The squad was nowhere near close to figuring out who was the "big boss" everyone seemed so afraid of. Their undercover plan did bring them to a woman, Selena, who dealt with all the incoming underage girls but she was tight lipped.

"That was for nothing," Amanda all but groaned in frustration after forcibly releasing Selena for booking. She dropped into her desk chair. "She didn't say anything."

"She didn't have to," Olivia said. "You saw the look of terror on her face when her own lawyer walked in the room? She's scared to death."

"Either way, she works for those pimps. She had to know about Ellie, she had to know about that 14-year-old girl, Missy," Sonny then threw Montserrat a look, "And the shooting attempt on Montse."

"We're done with that," she reminded. "But he's right about the other stuff. Whatever Selena's become, she had to have started out like those other girls."

"That's who she was," Fin corrected her. "It's not who she is now. She's a victimizer now. We have to build a case against her. Only way we'll get her to flip on the boss."

"With any luck," Montserrat added with a sigh. The whole case was full of knots and nothing could be solved.

"Let's talk with Luna to see what she has to say about Selena," Olivia said after a moment's thought. "The more insight we get, the more answers we can get."

~0~

Luna turned out to be a very young girl. Montserrat felt sick to her stomach just hearing her story. Sometimes, the job really was a lot. Luna continuously shifted on Olivia's office couch, as if retelling the story was disgusting enough. And it probably was.

"Everybody knows Selena," Luna wrinkled her nose in disgust. "She's in charge of us. But now she thinks she's better because she works for them. She used to be like us. She tells me it's my fault I'm a whore."

"Your fault?" Montserrat repeated, raising an eyebrow. What could Selena possibly say to justify what happened to Luna?

" She asks how could I be so stupid," Luna was close to tears. "In our village, Vargas, every girl knew it could happen. And I did what my mother said. I never wore makeup. I tried to look ugly, no dresses. And when the Narcos come, you hide."

"It's okay," Olivia assured the girl to keep going.

"One day, I was hiding with my kitten when she ran away. I climbed out after her, and they took me. Just after my first communion."

"Now hold on," Montserrat said before they would really lose the girl. "You said 'our village'...what does that…?"

Luna nodded in understanding. "Selena was one of the first girls taken. Everybody knew her story. She was at the market one day with her mother, and she let go of her mama's hand. And that was it. And everybody knew she got taken to Tenancingo. Same place I got taken." When Luna finished her story, Olivia thought it best to move the direction of their case. Perhaps it was better to start where it all originated from.

~0~

Tenancingo, as it turned out, had a lot to be told about. Rafael had the entire squad gathered at the bullpen's conference table to go into full detail about that city.

"Tenancingo is the epicenter for sex trafficking in Mexico. Pimping is their main industry. It is a very poor village, shack after shack after shack." He went through a series of pictures for the squad to get the idea. "Except for these mansions." There was a pause to show the elegant-looking homes he mentioned. "They're five stories high, turreted, gates. Pagoda rooftops. I spoke to a federal task force looking into this. The traffickers make so much money, they build these huge houses. Their mothers live there, a few guards, and the children."

"Children of kidnapped girls," Olivia sourly chimed in.

"So they have mansions in Mexico. How's this help us take down this crew?" asked Fin.

"I'm just getting to that," Rafael promised as he moved the pictures along. "The task force was able to ID three owners. The first, shot to death in Tijuana last April. The second is a relative of a respected member of the town council. And the third they claim is somewhere in the U.S., possibly New York. Teodoro Juarez, 35."

The entire squad had froze in their spots once they saw the third picture of a man, a very familiar man.

"Son of a bitch," the words tumbled out from Sonny.

Rafael began to notice their looks, including Montserrat. She seemed close to snapping and...

"Where the hell were you 10 hours ago!?" She exclaimed.

"What?" was his natural response. He was already on thin ice with her and now there was something else added to the list?

"That's Angel," Amanda pointed at the picture. "Teodoro Juarez is known to us as Angel Perez. He owns Quickride, the car service the girls use."

"So he wasn't just transporting, he's trafficking," Sonny could not believe they had missed the huge point.

"He vandalized his own office to throw us off and it worked," Montserrat frowned. "How are we going to get to him? He's ruthless, he doesn't think twice about kidnapping young girls, raping them, and holding their babies hostage so no one is going to testify against him."

"Hold on," Olivia said with new thoughts. "That might be our way in. These girls, they've given up on themselves. But what about the babies? Does the task force have eyes on the ground?"

Rafael nodded. "And in the air."

