Authors Note: this story is set just after the events of the January Joust but before Anne's child is born and Henry Tudor Is Making Bad Decisions & Hurting Everyone Involved dot gif. Title from First Burn from the Hamilton Mixtape.

Henry is lonely, though he does not like to think it so - both his loves are away from him - Tom is away on royal business with Norfolk and Anne is in strict confinement after an illness - her visitors limited by orders of the midwives and doctors. Henry misses them like he would miss a lack of air in his lungs - as though some essential part of him has gone.

It is then that he thinks of Jane, who he has not thought of for a week now and thinks, would it be so terrible to see her, to pay court to her, to perhaps take her as a mistress? He does not, he knows, love her as he does Anne and Tom but she is a good and gentle lady whose adoration of him is whole hearted and entire and will follow his every wish in a pure sweet way. He adores his loves with all his heart and soul but it is nice to have such uncomplicated adoration from someone and he would never wish to trouble Anne with his desires when she is pregnant and he would not trouble Tom when his love is so devoted to his service. They do not have to know, thinks Henry and it is not that he loves them any less, not at all.

It is simply that it is a Kings right to divert himself with a willing lady - it does not affect his love for Anne or Tom at all, Henry says to himself - it is simply that he needs this solace.

She'd daydreamed about being Queen. Of course she had - about what it would be like to perhaps stem the tide of heresy, to be known as Good Queen Jane who had restored the Catholic Church to its proper place, not as a religious settlement. But more than that she had dreamed about being the wife of King Henry.

He was so kind to her, so handsome and gallant - like a knight in a story (he even called her his Guinevere) and it was not hard to be dazzled and surely it was no sin, not when it was the King and not when her father and brothers were telling her there was no fault in letting the King play a chaste court to her.

It's not that she doesn't want to make a good marriage - she does. It's not that she doesn't know that the kings favour will advance her family - she does but all she wants is to make the king happy, to have him keep smiling at her. She wants nothing more than to love him.

She tries not to think about the Queen. About her child. It's not as though the King and I are doing wrong, Jane thinks - he has never been dishonourable to me in any way - he is breaking no vows and I will always preserve my honour. She tries not think about the poisonous looks and whispers and the way Princess Margaret and her husband look at her with loathing and Princess Mary avoids her.

Anne is a good Queen, a loved Queen but she has changed much and Jane knows she is more educated, more outspoken than Jane has been taught is proper and it is hard for Jane, to see how Henry clearly loves his wife still. How he had gone from hardly minding her before the joust to ignoring Jane entirely for many days when all Jane wants is to hear that her Henry loves her and when he does, she cannot help but fall more in love with him. He has sent for her after all, he must love her. He holds her so gently, so sweetly and it is such a wonderful thing.

"May I kiss you Jane" he asks and she nods yes, because of course he can. She would do anything for him.

Thomas looks at the man he loves, the man he and their darling Anne both love and his heart breaks but he falls back on the mask he has perfected all his life and says "As your majesty wishes" and is surprised at how neutral and steady his voice sounds. How dispassionate. Hen...The King, Thomas reminds himself, it is the King and it is what he has ordered is laying beside his mistress and looks pleased with himself.

"Master Cromwell you will be sure to give your rooms to the Lady Jane and her family with all discretion"

It will be all over the court in minutes, Thomas thinks - how can it not be and it will do the Lady Jane no good either but what he says is "Of course your majesty" and if it sounds terse then Henry chooses to ignore it.

"We shall talk of this later," the King says, waving his hand in dismissal and Thomas has no option but to go.

The next time Master Cromwell walks into the kings rooms while she is there Jane is uncomfortable though the king has told her she should not be and so, so she tries to tell herself that there is nothing to be discomforted about. In any case Master Cromwell is not looking at her with scorn or censure as so many at court seem to - he looks almost sad, though she cannot think why he would be so - perhaps it is merely that he is known to be a close friend of the Queen.

(the king had told her there was no need to hide or go)

"Your majesty must do as you will" is what Thomas says and there is no warmth in it - instead the other man is merely Secretary Cromwell, adviser to the King and no more and Henry aches with the loss of the sunshine. Of his Tom.

He wants Tom to smile at him - that special smile that is just for him and Anne. He wants to hear him call him Henry not 'your majesty' and to tease him, not to fall back into formality. And surely if he can just explain to Tom that Jane's presence in his life changes nothing, that he wants to give Tom other rooms, rooms closer to Anne so that when Anne comes out of her confinement they call share a bed again.

"Stay, Master Cromwell - we have things to discuss" is what Henry says as he gestures for Jane to go. She does, looking abashed as she does so and Henry tells himself that he will go to her later and make sure she knows that she has done nothing to upset him.

"What do you wish of me, your majesty" is what Thomas says when Jane has gone and he says it with the same formality he used when Jane was present and Henry wants to shake him, wants to scream but finds he cannot.

"I wish that you would remember you are mine and my subject besides" It comes out harder than Henry means but he finds he cannot take it back because, why can they both not understand? Is he not their king and do they not both owe him their obedience. Thomas only nods, as Henry aches - oh he aches to take the other man in his arms and kiss him but instead he waves his hand in angry dismissal.

"Go. And do not tell Anne of this - I will not have my son endangered by her reaction."

"I could berate him, ask him why he has to do this - why can we not be enough but Tom, love - there is no point. It changes nothing" Anne says with tears in her eyes, hands cradling the swell of her belly when Thomas goes to her because he cannot not tell her this, whatever Henry has ordered. "We must shut our eyes and endure, it seems"

The two of them lay together then, finding solace in each other and their love even if the other man they both love is absent.