I was just chillin' at the bar when some psychopathic bitch in pigtails, and very short shorts, began shooting people without unknown reason.

And did I forget to tell you that she was hot too?

Of course, as part of X-men – slash - trainee, I was required to stop her, and so I did.

I tried too, mind you

Good thing I was already in my Deadpool get-up, or I would have been embarrassed to let her see my ugly face.

But for some reason, the moment I turned around to try and shoot her dead-on between her eyes, I froze. I became mesmerized by the sight of her long legs, and the way she walk in her tight red and blue short-underwear – Ooohh…me likey – I couldn't pull the trigger.

I just couldn't.

It was only when she aimed the gun at me that I instantly unfroze and immediately jumped to hide behind the counter of the bar.

"Phew, that was close." I muttered, raising my gun close to my chest and I notice that my heart rate was running wild.

"What the hell happened there?" I asked myself.

"You froze dipshit!" a female voice called out, having heard his question. "You miss your opportunity to kill me!"

"Hey hot stuff!" I yelled back, crouching low. "What's your name?"

"Show yourself first, and I will tell you my name." She shouted in return, her statement a challenge.

I grinned, feeling amuse by the woman's suggestion.

"Ok." I said and abruptly stood up and aimed my gun towards where the voice was coming from.

I didn't even have the chance to pull the trigger when a bullet hit me in the chest, and right straight into my dead heart.

"The name is Harley Quinn." She said after she shot me. She stood close to the counter with the point of her gun pressing against my chest.

"Wade Wilson." I manage to say, gazing into her pretty blue eyes.

"Why aren't you dead yet?" She asked when I remained standing.

"Well, I'm sorry, were you expecting me to drop dead? Because I can do that for you too."

In response, she tried shooting me again. Three consecutive shots to the heart and one to my skull.

"Hey, that kinda hurts!" I whined while I quickly took her gun away from her grasp and I aimed my gun at her head at the same time. "You better stop that or I'm going to shoot, woman!"

Beneath the mask, I was already grinning widely when I noted the anxiety that appeared on the woman's face when I still didn't die after four fatal shots.

"So…" I began, when the woman stood frozen on the spot. "Will you go out on a date with me?"

"I probably will if you hand me your gun, Wade." The woman replied, smiling flirtatiously at him.

"No, not a chance," I said while I leaped over the counter to stand in front of her. "So why were you shooting all these people?"

"You want the truth?"

"Sure."

"It's because I've been ordered by my boyfriend."

"So you have a boyfriend. What's his name?"

"His name is the Joker."

"Where is he now?"

"Hiding somewhere." Harlequin shrugged, not revealing too much.

"Since you won't tell me, I can always find him myself."

"Are you planning to kill him?"

"Planning? Who says about planning?" I asked. "This person here-" points at myself. "Doesn't need planning to kill someone. I just kill them point blank."

"Well, good luck finding him because you sure can't get that information from me."

"Then, what about that date? Are you still up for it?"

"Are you paying?"

"Yes."

"Then, sure. Who am I to deny free food?"

The End

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