This chapter is a collection of omakes that begin with this prompt - By some weird chance, Luffy meets Dragon on (random) island, and they have a certain conversation …

Some of them are my own, and some are written by rose7anne101 andBlack' Victor Cachat'. Feel free to guess who wrote what :D

Notes:

"..." = conversation

... = author insert

[...] = action

Italics = thoughts

Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece or One Piece: Luffy's Mother is WHO?

#1

By some weird chance, Luffy meets Dragon on (random) island, and they have a certain conversation …

Dragon: "Luffy, do you know where babies come from?"

Luffy: "Uh...yeah? Ace told me about it before. He called it the uh… the bees and the flowers? No that's not right. The fish and the sea? The bird and the tree? The birds and the bees… yeah, that's the one!"

Dragon: [Claps Luffy on the shoulder] "Good for you, son."

Luffy: "Thanks! ...Why is it good for me?" [Tilts head questioningly]

Dragon: No reason. Just remember, if your grandpa ever says anything about babies and storks, trust me, HE'S LYING.

#2

By some weird chance, Luffy meets Dragon on (random) island, and they have a certain conversation …

Dragon: "Luffy, do you know where babies come from?"

Luffy: [tilts his head curiously] "Uh, yeah? Zoro told me about it before, something about ships and ports. reference to Stormy1x2's Seagulls and Beetles

Dragon: [snorts] "What ship and port? All it needs is a syringe and a bit of this and that."

Luffy: "What's a syringe?"

Dragon: "It's a tube with a nozzle and piston or bulb for sucking in and ejecting liquid in a thin stream, used for cleaning wounds or body cavities, or fitted with a hollow needle for injecting or withdrawing fluids."

Luffy: "Oh, so it's a mystery thing!"

Chopper: [Shouts from somewhere behind] "Luffy, it's that needle thingy I use to give you your shots!"

Luffy: [Pouts at Dragon] "Why didn't you just say so?"

Dragon deadpans and tries to argue, but Luffy gets distracted by something else, and their conversation is completely lost. The revolutionary departs soon after, and Luffy returns to the Sunny. Sometime during dinner…

Luffy: [Suddenly realizes something] EHHHHH! CHOPPER WERE YOU TRYING TO MAKE BABIES FROM ME?!

Strawhats:[Gapes at the captain] "...what?"

Chopper: [Explains patiently] "Luffy, you're a guy. You can't make babies. Well, technically you can since you fertilize the egg-"

Luffy:[Points accusingly] "SO YOU WERE TRYING TO MAKE BABIES! I DON'T WANT BABIES! I DON'T WANT TO SHARE MY FOOD!"

Nami: [Facepalms] "How the hell is food involved in this?

Luffy: [Glares at Nami suspiciously] "Dadan told me that babies are black holes. Which means they eat a lot, which means I'll have to share my food!" [Turns to Chopper] "CHOPPER! I FORBID YOU FROM MAKING BABIES! CAPTAIN'S ORDERS!"

Chopper: "I AM NOT! HOW THE HELL DID YOU REACH THAT CONCLUSION?!"

Strawhats: Who the heck is Dadan anyway?

Luffy: "My dad said you could makes babies with a needle thingy! And you always use it on me!"

Chopper:"I was giving you your shots!"

[Starts pointless shouting match]

Nami: "Why are we even having this conversation in the first place?"

Robin: "It's probably Dragon-san's fault." [Laughs mysteriously]

Strawhats: ?

#3

By some weird chance, Luffy meets Dragon on (random) island, and they have a certain conversation …

Dragon: "Luffy, do you know where babies come from?"

Luffy: "Uh...no?"

Dragon: "Well son, you're old enough, and you're a pirate. You should know these things."

[Imparts (incorrect) knowledge]

Luffy: "OH SO THAT'S WHERE BABIES COME FROM! If all I need is one of those needle thingies, Chopper has lots of those in his infirmary."

[Chopper suddenly feels an urge to hide all his syringes.]

Chopper:"I think...I need to go.." He stands up and runs to the infirmary, followed by Nami and Usopp.

Usopp: "What are you doing, Chopper?"

Chopper: [startled] "Ssshhhh… guys, you need to help me, quick!"

Nami: "With what?"

Chopper: [whispering] "Hiding the syringes...before Luffy orders me to throw them all overboard!"

Usopp: "Huh? Why would he do that?"

Chopper: "Well, because…" [repeats earlier conversation between Luffy and Dragon] "And call me paranoid or something, but I just know that he's going to ask me something ridiculous or accuse me of something just as stupid! And it'll be about the syringes!"

Nami: And isn't it just sad that I can totally see that happening. [shrugs] "Well, it is Luffy we're talking about."

Usopp: Yeah… let's just move them someplace else for now.

#4

By some weird chance, Luffy meets Dragon on (random) island, and they have a certain conversation …

Dragon: "Luffy, do you know where babies come from?"

Luffy: "Uh...no?"

Dragon: "Well son, you're old enough, and you're a pirate. You should know these things."

