Chapter 20: The Cullen's are back

After Bella left, i decide to stay back in her house and wait for Charlie. I knew he would be completely heart broken and worried that his daughter chose to leave without his permission, especially when he finds out that she left because of The Bastard.

I was right. He was devastated. Poor Charlie. A good man, trying to be a good father. I envy Bella for that.

The only reason he didn't call the FBI to report his missing child was because i promised that Bella would be back soon. Well, i hoped so.

The first day without her was hard. The second, even worse. On the third day i was almost going after her. Jacob too, the only reason why he didn't was because he didn't have a passport.

With the Clearwater's just joinment of the pack, the wolves were quite busy and couldn't spend as much time with me. Sam did show up once a day, but that was not really enough to make me chill out, which made me abuse a little too much of my alcohol stock. All i could think about was Bella, and the fucking Cullens.

What the hell was going on there? Why is she not back yet? Is she dead? Please, please god, she can't be dead.

When my phone played the music that i've been wanting to hear, though, i was not expecting to happen at such a hour of the night.

2 am.

'Cass, come to the Cullen's house now.'

Bella's messege was simple and to the point. And it only took me one minute to leave my house.

In my desperation to see my friend, i barely saw the streets passing around me as i ride to the Cullen's home, only realising where exactly i was going, when i parked in front of the huge house.

The sight of that place brings me too much painful memories, i can still remember clearly all the things he said to me, right there.

Looking around, i am surprised at seen so many cars parked to the side of the house. I was not expecting the whole family to be inside, only Bella and Edward, or Alice, but not them all.

What to do? Go inside? Am i ready for that? Turn around and leave? Can i just leave my friend behind like that? No, no i can't. Bella asked for me and that's why i am here. Not for them. I can do this. I can pretend they don't affect me anyhow. I can pretend i don't give a shit about them coming back or not.

I can pretend i don't love him anymore.

I took a deep breath and started walking towards the house, it felt like i was walking in slow motion and for some reason, the song Believer from Imagine Dragons was playing in my head.

Pain!

You break me down, you build me up, believer, believer.

Ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum.

I was getting closer. My hands were sweating. My eyes were wide open in fear and anxiousness. If i didn't control myself quickly i was sure i was going to faint.

I reach the door and close my hand around the door knob, hesitating for a few seconds before of finally opening the door.

The sight inside of the house was one that i was not expecting though. Besides from Bella, everyone in the room was looking at me anxiously and worriedly.

Jasper by the window, avoided my eyes as soon as i looked at him. Alice by his side, pressed closer to her lover as if to comfort him.

Next was Emmett, who was looking strangely happy and worried at the same time. Rosalie by his side, had the same cold appearence as always, but i could also see a little regret hidden in her eyes.

The next couple was the one i feared seeing the most, so to not cause any discussion -or crying, probably both- i simply avoided eye contact with both of them and turned to the side were Bella and Edward where standing.

He is here. He is right there. So close to me...but so far away as well.

"Bella, for god's sakes." I exclaim as soon as i look at my friend. She immediately runs forward to hug me and i wrap my arms around her as hard as i can. "I was so worried." My voice breaks a little and she hugs me tighter. Oh god don't let me cry. Please, no. Not in front of them.

"Cass...i'm sorry." She pulls away from the hug to look at me. "I got home a few hours ago. I'm sorry i didn't call, i was just so tired."

"It's okay." I say, relieved that my friend was fine. I hug her once more and through her shoulder i can see The Bastard that started all of this shit.

Fucker. I tell him mentally.

He gives me a tentative smile but stops immediately when i don't reciprocate.

"What's going on? Why did you called me here?" I ask Bella quietly, not because so they couldn't hear us, they are fucking vampires, but to make a point that i was there only for her and that i was going to talk only with her.

"Hm. Well, i wanted you to make part of this conversation, because well...it has to do with you too." She says, pulling away but not letting go of my hands.

"What do you mean?" I ask, thoroughly confused.

"I...hm. Cass, i well, you know that..." She begun to stutter and Edward went forward to place a comforting hand on her shoulder. "I decided that i want to be a vampire. And, Carlisle is going to turn me after graduation."

"What?"

What?

What the fuck?

She was going to be one of them? After everything she went through because of that bastard.

"Cass..."

"Bella!" I exclaim, not knowing what else to say to her. I let go of her hands and take a few steps back, passing my hand through my hair and massaging my temples. My head was about to explode. "What about your parents? Your friends? You will leave everything behind?"

"It's what i want, Cass." She murmurs quietly.

"Is it really? You definitely didn't want that a week ago!"

The Cullen's gladly staying as quiet as possible while we discussed.

Bella, though. "I didn't have Edward a week ago."

"And now you do? Until when? When he leaves again what will you do? Wander alone in the earth?"

"He is not going to leave me!"

"How can you be so sure of that?" The fact that Edward stayed silent only makes my point more valid.

