Summary: They all had their ways of laying their dead to rest. For Dwarrow they lay their dead beneath stone, carrying gems or Metal in their, their weapons in hand, for Elves they set their dead ablaze so that they might dance among the stars, Men sent their dead to rest within the dirt, for what reason they did not know, Wizards did not die, and Hobbits, Hobbits had no dead.

A/N: An odd little thing I thought up while wondering just what the races of Middle-Earth did with their dead and it turned into Immortal Hobbits. and apparently Grown in Garden Hobbits too.

Bilbo did not understand what was happening as those around him spoke of gathering the dead together. He sat next to Thorin, the Dwarf's hand in his as he spoke with King Thranduil and the newly crowned King Bard. Walking over the Battlefield he had wondered why all the beings were just lying there unmoving.

"What do you mean?" Bilbo finally asked, needing to know what they meant.

"Pardon?" Bard asked, looking at the Hobbit.

"Why are you gathering Dead? What is it for?" Bilbo asked.

Thranduil frowned, "What do your people do with their dead, leave them to rot?"

"Hobbits don't have dead." Bilbo told them, "At least I don't believe they do, what is dead?"

Thorin gazed at Bilbo solemnly, "Bilbo, dead is what happens when your life is over."

Bilbo tilted his head, "Over?"

"You know when you no longer breath?" Bard said.

"What?"

"What happens when Hobbits get old?" Thranduil asked, gazing at Bilbo curiously.

"Oh, that depends on the Hobbit, Tooks are particularly fond of becoming trees in the Old wood, those wandering feet you know, My mother though, she wanted to be a bird for a while, she and my father flew off just after I came of age, I suspect they'll be back once she's see enough." Bilbo told them, "Why I only just returned to form, I used to be a rather lovely rose bush."

"What?" Bard asked in disbelief.

"But you do age?" Thranduil asked.

"Yes?" Bilbo frowned, "Don't you?"

"But you don't die?"

"I don't know, what does it mean to die?" Bilbo asked.

They stared at Bilbo.

Thorin cleared his throat, "So how old are you?"

"I've been back in form for nearly fifty years, perhaps fifty one, but I remember dancing with Yavanna when the world was new, and Mahal deciding to create those rock people of his." Bilbo shook his head, "Don't even started on the ones made of starlight, what pretentious arses."

Thranduil opened his mouth and then closed it.

"And that one stone man that keeps bothering us to see my grandmother." Bilbo sighed, "I really wish he'd just become with her, it would save us all the trouble of talking her back into form."

"Stone man?" Bard asked.

"I think he calls himself Durin." Bilbo frowned, "It's kind of hard to realize he's Grandmother's husband, he never looks the same. Most Hobbits will keep to form."

"Is Bilbo here?" Gandalf asked as he entered the tent.

"Hello Gandalf." Bilbo waved with his free hand, "Would you mind answering a question for me?"

"Of course not."

"Why are we meant to gather dead?" Bilbo asked.

"To lay them to rest." Gandalf frowned at Bilbo.

"Are they not already doing that? I saw so many laying about as I returned to the Mountain." Bilbo explained.

Gandalf opened and closed his mouth, "What?"

"I have a question." Bard suddenly asked.

Bilbo turned to him.

"How are baby hobbits born?"

"Born?" Bilbo asked.

"You know when a mother gives birth."

"Birth, I don't know what this word means." Bilbo said.

"How did you come to be?" Thranduil asked.

"Oh, well Yavanna helped my mother grow me, I started out as an acorn and grew into a very large tree and when I was ready to take form I was struck by my first lightning and I had to grow up again from a sprout." Bilbo laughed.

Thorin frowned, "What exactly were you going to do with the Acorn for Beorn's then?"

"Grow it of course, she has the potential to be a very lovely daughter, don't you think?" Bilbo asked looking at Thorin.

"Yes?" Thorin said.

"Of course she's being very impatient, she wants to be planted here surrounded by all this stone, I suppose that's what I get for deciding on taking a stone man for a spouse."

"Spouse?" Gandalf sputtered.

"Well, yes..., I left my home for his and even helped chase the vermin out, we'll have to keep a watch to make she the Dragon stays away but really I don't suspect he'll return." Bilbo said, "By all accounts Thorin and I are married."

Gandalf opened his mouth.

"Of course we are." Thorin smiled at Bilbo, "Although I should braid your hair to make sure my people know we are wed."

"But... can't they feel it?" Bilbo tilted his head, "If they can't feel when someone is taken then they could try to take that person."

"Bilbo, I believe there is some cultural differences going on." Gandalf said, "I'm sure that we can sort this out."

"But what about the Dead?" Bilbo asked.

"Leave that to those who know what they need to do." Gandalf said, "You would not understand what it meand to die."

Bilbo frowned as every one gathered around, the Dead had been placed upon Pyres, according to Ori usually only Elves were burned but given the amount of Dead it was easier and quicker to burn them all. Bilbo still did not understand what burning had to do with Dead.

It was Thranduil who lit the first Pyre and Bilbo could not help the scream he let out as the people upon the Pyre began to burn.

Thorin caught him before he could reach the pyre, guiding him to the ground and holding him.

"Bilbo, our people do not change forms when we tire of one." Thorin began, "When our life is over we die and leave this world behind."

"Why?" Bilbo cried, "I don't understand."

"We were all made by different creators, your people we made by a Lady of Earth in winter many things sleep and are reborn in spring, your people do the same, changing when you tire of being one way, becoming something new." Thorin explained, "We do not do that, we cannot do that."

"You'll die?!" Bilbo cried, tears beginning to fall from his eyes, "And everyone else too?"

Thorin held Bilbo as he sobbed, he sounded so devastated at the new knowledge.

"Yes, we will." Thorin whispered into Bilbo's hair, "And I am sorry for it, that I will one day leave you behind."

"No." Bilbo decided, "Hobbit can become anything, when you die, I shall become your tomb."

"What if you wish to take form again?" Thorin asked.

"Why would I want to take form without my husband?" Bilbo asked Thorin as he looked away from the Pyre.

Thorin pressed a kiss to Bilbo's forehead, "What if you become bored?"

Bilbo smiled, "Hobbit chose a mate and keep them for life, my mother and father were grown together, they have never strayed, when one gets ready to become something other the other already has an idea of what they want to change to, I've chosen you, Thorin Oakenshield."

Thorin smiled back.

Then they turned back to watch the dead burn, and Bilbo wished he had never learned what death was and dreaded the day that Thorin would die and Bilbo would become for the last time.

A/N: I don't even have an excuse, except maybe sleep deprivation.

So for clarification when a Hobbit takes Form they are changing to the Humanoid Hobbit for we see in the book or movie, when a Hobbit Becomes they are taking a, less evolved are the words I'm saying but like when they take animal forms or plant forms. It alternates so a Hobbit will start out in a Become state because they are grown in the ground and then they are struck by lightning or somehow uprooted and they take their first Form, this is the only time they are required to grow up from a baby, some choose to but not all, Bilbo tends to start from a young child when he takes Forms.

What the Devil did I just write?