[Imparts (incorrect) knowledge. ]

Luffy: "REALLY?! THAT'S WHERE BABIES COME FROM?!"

Luffy: "ZORO!"

Zoro: [Looks over]

Luffy: "Do you really just need a needle thingy to make a baby?"

Zoro: "Ha? What're you talking about?"

Luffy: "But he," [Points finger at Dragon] "said that's where babies come from!"

Zoro: "...Yeah, sure. Whatever...OW! OI, WITCH! WHAT WAS THAT FOR!"

Nami: "That information is WRONG! Don't just say WHATEVER!"

Zoro: "I have my reasons!"

Nami: "What reasons?!" [feels a piercing stare and quiets down, looks at Zoro to confirm what is happening] Dragon is glaring at me right now, isn't he.

Zoro: [nods] YEP.

#5

By some weird chance, Luffy meets Dragon on (random) island, and they have a certain conversation …

Dragon: "Luffy, do you know where babies come from?"

Luffy: "Huh?"

Sabo: "Damn it, Dragon-san! What are you trying to teach Luffy?!"

Ace: [Grabs Luffy] "Luffy! What did that old man tell you? Did he tell you anything weird?! Do I have to beat him up?!"

Luffy: "He was just asking me where babies come from. And of course I know! They come from tubes!"

Dragon: "Ah good, I just wanted to be sure."

Sabo: "Wait, what? What!? Luffy, babies don't come from tubes!"

Ace: "Who told you that!? We need to have some words with them!"

Luffy: "Why?"

Ace: "Because it's wrong!"

Luffy: "Ace, stop being crazy. Of course it's real! Here, come with me."

Back on the Thousand Sunny...

Luffy: "See?"

In one room on the Thousand Sunny is filled with incubator tanks, each containing a developing fetus. Some are clearly nearly ready to be 'decanted' with healthy babies.

Ace and Sabo's jaws drop.

Dragon: "Luffy, I'm not one to judge, but why are you having so many children?"

Luffy: "Well, it was something Chopper got started on before we got, y'know, separated, and we decided we should probably hurry it up. Making babies for us all. That one's mine and Hancock's -I got to see Amazon Lily's tubes when I was there, and they were pretty neat- then me and Vivi, me and Nami, me and Robin, me and Rebecca, me and Shirahoshi -that's why it's an egg-, me and Carrot, me and Wanda, me and Zoro-"

Dragon: "Wait, you're doing it with men too?"

Luffy: "Oh sure! Sanji, Franky, Usopp, Jinbe, Law -can't remember if I told him about this- and others. The only kids I don't have with are Brook and Chopper unfortunately."

Chopper skips into view, wearing a labcoat and giggling with glee.

Chopper: "Don't worry Luffy, I figured out how to do it. You and me'll have a baby in nine months! Brook too!"

Luffy: "Awesome!"

Ace and Sabo's eyes are like dinner-plates, bodies wracked with spasms.

Dragon: "What about the rest of your crew?"

Luffy: "Oh, they all have children mixed in too of course. Although for the ones who are both Zoro and Sanji kids, we had to mix them in with the ones they have with Robin and Nami. Just to be safe."

It is at that point that Ace and Sabo run away screaming before their brains finish breaking.

Throwing a puzzled glance after them, Dragon then shrugs, and puts a proud hand on Luffy. "Well, I'm sure you'll all make fine parents.

...

Twenty years later, the entirety of the 'Straw Hat Family,' now numbering in the hundreds, and basically conquers the world. Unintentionally.

It started out as what was supposed to be the Bachelorette party for Shanks and Makino's daughter, except it got out of hand. And of course when the Bachelor party -for the son of Sanji and Zoro- heard what was going on, the men could not allow themselves to be outdone, and escalated the situation until it got decidedly out of hand. By the time the smoke cleared, they were wondering why the majority of -the remaining- world leaders were submitting themselves to them.

And yes, Robin made a point of accurately documenting what happened, as did her various children, nieces, and nephews, who were also interested in history.

...

Another twenty years later, the Family heads to space to explore the 'Final Frontier,' and have new adventures.

It takes the combined might of the Vulcans, Andorians, Tellarites, Xindi, Klingons, and the Romulans fifty years to beat the maniacs back to their solar system and seal them in, yet were never able to truly conquer them. The tired and battered species then went on to form the United Federation of Planets.

Unbeknownst to them, the Straw Hat Family's desire to get free led their scientists to generate wormholes to give them access to the Delta and Gamma Quadrants. It did not take them long to go to war with both the Borg and Dominion at the same time.

Three guesses as to who is winning.

And the first two do not count.

#6

By some weird chance, Luffy meets Dragon on (random) island, and they have a certain conversation …

Dragon: "Luffy, do you know where babies come from?"

Luffy: "Uh...no?"

Dragon: "Well son, you're old enough, and you're a pirate. You should know these things."

[Imparts (incorrect) knowledge...or he tries to.]

Sabo: "Damn it, Dragon-san! What are you trying to teach Luffy?!"

Ace: [Grabs Luffy] "Luffy! What did that old man tell you? Did he tell you anything weird?! Do I have to beat him up?!"