"So can they tell us how many kids are hidden inside Angel's mother's house. And who they are?"

Once more, he nodded.

Olivia thought for a short minute until she had a clear way of doing things. "Okay. We're going back to Selina and as soon as Little Tino is conscious we'll be there."

"Why go back to Selina?" Amanda made a gesture with her hand, indicating it was a lost cause. "She's not talking."

"Not with her lawyer present," Olivia smile with a clear intention in mind. "How fast can you drop the charges against her?" she asked Rafael. "Let her plea down, at least."

Rafael looked at her for a moment, almost seeming as if he was deciding whether or not she was joking. "Uuh, why...would I want to do that?"

"Because if her lawyer isn't there, she'll talk to us. So, how fast can you do it?"

"I guess pretty fast," Rafael nodded. "Minimum she'll had to do 2 days, though."

"We can wait," Olivia's smile was almost scary with how confident she seemed.

And in two days, Rafael had followed through. Selina's charges had been lowered to something pesky that wouldn't require her lawyer at her side. It gave Olivia the perfect chance to speak with her about her son - the only thing Selina cared about in the world.

And in two days, Little Tino was up and talking again and it was Montserrat who took her chance.

"You're gonna transfer me to Michigan, right?" the man asked as soon as Montserrat brought the papers they needed him to sign. She made Sonny give her a moment with the criminal, promising it would only be for a short minute. "Before anything happens," Montserrat grabbed the seat next to his hospital bed, "I want to know a couple things that you know."

"But I already told you," Little Tino gestured to the papers in front of him as proof.

"Not about the case," Montserrat shook her head. "I want to know how you knew about me the first day that we met. And don't play games with me because right now I hold the keys to your future. So tell me a lie and you're going to stay right where you are."

Little Tino was no blatant idiot. He knew where his best shot of survival was. "Everyone knows you," he said quietly; the smile on his face sickened Montserrat. "At least everyone who needs to know you knows you. You took down D'Amico's ring but Daniel took over shortly afterwards."

Montserrat automatically cringed at the horrible name. She made sure that she never had to hear that name again after everything.

"He's at the top of the food chain right now, along with my boss. One runs the girls, the other runs the drugs. Daniel made a rule: no one hurts the pretty Slovakian detective named Novak or they answer to him."

Montserrat couldn't help the tears in her eyes. He was protecting her? She actually wanted to vomit right now. Her face certainly showed signs of wanting to gag.

"And there's only one of you in the line of detectives, Novak, so it's not hard to follow the rule," Little Tino shrugged. He didn't appear to know more and that was the only thing Montserrat could take consolation in. Not everyone knew and with luck, no one would ever find out. "Of course since someone took a shot at you, I guess Daniel's going to be pretty pissed."

"Stop!" Montserrat unintentionally shouted. "Just stop talking!" She thought that she could take hearing the truth but she was so wrong. It still made her feel as terrible as she had the first day her nightmare started. She'd almost forgotten how low she'd felt but it was all coming back to her.

"You asked me-" Little Tino angrily snapped, but Montserrat continued to shout.

"Stop! Shut up!"

Sonny practically burst into the room with his gun in hand, having assumed the worst. He lowered his gun when he saw Montserrat sitting in her seat unharmed. "What happened?"

Montserrat quickly shook her hadn't got up from her chair. "Nothing! Get him to sign the papers!" She rushed out of there without looking back.

~0~

As soon as Olivia had everything, she sent the entire squad to collect Angel before he got away. They caught him in his own house, quite literally about to make an escape in the driveway.

"I said I wasn't talking, now get the hell out of here! You're trespassing!" Angel still had the audacity to tell when the cops swarmed his mansion.

"Put your hands up! Put 'em on that car!" Olivia pointed her gun straight at him.

"Secure the house! Go around back!" Fin was giving orders to a few more of the crew with them.

"What is this?" Angel looked incredulous as he watched the cops raid his house. "I told you, I'm not talking to you!"

"You're going to have to. We have a warrant," Montserrat was eager to say to watch first-hand his expression.

"You can't do this. He's done nothing wrong!" Angel's wife fired from the side. She would've ran at them but Amanda yanked her back.

"It's over, Angel," Olivia said. "We arrested your mother in Tenancingo for kidnapping. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you."

Angel shook his head, appearing like this was just a petty inconvenience. "Mira, call the lawyers!"

His wife wrestled free from Amanda's grip and nodded. "I will."

"You know this is stupid, right?" Angel looked directly at Olivia. "I know where you live. I know about that baby. From one parent to another, you don't want to do this."

