couldn't understand that crowds overwhelm me. Clubbing was never my thing. I always felt endangered when I was in crowded spaces. Besides, Grey didn't like me going to clubs and I promised I wouldn't do that too often.

"You don't have to drink any alcohol. I'm not going to push you." Wait after first three rounds. 'And one for Ana. Don't you want to drink with your best friend?' Yeah, been there, done that.

"I'm the driver, remember?" I waved with keys and she quickly palmed herself. It was the only way I wanted to go. "Congratulations, Katie. I love how much you tend to forget my main condition about clubbing." I mocked her. I didn't want to miss the opportunity to spend time with her, but I wished she was more willing to spend some time the way I enjoyed. My introversion was boring for most people and I was really trying to fit in. However, I couldn't wear the extrovert mask for a long time. It had to fall down after a few hours at most.

"Come on, let's have some fun! José and Claire are coming, and Ethan will be there as well." I smiled at the thought of Kate's brother. It was a rarity that he was in the city. I missed him. He is a psychologist for almost two years now, and I knew it was his vocation. His parents hoped he would take over the family media business, but it turned out that Kate was more willing to do that, therefore she graduated journalism and media. "I even asked Alex if she could come." I heard Kate add quickly. My eyes shot to hers. I haven't seen her for more than a month and I felt extremely guilty about that. I totally forgot to call her. I saw she tried to call me a few times, but I never called her back. I was screwed.

"I'll do my best. Get ready." She noticed I really gave in and stopped annoying me for about half an hour.

I liked my friends, but I felt like I didn't totally belong with them. They were so positive, full of joy and energy and I could not find the reason why I could not get on with them for a longer period. Only Al didn't fit into that description. She was withdrawn and guarded. Nobody could penetrate her armour, not even me. I wasn't that shy anymore, but it was still a challenge for me. I'm strong and competent in my job and I know I'll be better although there's still so much to learn. I told this to myself for so long. I wasn't that frightened student who was sent last-minute to do an interview with one of the richest people in the States anymore. I would deal with that better now. I knew it. He taught me a lot of things.

I quickly changed into comfortable jeans and a cream jumper. I pulled my hair into a ponytail and put a bit of makeup to look presentable.

"I'll be ready in five!" I glanced at my watch. There was no fucking way she'd be able to get herself ready in such a short notice. She's already been in the bathroom for an hour.

The pub was located quite near our flat. It was only a thirty-minute ride. Seattle was big, so that time meant nothing. My way to my office often took me over an hour. I sometimes did translation jobs. Driving at night wouldn't be much of a problem. I've done that so many times over the years. The pub was relatively quiet because it was still very early. The party wouldn't start for at least two hours. I understood that it gave us some time to chat without having to repeat the same information over loud people and music. I was ecstatic to see Ethan again. He was like a brother to me.

"Can't believe you made it today. Great to see you" I gave him a short hug and exchanged a few kind words.

"Same here, look after Kate, she's in the mood for partying hard today." I gave him a meaningful look. He knew his sister very well and he understood there were moments when she wanted to be completely wasted.

I made sure they had their drinks and we finally caught up with our lives. I collected their orders because I knew I would be able to help them out and that I wouldn't have to listen to their drunken chat. Alex was also there, and she had only one drink. She was always very aware of herself and stayed in control. We didn't exchange more than just a few sentences. I knew she didn't blame me for not calling, her life was always busy. It just… it felt wrong of me that I hid things from her. She was my family and she had right to know what was going on in my life.

"I'm glad Kate called me. She finally gave me an excuse to go out. I don't remember when was the last time when I did that." She mostly worked from home. There were moments when she didn't leave her home for over a week. She was an IT specialist and a damn good one. I couldn't be prouder of her. She and Ray always encouraged me to be ambitious and I'll be forever grateful for their support.

"Yeah, me too. Look, I'm sorry I didn't call you; I was just busy with work…" I felt horrible while lying to her. I knew I had no other choice. An NDA was in place, but I wanted her to know that I regretted that.

I took another round of shots for my friends and returned to our table. Kate and Ethan had no idea what was going on in my head. They were too busy talking about Ethan's new job. I quickly checked if there were no messages waiting for me from Mr. Grey. Nope.