Luffy: [Blinks innocently] Um, Dad said Gramps lied about babies, and he found out and something… I don't remember.

Sabo & Ace: [Sigh in relief]

Sabo: "Good. Good."

Ace: "Well, Luffy, me and Sabo have a little something to talk about with your old man. Go play hide-and-seek or bug Zoro or something, will ya?

Luffy: "Okay!" [Hugs Ace and Sabo and races off towards the crow's nest]

Sabo: "Now, Dragon-san. As we've told you many times before, babies DO NOT come from tubes. Please refrain from misleading our dear, naive little brother, if you'd please, even though he's your son."

Ace: [Pulls something out from his backpack] "THIS-" [Points at the flashcards in his hand] "-is The Facts of Life." [Flips through it one by one and shows Dragon] "It does not include a tube -well of course, unless you count the Fallopian Tube- but still, NO TUBE."

Sabo: [Stares at Ace incredulously] "Ace."

Ace: "Yeah?"

Sabo: "Why do you have that?"

Ace: "This? Oh, Marco gave it to me, said something about learning how it works so we know how to make it NOT work."

Sabo: "You mean protection. And Marco, as in Marco The Phoenix? First Division Commander of the Whitebeard Pirates?"

Ace: "The one and only. He's also our ship doctor, mind you. Don't tell, though. I think Thatch said not many people outside the crew know he's a doctor, and they want to keep it that way."

Sabo: "Right…why flashcards though?

Ace: because according to that blue fire chicken, we're all idiots, and five year olds can apparently read and write better than us. So pictures. [Turns back to Dragon] "So yeah, babies don't come from tubes."

Dragon: "I'm well aware of that. But better tubes than storks, right?"

Ace & Sabo: "What?"

Dragon: "If you were raised by Garp, you should've heard the story about storks bringing babies before."

Sabo: "Actually…"

Ace: "No. [Turns to backpack again] "Speaking of Shitty Gramps…" [Pulls out a book] "I ran into the crazy geezer a while back, and he gave me this."

[Ace holds up a book titled 'Marine Handbook - Sexual Conduct, 21st Edition'.]

Sabo: "I cannot, for the life of me, imagine why he would give you that."

Ace: "...I think he said something about you not being dead, so if I ever run into you to give it to you, to give to Dragon…" [Holds the book out towards Dragon] "Well since you're here, I'll just give it to you directly."

Dragon: [Takes the book, and then tosses it into the ocean] "I'll have you know, this book is filled with all kinds of BS. I HAVE A SON I KNOW WHERE THEY COME FROM."

Sabo: [Facepalms] "That's it, I'm calling backup." [Starts dialling on Den Den Mushi] "Hello, Iva-san? This is Sabo. I'm placing an order for a Baby-Making Demo for Dragon-san. Pronto. ...Really? Excellent, glad to hear. ...Hmm? Oh sure yes, we've been looking forward to meeting this 'Bon-boy' for a while now."

#7

By some weird chance, Luffy meets Dragon on (random) island, and they have a certain conversation …

Dragon: "Luffy, do you know where babies come from?"

Luffy: "Uh...no?"

Dragon: "Well son, you're old enough, and you're a pirate. You should know these things."

[Imparts (incorrect) knowledge. ]

Garp: "NO LUFFY! DON'T LISTEN TO HIM!" [Appears out of nowhere]

Luffy: "Huh, Gramps? What're you doing here...WOAHHH GRAMPS THAT'S SO COOL HOW DID YOU DO THAT?!"

[Garp steps out of a portal and grins.]

Garp: "That's 'cause I'm your grandpa! And I'm here to stop HIM!" [Points sharply at Dragon]

Dragon: "Garp…"

Garp: "YOU IDIOT SON! JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE AN IDIOT DON'T GO TELLING MY CUTE GRANDSON ABOUT UNTRUE THINGS! BABIES DO NOT COME FROM TUBES!"

Dragon: "They do; that's where Luffy came from after all. Besides, I think it's more true than being brought by storks."

Dragon and Garp ends up in a heated debate about reproduction. Half of it is, anyway.

Luffy:"...Gramps?"

Garp: [Doesn't hear him]

Luffy: "Dad?"

Dragon : [Doesn't hear him either]

Luffy: "..." [Stomach growls] "Sanji! Food!"

Sanji: "Yeah, yeah! Lunch is almost ready so just wait a little longer!" [Yells from kitchen]

Luffy: "Okay!" [Spots Usopp next to the mast tinkering and bounds over] "Usopp! Guess what? I came from a tube!"

Usopp: "Okay…wait, what?! A tube?!"

Luffy: "Yeah! My dad said so, but Gramps said he's lying so I don't know if it's true but it would be so cool if I came from a tube!"

Usopp: [Deadpans] "Luffy, babies don't come from tubes. Moms give birth to them."

Luffy: "But I don't have a mom? I mean, if I came from a tube, it would explain why I don't have a mom, right?"

Usopp: "...I don't know. Ask Chopper."

Hmm. Yeah. Not dead yet.

I'll finish the others... eventually.