"You threatening my sergeant's kid?" Montserrat walked a bit closer, her hands gripping her gun. "I'd rethink that if I were you!"

Angel seemed likely to defy them, but as soon as he made a sudden move a noise rang and shot him on the forehead. His wife screamed and ran towards him, but Olivia and Montserrat remained in their spots, stunned. They looked at each other to make sure they weren't wrong, and they weren't. Neither of them had made the shot.

So who had?

"Liv!?" Fin was the first to run to them.

"G-get him out of here!" Olivia collected herself for the sake of the situation.

Sonny was the one to realize what happened. "That was a sniper - who the hell has a sniper!?" He quickly looked around the immediate area but of course there was no such weapon amongst their crew.

"No one!" Amanda snapped. "But we should find it. They were obviously watching."

"Go," Olivia gave the order in a hurry. If they did indeed have a third party involved she wanted them captured as fast as possible.

Montserrat, however, gazed down at Angel's corpse with the same sick feeling she had after talking to Little Tino.

~0~

He had been very patient - no, professional. He had been very professional even after hearing about the mysterious sniper. But the truth was, Rafael had never felt so scared in his life and he had been in plenty situations that were fear-worthy. The difference was that this time it hadn't been about him. Montserrat was shot at earlier in the week and now she had been in the vicinity of a sniper whose owner they still didn't know. As soon as he could - which wasn't very soon in his opinion - he went to see Montserrat. He tried his best not to knock as urgently as he felt but there was a huge relief when she opened the door and he could see for himself that she was unharmed.

"You're here," Montserrat looked relieved to see him as well. She'd been trying to gather up the courage to call him, or at the very least to text him. "I think we-"

Rafael didn't let her finish as he yanked her body to his. He needed to hug her, and tightly, for a good while. Montserrat was initially startled but after everything she'd been thinking of, everything that had happened, she wrapped her arms around his neck and let it be.

"I'm sorry for not calling you sooner," she mumbled after a moment. "I was...there was a lot to...think about." Not to mention that it took her hours to get the sick feeling out of her, and even right now it wasn't completely out of her system.

"I don't care about any of that stuff, Montserrat. I'm just glad that you're okay," Rafael pulled away to give her a small smile. "Even though I know it bothers you."

"It doesn't," she said quickly. She reached behind him and pushed the door closed. "I should've been more understanding before. Kara made me realize some things. I don't really know what it feels like being on your end when it comes to the details of my job and I shouldn't get upset when you worry about me."

"I didn't mean to be overwhelming. I'm not quite used to it myself," he admitted. The last time he had dated, a casual thing that he could barely call 'dating', the woman hadn't been a detective. None of the people he dated had held such a complicated, dangerous job. He was used to the dangers that came from his job but he never considered how dating someone with an equally dangerous job would affect him. "I know it's your job, I just can't help it now that…"

Montserrat smiled in amusement at him. "I think we need to figure out how we're going to work together when we're actually together."

"Yeah, that might be a good idea," Rafael nodded, though it seemed easier said than done. He wasn't sure how he could make himself not worry about her whenever there was confrontation or simply the fact that Montserrat would constantly be dealing with the scum of the Earth.

"I know it sounds hard but we'll just have to make it work," Montserrat said as if she was reading his thoughts. "And, just a reminder, I can take care of myself. That 'being shot' thing was a fluke."

Rafael chuckled but shook his head at her. "Don't even joke about that, alright?"

"Look at you being so worried, didn't know you were capable of that," she gave him one of her teasing smiles.

"Up until 2 weeks ago, I was just fine," he muttered but he looked her over and knew this was still the place he wanted to be at. He reached for her hand and gently tugged her to him. "Are we okay, then?" He asked her quietly, almost sounding afraid that there was still something he was missing.

Montserrat felt guilty and she thought long and hard about how she could get rid of that guilt. She decided to take some advice from her therapist. "You-" she brought her hands to his face, "-have done nothing wrong. I really need you to understand that. It's me. I'm the one with the problem. I've always been the one with the problem and I have always lashed out at you for it and that's got to stop."

"Montserrat, it's fine. I just want to make sure that you're okay…"

"It's not fine because you don't deserve that. It's unfair," she insisted. "And for this to work...I need to start being honest, so... let's do that. Right now." She grabbed his hand and led him to the couch where they sat down. "You asked the last time why Little Tino seemed to know me and the truth is he doesn't know me. I don't know him but…he's heard of me."

"How is that possible?"

