Title: Epiphanies
By: jes004 (aka Janice)
Description: Illuminating discoveries. Mostly Irina, Sydney, and Jack

Disclaimer: The characters are all borrowed and belong to J. J. Abrams and whatever Alias copyright holders there are. Only the story is mine.

Part 1

The air was brisk as Irina walked the compound. These moments of fresh air helped make the long hours behind her glass wall almost bearable. At the time, giving up her freedom had seemed the best way to reconcile with her family. Now, she wasn't so sure. Sitting alone in the cell gave her brain too much time to think. "And to remember" said the inner voice she tried to ignore. The sound of the door opening caught her attention. Sydney. Her daughter smiled at her. Irina knew better than to reach out and hug her. The drawn guns had been enough warning the last time.

"Hi." Sydney moved closer to her mother. "I, um, I just thought I'd come by for a talk, Mom." She looked at the guards. "I got clearance from Kendall for us to be able to sit out here. He's giving you an extra 15 minutes and the guards are not supposed to bother us." Sydney eyed them apprehensively.

As they moved to the stone bench, Sydney lightly touched her mother's arm. Irina grasped her daughter's hand. They sat for a few moments in silence.

"What's wrong Sydney?" Her daughter's startled reaction told her she had guessed correctly. Anyone looking at her would think Sydney carefree. But Irina knew the smile was hiding her pain. She's so like her father. She hated seeing her daughter hurting like this. She hated even more seeing her try to close off those feelings.

"Mom, when did you know you loved …?" Sydney stopped suddenly, realizing her faux pas. "I'm sorry. I forgot. For so many years I've had this belief that you and Dad were..." Her voice trailed off.

"Sydney," she said softly, willing her daughter to look at her, wanting her to understand. "We were in the college library. I had a major paper due the next day. There was a quote I needed to tie the whole thing together, only I couldn't remember where I'd read it or who had said it." Irina's eyes focused inwardly, smiling at the memory. "Your father had a major exam the next day and should have been studying for it. But there he was, sitting at my side, intently scanning the books, helping me find my needle in a haystack."

She paused for a moment, lost in the memories of that day. "My paper was on the poetic works of Robert and Elizabeth Barrett Browning and their romantic relation of their poems. Naturally, the central theme was Elizabeth's "How do I love thee? Let me count the ways." I'd read it a thousand times, but in that moment, on that day, I finally understood. I looked at your father, head bent in concentration and knew the words as my own epiphany." Another thought. "Your father asked me to marry him that night."

Sydney looked at her mother in confusion. Irina sighed. Somehow she needed her daughter to understand this simple truth. "Sweetheart, I don't think Meryl Streep could pretend to love someone for over ten years and not be discovered. What you remember of your father and me," she said almost fiercely, "that was real." Irina paused for a moment, then, "Sydney." Her daughter looked up. "Your father will realize this eventually. He just … needs time." Sydney nodded. She understood.

"What about Daddy's test?" It was Irina's turn to be startled. Sydney smiled up at her mother. "You said he had a major test the next day?"

Irina laughed. "He aced it, of course. He always did." She shook her head in bemusement. "Your father has an audio graphic memory. He never forgets anything he hears. It's one of the reasons he excelled in linguistics." She looked at her daughter. "You inherited that from him, you know."

Sydney drew in a shaky breath. Irina looked at her inquiringly. "So he really is my father."

"Of course he is," Irina said forcefully. "Sydney, I may have betrayed your father by passing information on to the KGB, but that was it. Whatever gave you such an idea?"

Sydney bit her lip, then looked in to her mother's eyes. "Sloane. He keeps making these remarks about how like a daughter I am to him. It's not what he says, really, but how he says them."

"That bastard." Sydney had to laugh when she heard this. Her father had said the exact same thing the year before, when Sloane had told her how that he felt like she was his very own daughter.

Irina had hated Sloane all those years ago. Jack had not understood at the time what kind of person his supposed friend was. But she had. It had given her great pleasure to steal Sloanes' information and pass it on to the KGB. She had gotten the idea after a little visit by Sloane one afternoon.

Jack had been away on assignment for a month. They had not been in Los Angeles long and she had not yet started her new teaching position. She was lonely without him, but Sydney helped occupy her days. The two of them had gone to the carousel that morning. Jack had discovered it shortly after they arrived. Sydney had fallen in love with the flashy horses. Returning from the park that afternoon, she had been startled to find Sloane standing in their living room.

"Arvin, is something wrong? Jack?" Fear shook her voice. She dreaded the day when someone would come and tell her that her husband would not be coming back.

He shook his head and smiled at her. She didn't like that smile. It never reached his eyes. "No. I just got word that Jack will be delayed a little longer than expected and thought you'd like to know."

"Oh, yes, thank you." Relief washed through her. "Do you know how much longer he will be?" She tried to keep her tone neutral. Sloane didn't need to know how much she yearned for her husband.

"No. We should know better by tomorrow. He asked me to let you know." He moved a little closer to her. The hairs on her neck began to rise. Having him stand so near unnerved her. "I'm sure it gets a little lonely with Jack away. I wondered if you might like … a little company. It's such a big house and it can be very dangerous for a woman alone at night. She needs a man to protect her."

She looked at him disbelievingly. Had he really just propositioned her? The snake. "Thank you so much for your concern, Arvin, but I am quite all right. I took self defense classes when Jack was stationed in West Virginia and my husband taught me how to shoot." She had emphasized 'husband' for good measure. "Well, I am sure Emily is as anxiously awaiting your return as I am Jack's. Thanks so much for stopping by."

She hated sneaking down and rifling Jack's briefcase and here was the perfect opportunity for her. Sloane was Jack's boss. If she could steal Sloane's information, she wouldn't need to go through her husbands work. Emily liked to throw little dinner parties. Slipping in to Sloane's study was fairly easy. It proved to be gold mine of information. Unlike Jack, who only brought work home when absolutely necessary, Sloane apparently liked to bring everything from his office. The KGB had been very pleased with the higher-level intelligence. It was such sweet revenge. She never told them where she got the information. So much the better that they thought it came from Jack. The information was too good for them to try and extract her. She had been safe for a time and for a little while she could simply be Laura.

"He likes to needle Dad, too." Sydney brought her back to the present. "I've wanted to ask Dad about it, but I was afraid to cause him any more pain. Dad seems to be able to ignore Sloane, but I can't. I hated the idea of Sloane being my father, but I also hated the not knowing."

"Sydney, believe me when I say this. Jack has absolutely no doubts that he is your father."

A whistle blew. "Time's up, ma'am." The security guard waited impatiently. She looked at her daughter regretfully. It was so little time. "Ask him, Sydney."

Sydney smiled at her mother. "I love you, Mom." It came at barely above a whisper, but she heard it. She could live within the confines of the cell for now.