"Cass...please...it's what i want." She whispers, and that breaks my heart. Because i could see clearly in her face, that she did indeed want that. She wanted so much that she was willing to sacrifice her life, she was willing to leave her family behind, she was willing to leave me. For him. So they could be together forever.

For me, though, forever doesn't exist. Nothing last forever, i was sure of it. But, it was her life and that's what she wanted. Who am i to tell her otherwise?

The silence in the room prolongs, and i am afraid to look around. Afraid to see those faces that hunted my dreams for so long.

"You didn't call me here at dawn to tell me that, did you?" I ask, suddenly realising there was more to it than that.

"Well...yes." She looks at someone behind me briefly, but i don't turn around to look. I couldn't. I couldn't bear to look into his eyes. "In Italy...we met the Volturi..."

"I know that." I murmur, shivering slightly just from hearing that name.

"What you probably didn't know, is that...Aro, they leader, has an special power, kind of like Edward's."

"He can read minds?"

"Yes, but, differently." She was getting more anxious by the second.

"How so?"

"He needs to touch someone to be able to read they minds."

"So?"

"But, it's not like Edward. He...Cass, he can read everything the person ever thought in his life."

"What does that have to..." I stop immediately when i realise what she was so nervously trying to say.

Aro could read minds. He read Edward's. Probably Alice's too. Maybe even Bella's, if she wasn't immune to him too. Which means...

They knew.

About me.

They knew about me.

I heard Carlisle's voice in my mind then. A memory from the day he told me about the Volturi coven.

"They have only one law: Never let a human find out about our existence."

"And what if you do?"

"Then, they give that human a choice. To be one of us, or to suffer te consequences of breaking the rules."

"What happens if you break the rules?"

"Death."

They knew about me. Which meant, i had two choices.

To die. Or to live a unhuman life.

Both choices would end up with death. I told you so...the little voice whispers in my head.

Suddenly i am so full of anger i can't even control myself. My skin burns as if i had flames running all over my body. I don't think. I just act. I throw myself on Edward and hit him repeatedly with my fists, until someone grabs from behind with such a strength, i was not used to it.

"Calm down." It was Alice. The little bitch. She was holding me tight with both arms as i convulsed and tryed hard to hit that bastard Edward again.

"Fuck you! Fuck you all." I yell.

"Cassidy, please."

I froze. It was him. It was his voice. His voice saying my name. And i hate the effect it still has on me, after all this time.

"Let me go." I say between gritted teeths. Alice doesn't even blink.

"I'm sorry, Cass." Bella says quietly.

"You're sorry?" I laugh darkly. "Your boyfriend fuck me over."

"I am sorry, Cassidy. I didn't meant..." The bastard talked for the first time that night, and rearing his voice only made me want to rip his head off even more.

"Fuck you! You didn't mean it? You don't fool me. You didn't give a shit. Am i right? It never crossed your mind, did it? That going to the Volturi would be a death sentence not only to you, but to me too."

"Forgive me. I thought Bella was dead and i just couldn't think straight." He looks ashamed but that didn't help at all.

"But she was. Ever since the day you left. Bella die that day. Because she was certainly not living after that." I say, and it only gives me pleasure at seen his distressed face.

"Cass..."

"No, Bella. Don't say anything. I can't believe you are so willing to stay with this...man, i don't think he can even be called that." I hiss, finallg being able of getting out Alice's embrace. "It's just what i needed. Victoria and The Volturi trying to kill me."

"We will deal with Victoria, you don't need to worry about that." Edward say, but i don't even give him a glance.

"I don't need your protection."

"Cassidy..." Carlisle says my name once again, and that just breaks me a little bit more.

"Shut up!" I complain, trying really hard not to look his way. If i see him, if i look into his eyes...i won't be able to hold myself together.

"Cass, what are you going to do about.. "

"What do you think?" I ask my friend, or not-so-friend-anymore Bella. There is no way i am going to be one of them.

I look around to the others in the room, careful not to look to where his voice came from. By the expression on they faces, they were all very upset with what was happing right now.

"You will always be welcome in our family, Cass." That was Emmett's voice, and when i looked his way, he gave me one small smile that i didn't return.

"Thank you, but... no thank you."

With that said, i turn around and go back to the way i came in, hesitating for a second in front of Jasper. He gave me the saddest look i've ever seen before of looking down, ashamed. He was still probably blaming himself for everything that happened that day.

Shame was something i understood very well. And, i also knew that, Jasper had nothing to be ashamed about.

I start walking closer to him slowly. His eyes open wide and i can see a little fear in his eyes. By the way the tension grows in the room, i realise that all of the vampires were very anxious about what i was going to do. Reaching him, i stop in front of the vampire and remember the last time i saw him. It was not a pretty sight but i don't let that memory scare me. He was not going to hurt me, i was sure of it.

I put my hand on his shoulder and he freezes even more. I could see by the look on his face that he was holding his breath and that only made me believe even more that i was safe in his presence.