"Um…" Montserrat tucked some hair behind her ear then turned to face him. There was an honest to God struggle on her face to speak and that alone made Rafael want to make her stop. He didn't want to further hurt her.

"You don't have to-"

"I do," she said softly. "At least some part of this so that you know. Look, have you heard of Hallie D'Amico?"

"Yeah," he nodded. "She was prosecuted last year. Huge win I heard."

"Yeah, well... I was sort of the reason she was taken down," she smiled awkwardly. He, of course, looked confused. "Someone in her group murdered a detective from our Queens precinct and even though it was already Narcotics case, Homicide fought tooth-and-nail to work it together. I worked it. I...was a UC for 6 months and I got to know Hallie. I was sort of her left hand woman."

"You...worked with that…" Rafael didn't even want to think about that horrible job and what it could've possibly entailed.

"It was my job," Montserrat reminded quietly, but even she didn't like thinking about those 6 months. "Anyways, my exit out of that ring was, um…" she swallowed hard. She was cutting it close to the even more terrible part. "When it was over, and most of her ring was arrested, Hallie knew I was the spy in her ring. I testified against her."

"Okay," Rafael nodded slowly, "I understand that part and I'm sorry you had to do that but...if she was arrested then how does anyone else from that world know you? You said most of her ring was gone, was there anyone else you missed?"

Even if she didn't want to, Montserrat's face scrunched. "I, uh…" her hands fiddled with each other until her fingers found the skin under her other hand's nails. "Yes...he, um, he should've gone down too. Especially him."

Rafael picked up on the switch of her tone. It was disgust...but it was also fear. And he thought it sounded familiar. "Hey," he reached for her hands that were picking at each other but even when he tried to pull them apart she tugged against it. It was like an automatic action. And it wasn't the first time he saw that. She always did that whenever she got into her reclusive or anxious states.

And then it clicked what she was trying to do, what she was finally trying to do. She was trying her best to tell him, her mouth would open but then would shut a second later. The struggle was so evident on her face. He had definitely seen this before; his heart ached so much right now.

"Montserrat, I know," he told her, if only to make things easier for her, with the same quiet tone she'd been using. It was still shocking enough to turn her head.

"What?" Her eyes widened and blinked.

"I... know," he repeated and felt horrible watching the terrified expression crossing her face.

"I don't, I don't understand...how...how could you know? How could you know anything? I-I never said anything-" She seemed to shake and her gaze could no longer meet his.

"I don't know what fully happened but I know something happened to you." He had long ago reached that conclusion but after so many times of asking watching her shut down, he decided that she just wasn't ready to open up about that. Again, it was something so familiar. He only hoped that she was opening up to someone else so she could find some support. "I've known for a while that…"

"... I'm a victim?" It pained her to even say it out loud. Very rarely did she ever use that word on herself. She was a detective, she couldn't very well be a victim too. How could she help others?

"Don't say it like that," Rafael finally managed to pull her hands apart before she really peeled off her skin. He already saw spots of red on her and that was as far as she would reach as long as he was around.

"But that's what I am, right? I told myself for a full year that I was different because I knew better, but the truth is I'm a hypocrite. How could I work for SVU when I myself was…" Montserrat came to a stop to swallow a lump in her throat.

She could stop there, leave it at that, but for some reason she didn't feel right about it. She was so close to finally getting it off her chest, close to being able to share that terrible story and maybe get a different type of support that she didn't even know she needed until now. She hadn't planned on sharing everything. She'd only planned on sharing a bit, taking advice from Dr. Weslin, but now...being there…

"How could I work at SVU when I myself was raped?" She finished in a frail whisper. She wouldn't look at Rafael's reaction so quick - she wasn't that brave yet - but she could see from the corner of her eyes that he was stunned. And rightly so.

But despite it being shock-worthy news, looking back at things...it made a lot of sense. Rafael knew - for a long while now - that something had happened to Montserrat that made her have such setbacks: her reclusiveness, the defensiveness...those moments where she would get distant. Suddenly he was remembering a time where she'd pushed his hand away after he'd happened to move it up along her thigh. At the time she'd tried to play it off but he was sure there'd been something more to it. It was that. It was all because of that. Even now, looking at her trying to hug herself and leave some room between them...it just made sense.

"You were…?" He couldn't even finish the sentence at the moment. He'd lost air in a single second.