He was the reason I was acting distant lately. I couldn't break the rules. They were set for a reason. I had to be more careful and vigilant if I wanted to please him. It was difficult, but I wanted to make an effort for him. I let him know I was going out with my friends. It was my Friday evening off. That meant I was going to sleep at Grey's on Monday to make up for today. That was how we set it. Then I felt the vibration in my pocket. I read the message. Have fun and be careful Ms. Steele

I blushed and smiled at his short message. It wasn't usual for him not to ask further questions but wish me a good evening. At first, I didn't think it could work between the two of us, but we made that work somehow. He was strict and demanding, but I learnt to read some of his reactions and subtle signs he was giving me. He was devoted to me and he made sure my needs were met before and after the scenes. I enjoyed that balance in our relationship He made me feel beautiful and safe. However, I was falling for him and that was something I should never show if I didn't want all of this to be over. I was looking at José's fiancée and I couldn't stop smiling at their sight. Their love was blatant since they entered the pub.

"Have you set the date?" I asked Claire. I was expecting some excitement and optimism, but I was taken differently. She probably knew about José's attempts to date me while in college. Jeez, lady he's yours, take him!

"We're not in a hurry. Time will tell." Claire huffed at me and I simply brushed it off. I had more important things on my mind than Claire's mood swings.

After each shot Kate was becoming more and more straightforward and open. Obviously, she asked me to take a shot. Obviously, I said 'no.' She wanted to dance, and she suggested changing the place. No fucking way.

"Kate, you're barely able to walk. If you like, you can stay here, but I think we should call it a night soon." She pouted, and I knew that an argument was about to arise.

"Don't you dare, Steele! It's too early to head home. Bring me another shot!" Claire and Ethan immediately agreed. I sighed in defeat and decided not to take it personally. Kate was going to regret that in the morning but that wasn't my role to parent her. She was an adult woman who could take care of herself, as she was constantly trying to prove to everyone. She should act responsibly; however, I wasn't the person who would execute her improved behaviour. However, I couldn't just stand by and do totally nothing.

"Are you sure?" She nodded" I'll bring water along and you're going to drink that first." She agreed without complaints. It took me a few minutes because there were many people at that time and moving around wasn't the most comfortable thing to do. Glad I was short. I was about ten metres form the table when I lost my balance and I spilled water over the man in front of me. What was odd, the bottle for the group was intact. I felt so ashamed and even more when I saw it was Grey. He probably thought I was drinking. I needed to sort this out. I muttered 'sorry.' I waited for him to say something more. In public we didn't act as if we knew each other. He wouldn't be pleased if I said a few words more than I should, but I instantly understood why he was there. He was keeping an eye on me and I wasn't sure if that was a good thing. I was with friends all the time; I didn't have a single shot. I was only there to keep them company. Responsible and calm as always. I knew he liked that about me, he only needed to correct me once for excessive drinking. I wasn't going to repeat that mistake ever again. It was the first time he came to see me outside of our weekends. It was a weekend night, but I was to make up for it on Monday. It felt heart-warming in some way, but odd in another. He provoked that situation. I acted the best I could.

"I'm so sorry. I'll get this clean right now." I moved to a counter and asked for a cloth or something and another water. He led to a different part of the pub and raised my chin so I would look at him. Then, he kissed me tenderly on the lips and released me.

"So good to see you, Ms Steele. You look fantastic, as always." I noticed his cheeky smile. I wasn't sure how to act or what to say, but I wanted him to be honest with me.

"Why are you here, Mr. Grey?" I was sure he'd tell me. He trusted me as much as I trusted him. It was an exchange, not only one person giving, one taking. We both expected honesty and directness.

"I wanted to see you. I missed you, Anastasia." He said matter-of-factly. He placed another kiss, but this time on the cheek I touched his face, closed my eyes, and smiled. I looked around and we were far from my group. Besides, nobody cared about us. We looked just like many other people casually talking to one another, sharing two briefs, yet fantastic kisses. The thing was that we weren't like others. There were days I was thinking if we weren't a real relationship at all, like everything we had was just an illusion I had in my mind. We had fun from time to time, but for most of our time together I was his submissive. The outlines of our arrangement were established firmly, and I wasn't planning on blurring the boundaries. I wanted more, but I wasn't sure where I was standing. He agreed to give me 'more' than his other submissives, and I saw that he was trying, but in the end, I was just another number. I appreciated his efforts to be a good boyfriend despite being his controlling self. I was still his dirty little secret.

"I missed you too, but that was my day off as we set this month." I said quietly. I wasn't allowed to call him by his given name, but when in public, I didn't address him as my Sir. He only nodded and he seemed sad at my remark. He took a closer look on me and nodded in approval.

