CHAPTER 23 - Mercy Mirror

"It's a wicked game life plays,

How it gives and takes away

No turning around, touching ground

What we had was so much more than I realized

If I could I'd embrace, embrace you."
Within Temptation - "Mercy Mirror"

1130 Zulu

JAG Headquarters

Falls Church

One Month Later

It felt good to be back at headquarters despite the mountain of paperwork that had been placed on her desk - Mac was on lite duty and was craving to see the inside of a courtroom again. After a stay at the hospital, Mac had been let out only to be informed by Chegwidden that Harm had been patched up and whisked away by the agency. She frowned at the thought and forced down the tears which threatened to spill whenever she thought about the last time she saw him.

Being pinned down by a shelving unit in a sinking ship didn't provide the tenderest of goodbyes. When she kissed him, Mac was sure she wouldn't survive, she wouldn't see Harm again and somehow here she was, alive and relatively well.

Her bruised cheek had healed and only a small, barely visible scar remained. She was lucky that her bones had not been broken by Webb. The only physical complication of her ordeal was the damage to her lungs from the seawater.

Somehow, Harm had managed to move the unit off of her, swimming through the sinking vessel as he pulled her body through and up to the surface. Chegwidden recounted how they had brought her into the RIB and Harm had begun chest compressions until she coughed up the water only to pass out moments later. However, everything after feeling Harm's lips on hers was a blur.

That had been nearly four weeks ago and her lungs still failed her slightly. At times, Mac felt as if she couldn't catch her breath and often would break into a coughing fit. The pulmonologist at Bethesda assured her that it would take some time to feel normal again but, she was progressing nicely.

What hurt the most was waking up at the hospital to find him gone. Her savior. Her hero. And it worried her to no extent that the CIA still had a hold on him.

It was Chegwidden that assured her Harm was alive, barely patched up before two agents had taken him and Keeter. Calls to his cellphone and apartment went unanswered. Even her visit with AJ to Langley for a debrief gave her no news other than he was out of the country.

Then one day, when she arrived at her apartment, she found a message on her machine. 'Hey Mac, it's me… Harm. I have to head back and clean up some of the mess down there. I'm sorry… I love you, I always will."

She played the message several times a day, refusing to delete it until he returned. It pained her that they were back to a few months ago - he was away on assignment and she at JAG worrying.

"Penny for your thoughts, Colonel?" Chegwidden waved off her attempt to come to attention and folded his arms across his chest.

Mac sighed, "You can have 'em for free, sir." She had been actively avoiding Chegwidden for the last few days when the scuttlebutt began to run rampant over a new attorney that was coming on board. A Naval Commander that she was likely to be partnered with. In preparation, Sturgis had moved back to this old office, freeing the space that had once been Harm's. It killed her to see the office so dark and empty and devoid of the items he once decorated with. The pictures of the two of them, of Harm with his dad - the model Stearman that was a miniature version of 'Sarah.' It made her heart sink just a little more. Harm was never coming back to JAG, she may as well accept it.

"Still haven't heard from him?" When she shook her head, he slipped into one of her guest chairs. "Mac, they have a lot of cleaning up to do. I'm sure you'll hear from him soon."

"I'm sure I will." Mac gave him a half-hearted smile. She wanted to ask him for advice to figure out how to maintain her sanity when Harm was away. This was one of the things she detested about her relationship with Webb, the waiting and not knowing. She loved Harm enough to make it work but wondered what toll it would take on them; on him.

Mac had seen first hand how he'd lost himself when some sort of darkness had taken over. While it was fine for the good order of the mission, a mechanism to keep him safe, she wondered when the lines would blur.

"I know you are aiding Lt. Roberts on the Whitlock interview but, I want to see you in my office at 1300. It's time to introduce you to your new partner."

Partner. Mac was sure she didn't need a new one. As far as she was concerned, her partner was somewhere out in the Chaco cleaning up the CIA's mess. All she could do was stare stupidly at her commanding officer. Harm's resignation had been his fault and although AJ had done everything to get into their good graces, Mac wasn't quick to forgive. Why the hell couldn't the man just take Harm back and defy the rules for once?

No, she didn't need a new goddamned partner and the thought had her seething. "Respectfully, Admiral, I do not need a new partner, the old one I had was just fine. You said you would do anything in your power to bring him back, even go to the President. What the hell happened? Did you just return only to lose your nerve?"

"Did you just mouth off to your commanding officer?"

Mac straightened in her chair and folded her hands together. Her heart was drumming hard at the words she'd used and yet, she didn't give a damn. She was angry, hurt and was tired of the lies. "Yes, I did… Sir, I don't need a partner."

Chegwidden stood up then and glared down at her. "It's not a request, Colonel. It's an order. Am I understood?" She didn't wait for her to answer before he stood and left Mac's office.

A little over an hour later, she weaved her way through the bullpen, trying to quash the anger she felt. Like a petulant child, Mac had resigned herself to making her new partner's life a living hell. She would be the epitome of icy professionalism and the bitch Marine she'd been years ago. They didn't need to be friends. How dare Chegwidden presume she needed a partner at all?

