Disclaimer: Class of the Titans isn't mine

A/N: Don't you just love it when they try to make Greek mythology kid-friendly? I swear it's 10% killing each other and 90% people not keeping it in their pants when they REALLY should have.

It had seemed like a great idea at the time. Of course, the physical training was important, but they got plenty of that. Wasn't it also a good idea to actually study the Greek myths that played such a role in their lives? Jay was getting rather sick of being taken by surprise every time Cronus popped up with a new ancient monster to do his dirty work.

It was Sunday and they had the day off from training. Neil was primping in the bathroom, Herry and Odie were playing foosball and in a strange turn of events, Theresa, Atlanta and Archie were all crowded around the same book and reading intently.

Jay was alerted to a problem by a chorus of gasps and the sound of Atlanta's breathless laughter. He dashed back into the common room. Herry shrugged, looking at the trio in confusion.

"What's so funny?" Odie asked.

"Oh, we were just doing some research like Jay asked." Theresa said sweetly, with a twinkle in her green eyes. "And we decided to start with Jason and the Argonauts."

Jay blinked.

"Uh, ok? And what did you find?"

Theresa opened her mouth to explain, but Archie frantically cut her off with a wave. The purple haired teen was grinning like a five-year old.

"Neil!" He called, "Come here, we need you!"

Neil arrived a moment later, in nothing but a towel mind you.

"You called?" Neil sang.

Atlanta sprang off the couch and handed Neil the book.

"We need you to do a dramatic reading of this, please and thank you."

She sat back down with a thump, making Theresa and Archie bounce.

Never one to turn down a performance, Neil immediately launched into the story of Jason.

It began simply enough, matching what little they'd already known; Jason had been raised by Chiron and returned as an adult to reclaim his throne from Pelias, the uncle that had slain Jason's father. Pelias sent him on the quest to retrieve the Golden Fleece to prove his worth.

The text then proceeded to spend the next few paragraphs talking about Jason's beauty, his sexual confidence and how the ladies would fall at his feet.

"Oooooooooh!" teased Herry, "Too bad you didn't inherit that from Jason, huh?"

Everyone laughed, except Jay, who was now a lovely shade of red. Theresa wiped a stray tear from her eye.

"It gets better," she choked, "The Gods seem to have left out some details."

Neil dove back into the story, now outlining the journey to the island of Lemnos, which was entirely populated by women.

"Unknown to Jason and the Argonauts, the women had slain their husbands." He read the next few sentences and giggled, waggling his eyebrows suggestively "Wow Jay, I'm impressed! It appears that Jason took the opportunity to ah, repopulate the island, if you catch my drift."

Atlanta shrieked and fell against Archie's shoulder, holding her ribs. He was too amused to be embarrassed, for once. Odie clapped a hand over his eyes and Herry was roaring with laughter.

"OK! That's enough reading for one day!" Jay said loudly, plucking the book out of Neil's hands.

"Aw come on Jay," Theresa pleaded, "there could be some game changing information in there! Please?"

"Yeah Jay, please?" Neil begged.

Jay looked at the hopeful faces of his friends. There were two possible ways to go about this; storm off in a huff and reinforce the idea of him as an old fuddy-duddy, or give the book back to Neil and hope that Jason had taken a vow of chastity at some point.

No, there was a third option, he realized. He smirked. Fair's fair right?

Opening the book to where Neil had left off, Jay resumed reading out loud. He suffered through the jeering about Jason's admittedly lousy treatment of Medea, but he had the feeling it would be worth it.

And it was. After finishing the story of Jason, he led into the story of Theseus by first explaining in detail, the origin of the Minotaur.

The screams of horror and disgust cracked his composure and he had to hand the book over to Atlanta who finished the tale for him. Poor Theresa, she'd been getting along with Poseidon so well too. Oh well!

"Hey 'Lanta," Archie said suddenly, "There's a story about an Atalanta."

The band of heroes was unabashedly interested now, sitting in a rough circle, mindless of the sky growing steadily darker outside.

"Atalanta was a wild girl who had been abandoned to die by her father, who had wanted sons." Archie read, "When she grew up, she refused to marry any man unless he managed to beat her in a foot race. And if he failed, she got to kill him."

Atlanta nodded, as if this was a perfectly reasonable condition.

"Many men died in the attempt," Archie continued, "Until Hippomenes. Any time Atalanta pulled ahead of him, he'd drop a golden apple. And they were so shiny and irresistible that she had to stop and pick them up. I guess."

Atlanta raised a skeptical eyebrow. Archie shrugged,

"Hey, that's what it says! Anyway, Hippomenes and Atalanta were happily married until they," Archie sputtered a laugh and read the next sentence in a tumble of words,

"Until they were turned into lions for having sex in the temple of Zeus."

"WHAT?" Atlanta shrieked, over the new chorus of laughter and taunts. She snatched the book and read it, her jaw dropping open. "That is messed up!"

Soon after, their cheeks aching from smiling, the band of heroes went to bed. An hour later, they were roused by Atlanta's cry.

"UGH! Who does that with a swan?! What the hell is wrong with you, Zeus?"

Jay wasn't sure if he wanted to have a serious talk with the Gods about this, or if he would never be able to look any of them in the eye ever again.

Maybe it was a good thing they hadn't met Zeus yet.

FIN