"I thought I'd find you drunk after you spilled that water over me, but I didn't sense any alcohol on you. I will reward you for your responsibility, Ms Steele." I instantly felt something warming up inside me when he said his compliment.

"Thank you very much. It might be because I don't drink today. I'm driving. There's no need to check up on me in situations like these. I can handle myself." He raised a brow and I bit my tongue right after that. Think what you're saying. He brushed my ponytail with his fingers, and he was watching me carefully. He didn't like the way I spoke to him but didn't call me out on it." I didn't cross a line. He was lost in thoughts for a while, but when we spoke his voice was gentle and warm.

"I was thinking. Would you come tonight to sleep with me after you take everybody home? We won't be playing tonight. I only want to have you around." I nodded.

"Yes, I'd like to come to spend the night with you. I'm really sorry about the shirt. Seriously, did you only come here because you miss me?" I was going to see him at nine but coming earlier was a nice perspective.

"Thank you, lovely. Of course, I missed my Angel. I'm grateful for your time on your night off. Don't worry about the shirt." It was the first time he called me his Angel. I was always his little one or his pet. I didn't show it moved something in me, but I hid my smile.

"I had some fun time with my brother who's right now talking to Ms Kavanagh." He glanced over my shoulder and I turned to look at the man talking to Kate. He didn't look like Christian at all and I could see he was having a good time with Kate. Knowing Kate, I'll have one passenger less on the way back. I should've known this would end like this.

"I'll be there. I should go back to my people now. See you later, and sorry again." As I expected, nobody noticed I was gone for a few minutes and Kate was full of new energy, as fucking always. José and Claire have already left, and I wanted to head out as well.

"Alex, are you staying for long?" I asked my sister when she came back from the restroom.

"I don't think so, Ana. I have a lot of work to do and I'm on my own and behind schedule. You can drop by someday you know. I've missed you. Don't be a stranger." I knew she was genuinely worried. Whenever she was trying to reach me, I was brushing her off and when I should call her, I was pushing that aside on my priority list. She was especially important to me, but it didn't feel right to bother her too much with my problems. She had too many of her own probably. I was always the worse sister. She was the one smart, with good grades and bright future ahead, fantastic professional and defying cultural norm feminist. That sounded like I was jealous, but that wasn't it. I was only lost. I didn't think I should be a part of her life. She deserved someone different than me.

"I'll be there. Thanks a lot for coming, sis." She hugged me goodbye and left leaving me with Ethan and Kate who weren't paying much attention to either of us.

"I asked if she wanted to go home and she said she's staying with the guy she met. I'll order a cab when we'd be leaving. You're exhausted so just take the car and go home. Is that okay with you Ana?" I nodded. It was fine, I wouldn't have to worry about telling her where I spent the night. I left the pub and I quickly returned home. I quickly freshened up and headed to Escala. I entered the foyer and found Mr. Grey waiting for me. It was late. I wasn't expecting him to wait at that time. I immediately fell to my knees longing to serve him. I felt his eyes on me and helped me rise to my feet.

"Thank you for coming to me so soon, pet." He stroked my hair and pulled them to a side.

"How was your evening, Sir?" I was curious if our short meeting was equally out of ordinary for him as it was for me.

"Tiring very much, but it's perfect now. How about you? Did you enjoy it?" Christian faked his displeasure with Elliot, but right after that he looked at me with his piercing grey eyes.

"The best I had in years. Seriously, it was just like all the others with Elliot. Each time he tells me to get laid and each time he's too busy talking to some girl than to me." I felt a mocking tone in his voice. That was clear, he was close with him and the Elliot was high on his trustworthy people list.

"I have the same thing with Kate. This time she even called my sister to come. That was very thoughtful of her. We hardly ever see each other."

"Yes, it was. You miss her and your friends. Now I'll run you a bath and I'll take you to bed." He paused for a while as if he hesitated. "My bed this time, pet." He run me a bath and we spent about half an hour in a complete silence. As always, I surrendered my body to him and found myself at peace. His hands were soft and cosy. I knew he wouldn't hold me in his arms due to haphephobia, but he gave me as much as he could. He praised me for my responsibility and granted me permission to come as a reward. It didn't happen very often for him to be gracious with his permission. I needed to earn it. I was grateful he seemed to enjoy our arrangement. There were moments I had no doubt I was his sub, but there were also moments when I was speaking up, when we were arguing on petty things as cooking, so it seemed balanced to me. It didn't happen often, and it seemed to me that there was the man I fell for. when I was with him, he was the only thing that had the right to stay in my mind. I was here to please him, to put my trust in his hands and to find peace. He prepared a quick bath and massaged my tired back. There wasn't anything sexual about it, but I loved being his and trust him with the deepest part of me. Grey took his time and he kept his word about only relaxing. He just wanted to get some sleep with me. I texted Kate to remind her about being careful.