Hadn't she worked well enough without one? Her assignments and investigations had been completed on time. She hadn't wavered or faltered despite her heart aching at not seeing Harm there every day. After Paraguay, there had been times when she'd been a little harsh, abrasive even but, her work was completed - she'd won several cases. She didn't need a partner.

Mac straightened her spine when she was granted access into Chegwidden's office. But, when she took two steps in she felt it - the change in the room; an energy that crackled and came to life. Her skin tingled almost as if being awakened by a lovers touch. And there he was wearing his winter blues. Mac would have sworn she was dreaming until he turned and raced into her arms. "Harm."

"I've missed you so much." He confessed and ignored the presence of their commanding officer when his lips pressed against her own. Harm kissed her like him missed her, holding her tight against him, his hands tangling in her hair.

Suddenly uncomfortable, Chegwidden came around his desk, making a beeline for his door. "I'm going to leave you two alone for exactly five minutes." He turned the doorknob and paused for a moment before stepping out. They were still kissing. "Please remember where you are and for God's sake, don't break anything." AJ couldn't help but smile as he stepped out. "You didn't see anything, did you Petty Officer?"

Jen grinned, "Not a thing, sir."

Harm broke the kiss and rested his forehead against hers, his eyes seeking out Mac's as he prayed that this wasn't a dream. He backed slightly away from her enough so that he could run his hand gently over the tiny scar at her cheek. "It's fine. I'm fine." Mac said as her arms snaked around his waist and she enveloped him in a tight hug. She couldn't help crying though she was surprised there were any more tears left to cry. He was here, safe… Home. He was home. "Harm…"

"It's over… according to the CIA, I've paid my dues." The last few weeks found him working directly with MI6 when Kershaw had gotten wind of Webb's plans. Almost immediately, an internal investigation had begun and rogue agents were systematically eradicated. They had found all of the evidence needed in Broucher's home office and the magnitude was greater than anyone could have imagined. There were rogue agents in the farm and even stationed in various CIA offices across the globe. It began to make sense why certain assignments seemed to collapse despite the classified intel.

Harm and Keeter had rotated back to the Chaco for a few days. With the help of Simon Tanveer, who was injured but, still willing to help, they had dismantled what was left of Sadik and Bashar's allies.

He wanted to contact Mac, to let her know he was alive and safe but, Harm feared that someone would intercept a message and come after her again. She was safer at JAG with Chegwidden keeping an eye on her until he was allowed to return to the States. His return to JAG had hung in the balance up until four hours earlier when he was at Langley waiting for his new orders. The SECNAV had reinstated his commission and he was to report to JAG Ops as soon as possible.

"I know you just got back but, first chance we get I want to spend time with you at the cabin and maybe even spend a night at that B&B at Milford." Mac raised her head up to look at him, smiling when he brushed the tears away. There was a wicked look in her eyes, an ember of desire that had been stoked to life. She missed him so damned much that it hurt.

"Why there?"

"No phones, no TVs, just you and me… and I really want to visit the first place that we…" Mac trailed off and stepped away from him, her internal clock ticking away the seconds that were left before Chegwidden would, undoubtedly interrupt their reunion.

"Mmm, that could be arranged." Before she moved away too far, Harm wrapped an arm around her wrist and pulled her back to him. "Things are going to get complicated at work between the two of us."

"Then it will be just like it always was." She said before his lips met her own.

EPILOGUE:

0230 Zulu

The Cabin
Somewhere Near Milford, PA

It was a pleasant night, an Indian Summer of sorts that had cut an end to an impromptu cold front that had appeared over Labor Day weekend. A man that keeps promises, Harm had managed to secure the cabin for the long weekend and had whisked Mac away with him.

Since his return to JAG things had gotten complicated, as expected, while the two of them learned to navigate the minefield that was dating someone at the workplace. There were a few spats that got a little heated and a few times when he was sure she'd break it off with him. Chegwidden had threatened to send them both to opposite ends of the Earth and that was all it took for a truce of sorts. Groveling and passionate love making fixed the rest.

Harm was also seeing a therapist, something that was both wanted and needed as a way to tame the darkness inside of him. It would never completely go away, he'd seen too much, done too many horrible things while working for the agency for him to be completely normal but, he was trying. Being with Mac seemed to fix him, somewhat. Her voice eased the malevolent thoughts, her touch soothed his pain. She was all he ever wanted or needed and he never wanted to let her go.

"We should head up here once a year or so." Mac suggested, stepping out of the cabin and settling next to Harm on the porch swing. She rested her head against his shoulder as his long legs rocked them back and forth. "I kinda like having you all to myself without interruptions." Her hand came to his chest, trailing lazy circles over the t-shirt that he wore. She pressed her hand over his heart to feel it beating just a little faster than it should. Her touch always seemed to do that but, there was something off - something she couldn't put her finger on.