"I slipped up and Hallie's right hand guy - he had always made remarks about me," Montserrat cringed remembering the times she felt violated just by the man's wandering eyes. "Daniel," she spat the name out in disgust. "I was taking care of one of Hallie's lackeys that was messing up on some orders and...I slipped up. I was alone in a storage room and he...he..." The tears rolled down her cheeks. He took advantage, knowing Hallie was off. And he raped me." She sniffled while doing her best not to cry so openly. "I tried my best to fight him off but I was way out of my element. I've always been the detective, I've always known what to do. I was good at my job and he just..." She stopped when reality hit her once again. "In the end, it didn't matter. He still got what he wanted. He took a part of me away and I haven't been able to find it ever since." She was aware of the dead silence that hung between them right now and it was almost as terrifying as it was telling the story. "I'm sorry for dumping this on you. If you want some time to, I don't know, process things...I would understand that," she quietly said, though the idea of him leaving her just to do that was painful (and scary) enough. She got up from the couch and walked a few steps away.

"This is not about me, Montserrat," Rafael said after finding his voice. It was true he was trying to process things but there was never a chance that he would walk away from her. It was actually beyond him. He got up from the couch and walked up to her. "This is about you, Montserrat, being brave enough to tell me all this because I know that I pried way more than I should have in the past and I am so sorry about that."

Montserrat's head turned his way, revealing shiny eyes. "You're sorry? About what? I'm the one who lashed out at you way more times than I can count. By all accounts, you should be mad with me because I was taking something out on you when it had nothing to do with you!" By the time she finished, the tears got the best of her. It was all her guilt pouring out combined with her pain. "I'm just so sorry. I didn't mean to! There's just times where these feelings bubble up and I get scared that somebody will find out and everyone will know! I get so defensive and I...it wasn't fair, I'm sorry…"

It actually broke Rafael's heart to see her break down. It was a whole other side of her and it happened to be her most vulnerable side. And it angered him because of the man who did this to her. How dare he put his hands on her, hurt her that way?

But it wasn't the time for him to be angry. It was like he said, it wasn't about him. It was about her and making her feel cared for. She felt like she needed to be away from him when it was the last thing he wanted. "No more apologizing, please. Come here."

She had turned away from him in an attempt to hide herself but when he reached for her body to pull her close to him, she let it be. There was no putting up a fight, she didn't want it. She just wanted him to wrap his arms around her and stay with her. And that's exactly what Rafael did. He slowly turned her to him and wrapped his arms around her. Her entire body seemed to retreat into his the tighter he held her.

"Montserrat I'm so sorry about all this." Rafael hated that he didn't have the right words for her, the words she needed to feel better. "The last thing you need to do is apologize to anyone for any of this. I wish I had better words for you but...I'm not that good where it counts, I suppose."

Montserrat's small smile was hidden from him since he'd rested his chin over her head. Only he could make her actually smile (even if it was just a tiny bit) after confessing one of her deepest secrets. But she liked knowing there was actually someone who was able to lift her even when she was in the lowest of places.

"You say that but what do I tell you? Sometimes you don't have to say a lot, your actions say it all. And right now…" She snuggled up to him (if it was even possible to get closer), "I really like what you're doing. Being close to you…it's what I hoped for. You've no idea how scary it is thinking about telling someone this. I never told my dad or my brother. Not even Kara knows. Even the thought of telling them scares me to the bone."

Rafael held her tighter. He might be gripping her but he couldn't fathom letting her go anytime soon. "You don't have to be scared with me, alright? I would never leave you for that reason, Montserrat."

"I didn't think you would, I just...I was afraid you would realize why I was so rude the times before and...well, admitting something like that happened to me... it's terrifying."

"You're brave and you're strong. And right now, I admire you so much. You asked how could you work at SVU? Well, I think you work there because you can offer victims a different support that others can't. You understand them - for better or for worse - and they need that connection."

Fresh tears came to Montserrat's eyes. "Thank you. So...this won't change anything?" She gathered enough courage to raise her head and look up at him. He was smiling so kindly, so fondly, at her.

"I only want to hold you possibly forever," he replied and leaned his head down to where they could touch noses. "And maybe kiss you a little...if I can."

She sniffled but nodded. "Please do." She closed her eyes when his fingers brushed over her cheeks, gently wiping off her tears. He slowly pressed his lips to hers, cautiously feeling for her reaction. Maybe she didn't want this type of touch right now but she didn't push him away. She followed his lips in a small, soft kiss that told her everything would be alright. She was safe and with him. This was right where she wanted to be.

Author's Note:

You have no idea how many times I went back for that last scene. I couldn't decide if it was good or not so I'm just gonna leave it for you as it came out!

For the review:

Professor Severus Tobias Snape: You bet that i love writing for the angst! xD