"Thank you, Sir, for making the end of this day so intimate. Do you have anything special planned for tomorrow?" I asked him with wide-open eyes. I couldn't wait till tomorrow. Whenever he was allowing me to sleep with him that meant so much to me. It almost seemed like we were regular people who enjoyed spending time in one's company, or at least that was how I saw it.

"You'll see, my lovely pet. For now, just rest." I turned so he was behind my back; I took his hand in mine and immediately drifted away.

As always, he woke up before me. I quickly took care of my morning routine and after fifteen minutes I looked at my phone and realised I overslept. It was almost ten in the morning and I didn't wake up in time. I shouldn't have messed up like this. I had to make breakfast for us and to check up on my friend. Based on her recent texts, Kate was fine and happy and still at Elliot's. That reassurance was enough. I only hoped I wouldn't see fluffy pink pyjamas anytime soon.

I didn't find Christian in the kitchen. That meant he was either in his study, or he went running. It was the latter. After a few minutes I saw him entering the foyer and I noticed he was all in sweat. It must've been a long run.

"I'm sorry I didn't get up earlier. I didn't set the alarm, Sir." He gave me a brief smile and observed me for a while before he spoke.

"Don't worry, Ms. Steele. I'm glad you are well-rested. I've just come home, and I woke up only an hour before you. Could you fix us something, please?" I quickly prepared a sub for him while he was under shower. If I could please him by only making him food, he'd be forever satisfied. I had it separately because he took it and run to his study. I sighed but didn't say a word. It was normal for him. He was constantly wanted for something. He joined while I was still eating, and we were sitting in the kitchen together and we laughed like the good old friends.

Unfortunately, that idyllic moment was too good to last for too long. We noticed Taylor entering the room and announcing to us the arrival of Mrs. Lincoln. God, I hated that woman. However, my Master expects me to treat her with proper respect and I'm doing this for him, not for myself.

"Ms. Lincoln is on her way up." I wasn't happy to hear that. We were trying to make the weekends ours, or maybe rather Christian was trying to make them his. Not that I minded. There was something about that woman that made me feel uncomfortable, but I never said it out loud. She was a dominant as well and I felt it in her presence, but not in a positive way. She scared me; she was too intense. Grey was also very intense, but I always knew he'd be there for me and that I was his priority. I stood up to take our plates and put them into the dishwasher. Elena Lincoln was in her fifties, but she was taking good care of herself. Some of that was due to owning an exclusive beauty salon chain in Seattle and other Northwest cities. Unfortunately, she should give a pass of some beauty treatments. Not everything helped her. She was wearing plain black suit and had many golden rings on her fingers. I looked like a total opposite of her. A cold shiver ran through my spine, there was something scary about her. She had her Domme aura, but that wasn't it. I felt safe and protected with Christian, but I wouldn't like to be alone with her for too long.

She came to greet us. I should actually say, to greet him. She didn't like me. She proved her point by quickly taking the place where I was sat just a few minutes ago. I wanted to tell her off, but I didn't want to sound rude to her, or rather I didn't want to disappoint Christian. I knew he wouldn't approve. I gritted my teeth, took a deep breath, and threw her out of my mind.
Grey wanted me to always be polite and I was trying to respect that wish as much as I could.

"What a surprise, Elena. You didn't inform me you were going to come here today." Christian said in a friendly tone although there was a mild hint of irritation in his voice. Elena didn't notice that, although for me that was evident. He didn't like his plans interrupted whatever he had in mind. I was up to anything just to be around him.

"I think that the circumstances are too important to discuss it on the phone." She had his attention and I really hoped I'd be excused.

"Would you like anything to drink?" He looked at me and I my hopes about leaving them alone crushed. I had to stay and listen to that woman.

"Black coffee, please." She spoke without looking at me.

"Anything for you, Sir?"