"Cassidy.." He starts to talk, an apologetic look on his face but i stop him immediately.

"It was not your fault, Jasper."

He is suprised at first, but upon seen the sincerity in my eyes, and probably feeling it with his empath powers, he relaxes, releasing the breath he was holding, and looking at me thankfully.

"Thank you."

After that i finally leave that fucking place, only being able to really breath after i am outside in the open.

My first instinct was to grab my phone and call Sam, and that was exactly what i did. He picked up on the third ring.

"What?" His voice was tired and he sounded like he had just woken up.

"The Cullen's are back." I say, my voice void of any sentiment.

"Fuck." I heard him curse and then he hangs up.

Unfortunately, for me the night was not over yet.

"Cassidy." His voice. Oh god his voice. It was as beautiful as i remembered.

I didn't answer. I couldn't. I was frozen, mind blank, heart squeezing painfully. I was going to faint, there was no way i could do this without passing out.

"Cassidy, please. Look at me."

I take a deep breath, and continue walking, my legs were shaking but that didn't stop me. A few steps later i feel a strong breeze pass by my side and then suddenly, he was there. In front of me, bloking my way.

God he was beautiful. The most beautiful man i had ever seen.

It's too much though, seen him. I hold back the tears that start to spill from the corner of my eyes, trying to look strong in front of him but failing miserably.

He looked exactly the same. The same golden hair, the same doctor hands, the same tall figure, the same small lips, the same eyes. Oh, his eyes, they are my down fall. When our eye meet, my knees go weak and i almost fall. He is looking at me with so many different feelings that is kind of hard for me to follow. One feeling though that i could see was the biggest one, was sadness. Ans knowing that he was sad for me, made even more angry than before.

"What the fuck do you want?" I don't need your pity.

"Cass, i'm sorry..." He takes a step closer and i take one back.

"I don't want to hear." I hiss.

"Please, just let me explain..."

"Stay away from me, Carlisle." And for the first time saying his name didn't hurt like it did before. But the sight of him? Oh yeah, that hurted like hell.

"Please. Please, my love..."

"What the fuck did you just call me?" I ask, horrorized.

"Cassidy, i'm sorry, i'm so sorry. I lied. I lied to you." He is so distressed, that for a moment i believe him, but them i remember all the pain i went through because of him, and the slight remorse i felt went away in a blink.

I started walking again, towards my bike and thankfully he doesn't stop me. He does follow me though.

"I lied. That day, when we broke up. It was all a lie." He say, and my heart squeeze tightly, a few tears drop from my eyes but i don't stop walking.

"I don't believe you."

"It's the truth. I swear."

"Your word means shit to me, Carlisle."

"Please, i have missed you so much. My love..."

"Don't calm me that." I yell, finally breaking down in tears. "You don't get to call me that."

He looks so afflicted, mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water. And i have the feeling, that if he could cry he would be doing that right now too.

"Who do you think you are? Walking out of my life like i meant nothing to you, and now coming back to say you lied? Fuck you, Carlisle."

"I'm sorry, i know i hurt you, but..."

"Hurt me?" I don't know if i laugh or cryed, maybe it was a mix of both. "You distroyed me. You turned me into someone full of hate and anger. A person with no self-esteem, that had to drink to stop thinking about you all the fucking time!"

"I just wanted to protect you. I couldn't bear if..."

"Save your speech for someone that cares."

"When Jasper attacked Bella, i was so afraid. Afraid that the next time something like that happened, it would be to you. I couldn't bear the thought of you getting hurt. And to be because of my family. I am sorry, my love, i lied to you, yes. And i will regret that for the rest of my life."

How many times have i dreamed of him coming back to Forks and telling me those exact same words? How many times have i cryed the next day when woke up and realised it had been all a dream? Many times, yes, more then i can count. But, in the end, it was not good enough. It all just sounded fake, a dream come true my ass, it was as if Fate was testing me or something.

Would you go through the same things all over again, so you could be with him one more time? It was asking.

Hell no.

"I don't believe you."

I get on my bike, and that's when he starts to beg. It surprises me at first, seeing him down on his knees begging me to stay, to listen to what he has to say. But, it was also the most amazing sight i have seen in a while.

Doctor Carlisle Cullen, down on his knees, begging for me to stay with him.

Huh, karma really is a bitch.

I turn on the ignition and ride out of Cullen's frontyard, acelerating in the road, afraid he would follow me or something.

There was no more tears in my eyes anymore. No more remorse. Or sadness. No, all i felt on that moment was numbness. And a comflict of emotions deep inside of me. On one hand, i felt accomplished for being able to see Carlisle suffering the same way he made me suffer these past months, on the other hand, i was terrified of what the future was holding for me.

The Volturi and Victoria were after me. Which one will get here first i wonder.

"Argh. I really need a drink."

TO BE CONTINUED...