"I kinda like the fact that all we do is eat, sleep and have sex." Harm said with a grin. "Actually, I really like the sex part..a lot… a lot, a lot. We're pretty damned good at it."

Mac couldn't help but laugh. Men were so damned predictable, "You are horrible." He was right though, they were pretty good at it. The man had ways to turn her on at a drop of a hat. Not that he was immune to her charms either.

"Uh huh, says the woman who jumped me in the shower this morning… and then seduced me while making breakfast and then again when we went on our little boat ride." In fact, they couldn't keep their hands off each other - the only time they seemed to behave was at work and even then they'd been known to kiss here and there.

She raised her head to look up at him in mock offense, pretending to be wounded by his words. "You complaining about me seducing you, Squid?"

Harm laughed as he stole a quick kiss. "Not at all, ma'am." She laid her head back on his shoulder and they fell into a companionable silence. He was content being in this moment, being with the woman he loved more than life itself. "What are you thinking about?"

"That I am happy, really happy for the first time in my life." And she was, nothing else was better than being with Harm and nothing else would ever be. "I have a job I love, a good man ,comfortable shoes...Nothing can be better than...oh!" Mac's words caught in her throat as she stared at the ring he was suddenly holding up between his thumb and index finger. It was a simple diamond ring with a tear drop cut on the diamond itself, the band of white gold. Her mind went numb and she sat up, turning to face him in search for an answer.

"Marry me?" Harm stared at her nervously hoping she wouldn't reject his proposal. He briefly wondered if everyone felt like this, scared of a rejection and what would happen if she declined his offer.

For a moment, Mac felt like she was dreaming and then her eyes fell on the diamond ring he was still holding. She glanced up at Harm to find a nervous expression she rarely saw from him that warmed her heart. "Yes."

And with that simple word he slid the ring onto her finger and then placed a kiss on her knuckles. "Guess this means you have to love, honor and obey me for life." He wagged his eyebrows suggestively and that infamous flyboy grin went up in full wattage.

Mac rolled her eyes, "We'll work on the obey part."

"I'm a great negotiator."

"Oh, I know." A devious smile made him realize just how much she enjoyed certain negotiations.

Harm's hand had slipped behind her neck as she drew her closer. He kissed her deeply and felt Mac moan into his mouth when his tongue sought out his own. One of her hands had snaked under his t-shirt, fingers playing with his bare skin in a slow caress. She raked her nails over his skin, a sensation that would always set him on fire. Harm stood up abruptly, bringing her with him before picking Mac up in his arms. She opened the screened door and he kicked closed the wooden one before walking them both towards the master bedroom.

"I love you, Harm." Mac said when he set her down on the center of the bed.

"I love you too, Mac. Forever." He would prove to her just how much.

THE END.

AUTHORS NOTE:
Over a decade had passed since I wrote my last JAG story and left others to die on websites, chat groups and FanfictionNet. I never, in a million years, could see me taking up writing about Harm and Mac again. As the years passed and a JAG reunion seemed impossible, I lost the want to write. I would catch CB and DJE on various shows and movies always wondering why TPTB couldn't find a solution with two gifted and gorgeous actors that had such wonderful chemistry.

I chucked my JAG DVDs deep into my closet, took down my pictures of H&M and decided to move on. At times, and only briefly, my mind would come up with some sort of scenario - a scene that could potentially turn into a story.

This one all started with the gala scene in chapter 3 where Harm and Mac were chatting on the balcony. I kept "writing" it in my mind, changing things and wrestling between whether Mac slept with Webb or Harm slept with his date. It's the one "scene" where I could see it in my mind as if it were on TV. I wanted to know where they would go after Paraguay and Harm's obvious disdain for her and Mac's need to move on.

It kept running in my head from time to time. It was a conversation with an employee of mine (we were discussing shows) that piqued my interest again. Somehow, this one came to life.

It has taken some crazy turns (most of my stories do) as right after Mac gets taken, I wasn't sure where I wanted to go. Webb was originally nothing more than Mac's distraction at the beginning - I never intended for him to be bad. Sadik was going to find them (By mistake, Mac's JAG ID would fall from her purse and when the owner of the B&B would all Ops to help return it, Sadik would have intercepted the call and followed them.)

But, it was too predictable. Plus, it was fun to make Webb so hated. I also needed to redeem Chegwidden as it was never explained WHY he never took Harm back. This wasn't like when Mac went to a private firm… Harm resigned for one of their own, it just never made sense - much like season 9 and 10.

The ending could have been better but, I think they've been through enough. Plus, the muse has run out for this one.

Thank you for sticking around! Thank you for those fans that remembered my old stories and have taken the time to review. Not sure how long this ride will continue but, there are a few things in writing. Hopefully, I can keep you entertained and annoyed for a while. ;)

All of the chapter titles were songs from a Dutch symphonic rock band called Within Temptation. It's been both a source of amusement and frustration to find a song that matched the chapter. I love to complicate myself. LOL!

Thank you again! :)