"No, thank you, Angel." I reached the coffee maker and made it and I wondered what was so important that she came without invitation. She must've known he was with me at the weekend and she shouldn't be surprised to see me. She knew about Christian's lifestyle and she was his closest friend. I didn't like her, but mostly kept my opinion to myself. She didn't mind me running around, she expected that. It was okay for her and she always reminded me that I was only a sub. For her it didn't mean much, but for him it did. I wasn't a right; it was a privilege he took care of. Christian didn't answer to her remark. I wasn't only that to him. I knew he cared for me. I felt it. We've been together for over six months. Christian was thinking about extending our contract indefinitely. He asked me about it one day after a scene and I didn't give him a straight answer. I still had some time till the end of our contract, but I wasn't sure what to do. We had to sit down and have a serious negotiation about our limits and expectations. I had to decide if I could go on like this long term. I didn't want to fall too hard, but it was already too late for me.

"Here you are, Mrs. Lincoln" I put the cup in front of her and without looking at them I moved to leave them alone to give them privacy. I took not more than five steps when I heard His voice behind me.

"I don't recall excusing you, Ms. Steele." I sighed but managed to keep my face neutral when I turned so, he could see my face. I quickly composed myself and came closer to Christian. He was silent and I felt his eyes on me. I waited for his instructions, but nothing came. He kissed me on the lips and acted like Mrs. Lincoln wasn't there. She had to interrupt us. I groaned when I heard her voice.

"You're being too soft on her. You've had her for too long to have situations like these. Maybe you should remind your pet about her place." I tightened my fist, but one look from Grey told me to let go. I hated when she was doing that. I felt like an intruder then, but I felt like I needed to be out of there. He was about to say something to her, but I was first.

"May I speak freely?" Grey nodded. "I thought you'd prefer to speak in private and I didn't want to impose. If I displeased you, Sir, I'm sorry. May I be excused, please?" I waited for the answer for a few seconds. My tone wasn't as controlled as I hoped. I was probably in trouble and he would deal with that as soon as she leaves. Christian hesitated if he wanted to let me go or not. He was thinking about keeping me there, I felt it. These moments were hard for us because that was when he was lost about who I was to him. He was trying to give me 'more,' but there were clearly moments he wasn't sure.

"It's okay, Anastasia. You're right. I'll come to your room when we're finished." I left them as fast as I could. I wanted to obey and go straight to my room, but something stopped me. I didn't mean to eavesdrop on them, but it happened anyway. He would discipline me anyway; I could take a bit more.

"I don't like her." I heard Mrs. Lincoln's voice. Not that I was surprised. The feeling was very much mutual. She seemed like a predator for me and I wanted to hide somewhere whenever possible. "She's a brat. She needs more training. I can help you if you want. I'm exceptionally good with cheeky submissives."

"You don't have to like her. She isn't yours. She's actually my best choice, Elena. You could be nicer to her, you know. Well, I demand that from now on. You will treat her with proper respect. By disrespecting her you're disrespecting me." I wish I had seen her reaction to his words.

"Christian, please… I don't think she's right for you… You need someone better than her. I can have someone ready for you next week or contact someone you really liked. She's too straightforward. No, she's just terrible. I think I taught you better than that… For crying out loud, she's just a sub." I rolled my eyes. I wish I heard Grey's answer. I knew that in her opinion I shouldn't be able to speak at all, and live only to serve, but I wasn't like that. Submission wasn't like that and she failed to see that which only added to her creep vibes. I didn't want to risk coming closer, I was already on thin ice.

"Why did you come here, Elena?"

"Recent statements are upsetting. I need you to go through them, but other than that I wanted to ask you if you wanted to look for someone new."

"I'll help you with papers and I'll pretend I didn't the latter part of what you said." I decided to finally do what I was told and give them privacy. It was their business not mine. I felt nothing but hatred towards this woman which was unusual for me. I've never had so much intense negative feelings for anyone in my life. She brought up the worst in me. He won't like the fact that I disobeyed him like this. Calm down. He'll take care of me. I thought he enjoyed spending time with me, and yet I was mostly a sub for him, the girlfriend part was non-existent.

I went to my room and took a few minutes on the bed to process the events of the morning., but it took him longer than I thought. I skimmed the books on the shelf next to a desk. Most of them were my favourites. He took them from his library to make me feel more comfortable whenever I wanted to read. I also brought some of my books which were on my to-be-read books for relaxation after aftercare or when he was busy and I was alone for a longer moment, like now. I read the titles on the covers and found a small cobalt blue hardcover notebook. It had small flowers on the spine and a silver finishing. There was nothing written on it except for roman "I" on the first page, written in navy ink. It was beautiful, but I felt like it was something I shouldn't read. I haven't seen that before, but I still haven't read all the books here. It was small, so it was easy to miss. I opened it and understood it was a journal of sorts. It was dated back to 2009 and it was written in a neat delicate handwriting. There were no dates, there were codes, which I couldn't decipher. I shouldn't read that. I knew for sure it wasn't Grey's handwriting. The letters were in italics, which seemed old-fashioned, but elegant. That woman saw writing as an art, not just a mean that is considered outdated. I couldn't miss the fact she used a fountain pen. It was written by a woman. I read a page and I realised it was written one of his subs. But why would he leave it in here? I didn't understand that. I put it back and lay on the bed waiting for him to come. He surely wasn't going to spend the entire day with her, was he? I checked my texts and Kate confirmed she was safe and sound, and the night was fabulous. I was wondering what I was going to do with this little book. I knew it was wrong, but I wanted to read it. I wanted to understand him better.

I heard a knock and he pulled me back to the real world so hard that jumped on the bed. He came in and sat beside me. I could see when he was asking me as a friend and when he was checking up on me as a Dom. He knew I was upset with her visit. I felt like she wanted to hurt me and on more than one occasion he confirmed that my feelings were correct.

"Is something bothering you Ms. Steele?"

"I'm still a bit tired about yesterday and I'm confused about Mrs. Lincoln. I was sure you didn't want me there, Sir."

"It's okay, Anastasia. I was also confused when she came. I didn't mean to put you in an uncomfortable position." He said softly while holding my hand, but his voice changed. "What I don't understand is why you didn't do what you were told and eavesdropped the conversation that was supposed to be private?" I gulped. It was obvious he'd know. I didn't try to deny it. That would be a lie and I didn't feel like lying to him, ever.

"I don't know. I think I was curious what she wanted to say." I was looking down the entire time and I was feeling worse with every second. I turned so he could see my back, but he didn't comment on my behaviour. I felt his hand on my back and I wasn't sure what he was going to do.

"Anastasia, look at me." I knew what was coming. We would soon be over this and we'd forget about the entire situation. I knew I could handle the punishment; it wasn't going to be that serious. I knew my offences were minor. I've handled worse. Like for example when I was walking home past midnight, on my own and didn't call anyone to take me home. That one was bad one. I literally couldn't sit for about a week. "Your tone earlier was inappropriate, and you disobeyed me. However, I want you fairly comfortable today, so I'll use my hand on you." I positioned myself over his knew and took them without a word. He didn't tell me to speak or count. I was fine with what he gave me, and I understood my mistake. He took care of me and I could forget about my past infraction. It was all forgiven and gone.

"Thank you, Sir." I said when I swallowed a pill and rested my head on his shoulder.

"Today, it's Christian. I have plans for us today, Anastasia. We're leaving soon, so get ready. We're going out." With that he was gone. I quickly put on warm sweater and jeans. He didn't mention anything specific so I figured that would be fine. I found him waiting in the foyer with a kind smile. I couldn't resist but to smile back. He took my hand and we left the penthouse.

I was silent in the car, but it was because I was excited. I felt Christian seemed to have forgotten about Elena and he looked at me in a way I couldn't quite understand. I didn't know what to say exactly. My backside was sore, but it wasn't bad. I knew why he corrected me, and I wasn't going to repeat that mistake again. We stopped roughly ten miles from the city. I liked that we escaped from all the buzz. I looked forward to whatever was going to happen.

"Anastasia, you're perfect." He said so quietly I almost thought it was in my imagination. He turned to me and took some hairs off my face. I wasn't looking at him. I was buried in my own thoughts.

"Am I?" I blurted out unable to stop myself. My voice was harsher than I intended. I felt his eyes on me and I looked at him to find his eyes full of emotions he could never name.

"Of course, Anastasia." He left the car and opened the door on my side. I joined him, and we went for a long walk. It was cold outside, but we had hot coffee and we had enough pauses on the way. We weren't in a hurry. I enjoyed being in his company. I wondered if I should tell him about what I found in my room but chose to leave it for another day. We were walking for several miles. We talked about my teenage years and the reason I chose my major. It was late when we were returning to Escala. This trip caught me off-balance and I didn't know what to think about it. I liked it much more than I probably should.

Let me know what you think and see you very soon.
~Mila